~ THE WAY OF THE GUN ~
Longbaugh: There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.
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Longbaugh: A heart is the only thing that has value. If you have one, throw it away.
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Joe Sarno: So, you the brains of this outfit, or is he?
Longbaugh: Tell ya the truth, I don't think this is a brains kind of operation.
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Joe Sarno: Fifteen million dollars is not money. It's a motive with a universal adaptor on it.
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Joe Sarno: I promise you a day of reckoning that you won't live long enough to never forget.
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Hale Chidduck: Do you believe in karma?
Joe Sarno: Karma's justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.
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Joe Sarno: The only thing you can guess about a broken down old man is that he is a survivor.
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Parker: A plan is just a list of things that aren't going to happen.
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Longbaugh: I've... never killed a man.
Interviewer: I beg your pardon?
Longbaugh: I said I never killed a man.
Interviewer: I didn't ask if you had.
Longbaugh: You asked why I thought I was qualified, I think of that as qualification.
Interviewer: And I'm just wondering why that in particular strikes you as an important qualification for semen donation.
Longbaugh: I would say thats a big f***ing qualification -- excuse me, a very important qualification.
Interviewer: No one's ever said that before.
Longbaugh: Have you ever asked?
Interviewer: No.
Longbaugh: You should.
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[Narration after the shoot-out at the brothel]
Parker: We don't want your forgiveness. We won't make excuses. We're not gonna blame you, even if you are an accessory... But we will not except your natural order. We didn't come for absolution, we didn't ask to be redeemed. But isn't how it is, every goddamn time... Your prayers are always answered, in the order they're received...
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Longbaugh: You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed.
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Longbaugh: We die here, we die alone
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Joe Sarno: I'd never ask you to trust me. It's the cry of a guilty soul!
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Parker: For the record I'll call myself Mr. Parker. My associate will be Mr. Longbaugh.
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Longbaugh: Until that day then?
Joe Sarno: Until that day it is.
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Parker: The longest distance between two points is a kidnapper and his money.
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~ PLAYING BY HEART ~
[Fumbling on a date]
Meredith: As you can see I'm not very good at this.
Trent: You're charming.
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Meredith: Wow.
Trent: Yeah I know, the flowers are a little much, but I'm late. But only because I had second thoughts about the flowers and threw them away halfway down the block. Then had third thoughts and went back and got them.
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Keenan: That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen.
Joan: She's an angel.
Keenan: She only has one eye.
Joan: Yeah, but it's her good one.
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Paul: Don't look at me with that tone of voice.
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Keenan: What did I ever do to deserve you?
Joan: Usually that line is screamed at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change.
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Keenan: This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.
Joan: So? We're all damaged goods.
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Meredith: I have a hard time trusting men.
Trent: I'm not men. I'm not a group. I'm just me.
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Meredith: I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want all this calculated artificiality. This dress, these stupid little bows in my hair, they aren't me. I mean, look at you. You--you don't sit around your house in an Armani suit, do you?
Trent: No. My house is black-tie.
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Hannah: And you really didn't sleep with her?
Paul: No, of course not.
Hannah: And-- you didn't want to sleep with her.
Paul: Oh, God, yes I did.
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Paul: You're overwrought.
Hannah: I'm perfectly wrought! Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought!
Paul: There's no such word.
Hannah: There is now!
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Paul: You know, I never knew what happiness was until I married your mother. And by then it was too late.
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~ I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER ~
Max: You can wipe that my-s***-don't-stink grin off your face.
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Sheriff: Oh, and did this killer use his hook to cut all your hair off?
Helen: No, he used sissors, asshole.
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Elyssa: Is the dried-out, washed-up has-been having a moment?
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Helen Shivers: We should have a plan. Angela Lansbury always had a plan.
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Helen: By that time I'll just be finishing my two year contract with Guiding Light coinciding with your first year as starting quarterback for the Steelers.
Barry: Cowboys.
Helen: Then we can elope to Europe, or the Caymans, wherever, where I'll let you impregnate me with the first of 3 children before you head off to rehab. Then we can live happily blah blah blah.
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Helen: Well Bob, at summer's end I plan on moving to New York where I'll pursue a career as a serious actress. It's my goal to entertain the world through artistic expression. Through art I shall serve my country.
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Barry Cox: You got a letter? I got run over, Helen gets her hair chopped off, Julie gets a dead body in her trunk, and you get a letter? Oh, that's balanced!
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Julie: We need help.
Barry: I'll say. You two should look at a mirror sometime. You look like sh*t run over twice.
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Ben Willis: If you're going to bury the truth make sure it stays buried.
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Killer: If you're going to leave someone for dead, you'd better make damn sure that they're dead!!
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~ ANTI-TRUST ~
This isn't a game! In the real world, when you kill people they die - for real! And in the real world you're f***ed!
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