|
|
SF ISO SM
40-ish - 48.
Adventurer - Has had more partners than you ever will.
Affectionate - Possessive.
Artist - Unreliable.
Athletic - Flat-chested.
Average looking - Ugly.
Beautiful - Pathological liar.
Committment minded - Pick out curtains NOW!
Communications important - Just try to get a word in edgewise.
Contagious smile - Bring your penicillin.
Educated - College dropout.
Emotionally secure - Medicated.
Employed - Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home.
Enjoys arts and opera - Snob.
Enjoys nature - Bring your own granola.
Exotic beauty - Would frighten a Martian.
Feminist - Fat ball-buster.
Financially secure - One paycheck from the street.
Free spirit - Substance user.
Friendship first - Trying to live down reputation as a slut.
Fun - Annoying.
Gentle - Comatose.
Good listener - Borderline autistic.
Humorous - Caustic.
Intuitive - Your opinion doesn't count.
In transition - Needs new sugar daddy to pay the bills.
Light drinker - Lush.
Looks younger - If viewed from far away in bad light.
Loves travel - If you're paying.
Loves animals - Cat lady.
Mature - Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed like her last boyfriend did.
New-age - All body hair all the time.
Non-traditional - Ex-husband lives in basement.
Old-fashioned - Lights out, missionary position only.
Open-minded - Desperate.
Outgoing - Loud.
Passionate - Loud.
Petite - Wouldn't stand out in a pack of munchkins.
Poet - Depressive schizophrenic.
Professional - Bitch.
Redhead - Shops in the Clairol aisle.
Reliable - Frumpy.
Reubenesque - Grossly fat.
Romantic - Looks better by candlelight.
Self-employed - Jobless.
Smart - Insipid.
Special - Rode the short school bus.
Spiritual - Involved with a cult.
Stable - Boring.
Tall, thin - Anorexic.
Tan - Wrinkled.
Voluptuous - Very fat.
Weight proportional to height - Hugely fat.
Wants soulmate - One step away from stalking.
Widow - Nagged first husband to death.
Writer - Pompous.
Young at heart - Toothless crone.
SM ISO SF
40-ish - 52 and looking for 25-year-old.
Affectionate - Needy and looking for mother-figure.
Artist - Delicate ego badly in need of massage.
Athletic - Sits on the couch and watches ESPN.
Average looking - Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back.
Distinguished looking - Fat, grey and bald.
Educated - Will always treat you like an idiot.
Employed - On management track at Radio Shack.
Financially secure - I will spend some money on you, in return for which I will expect you to obey my every whim for the duration of your mortal life.
Free spirit - Sleeps with your sister.
Friendship first - As long as friendship involves nudity.
Fun - Good with a remote and a six-pack.
Good-looking - Arrogant bastard.
Honest - Pathological liar.
Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben.
ISO slim, attractive female - Would be better off with a Labrador retriever.
Light drinker - Headed for AA.
Like to cuddle - Insecure, overly dependent.
Like romantic walks on the beach - I read Cosmopolitan and think this is what you want to hear.
Mature - Until you get to know him.
Open-minded - Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested.
Physically fit - I spend a lot of time in front of mirrors admiring myself.
Poet - Once wrote on a bathroom stall while constipated.
Professional - Owns a button-down.
Reliable - Shows up on time---give or take 3 hours.
Self-employed - Same as for women and eats nachos on weekends.
Sensitive - Needy.
Smart - Thinks Cheers is the wittiest show on TV.
Spiritual - Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter.
Stable - Occasional stalker but never arrested.
Thoughtful - Says "Please" when demanding a beer.
Virile - Can read 3 Penthouse Forums without passing out.
Young at heart - Pedophile.
