How to have a long and happy coexistence with HUMANS!
Furniture Etiquette:
No matter how much you may feel the need to sharpen
your claws, never
use the human's new sofa. Humans are furry particular
about their possessions.
The chances of getting forgiveness from them is none.
No matter how cute you
are or how much mew suck up to them it is hopeless.
Some felines haf even
found themselves at the pound the next day. The pleasures
are just not worth
the consequences.
Hunting Trophies:
There is no accounting for the sensitiveness of humans.
No matter how proud
mew are that you've caught and killed a rodent or
tasty bird never try to
offer it up as a gift to your human. Humans will not
graciously accept the gift
no matter how purroud you are of your prize or the
thought that mew thought
that much of them to bring it home. Worse yet, if
the kill is not dead the human
will confiscate it and let it go.. Oh,
Hiss!!!
Dietary Choices:
All cats know the self-destructive urges that can overcome
a careless
cat. Yarn and tinsel can look so delicious and inviting.
However,
be aware of the nasty consequences. Sometimes swallowing
yarn
can be a disaster and mew will end up in the dreaded
vets place!
Tinsel can cause terrible gastrointestinal upset that
mew will regret
and might even lose many good TUNA meals too, which
taste a
whole lot better.
Spraying (a no no):
Males are somehow programmed to mark their territory.
It's in their genes,
but humans do not understand this. They think the
house is theirs and
that spots on the walls, doors or furniture is offensive.
It mew don't want to find
yourself outside and homeless keep spraying outside!
If mew ignore this
habit that seems perfectly normal to mew youl will
do this at your own risk!
Curiosity can be Dangerous:
Curiousity can be fatal. Remember you are not indestructible.
If you
curl up in the human's dryer because it seems so private
and secure
your human may someday toss things in on top of you
and turn it on.
(Furry painful, I hear) also that cosy little drawer
in a dresser stored in
the basement could imprision you until you starve
to death. Be careful
where you choose to get your naps! Never get
in a situation that you
can not get out of.
Climbing:
As for climbing pole and trees be aware that birds
have wings
and a tree or high pole is no place to catch one.
Unless they are on
the ground and you can take them by surprise it is
a hopeless
task. Also, a most embarassing one if you have to
be rescued
by the fire department rescue squad. Although you
feel you can jump
the 200 feet to the ground this could be CATastrophic
and might
either mess up the rest of your life or end it right
there!
Take care of your nine lives it's all you've got.
