Bill of Rights

1. My purrson shall not make no attempt to restrict my freedom of movement
                  (except that restriction which can be soundly proven  to benefit my physical welfare).
This especially applies to holding me when I do not wish to be held.

                                  2. My purrson shall not attempt to train me to do ridiculous d*g tricks like play dead and roll over.

                            3. My purrson shall not laugh out loud at me (or encourage others to do so) no matter how silly
I look in the source of my training.

                       4. I shall haf the right to bare CLAWS (if I still have them to protect myself and  my property.
 

          5. I shall haf the right to object strenuously if any other cat is quartered in my quarters
without my consent.
 

                                    6. I haf the right to secure in my special spot, litter, toys and general catness & protect same against
unreasonable search and seizure.
 

                                       7. I shall not be removed from my place in the sun without due cause or from any chair that I haf claimed.
 

                    8. Under no circumstances whatever am I to be punished by hitting or slapping or else I shall
again haf the right to bare CLAWS or teeth.

9. Dire need must be proven before I am to be immersed in water.
 

              10. My person shall admonish her acquaintances, spouse and/or children to  avoid shutting
                 my tail in doors or sitting on me. or stepping on my tail when I am guarding a doorway.
 

            11. My person shall not leave any fish to thaw, then get angry when she returns to find it
half eaten and on the floor.

            12. I shall not be squirted with a water or air gun unless I transgress against numbers
3 and/or 9 of my purrsonal Bill of rights.
 

     The End