OUSTON, Texas

How quickly the news behind yesterday's top stories fades into oblivion!

Six months ago, the Enron and Andersen Consulting debacles took up perhaps twenty per cent of the business publication headlines. Today, one is lucky to find but an occasional byline covering these erstwhile corporate giants.

Where are they today??

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Today, Enron is in the midst of the second-largest corporate bankruptcy in the annals of Wall Street. The company has decided to revert to its previous, unglorious past: a fairly unsexy operator of gas pipelines.

The energy trading division was sold off to UBS Warburg who picked up the unit for no money down, and a promise to pay the bankruptcy court a share of future profits for a few years. And Andersen Consulting (whose decidedly minor audit division, as measured by divisional gross revenues within the firm, brought about the downfall of the company) is itself being sold off, piecemeal, to the highest bidder.

Arthur Andersen LLP announced Monday it is retraining about 7,000 U.S. employees, or 27 percent of its domestic work force, over the next several months as a result of fallout from the Enron Corp.

The redeployment of affected employees, a drastic maneuvre aimed at avoiding outright layoffs, which Andersen had warned last month were inevitable, come with the firm’s reputation in tatters, its overseas network fast disintegrating and more U.S. companies replacing it daily as their auditor. Andersen in a statement said its audit practice and administrative services will bear the brunt of the retraining effort, which amount to a little more than a quarter of its U.S. work force of 26,000.

Out of the public eye, Andersen Consulting's namesake in the windows replacement business, Andersen Windows, had recently been suffering a precipitous falloff in its own business, an apparent spillover effect of the loss of client confidence affecting Andersen Consulting. Out of cash and seeing no way out of its public relations dilemna, Andersen Windows seized the opportunity to sell its operating assets to the only entity interested, namely Andersen Consulting.

Microsoft had also expressed an interest, but on the advice of counsel backed off, apparently due to a concern that the acquisition of Andersen Windows would further exacerbate Microsoft's alleged monopoly in the Windows environment.

So Andersen Consulting will retain the prestigious "Andersen" name, and enter the replacement windows business. How its newly retrained 7000 former audit staff will fare, after a two-week crashcourse in telemarketing, remains to be seen. The American public should probably brace itself for a lot of dinnertime phone calls informing them that the company is "in the area" installing windows, and "we also will prepare your 1040" and "act as your investment advisor".

While Andersen Consulting partners and staff are finding opportunities with competitive "Big Four" consulting firms, the former audit partners face double jeopardy. They may, under United States partnership laws, be individually liable for Andersen's debts and judgments; however, most have difficulty finding new jobs. A major group of Andersen audit partners have formed a new partnership and intend to operate an online dating service named UDate.com

The Lay family is also finding itself in previously unchartered waters. Mrs Lay has been busy placing their vacation homes on the market, and has opened a used furniture store in Houston, hoping to sell off their extensive collections of furniture, paintings, photo albums, and knick-knacks in a glorified yard sale environment.

And Kenneth Lay? Well, he is using his expertise at high-level government contacts and networking within the energy sector. One today finds him spending significant time in Nigeria, mailing off letters to the US at a furious pace.

In his new position as Assistant Deputy Director to the Nigerian Energy Ministry, Mr. Lay apparently has uncovered significant security deposits left unclaimed by large International firms who have left Nigeria. While the Ministry cannot confiscate these foreign funds, he has found a way where an ordinary United States citizen apparently can claim legal ownership to them. His "Personal and Confidential" letters which appear to be mass-produced on a poor-quality photocopier, implore the recipient to fax to Mr. Lay his bank account number, and a specimen signature, together with a "modest" fee to cover bank transfer costs, but promise that the lucky recipient, chosen for his obvious trustfulness and willingness to keep the relationship "Strictly Confidential," will be able to claim a 35% share in these abandoned security deposits, aggregating in excess of $250 Million.