05/24/2002 - Updated 12:28 AM ET

Ashcroft Challenges FAA Ruling Prohibiting Guns in Cockpits

By Gummi Bear, Jr.

WASHINGTON DC —

Airline pilots may not carry guns, the FAA and Department of Transportation ruled yesterday, rejecting the demands of thousands of pilots who petitioned for the right to keep firearms in the cockpit as a last line of defense against hijackers.

The ruling was immediately challenged by John Ashcroft, who pointed out that he was acting on behalf of the Department of Justice and not as the official poster boy for the NRA.

"This administration has made great strides towards fulfilling our campaign promise of a "gun concealed in every pocket or purse", and with only one more Supreme Court Justice to go, we will soon accomplish our highest objective - namely to obtain a twenty-first century interpretation of the Second Amendment and one more in tune with the raw emotions of a nation at war."

"It has long been the position of this administration that no person or animal should be denied the right to bear arms, and with our nation so proudly at war against evildoing extremists, I can think of no better time than the present to usher in the most meaningful phase of our nation's proud gun heritage - namely to arm our commercial pilots to the teeth."

"We need to show our terrorist enemies that when they board the First-Class section of an American-made Boeing aircraft flying the flag of Delta or American Airlines that we are prepared to deal with them and their puny box cutters."

"This time, try us out - we will show you what a weapon of mass-destruction means. We will have our pilots carry 37 Magnums; our flight crews, double-barrelled sawed-off shotguns loaded with buckshot; and our baggage handlers, fully loaded Uzis, with extra clips in their oversize coverall pants pockets."

Asked at the press conference what he intends to do if the US Supreme Court sides with the FAA and the Transportation Security Division and upholds the ban on gun-toting pilots, Mr Ashcroft had this to offer:

"We also have a contingency plan. In the event the Supremes still can't get it into their collective heads that our nation's founders indeed intended for every white male to carry a gun, we will simply await the next nomination of a new justice to the United States Supreme Court."

"I have it on good authority that Mr Bush's next candidate offered up to the Supreme Court will be exceedingly well qualified," he added with an ill-concealed smirk.

"My understanding is that Mr Bush's next candidate will be a sitting Attorney General, with great experience in stretching the Constitution to fit his needs, a morbid sense of urgency in protecting our Nation's unborn, an equally uncanny knack for spotting pornography where others merely see art, a penchant for fighting international terrorism with his own brand of truculent, domestic terror, and he happens to be a pretty good duck hunter, to boot."

"Both the President and the expected nominee for Supreme Court Justice share common cowboy roots, and both men have shown great willingness to place the global policy telescope to the blind eye in order to attain quick, popular justice. This modern attitude of judicial expediency demonstrates both the fallacy of the policies of prior Democratic administrations as well as the absence of a real need to base our method of democracy on established precedents in constitutional law; instead, our new method of implementing global justice traces its mandate to a higher power, that of God Almighty, but can also be expressed as "People's Will", or, more precisely, the "President's Will."

"In the meantime, until that glorious day happens, we will merely introduce a "bring a friend to work" tradition at our commercial airlines. Pilots will be encouraged to bring civilian friends and acquaintances to work, and we will permit these friends to fly with them in the cockpit."

"As of this moment, I have a list of 225,000 over-anxious volunteers who will be prepared to pretend to be friends of our commercial airline pilots, and each is committed to show up for work, carrying up to a half dozen fully loaded weapons and, of course, his NRA membership card, together with promotional materials and signup sheets for this divinely patriotic charity and benevolent supporter of our administration and, let me add, the fourth cornerstone of our great nation."

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The original article serving as a basis for this developing story, can be found here

Earlier in the week, Transportation Security Administration director John W. Magaw told the Senate that it is more important to keep pilots focused on flying their planes and that other steps are being taken to protect them.

Magaw said he is still considering proposals to let pilots and crew members carry nonlethal weapons such as stun guns or collapsible metal batons.

Members of Congress immediately vowed to fight the agency's decision with legislation permitting guns in cockpits.

Invoking the doomed pilots who were overpowered by hijackers on Sept. 11, Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) asked Magaw: "If they had firearms, if they had a pistol to defend themselves or their plane, would that have made a difference?"

"Well, it may have, but that's a lot different today than it was then," Magaw told the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee.

Cockpit doors are reinforced now and remain closed to stop intruders, Magaw said. Pilots are told to keep control of their planes even if it means letting passengers and crew members be threatened by terrorists. The government is hiring and training hundreds more armed air marshals to protect the cabin.

The marshals "will do whatever they have to, to the point of giving up their own life, to make sure that that cockpit stays safe. Now, the cockpit in the aircraft is for the pilots to maintain positive control of that aircraft," Magaw said.

Duane E. Woerth, president of the 62,000-member Air Line Pilots Association, noted that the government's plan calls for Air Force fighter jets to shoot down any passenger plane that comes under terrorist control.

"In the face of such choices, we do not understand why these same government officials refuse to give pilots a last chance to prevent such a tragedy," Woerth said.

David S. Stempler, president of the Air Travelers Association, a passenger advocacy group, criticized Magaw's decision. He noted that even reinforced cockpit doors are not impenetrable and that pilots still open them for trips to the lavatory. "Until we can ensure that hijackers . . . cannot get into the cockpit, there must be some lethal force to prevent them from commandeering the aircraft and doing massive damage with a huge loss of life," Stempler said.

The airline industry has lobbied against firearms, and yesterday an industry official welcomed Magaw's decision, noting that guns could pose unintended dangers to passengers and crew.

Flight attendants have also opposed arming pilots unless they, too, get some type of weapon. Dawn Deeks, spokeswoman for the Association of Flight Attendants, said it was good news that Magaw had resisted the pilots' demands. "A gun in the cockpit is a false sense of security for the rest of the plane," Deeks said.

But she said that Congress could yet reverse him. "I know the pilots have been very busy up on Capitol Hill with this issue," she said.

Bills to arm pilots are making their way through both houses of Congress, and yesterday Rep. John L. Mica (R-Fla.), said he hopes to get his measure through a subcommittee on Thursday. Mica's bill, co-sponsored by Transportation Committee Chairman Don Young (R-Alaska), would allow pilots to carry guns if they pass voluntary firearms training.

"This is not something the Congress has requested. Tens of thousands of pilots and tens of thousands of their families have requested that they have this last line of defense," Mica said.

He added that he also favors guns for pilots because the TSA seems to be mired in delays as it seeks to restructure the aviation security system. The hiring of thousands of federal passenger screeners, for instance, has faced logistical problems and could shut down by the end of this month if Congress fails to approve an emergency budget request.

The House Appropriations Committee is poised to cut the TSA's request for $4.4 billion in emergency funding by $400 million and to limit the agency to 45,000 employees instead of the 67,000 it says it needs. Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta complained yesterday to the Senate panel that such cuts would lead to "long lines and flight delays" at U.S. airports.

Mineta, who has said previously that he is personally opposed to putting weapons aboard planes, did not address the topic yesterday. A transportation official said later that the White House "is aware of our position."

Magaw said he will stand by his decision but if Congress overrides him, "that is their prerogative."

Senate Transportation Committee Chairman Ernest F. Hollings (D-S.C.) complained about the whole notion of putting weapons on planes. "I guess we're going to give the passengers machetes and let 'em fight it out," he said.