Liquor
.ColdDrink:/me hands $$1 a nice cold $?
.HotDrink:/me hands $$1 a nice hot $?
.Beer
..Budweiser:/me hands $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 a nice cold Budweiser...
..Miller:/me hands $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 a nice cold Miller Genuine Draft...
..Coors:/me hands $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 a nice cold Coors...
..Labats:/me hands $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 a nice cold Labat's ICE...
..hmmm:/me hands $$1 a nice cold $?="enter beer"
.Liquor
..Whiskey:/me hands $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 a big Bottle of Jack Daniels... mmmm...
..WineCooler:/me hands $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 a big Bottle of Wine Cooler... mmmm...
..Ever:/me hands $$1 a Shot of EverClear.. LOOK OUT!!! | /a hands $$2 a Shot of EverClear..
..Myers:/me hands $$1 a Myers Rum with OJ & fresh Lime
..Merlot:/me hands $$1 a nice glass of Merlot
.Other
..Coffee:/me hands a fresh cup of coffee to everybody
..coke:/me gives $$1 a cold can of coke
-
.Bans
..BanKicks -- Temporary
...BanKick -- inactive:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 Inactive too long | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- asked for ops:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 Asked for ops | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- scripts:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 Kept asking script questions | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- bots:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 Kept asking bot questions | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- annoying:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 Just plain annoying | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- shouting:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 please don't shout | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- no reason:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 | /timer 1 30  /mode # -b $1
...BanKick -- ???:/kick # $1 $?="reason?" | /mode # +b $1 | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
...Ban -- Test:/mode # +b $1 | /timer 1 30 /mode # -b $1
..BanKicks -- Permanent
...BanKick -- asked for ops:/mode # +b  $1 | /kick # $1 Asked for ops
...BanKick -- scripts:/mode # +b $1 | /kick # $1 Kept asking about scripts
...BanKick -- bots:/mode # +b $1  | /kick # $1 Kept asking about bots
...BanKick -- annoying:/mode # +b $1  | /kick # $1 Just plain annoying
...BanKick -- yelling:/mode # +b $1  | /kick # $1 please don't yell
...BanKick -- No reason:/mode # +b $1  | /kick # $1
...BanKick -- ???:/kick # $1 | /mode #+b $1
Insults
.Direct
..Roses:/msg $1 Roses are red, violets are blue... | /msg $1 I was made beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
..Face:/msg $1 If my dog had a face like yours, I would shave my dog's ass and make him walk backwards.
..Corn Flakes:/msg $1 Yep.  I'd say you're almost as interesting as the corn flakes I had for breakfast this morning.
.Your Mother
..She Pays Me:/msg $1 De me a favor, when you get a chance: | /msg $1 Would you tell your mom that starting tomarrow night, she is going to have to pay me.
..Fat/Bogger:/msg $1 Your mom is so fat she sat on a quarter and squished a bogger out of George Washington's nose.
Actions
.Girls
..Works:/me gives $$1 a passionate kiss on the lips, slipping his tongue inside and slowly slips his hands into her blouse and starts fondling her breasts
..Rose:/me hands $1 a rose....... @}>-`--,--`--- cos she is beautiful
..Rose2:/me also hands $1 a rose....... @}>-`--,--`--- cos she is feeling a bit left out
..Kiss:/me blows a kiss to $1
..Kiss2:/me sends $1 a thousand kisses all over her body!!
..Grin!:/me grins that grin at $1
..Grin2!:/me cheekily grins at $1 *wink*
.HELLO
..hiya:/me says Hiya $$1
..nam:/me says $$1 !!!!!!
..rehi:/me says re Hi $$1
..cya:/me says  cya $$1
..cyaH:/me says cya $$1 *huggles*
..wel:/me says Welcome $$1
..get:/me gets $$1 a nice Welcome Drink....and serves it with a *smile*
.Kiss
..happy:/me gives $$1 a Happy to see you *smooch*.......
..hello:/me gives $$1 a big *hello smooch*....glad to see ya!!
..bye:/me gives $$1 a bye bye *smooch*.....hurry back!!
..pass:/me gives $$1 a warm passionate *kiss* !!
..blow:/me blows a *kiss* to $$1 ......
..morn:/me gives $$1 a Good Morning *smooch*....
..cuz:/me gives $$1 *hugz* and *smooches* just because......
..hug:/me *hugs* the stuffin outta $$1
.HUGS
..day:/me *huggles* the everlovindickens outta $$1
..super:/me *snugglewugglessnurflewurfleshugglejustdownrightbearhugsboythisisalotoftypingHUGS* $$1
..warm:/me warmly *huggles* $$1 ...
..glad:/me gladly *snurflehuggles* $$1 ......
..tackle:/me *tacklehuggles* $$1 ......gotcha !!!
..wurf:/me *wurflehuggles* $$1 !!!
.General Actions
..Grin Wicked:/me grins at $$1 wickedly!
..Smile:/me smiles warmly at $$1!
..Laugh at:/me laughs uncontrollably at $$1!
..Boot to the Head:/me boots $$1 in the head!
..IceCream:/me CoolDudeŽ snaps his fingers and off in the distance "Wavs" is heard , all of a sudden $$1 is covered in vanilla ice cream , then , from the heavens , a flash of light and $$1 is covered in chocolate syrup , then whipping cream falls on $$1 from a passing cloud , out of nowhere a bright red cherry apears on $$1 head...  "He He , anyone for desert?"
..WakeUpM:/me tosses a bucket of freezing cold water on $$1 to wake him up!!!!!
..WakeUpF:/me tosses a bucket of freezing cold water on $$1 to wake her up!!!!!
..TAG:/say $$1 , guess what,  TAG.. YOUR IT!!!!
..Hi 5!:/me jumps up in the air n gives $nick an AERIAL HI-5!!!
..Skittles:/me has just taken $$1 's Skittles, and RAN!!!
..Spin:/me picks $* by the kahuna n gives $* aeroplane spin
..Ninja:/me secretly puts on his Ninja disguise... | /me jumps up in a tree and waits for $$1 | /me see's $$1 walk under the tree... | /me drops a CHICKEN on $$1 's Head...
..CowBoy:/me dons his CowBoy outfit... | /me grabs his trusty Lasso and looks for $$1 | /me see's $$1 and starts'a'swingin... | /me lasso's $$1 , dress's em in a Cow outfit, and put's em in the Bull Pen.. MOOOO
..TNT:/me sneaks up to $$1 | /me pulls out some TNT and lights the Fuse... | /me puts the TNT in $$1 's back pocket... | /me runs away and watches $$1 BLOW UP!!!
..JellyBean:/me sneaks up behind $$1 | /me pulls out his bag of Jelly Bean's... | /me has his dog lick 2 Jelly Bean's... | /me sticks the Jelly Bean's in $$1 's Ears.. heeheh
.Slaps
..Fight Actions
...Fightnwrds:/me thinks those are fightin words and watches $$1 outa the corner of his good eye...
...Punches:/me standsup and unloads an unmercifull series of punches on $$1 's face, then laughs as he lay on the ground and bleeds.
...head:/me grabs $$1 by the hair and swings around securing $$1 in a headlock. $$1 's eyes bug outa his head and he is unconcious.
...duckshoot:/me dives behind bar, pulls gun outa shoulder holster | /me pulls back the slide and takes aim at $$1 | /sound 9mm.wav EAT LEAD SUCKER!!!!
...Lookin Good:/me looks at $$1 and compliments $$1 on appearance | /sound lookdork.wav
...9mm:/me doesn't like the way $1 is lookin' at him... | /timer 1 3 /me approaches $1... | /timer 1 5 /me looks at $1's feet... | /timer 1 7 /me draws his Baretta... | /timer 1 9 /me starts shooting at $1's feet... | /timer 1 9 /sound 9mm.wav | /timer 1 11 /say Dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | /timer  1 14 /sound m16.wav
...talk to me?:/me raises eyebrow at $$1 's last comment... are you talkin to me ? | /timer 1 3 /me pulls back his jacket revealing a Baretta 9mm that's thirsty for blood | /timer 1 5 /me swings the gun to face $$1 and unloads every round into $$1 's head... | /timer 1 7 /sound 9mm.wav | /timer 1 9 /me takes his seat and finishes his drink
...Block Attack:/me blocks $$1's futile and hopeless attack!
...Glare at User:/me glares sharply at $$1 !
...Punch User:/me punches $$1 sharply in the nose!
...Shoot User:/me blows $$1 away with a double barrel shotgun!
...Grenade User:/me takes out a grenade ... pulls the pin ... 4 ... 3 ..2 ... tosses it at $$1! | /say Damn...what a BLAST!!!
...Hang User:/me puts a tight rope around $$1's neck and opens the channel trapdoor! | /say hung!!!
...Cast Spell:/me casts a magical spell of $?="What kind of spell?" upon $$1!
...punch user:/me pulls back his fist and Hits $$1 Sharply in there $$?="where did ya hit um??"!!!! | /say that hurt LOL LOL!!!
...kick user:/me moves back to do a roundhouse and hit $$1 in the $$?="and you hit them..."!!!
...shoot user with?:/say Ok, you R bugging me, Tyme to get ruff, $$1 | /me pulls out his $$?="your???" and Shoots it at $$1 to cause some MAJOR damage to their $$?="damage to??"
...sword user:/say Want to bring this bak in tyme?? | /me gets on his armor and ulls out his Version 5.83 Dark Dragon Sword | /say you asked fer it | /me hits $$1 with the sword in their $$?="where did you hit um??"
...monster:/say arugh, you are beetin me | /me falls to the ground | /me turns in to a Huge monster with 300 teeth and a large tail!!! | /me growls
...ms Tail:/say HAHAHAHAHA | /me whips tail at $$1 to break their $$?="what did ya break??" | /me shows his 300 teeth!
...ms fire:/say GRRRRRR | /me opens mouth and blows fire at $$1, charing their $$?=charing there..." ..ms goback:/say I am not being fair am I?? | /me turns back to a mortal
..SnowBalls
...Single:/me Throws the worlds BIGGEST SNOWBALL at $$1 ------=======ooooooooOOOOOOO(     )
...Tag:/me throws a Snowball at $$1 and says TAG = YOUR IT!!!! | /me quickly hides so $$1 cant see him...
...Gun:/me whips out his Nuclear Powered Snowball-Gun and Fires at $$1 till the Snow is ALL gone...   PPPPOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
...Face:/me shoves snow in $$1 's Face.. hehhehe
...Multi:/me throws a snowball at $$1 $2 $3 $4 $5 $6 .... :)
..Choose:/me slaps $1 with a $?="Enter Slapping Tool:" !
..Unix:/me slams a 60 lb unix manual on $$1 's head. That gotta hurt... but the again... where there's no sense... there's no feeling!
..trout:/me slaps $1 around with a hairy, slimey, smelly, and contaminated trout!
..stone:/me has been turned to stone cause of $1 's uglyness!
..paper towel:/me gets mad and throws a wet paper towel at $1!
..match:/me sticks a lit match between $1 's toes!
..bat:/me gets a blue plastic bat and smashes $1 with it " BATTER UP!! "
..surprise:/me sneaks up behind $1 and puts a live tarantula down $1 's pants!! " HeHeHeHe!
..love:/me falls in love with $1 's beauty....
..Warning:/me warns $1 to watch their mouth or risk being kicked!
..fake lagg:/me says $1 you there? | /timer1 1 7 /me says  Are you still alive $1 ? | /timer2 1 14  /me says are you ignoring me $1 ? | /timer3 1 21 /me says You must be lagging $1 HELLOOOO!! | /timer4 1 28 /me says  WOOO 39 sec ping reply WoW! | /timer5 1 35 /me says you better do something about that lagg $1 | /timer6 1 42 /me says  HELLO!! ARGH! | /timer7 1 49 /say hehehehe Gotcha!
..Spellfire:/me looks at $1, aims is wand, speaks the command word, and disentigrates $1 before $1 even knows he is doomed...HaHaHaHa!!!
..ThermoNuke:/me turns his keys, firing a Thermonuclear Intercontinental Ballistic Missile at $1, vaporizing him before he can reach minimum safe distance...WWIII has just started.
..Large Keg of Dynamite:/me places a keg of dynamite for $1 to sit on, and lights the fuse.  $1 sits, the fuse burns up, the keg explodes, sending $1 to all corners of the globe and beyond!!!!!!!
..Fire Hose:/me slaps $1 with a fire hose!
..Law Suit:/me slaps $1 with a huge law suit!
..Duck:/me slaps $1 with a great big, wet, 100% rubber DUCK!
..Alka Seltzer:/me opens $1 's mouth and shoves a handful of Alka Seltzers in with a refreshing cup of water!
..Fruitcake:/me warns $1 to be careful, "People like you have a special place, ya fruitcake!"
..Pumpkin:/me grabs a handful of pumpkin guts and sticks them down $1's throat
..Like:/me says "Sure I like you $1 " | /msg # BUT NOT TODAY!!!!
..Snails:/me waits for $1 to fall asleep, then puts two snails 
.Other
..Fork:/me Takes Out A Fork... | /me Approaches $1... | /me Rams The Fork Up $1's Nose.
-
Kicks
.Regular Kicks
..FaGZ KicK:/me LooKs At $$1 And Notices a Pair Of Limp Wrist's... | /me LauGHs At $$1 's Apparent Lack Of Masculinity..... | /me YeLLs To $$1 " Hay FAG, Don't Hit Yer LooSe Ass On Tha Way Out" | /kick # $$1 We Dun't Like Them §Fagz§ HeRe
.Splatterkicks
..Splatterkicks 1-20
...Typing:/me notices that $1 has not mastered language skills | /me decides to help $1 with his problem | /me says recite after me $1 , A is for apple , B is for bicycle , C is for..... sod this | /kick # $1 Try #Lamer you jerk off!!!
...Truck:/me breaks into $1's car.... | /me disconnects the brakes on $1's car | /me Later that night, $1 decides to go for a drive | /me $1 hits the breaks and nothing happens | /me $1 ploughs into an Articulated Truck.... | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk(tm)!!!!!!!!!!!
...Smell:/me smells something bad.. | /me looks at $1... | /kick # $1 You smell too bad to be in this channel, ciao amore
...Idle:/me notices that $1 is idling.. | /me decides to get rid of $1 | /me picks up $1 and throws $1 out of # | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!
...Sexcow:/me gags $1 and stuffs him in a Cow suit, then tosses him into a corral with a horny bull. mmmmmooooooeeeeey | /kick # $1 You were kicked for having sex with animals! pervert
...Dyke:/me notices that $1 is slightly strange... | /me asks $1 if she likes men and she replies "No I like Women I am a lesbian | /me says its alright i'm not prejudiced to gay and lesbians | /kick # $1 I lied SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!
...BruceLee:/me changes into Bruce Lee | /me kicks $1 in the chest...**Kaiaaaaa; | /kick # $1 Splatterkicked Kapow!!!! , Now have a nice day wont you!
...Bat:/me smashes $1's head with a baseball bat *BOK*#!! | /kick # $1 Stitch that one you bag of shite !!!!!!!!!
...Chair:/me pulls down the switch to the electric chair | /kick # $1 Rare .....Medium........or well cooked?
...Priest:/me dons his priestly garb. | /me dispatches $1's soul on its way to the pearly gates. | /kick # $1 May God Rest Your Soul!
...Toilet:/me grabs $1 by the hair and jams him face first into the toilet... | /me does the royal flush. | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!
...Mjackson:/me turns into Michael Jackson | /me throws $1 carelessly to the floor. | /me does the moonwalk up and down $1's ass. | /kick # $1 Beat It!!!
...Leaving:/me says I want you all to know that $1 leaving us | /kick # $1 bye bye SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!
...Einst:/me pulls out his portable chalkboard. | /me shows $1 the function of relativity for chaos mathematics. | /me watches as $1's brain shorts out with a puff of putrid smoke! | /kick # $1 Bye Bye Einstien!!!!!!!
...Bird:/me says $1 - what is your real name? | /me says $1 - what is your quest? | /me says  $1 - what's the average air speed of a coconut laden swallow? | /kick # $1 On second thoughts dont bother!!!!!!
...Mjordan:/me waves his hands and turns into Michael Jordan for a instant. | /say $1 give me those Nike's! | /me leaves a court shoe print across $1's face. | /kick # $1 SlamDunked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...Crack:/me casts Otto's Irresistible Dance on $1. | /me then casts Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter on $1. | /me watches as $1 laughs and dances off the channel. | /kick # $1 Lay off the crack, its really startin' to show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...Lotus:/me grabs $1's tongue and pulls it wayyyyy out. | /me takes out locking ring and loops it through $1's tongue. | /me then fastens the ring to a Lotus Esprit and drives off. | /kick # $1 You have been SplaTTeRkiCkeD by the one known as <NICK>..........Boooyakka!!!!!!
...Ispy:/me says  lets play a game......I - Spy | /me looks around for a object | /me says  I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'L' | /timer1 10 | /me says  give up?................ok... the answer is Lamer who happens to be $1 | /kick # $1 This is just a game to me !!!!!!!!!
...Poem:/me has written a poem for $1  | /me says There once was a guy with a nick..... | /me says  Who really was some kind of prick... | /me says So <NICK> stepped in.... | /me says  And said with a grin..... | /me says  Its time for small SpLaTTeRkiCk | /kick # $1 Is this what they mean by poetry in motion????!!!!!
..Splatterkicks 21-40
...Flower:/me becomes bored with $1, cranks some tunes. | /me takes a dancing flower and shoves it up $1's ass! | /me watches as $1 goes through several interesting convulsions then snuffs it. | /kick # $1 Wanna Dance?.........hehehehehehehhehe
...Pirahna:/me looks to his left...then to his right. | /me takes out a little black bag and points it at $1 | /me watches as $1 is attacked by a mob of pirhana clams!!! | /kick # $1
...Drugs:/me notes $1 has been poisoned!!!!! | /me hmmmm odorless...bitter taste.....hmmmmmm | /me aha! cocaine powder !!! no drugs allowed here you junkie | /kick # $1
...1Go:/me $1 you have pissed me off to the point where I cannot take it anymore | /me One of us has to go, It's you or me | /kick # $1 Unfortunately its you!!!!!!!!
...Maths:/me decides to use calculus on $1. | /me takes the second derivative of $1. | /me is astonished... he has just disproved $1's existence!!! | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!
...Wand:/me reaches into one of his many pockets. | /me draws forth a wand with an emerald tip. | /me points the wand at $1 and utters arcane words of power... | /kick # $1 Magic!!............hehehehehehe
...Lamp:/me waves at $1 with complex motions and changes his appearance. | /me turns $1 into a really cool purple lamp shade with pink polka dots. | /me Oh shit you clash with my sofa... | /kick # $1 Switched Off!!!!!
...Boot:/me Ha $1, so you think yourself my equal...hmmm... | /me But I have something I must tell you... | /me You see $1, I am not left handed either. | /kick # $1 and my right foot kicks better!!!!!!!
...King:/me Pawn jumps $1. | /me Bishop jumps $1. | /me It's good to be the king. | /kick # $1 Peasant!!!!!
...Petrol:/me dumps a can of gasoline on $1 | /me lights a match and tosses it. | /me laughs as $1 turns squirms and smokes to a blackened crisp. | /kick # $1 Seeya Hot Stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...Nitro:/me opens a cannister of liquid nitrogen. | /me dumps it all over $1 | /me laughs $1 become stiff, then shatter into thousands of gleaming shards. | /kick # $1 Terminated!!! hahahahaha..SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)
...Acid:/me pulls out a bottle of hydrocloric acid. | /me splashes it in $1's face. | /me watches $1 as skin runs in rivulets from bone until only a pool remains. | /kick # $1 <NICK> SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!
...Pray:/me prays to the Gods of IRC for assistance. | /me watches for a sign... | /me laughs as $1 is seared by lightning and torn asunder. | /kick # $1 Thank God .........Thanks God..hehehehehehe
...Sword:/me pulls out a finely engraved iron wrought long sword. | /me runs $1 through and waits until $1 stops gurgling. | /me then yanks the sword up through $1's spine, rib cage, and lungs. | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!
...God:/me prays silently to the IRC Gods for assistance. | /me watches the skies for a sign... | /me laughs as the ground beneath $1 shakes and splits open engulfing $1. | /kick # $1 Thank God...............Thanks God hehehehehehe
...Plague:/me calls upon the Daemon Primarch Mortarion to answer his summons. | /me now $1 feel the wrath of the Prince of Plagues. | /me watches as $1 dissolves into a mass of blisters and bleeding scars. | /kick # $1 Seeya later Handsome!!!!!
...Chill:/me grabs $1 by the neck and props $1's mouth open. | /me stuffs large quantities of frozen ice cream bars down $1's throat. | /me sets $1 off to the side and watches has he turns blue | /kick # $1 Chill Out!!!SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)
...Jaw:/me grabs $1 by the neck and hooks $1's upper jaw over his thumb. | /me takes careful aim while stretching $1 wayyy out... | /me releases $1... *twang* | /kick # $1 bye bye..... SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)!!
...Nostril:/me grabs $1 by the right nostril and pulls it wayyy out... | /me looks around for a suitable implement of devise for $1... | /me grabs a running chainsaw and stuffs it up $1's right nostril... | /kick # $1SplaTTeRki
...Drain:/me becomes a magical conduit between the Prime and Negative Material Planes... | /me then touches $1, draining $1's life essence away... | /me What life? He's on irc all the damn time! | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk
..Splatterkicks 41-60
...Frog:/me pulls a small, deadly vial from his pocket. | /me breaks the vial over $1's head... | /me laughs as $1 suddenly turns into a frog! | /kick # $1 Hop It!!SplaTTeRkiCk(tm)
...Axe:/me pulls out a sharp battle axe and slices off $1's head.. | /me watches the head roll to the floor, covering $1 with blood.. | /me slings the axe over his shoulder and laughs with murderous glee! | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk
...Wayout:/me 'accidentally' bumps into $1 on the observation deck at the Empire State Building.... | /me laughs as he watches $1 go for the plunge.... | /kick # $1 WAY OUT!!.............hehehehehehe
...Boom:/me searches for a small explosive... | /me finds a half stick of dynamite... | /me blows $1's ass out of the known world... | /me wishes $1 pleasant dreams and a happy tomorrow... | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk
...Chair:/me puts $1 into an electric chair and throws the switch..... | /kick # $1 Fryin' Tonite!!!!.   SplaTTeRkiCk(tm)
...Nuke:/me tosses $1 into a microwave oven and sets the dial on 'HIGH'.... | /kick # $1 Nuked by <NICK>......SplaTTeRkiCk(tm)
...Enema:/me picks up a cordless-drill with a paint-stripper... | /me decides that $1 could REALLY use an enema... | /kick # $1 Up Yours Matey!!!.....SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)
...Hang:/me ties a rope around the neck of $1 and places him over the trap-door... | /kick # $1 Dont bother to hang around!! hehehehe
...Mode:/me *** LAMER PROTECTION MODE ALERT *** | /me Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeeeep! | /me Lamer spotted!! Lowering targets on the lamer! | /notice $1 Guess what, its you! | /timer 1 4 /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk by <NICK> Channel Protection (tm) keeping IRC free from Undesirables!
...Missile:/me loads a laser guided AARM-32b smartbomb into the F-16E. | /me watches as the sights level on $1. | /timer1 3 | /msg $1 look out below! | /me watches as the bomb hits $1 and pounds him 20ft into the ground. | /kick # $1 Bombed out Dickhead!!!!!!! SplaTTeRkiCk
...Scalp:/me pulls the scalp off of $1. | /me eats the scalp | /notice $1 Mmmmm! finger lickin' good!! | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk(tm)!!!!!!!!!!!
...Power:/me raises his arms to the sky and feels energy flow into his veins. | /me points his finger at $1... | /me opens his hands and releases the energy at $1 | /me bye bye sucker | /kick # $1 I've got the power!!!!!!!
...Head:/me approaches $1's swaying body. | /me takes hold of $1's neck. | /me removes $1's head and spine from it's body. | /me Say goodnight $1. | /kick # $1 Pull yourself together!!!! SplaTTeRkiCk
...Flames:/me removes his mask revealing his skull. | /me lets forth a stream of fire upon $1's pathetic body. | /me $1 is engulfed by hellish flames. | /me mozilla | /kick # $1 Burned out!!!!!!!
...Bones:/me approaches $1's fear paralyzed body. | /me thrusts his hand into $1's chest. | /me $1's rib cage is seperated. | /me bye bye bony | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk
...Sonya:/nick _Sonya_ | /timer 1 8 /me gazes upon $1's quaking body. | /me undress $1 with her eyes and moves her hand to her lips. | /me blows $1 a kiss which takes the shape of a flaming ball. | /me $1's body is consumed by the "Flames of Lust." | /kick # $1 BYE BYE HOTSTUFF!!!! | /nick <NICK>
...Kungfu:/me After executing a devastating flying kick, $1's body sways. | /me approaches $1 and glances at his target. | /me hurls himself through the air, cartwheeling towards $1. | /me swings his harm and makes shattering contact with $1's jaw. | /me laters lamer | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)
...Punch:/me looks into $1's eyes. | /me approaches $1 with lightning speed. | /me pauses to look one last time at $1 panic stricken face. | /me THOCK!!! | /me punches $1 head from $1's neck with inhuman strength. | /kick  # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)
...Chop:/me puts on his black hood. | /me escorts $1 to the guillotine. | /me Any final requests before the blade drops? | /me No ? | /timer1 2 | /me Good! | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!(tm)
...Throw:/me spits out a wad of chewing tobacco | /me *pbpbth* | /me Listen $1, we don't like yer kind around here... | /me so git on outta here before we throw yuh out! | /kick # $1 Toooooo Late!!!!
..Splatterkicks 60-85
...Gun:/me decides to get REALLY liquored up! | /me grabs a shotgun and takes pot shots at passing clouds. | /me is waaayyyy too drunk, though, and starts taking out other objects in his vicinity. | /kick # $1 Blam!  Blam!  Blam!  Whoops!  Oh well...!
...Dick:/me grabs $1 by his little dick. | /me pulls hard and swings $1 around the channel. | /me swings faster until $1 's dick snaps off. | /me watches as $1 flies off the channel. | /kick # $1 Forgot your mushroom cap!
...Bus:/me and $1 are waiting at the bus stop. | /me watches as the bus approaches... | /me nudges $1 out into traffic before the bus can stop. | /kick # $1 You gonna eat this lunch?
...Violent:/me hates violence. | /me hates violent people, too. | /me thinks that $1 is too violent. | /me grabs $1 by the neck and lifts $1 off the ground. | /me shoves his fist through $1 's midsection. | /me head-butts his surprised face before dropping $1 to the floor./ | /kick # $1 I'm a nice guy, really!
...Fire:/me decides to build a fire. | /me takes the first dead wood he sees and throws $1 in the pit. | /me covers $1 with gasoline and strikes a match. | /me doesn't seem to hear $1 squealing like a pig for mercy as he drops the match. | /kick # $1 Poof! Hmm... Barbaque! My favorite!
...Knit:/me looks bored. | /me decides to interest himself by mangling $1. | /me shoves his fist into $1 's chest and pulls out a handful of capillaries. | /me begins knitting a sweater. | /kick # $1 Knit One, Pearl Two....
...Grin:/me takes out a bloodstained axe and acquires an evil grin | /me :-} | /me lifts the axe high above $1's head... | /kick # $1 SplaTTeRkiCk!!!!!!!!!!!
...Curt:/me suggests that $1 do his Kurt Cobain impression. | /me watches as $1 props a shotgun to his mouth and blows his brains out. | /me waits for three days before an electrician finds $1 and throws him out. | /kick # $1 That's not teen spirit you smell....
...Rod:/me wonders how well $1 would work as a conductor. | /me ties $1 to the base of a lightning rod. | /me is pleased as a storm starts brewing and lightning strikes the rod. | /me takes notes as $1 's nervous system becomes a superconductor. | /kick # $1 For the good of science, not you.
...Whore:/me wonders where $1 really came from. | /me does some research, only to discover that the best part of $1 ran down some whore's leg. | /kick # $1 We can always try again later, honey hehehehehehe
...Whine:/me thinks $1 whines too much. | /me thinks $1 does more whining than Gallo. | /me suggests $1 go visit California to be with the other cheap whines. | /kick # $1 I hate whine...
...Cleaners:/me smells something terrible. | /me figures out that it's $1 who smells like a dead elephant on a hot summer's day. | /me decides to send $1 to the cleaners. | /kick # $1 Put it on my tab!!
...TNT:/me watches too much Mr. Wizard. | /me decides to try an experiment./me Now $1 you hold this putty, while I hook up these wires.... | /me feigns shock as $1 's ass is blown into next week. | /kick # $1 For my next experiment....
...Brain:/me has always been fascinated by Don Herbert. | /me wants to try an experiment with $1. | /me wants to monitor the brain levels of a moron. | /me frowns at the results. | /kick # $1 What was I thinking?  Need a brain first!!
...Mercy:/me tries to find where $1 begins and where $1 ends. | /me notices the circle that $1 's body makes from neck, to ass, to neck again. | /me has never seen a life-form this low in the food chain. | /kick # $1 T'was a mercy killing.
...Suck:/me looks over and sees $1 desperately trying to bend far enough to suck himself off. | /me wonders why no one else has kicked him for such pathetic behavior. | /me notices that no one else is paying attention to him. | /kick # $1 Try #jack-off!
...Druid:/me waves an ancient druid sceptre over $1 | /me chants "KLATU! VERATTA! NIKTU!" | /me waits as nothing happens | /me says "Fuck this" and busts the sceptre up $1's ass | /kick * $1 That's GOTTA hurt!
...USA:/me kicks $1 through a time warp.... | /me $1 lands at the Jim Jones incident.... | /me Jim Jones says "Hey $1! How about some PurpleSaurus Rex Kool Aid?" | /me $1 chugs a pitcher and says "damn, why is this stuff so good?" | /me Jim Jones says, "Well $1, it's either the nutrasweet or the cynanide!" | /kick # $1 This must be an American thing cos it doesn't mean shit to me!!!!