Being a Christian, when I first recognized and started dealing with the abuse in my life, it was only natural for me to seek counsel from other Christians; and that I did... Several things occurred to me during this process. The first thing was that the very essence of childhood sexual abuse is evilness and sin, therefore, comprising a very nature. By spiritual in nature I mean that evilness is very real and very spiritual and impacts us emotionally, psychologically and physically. The evil lusts and impulses which perpetrators have given themselves over to, wittingly or unwittingly, seem to spontaneously spill over and collide with the innocent's.
So now, the realization that this is greatly a spiritual battle has become truth to my soul and the battle is on. But, WHERE IS THE SPECIFIC CHRISTIAN, GODLY COUNSEL FOR THOSE OF US WHO WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN, and that MOST OFTEN BY A FAMILY MEMBER(S), FRIENDS or TRUSTED PERSONS OF THAT FAMILY!!
This was the second thing that I realized. Once past realizing that this is a spiritual battle, where do I go to talk with another Christian about specific issues that deal only with childhood sexual abuse victims. These are issues that only another survivor could understand. Trying to find godly counsel which specifically deals with this pointed issue is not an easy task. I'm talking about counsel that you do not have to PAY FOR!!! It seems to me that when someone comes to a pastor or lay person with an alcohol problem, drug problem, marriage problems, child disiplinary problems, teenage pregnancy problem, financial problem and a myriad of other "problems," advice and counsel abound. Christian Groups and Bible Studies are gladly started within the church or community for people who need counsel regarding these issues, and rightly so. Thank the Lord that the willingness is there. I'm not saying that there would be a person within every church who would feel "qualified" to share with another survivor, but you would think there could at least be one person, group or center that the pastor or laity of the church could refer the survivor to. Some survivors who have become Christians may have been led to believe that since they have been saved, there should be no ongoing pain from their past abuse, that every feeling should be totally healed. Maybe this has happened for some and praise the Lord for it, but for many, many others it has NOT, and they should not be tossed aside like a wet rag because the Church doesn't know what to do with them. Once abused always a victim or survivor, the pain can last a lifetime.
Sexual abuse is a definite concern of God's. Here are just a few scriptures to verify that fact:
Lev 18:6-24
6 "'No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD. 7 "'Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her. 8 "'Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father. 9 "'Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere. 10 "'Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you. 11 "'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister. 12 "'Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.
13 "'Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative. 14 "'Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt. 15 "'Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her. 16 "'Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother. 17 "'Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness. 18 "'Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living. 19 "'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period. 20 "'Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her. 21 "'Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD. 22 "'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.
23 "'Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. 24 "'Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. (NIV)
Matt 5:27-28
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (NIV)
Matt 15:19-20
19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.'"
(NIV)
Rom 1:28-29
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, (KJV)
2 Cor 12:21
21 lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced. (NKJ)
These are just a few!!
Why has it not been a concern of the Church's? Why is this issue, as I have found for the most part, not addressed. We are told, that approximately 1 in 4 children are sexually abused by a family member, friend, or trusted authority figure, and they tell us that this statistic may be low!! That means that there are many people sitting in the pews of your church each Sunday who have been sexually abused. They could very possibly be silently suffering because the Church has been very hush, hush about the issue and there is no awareness and/or compassion towards these injured people. Sometimes I believe the Church purposely shys away from shining the spotlight on childhood sexual abuse because at times the media and society has given the Church a bad wrap with regards to sexual abuse because of the victimization of a few within certain religious organizations. This is unfortunate. The reprocussions of the abuse are deeply astonishing and can affect that person for the rest of their lives. Is it because, that when we become Christians we believe that the past is past, after all, we were only children then, what does it matter now!?! Right!? Of course not!! These are scars that are forever healing. It is by the grace of God that we as survivors have lived through the abuse. Now we need to be there for those who have been abused to freely and unashamedly come for comfort, counsel, support and sharing. Is it because, our society, as a whole, cares so little about the abuse of children that it is SWEPT UNDER THE RUG, not only largely by the civil authorities but by the authorities of Christ's church. I have found plenty of secular and very informative web sites for abuse survivors and have heard of secular support groups for survivors. Where is the godly, spiritual counsel that the souls of these suffering people crave and need?? My prayer is that the Church would wake up, become aware and have an open, compassionate door for childhood sexual abuse survivors.
If you have come across a Christian counseling web-site or Christian counseling/support group for sexual abuse survivors, please, I would love to hear about it. If you are a pastor, lay pastor or Christian counselor and have information leading to Christian resources for childhood sexual abuse survivors that a person can actually afford, I would love to hear from you, as I'm sure their are many others.
May the Lord open the doors for us to minister one to another with compassion, caring, grace and the love of Christ. WWJD!!! |
