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Episode 7: "Chapter 7"
Original Air Date: 12.4.00
Summarized by: Kris D.

A classy restaurant - table cloths, piano music, etc. Lauren comments on the fact that this is, like, a real date. Harry reminds her that last week? That was a real kiss. She is aware of that, but thought they might write it off on the emotion of the moment. Harry wants to know, "Is that what you want?" Nope. She's just saying, it seems as though they're dating now. Is she afraid of people finding out? Nope. It's going to get out, of course. But so what? Harry asks if she thinks Scott Guber would care if he was out on a date and someone saw him. Lauren wants to know what Guber has to do with anything? He's sitting right over there, on a date. Oh, my.

Guber can't remember the last time he was on a blind date. Apparently, his brother set them up. Guber is nervous - his date is used to it. She's a massage therapist so she's used to dealing with people's insecurities. She can't imagine what it's like working in today's public high schools.

Harry pushes back from the table. "Well, let's go join them." Lauren grins and says they will not. Guber would be mortified. Harry asks if Lauren would be. She's a bit confused by the question. Mortified to be on a date with Harry Senate? " When two teachers date, they do so in a fish bowl but...I'm quite happy to be seen in public with you, Harry." Harry blushes to his ears and they share a Significant Look.

Back to Guber and his date, she's recounting a past date where her and her date were just Not Getting Along. Her date was too nervous. To get him to loosen up, she did something she's never done before. As a massage therapist, she knows "pressure points". Why doesn't she just show him what she did? It's nothing vulgar. Right. As she leans over and bites his ear, then lick it. A lot. Guber is quite uncomfortable, you can tell by the look on his face.

Harry catches this out of the corner of his eye and Lauren turns to look. She scrunches her face up in amused disgust. Harry says that Guber's date seems to be going well...wherein Lauren's expression changes to pure amusement. "Yeah."

Roll credits.

Act I

Stephen and Scott are walking the hallways, Stephen asks if Scott's date went well. Before Scott can really elaborate, Lauren flies in out of nowhere. She reports that there is talk of a nativity scene going up in the main corridor. Stephen knows. Louisa swings into the action to tell them that Mrs. Walsh filed an injuction to keep them from firing her. Harvey comes up and shows the group Sheryl Holt's newest animation. It shows Lipshultz picking African-Americans out of his nose. Everyone is disgusted. Just then, a cadre of naked kids run though the halls. Nude Olympics. During the festivities, Lauren is whacked with...something. She falls like a ton of bricks, they won't let her get up. She's been hit in the head with a breast implant.

Harry is told of Lauren's accident and presumably rushes to her. Halfway up the stairs he's stopped by a student. Harry "is busy", but the student pleads. He wants Harry to sponsor the student-chapter of the NRA. Harry asks the kid if he's on drugs - the NRA? The student presses and Harry agrees, just let him know when the meeting is. He runs up the stairs.

Stephen is with Sheryl Holt, dragging her to his office. She's yelling at him, asking what he's going to do to her. THe gist of their exchange is that he wants her to take the cartoon of the website. She refuses, this is content. If she doesn't remove it, she's suspended. If she's suspended, she'll sue. His decision stands, she removes the cartoon or she's suspended. She heads out the door and declares war.

Harry and Lauren are in the infirmary, Lauren claims she's OK. Harry tells her not to rush it, that he's been smacked in the face with a few breasts, "these things take time." She smiles weakly and tells him she understands why the students love him - he acts their age. Harry asks her again if she's OK, and she says yes, that she's getting up. Harry asks "So, just because you get up, I have to?" She smiles and leans in for a kiss. So, they kiss. Several times. As an afterthought, Harry gets up and closes the privacy curtain.

Mrs. Walsh and Mr. Guber are talking in the hallway. Mrs. Walsh came to give the school another chance, her lawyer tells her that she has an excellent case. Stephen comes up and tells her to leave, they'll see her in court. Guber's date, Marcia, walks up the hallway to visit him. She's wearing a leather mini-skirt and a revealing sweater. D'oh! She wants to cook him dinner and give him a massage. He agrees.

Marilyn is talking to the girl whose implant hit Lauren. It was taken out of her locker - she had some samples and her boyfriend took them out of the locker and was aiming at a Nude Olympian. The girl wants Marilyn to stop the investigation - she doesn't want Sheryl Holt to get a hold of the information on her implant, she'll be embarrassed. Please?

Act II

Sheryl Holt's father is discussing Sheryl's case with Stephen. He has hired a lawyer. Stephen says that's OK by him, they're heading that way anyhow. Lipshultz comes up and says he's a big fan of Mr. Holt's work. Stephen tells Mr. Holt that if he has engaged an attorney, he advises that Mr. Holt speak to him.

Guber and Harper head out to court when Buttle runs up and shows them a funnelator. It's like a sling shot, it was probably used to launch the implant. Guber says something about dusting it for fingerprints.

In her classroom, Harry is admiring Lauren's black eye. Buttle comes in and tells Lauren that the shiner looks cool. He then rounds on Harry - he agreed the sponsor a chapter of the NRA? Lauren is stunned, wondering what he was thinking. Harry says all clubs can't be about chess or saving whales. Buttle and Lauren beging arguing with him, at the same time. Harry stands up and leaves, saying that they should debate the issue and then tell him who wins.

In court, the lawyers are arguing corporal punishment. One is discussing the illegality of paddling students, one is saying she was denied due process. The school's lawyer admits to the possiblity that she was fired because of the chance that she was deriving sexual pleasure from her actions - judge wants a short evidentiary hearing about the sex aspect of the case. stephen doesn't know, but Lipshcultz is the lead witness.

Guber and Stephen show back up at school. Louisa confronts them with the exciting news that Sheryl Holt has sued the school. Guber's brother (the lawyer) wants to know what's up and Guber fills him in. Stephen walks away and Guber and his brother discuss Guber's date. Guber is afraid that she's a bit forward, that she's not his type.

In Lauren's classroom, the Implant!Girl's boyfriend is apologizing to Lauren. He wasn't aiming for her and he wants to make amends. He apolgizes several times and she accepts. Marilyn tells Lauren that, out of sensitivity to the girl, she was looking to squash the whole thing. She thinks that if she can get Lauren to say she accepted the apology, she can talk Harper out of any disciplinary actions and then she can address the implant issue. Lauren agrees and Marilyn leaves. In comes Buttle, however, and with his usual brand of charm asks if Lauren is seeing anybody. Caught offguard, Lauren asks "I beg your pardon?" Buttle whips out his trusty laptop and tells Lauren that today's website has been getting a lot of hits. Lauren is stunned to find video footage of herself and Harry in the infirmary kissing. Cheap porn music, groans and moans have been added as a sound track. Buttle comments "Steamy" and then tells her he usually doesn't ask people about their private life, but since it's not longer private...they turn back to the computer and Harry is sliding the privacy curtain. Lauren grimaces as the sound of a zipper finishes off the video.

In his classroom, Harry is confronted with lots of screaming, clapping and hooting kids. He is glad they approve of what they've seen. He gets them to calm down and says he's pretty sure this isn't the first time that one teacher has kissed another. The kids agree that no, it isn't. But it's him and he...he's usually kissing students. This sets the room off again. Harry says "I'm growing up, can you?" but the shenanigans continue.

In the teacher's lounge, Lipshultz wants to know if Harry and Lauren are "having relations". He asks Kevin, who doesn't know. Harvey says he should know, they're friends, right? Marla warns them that they have to watch out, this is Sheryl Holt retaliating and she's going to expose all their private lives. Harvey says she doesn't have one, and if she did no one would want to watch it. Marla tells Harvey to blow his nose and free a few slaves. Guber walks in and tells Harvey he has to testify on Mrs. Walsh in court and he has to say exactly what he told Guber last week. Marla buts in and says, but that was last week, he can't remember what he had for breakfast! Harvey tells Guber to ignore her, she's a mental. He then asks Guber if he's heard that Harry Senate is having relations with Lauren Davis. Kevin tries to say that Harvey doesn't know that for sure, but Harvey says that young people today have sex before they even kiss. Guber, swallowing hard, and says that he's too busy to worry about Miss Davis' personal life. Walking down the hall, Lauren is followed by whispers of "Did you see Sheryl Holt's website?" and guys blowing kisses to her. At first she's uptight but then gives in with a smile - idiots will be idiots. She sees Scott Guber and calls to him - she tells him that there is video footage on Sheryl Holt's website and it shows...it shows her and Harry Senate kissing. "Really?" Yes, she says, and it has gone too far. Sheryl has cameras around the school like big brother, people on that stupid show "Survivor" had more privacy. Guber says "And perhaps more sense than to be caught in compromising positions." Taken aback, Lauren fires back, asking if they have an issue. He tells her that they're investigating the camera issue and then walks away. Lauren takes two steps when Stephen steps up and asks what's new. She pleadingly asks him not to start up, too. He asks her about her eye and she says she's fine, and tells him about Marilyn's wish - for this to go quietly. She wants to drop it and he's incredulous. She tells him about the implants and he agrees. She asks him how it's going with Mrs. Walsh. It's tense.

Very tense, says Marcia the massage therapist. Guber is naked save for a towel and she is massaging his thighs. She tells him to relax and keeps massaging. Eventually, she heads right up to unchartered territory and Guber jumps straight up. He asks if that's what her clients pay for and she says no, that is brother covered-- she cuts off as Guber picks up on that. He says he's going to go, and heads to the bathroom to dress.

Act III

Harry is talking to Kevin and Milton. They are asking him about Lauren and he says it was a date, a kiss, what's the big deal? They just want to know why he never told them and he says it's private. Milton reminds him that he told them about Louisa - and Harry reminds Milton that he practically took out an ad with Louisa. Very funny. Kevin wants to know if it's "something" and Harry says seriously, it's private. So them Milton wants to talk about the NRA thing. But, no, Harry doesn't want to talk to them about his private life *or* his politics. He accidentally runs into Implant!Girl and apologizes halfheartedly. She stares after him, dejected. Guber, Stephen and Lawyer are in the courthouse. Guber wants to talk to his brother in private. Stephen sees Sheryl Holt and despite her lawyer's objections, asks her if she videotaped Lauren and Harry. She says that she told him he'd be starting a war. The lawyer hustles Sheryl away from him.

In her classroom, Implant!Girl is talking to Marilyn about the implants. She wants them to be popular. Marilyn doesn't like this, it's demeening. The girl says it may be, but them's the rules. She says she ran into Harry Senate in the hallway and that he apologized to her as though she were a lamppost. She says that if she had been Dana Poole or one of the other girls - Marilyn breaks in to tell her that being noticed by Harry Senate should not be on her list of life goals. The girl then turns to statistics that say women with a good body and pretty face go farther in life. She agrees that it sucks but she didn't make the rules. She then points out that Marilyn herself is something of a sex object "The boys want to do you and the girls want to be you." Marilyn has no response for that.

In the hallway, Kevin and Marilyn are discussing this. He wants to know what she said, and she said she had nothing TO say. She says it used to be the airheads who flashed t*ts and a**, but now even the smart women are posing nude and flaunting their assets. Kevin says "And then there's you." Marilyn agrees that then there's her. She wants to look good, knows she's hot, knows boys fantasize about her so...who is she to lecture?

Lauren is in her classroom when Webster (the young man from last weeks' episode)'s mother comes in. WAnts to know about the incident with the breast implant, why the student who hit her wasn't suspended. Lauren tries to tell her that it was an accident, but the woman wants to know why a kid doing dangerous things wasn't suspended when her son was. She wants to know if the boy who hit her was white. Lauren doesn't respond, the bell rings, kids file in, and the mom leaves.

In court, Harvey is on the stand. He is telling what Mrs. Walsh told him, about her husband liking to be spanked, yadda yadda. The opposing attorney ruins Harvey's credibility by bringing up his apparent bigotry in school. Calling the founding fathers "midgets", asking the football team to shower with a "homosexual", telling the girls to wear bras "for the good of their country", didn't want to teach with Marla Hendricks because she uses drugs to control her brain. "She's a manic depressive?" To which Harvey replies "Oh, it's not about religion." Oh, dear.

NRA meeting. (NOTE: I am going to transcribe this verbatim, because I will *not* bias this part of the transcript. (I have no problems elsewhere <g>) I ask you to read responsibly, and remember that this is only a TV show.)

Harry Senate: (leading clapping) Thanks, what a turnout. Thanks, first for choosing me. The idea of being able to serve, of all the causes to take up, AIDS, cancer, hunger, poverty, I've always felt there was something special about people who commit themselves to guns. ANyone, I suppose, could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country is getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly, shooting people. The US, this is where men live. Australia? All their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the outback? They get about 15 gun homocides a year? What the he** is that? We get 10,000. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999, for kids between 15 and 19, they didn't have one handgun murder. Not one! We had over 5,000. Our teenagers are tough. But, it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands. And for that, we need committed, good people like all of you. We've got these idiots in Washington who thinks it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles, the stupid Democrats think we should have 10 day waiting periods. What happens when you need to kill somebody *today*? Next thing the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we're talking about the toothless illiterates that make this country great. I mean, this is America. Get a gun.

Did I pass?"

As you can imagine, nobody was amused.

In a room in the courthouse, Stephen, Scott and his brother are having coffee. Lawyer!Brother asks if Harvey is involved with the Holt case. Why yes, he is! Scott wants to talk to his brother (George) in private. Asks him about Marcia, Massage!Woman. Is she a professional? Uh-yuh, she's a call girl. George wanted his brother to have some fun, get some experience with women. Scott is incredibly hurt and leaves.

Act IV

Stephen's office, with Webster's mother and Lauren. Looking at Lauren, Mrs. Henderson is saying that if Webster isn't allowed back in school, it's going to hit the fan big time. Stephen tries to explain the differences of the situations but the woman doesn't want to hear it. She tells Lauren that she's sure she's a nice person, but that she gives different treatment. Stephen tells the mother that Webster's suspension still stands, and she retaliates by saying she's going to the superintendent. Stephen is fine with that. Mrs. Henderson leaves and Lauren can't believe the accusations. Stephen asks her if there's any truth to them. Lauren is stunned by this. He brings up Jason Harrelson (the boy from the first few episodes whom she failed) and apparently another boy whose grade she raised at the last minute. She says that Harrelson answered flippantly on her test, not caring about his grade, but that the other was an honest borderline pass/fail. He wants to know why she didn't ask for any punishment for the boy who hit her with the implant - she says it's because of the sensitivity of the issue. She says he knows her, what the he** is this? He also knows she's one of his best teachers, he wouldn't trade her, but that her test scores are uneven between white and black. Her discipline problems are predominantly with black kids. Her last three hires have been white, and Lipshultz (a world-class bigot) is there only because of her. Stephen says these all might be coincidences, but she interrupts saying he's framing them as accusations. He defends himself saying that that's how the superintendent is going to frame them, that she should think about the answer. She says she has an answer, but that she doesn't want to be accused of showing disrespect for the black principle. She storms out.

Marilyn is talking to Implant!Girl and tries to talk to her about it. She's too young, it's not a good idea to put something foreign into her body. The girl tells Marilyn that her parents are buying them for her birthday. Marilyn wants her to trust her, and tells her to wait. The girl says you only live high school once and after that, what is there?

In the stairwell, the NRA boy tells Senate he had no right to do that. It was a legitimate club and he sabotaged their chances. Harry makes a remark about finding a sponsor at the elementary school, that most of them are pedo-philes, and the kid is pretty angry. Senate walks off.

In court, they are showing the animation of Harvey picking his nose. To make an already long transcript short, the judge rules that Sheryl is in the right and lifts her suspension. He also ascertains that the Mrs. Walsh was denied due process and is allowed to return to school. D'oh!!!

In the dungeon, Lauren is blowing off steam about the charges Stephen brought against her. It's obvious she is hurt. Harry tries to tell her not to get angry. Too late. She says that she doesn't see Stephen throwing *black* kids against lockers. Harry tells her to cool it, they might be in the process of being videotaped. And that's another thing, why can't they throw her out for invading their privacy? If a teacher secretly tapes a student...Her voice breaking, Lauren tells Harry that the whole damn school has seen the video of them, with sound effects. Harry says "Who cares?" Lauren doesn't believe this doesn't bother him at all. He tells her to try to get it, that he's proud to be seen with her. Aww. It's good for their images, too. It shows he can be attracted to a grown-up and she's not a nun. She wants to know if they're exclusive. He wants to know if she wants to be. Yes. Then we are. Stephen comes in saying he's glad that's settled. Lauren storms out again. Stephen tells Harry, for the record, not to sabotage another school club. He asks how Lauren is, and Harry tells him that she's angry. Wants to know why he even questioned her. "Harry, when there's conflict between two people, one of them's white and one of them's black, there's always that question."

Sheryl and Mrs. Walsh return to school amid much gaeity and happiness. High-fives abound.

Guber walks into his office and Marcia is there. He tells her to leave, or else he'll notify the police. She leaves and George (Lawyer!Brother comes in). Scott pretty much blows up, telling his brother that he doesn't know him. Scott tells him that if it had gotten out, it could have ruined his career. We find out that George uses Marcia often, that his wife doesn't know. Scott doesn't want his brother to feel sorry for him. "You don't have the slightest idea what it is to be me. You haven't made the slightest attempt to know who, or what, I am. Get out of this office and I don't ever, ever want to see you again." Stephen couldn't help but overhear and comes in after George leaves. Tells Scott that brothers are hard to come by. Scott tells Stephen not to handle him, that they're cheering Sheryl. He rants on the futility of their jobs if they can't rid themselves of Harvey and Mrs. Walsh, maybe they deserve the derision. How can they not laugh?

In the stairwell, Lauren is sitting quietly. Harry comes to her and tells her she's not a bigot, if she's wondering. She just went through all her test scores, discipline repots, her hiring records. Yeah, she's wondering. He puts his arm around her and assures her that she's not.

Guber is sitting alone in a classroom, Stephen comes in. Guber tells him about a teacher who changed his life, who inspired him. That the students don't look at their teachers with awe anymore. And all Guber feels is betrayed. By the way, did you know that Lauren Davis is dating Harry Senate? Yup.

Fade to black.