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Episode10: "Chapter 14"
Original Air Date: 2.19.01
Summarized by: Kris D.

This episode contains sexual dialogue. Viewer discretion is advised.

Giant snow boots.

Harper's feet. He enters the building and surveys his domain. There's some jammin' music in the background (Which, FYI, something by the Jungle Brothers). Harper finds his office and, through the glass, sees a short man standing with his head in a locker. Harper is comfuzzled and we find that it's *Scott* with his head in a locker. He asks why Scott has his head in locker. Well, it seems Scott had a meeting with six teachers who wanted to gather en masse to hand in their resignations. Scott was on his way to the men's room to splash water on his face when he saw the empty locker - it looked like a safe haven. Steven is flabbergasted about the teachers quitting (in retaliation over Kevin's discharge) and doesn't seem at all surprised about Scott having his head shoved in a locker. (??) Scott lists the teachers who have quit and seems especially sad about McTavish. The teachers are all transferring to another school. Just then Louisa interrupts with a message for Scott - there's a man on the phone from the Boston Pops. Scott's like "Very funny." And Louisa snarks a thank you, but she wasn't making a joke. According to the man on the phone, Scott entered a contest... Scott nearly sprints to his office and has a one-sided conversation. Steven wanders in and asks what that was all about. Apparently Scott entered some kind of contest with his ticket subscription and has won a spot as a guest conductor for the Boston Pops. Stunned, Scott sits down heavily.

Roll Credits

Harvey is in the teacher's lounge preparing a giant cup of coffee. He's acting rather goofy, as goofy as one can act when preparing coffee, but just from looking at him you can tell something's 'not right'. Just then, Jenna The Plot Contrivance HoneyAss walks in with her bestest bud, Tina the Stripper Coach. The two are chitchatting about the beauty of their under aged students and Jenna so eloquently states that one of her students must be "hung like an elephant". Tina and Jenna agree that, for what they get paid, they should be allowed to 'take home a toy'. They giggle and waltz out of the lounge leaving Harvey looking after them disgusted.

Elsewhere, Scott is busy spreading the joy of his Boston Pops win. He's telling Marilyn all about it - she actually couldn't care less but listens anyhow. They take this moment to outline the details of Scott's conducting - he will conduct one piece at a rehearsal. On Thursday. Marilyn tells him it's fantastic and tries to slip away but he snares her again. You see, his conducting experience is limited to the orchestra in his head (!!) and he would like to practice on *her* orchestra. (Re-reading that, it sounds dirty. But whatever) She agrees, and he would be eternally grateful.

Cut to Lauren, who is pretty surprised that Marilyn agreed. Marilyn doesn't understand. "That's how it started with me and Guber." Lauren starts. Marilyn actually asks "What?" (and you wonder where she's been for the past 13 weeks) so Lauren spells it out for the slow kids. "His infatuation. I was nice to the guy and he misinterpreted it as...I'm *serious*. The man does not know how to handle a woman being nice to him. He mistakes kindness for desire." Marilyn believes she is Guber Repellent enough and tells Lauren that the Gube *won't* think she desires him. Lauren shrugs, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Marla and Steven are walking up the stairs at that moment and Steven is trying to assign Marla to a calculus classroom. The six teachers who quit have apparently caused a 'shortage' and they're doing some reorganization with their teachers, trying to get everyone to take over some of the teacher-less rooms. Marla does *not* want a calculus classroom because she knows nothing about it. She wants to cover for a class that doesn't deal with numbers. (Note: she is taking over McTavish's class. Now I know why Steven and Scott were so sad that McTavish left. He/she was the only math teacher within a hundred mile radius of Winslow) Anyhow, Steven orders her off to the class and Harry chooses that moment to ask for Steven's attention.

"Raymond Nunn", Harry says. Not again, replies Harper. Harry argues that Raymond is a good teacher and Steven wants to know why, if he's so good, he's perpetually unemployed. "Well..." That's what Steven was afraid of. Harvey slips out of a door and stands in front of the two men. "Steven, I resign" he says. Why? "I'm a fossil?" Harry wants to know if he's just figuring that out. This gets Steven's attention and, before Steven can chastise him, Harry brings up Raymond again. "Can you just interview him?" Steven finally relents, saying that Scott will interview him today. This is Very Good, because apparently Raymond is ALREADY at Winslow. Sneaky Pete. Harry wanders off and Steven turns back to Harvey. Harvey asks, "What do you want with me?" Steven's like "You just resigned." I did? Why? Steven shakes his head and walks away. "Why would I resign? It'll come to me."

As Steven walks the halls we hear Beethoven's 5th symphony. He walks up to Scott's office and looks through the glass, to find Scott enthusiastically conducting an imaginary orchestra. Steven knocks on the door and Scott jumps about 4 feet into the air. As Steven enters the room, Scott shuts off the boom box and whirls to face Steven. Steven is worried that they've lost the students and the teachers by firing Kevin Riley. Scott tries to comfort him by saying "It was only six." But Steven isn't talking about the ones who quit - have they lost them? Scott's reply? "We'll get them back."

Down in the dungeon, Harry is preparing his weird little friend, Raymond, for his interview with Guber. And I do stress "weird". The guy is a furry little gnome who I cannot BELIEVE is a teacher. I mean, Jenna was asking for suspension of disbelief. This is...insane. Anyhoo. They're still chatting when Lauren comes in, all smiles. Harry has a brief moment of "Dear God, safe me" flash across his face but it's too late to stop the train wreck. Lauren's already introducing herself to Raymond and telling him she understands he's going to be applying to work there. Not so much, according to Raymond. "Harry wants me to interview but I don't think I could cut it at this place." Lauren is still grinning like a mad fool and she sits on Harry's desk and watches the two boys argue about Raymond working there. Harry maintains that Raymond is an idiot for turning down the interview and Raymond wants to know if he can have an opinion. Lauren watches joyously. Raymond gathers up his jacket and turns to Lauren. "It was nice to meet you...Laurie, was it?" Lauren's happy smile melts like cotton candy in a rainstorm and Harry looks completely busted. When the door snicks shut behind Raymond, it's on. "This is you fun drinking buddy? The one you went to New York with over New Year's." Yeah. He's crazy. He's a good guy though. "He's never heard my name before." He has; actually, he just doesn't remember half the things I tell him. Lauren looks at him with mock-understanding then...her whole countenance shifts. She does an eyebrow thing that says everything - he blew it. No weasel popping for a month. Nuh uh. "Well. Anyway. I just came by to say hi." Which everybody knows is *not* just why she came down those stairs. I suspect a spit swap was on order but...what do I know, right? Harry says "Hiiiiii" in a totally busted tone. Lauren hits the door, turns and gives him a wonderfully catty smile and says "Hi." Just one more time. The door falls shut behind her and reveals Harry, looking *so* whipped...

Act II

Steven and Scott are doing a mad rush through the halls arguing about where to place teachers. They're asking us to believe that Kevin was a physics teacher on top of being a gym coach, a wrestling coach and a football coach but WTF ever. I guess Steven wants Scott to carry it for a while but Scott has to *practice*. "With all do respect to the Boston Pops, we have a teacher shortage. Or haven't you noticed?" At this point, a group of kids walk up and want to address the teacher shortage themselves. They have a proposal to help - they want Lisa Greer to teach their fourth period lit class. Stunned all around, Steven tells them that Lisa is about to be transferred. And that's their proposal, that she not be transferred and teach the class instead. Steven wants to know why they think he would *ever* go for that. Well, here's the big bomb. She's been teaching it since thanksgiving. Their teacher walked out and left Lisa in charge. Which didn't bother the students any because the guy always came to class drunk. There's actually a rumor going around the he's dead. The kids think Lisa is a great teacher and want Harper to check her out. Harp and Scott exchange Meaningful Eye Contact.

Meanwhile, Lauren is really upset over the fact that Raymond didn't know her name, and she explains that to Marilyn.

M: Guys don't always talk about their girlfriends with their buddies. L: My name. M: Maybe he just talks so much about the sex-- L: Very funny. M: --he forgot. L: Why haven't I met him, by the way, if they're such good friends..? M: Guys compartmentalize their lives. Sometimes... L: My *name*.

It is then that we hear some music and singing coming from down the hall. The two follow the sound and find Marla in a classroom singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" with the class. Complete with arm movements and backup, she's jamming. Marilyn and Lauren watch for a while before speeding off down the hall. Lauren comments that Marla is Gladys Knight and Guber is Arthur Fiedler...and speaking of Guber, Marilyn is reminded that she has to give him his lesson. Lauren wants to know if he has asked her out yet. He's not going to ask her out, Marilyn thinks. "The man will ask you OUT. Just wait."

Harvey wants to talk to Scott - it's not his nature to ever report on another teacher but he couldn't contain himself. He wants to tattle on Jenna Miller - he thinks she's having a sexual affair with a student. Guber doesn't want to deal with this but asks Harvey to explain. "I heard her talking to Tina Knowles. She said a new kid in the class, 17 years old, with a penis the size of a sequoia tree. I thought nothing about it but then I began to wonder...how could she know that he had a tree-like penis unless she saw it. And what reason has she got to see it unless she's carrying on with it." Scott wants to know if Harry is *positive* about this, and he says he is. He remembers this was why he wanted to quit - he couldn't hear himself think in that lounge, above the din of inequity.

Lisa Greer is in her classroom where, magically, all the students are interested in the subject matter and want to answer questions. Of course, they're all informally situated and everyone is so buddy-buddy. Steven comes in while the class discusses King Lear and have lively, good-natured debate about it. He asks to see Lisa in his office when she gets a chance and she agrees. Some kid makes a random comment of Harper being King Lear and he gives the class a threatening glare from the doorway. Oh, dear.

Scott runs down the stairs to find Steven and says "We've got a problem". These are dangerous words at Winslow, if you know what I mean, and Steven's like "Now what?" Scott relates the story about Harvey and Jenna Miller and Jenna's description of a student's genitalia in a lascivious manner. According to Scott, Jenna is a nasty little thing who flaunts her sexuality. (Well, then, I suppose Scott won't be asking *her* out.) Steven doesn't really believe that Jenna would do anything so bad and he wants to see Harvey and Jenna in his office. Steven wants Scott to be there, too, but Scott has *rehearsal*, you see? Steven starts to come down on him about this when Scott warns him. "Don't make me choose between the Boston Pops and Winslow High. You would be surprised by my decision." Steven wants to know if Scott is going to quit on him, too, but Scott just wants Steven to realize how important this is to him. He goes off to get Harvey and Jenna.

Just then, Harry's bright, shiny face shows up to give Harper the good news about Raymond - he doesn't want the job. "I thought he needed a job!" He does, he just doesn't want this one. "May I ask why?" Harry decides to run full throttle over Steven's day and says "You know that reputation you have for standing behind your teachers? You don't really have that anymore." This stuns Steven but when he calls "Hey!" after Harry, it is only to ask Harry to come with him to the house of the possibly-dead drunk lit teacher who has been missing since thanksgiving. Why? Because he doesn't want to do it alone and Scott has band practice.

Scott is directing the school's orchestra and Marilyn is giving him pointers on how to hold his arms and stuff. He starts doing well and then has this big arm movement that Marilyn doesn't understand. Neither does the orchestra, I guess, because he stops the song. The cymbal kid (you know, the one who can't play any other instrument) didn't come in when he was supposed to...but the kid says he isn't supposed to come in. Well, now we find that Guber is rewriting Beethoven's fifth to include a cymbal crash. Oh, dear. The orchestra kinda laughs at this and Scott yells at them. He raises his arms and I guess they're off again.

Jenna and Harvey are in with Steven and Jenna is very flabbergasted by the insinuation that she might be boinking a student. Whatever. Steven wants to know what Harvey heard, exactly. "She was talking about a new student and how his penis was like a beanstalk and how she liked to climb it." ROFLOL! Only, Jenna is not so amused. "Wait, wait...no no. Excuse me. It was a sycamore. That's what you said, Jenna, you had a student with a penis as big as a sycamore." Is that what she said, Steven asks. It most certainly isn't. The then recaps the whole thing, including the 'hung like an elephant' part and claims it was silly girl talk. She never touched the kid. In his own world Harvey's like "An elephant. I knew it was something with a trunk." Steven dismissing Jenna and as she's leaving Louisa comes in with more good news. Kids in McTavish's calculus class are complaining about Marla. She's making them sing and saying that she's Gladys Knight and they're all Pips.

Round 2, Davis and Senate. Ding Ding! H: It's not that big a deal! L: To you evidently not, but to me... H: Lauren... L: He's one of your better friends. I happen to be sleeping with you. H: It's called discretion. L: Please. H: Raymond has a big mouth! L: What were you afraid of? H: It's not like I'm keeping you in a closet. L: No, you're just keeping me a secret. H: OK, do we not go out to restaurants together or what? L: Oh great. What? So you'll be seen eating FOOD with me? H: What is your problem? L: My problem is if we are serious, if I am a person in your life, then how can one of your best friends not know about it. H: It just never came up. L: (stunned, crosses her arms and drops her voice just a shade above 'really hurt') That was a hall of fame lousy answer. H: I don't talk about my life. I just don't. I don't even tell you everything. L: What haven't you told me? (Quietly)

As you can imagine, they go on for a while. It ends with a fairly powerful exchange when Lauren asks why he hasn't told Raymond about her and Harry yells, "Because I'm not sleeping with Raymond! You're my girlfriend." Looking so hurt it makes me want to cry, Lauren says "Yeah. It just doesn't come up." Busted.

Act III

In the lounge, Marilyn asks the burning question. "Why are you with Harry Senate, Lauren?" Instead of stunning us with a deep revelation that she might be :::gasp::: in love with him, she says "Why wouldn't I be?" Marilyn begins by saying "I like Harry but..." and then describes him as dark, brooding and self-destructive. Lauren tries to look mildly offended but it's hard because Marilyn's mostly right. And then Marilyn realizes that Lauren has no idea what kind of 'demons' Harry has. Lauren looks momentarily wounded but Scott chooses this moment to dash into the room with a snapped baton. "I broke my stick." And the earth still rotates, according to Marilyn. :::snort::: But how can he conduct the Pops with a foreign stick?? That's the $64,000 question, you know.

At this moment in time, Harry and Steven are at Bernie Willis's house, the Possibly-Dead Fire Hazard teacher. Harry *really* doesn't want to go into the house but Steven drags him along anyhow. Once inside, the place apparently reeks. It's a dump and there's a TV on in another room. They find Possibly-Dead Bernie as he stares, unseeing, at the television. They kinda argue over who should 'check' him and Steven loses. Both Harry and Steven assume he's dead, though it's obvious he's still breathing. Anyhow, the two wax philosophical over the lot of teachers while standing over Not Dead Bernie and Steven leans in close breathing "Bernie..." when the NotDead corpse turns to look at him and says "What?" Steven jumps back and Harry dives behind Steven. It's all very comedic. Anyhoo, Steven wants to know why Bernie abandoned his class and Bernie thinks he was just getting in the way, that Lisa knows Shakespeare better than he did. Steven demands to know why Bernie didn't even bother to check in...and Bernie's like "How you checked on me?" Score one for the Fire Hazard.

Scott is all tickled that Marilyn has aNOTHER stick. It's in a pretty engraved box and everything. She maintains that the stick (baton!) is graphite so it won't break. Scott is very thankful. He tests out the stick and Marilyn is amused. She feels he's taking this rather seriously and he admits that it is...the Boston Pops will be in *his* charge. Marilyn really lights his candle, then, by telling him that the orchestra probably won't even be paying attention to him. He has chosen a song they've played hundreds of times (Beethoven's 5th) and he might as well have them play the 1812 Overture and set off firecrackers. Way to be sympathetic. Oy. Anyhoo, he gets around to *asking her out* to the New York Philharmonic and she declines using the old standby "People might think we're dating". Ouch.

Steven is not pleased with Gladys Knight. Marla maintains that she doesn't *do* math, but she does Gladys. She claims the song has math in it...12 is an important number. A dozen donuts. 12 apostles. Blah blah. It comes down to the fact that she feels off-balance in the math department. And when she feels off-balance, she doesn't do well. She's psychologically 'off' and Steven finally gets it. She's struggling to keep things together and he agrees to get her back to history as soon as possible.

Lauren wanders into Marilyn's class with a guilty conscience - she just punished her class and even called one kid an 'idiot'. She's wigging out 'cause of Harry and knows she should just punish Harry, but she doesn't really think he did anything wrong. At this point, she realizes Marilyn isn't listening to her. Marilyn reveals that Guber asked her out and Lauren laughs. Marilyn says it's not funny and Lauren tries to sober, but it's no use. Lauren wants to know what Marilyn said..."Well I didn't say yes. Like YOU did." Did she hurt his feelings? "YES! And that's another thing. He just holds his feelings out there to be snapped like one of his sticks." Marilyn says this is the good thing about the Harry Senates of the world. No matter how wrong they are they keep the Gubers away. Lauren warns her that it's not over. "Next comes the heartfelt apology. That's almost worse."

Steven is interrogating Lisa Grier about what happened with Fire Marshall Bernie. She explains and even gets to snark about him not knowing about the fact that the class she teaches is a two-semester course. Anyhow, he wants to know if she wants to be transferred...she thinks she'll be all right...and then makes the executive decision to keep her teaching the class. Whoo. Bernie's not the only one who's ass is now a fire hazard...and as Lisa leaves, Louisa makes sure to tell him that. He's being irresponsible, he's making a mistake...you know, the usual. Rock on Louisa.

Steven then saunters downstairs to talk to Harry about Raymond not wanting a job. Harry is straight with him - Steven used to be the reason folks came to Winslow but now, instead of backing his teachers, he gives special treatment to his friends. It may not be fair, but that's his current reputation. "And now the name-player's Guber. Hold back the rush." Steven asks Harry to try and change Raymond's mind and Harry agrees. Before he leaves, Steven mentions the fact that Harry and Lauren are fighting. Steven asks if Harry loves her, and Harry maintains that it's private, that he's a private person. "That's why your buddy's never heard of the woman you love? Because you're private?" Harry looks mildly defeated then Steven walks out, reminding him to talk to Raymond. But wait! There's another parting shot! "Harry, does Lauren know about your dad?" No answer. The plot thickens...

Act IV

Scott catches Marilyn in the hallway and though she tries to run, he catches her. The man is quick, what can I say? He wants to apologize for the day before - he *was* asking her out on a date. He's mortified and didn't think of the position he was putting her into. She accepts his apology and asks about symphony hall. He's leaving shortly and has taken her advice and changed the song he's conducting - he's going to have them perform Dvorak's 9th symphony, the 4th movement. By Marilyn's reaction, this isn't a wise choice. She tries to talk him into doing Beethoven again and he gets all offended like, realizing she doesn't think he can do it. She then tells him to go for it and as he walks away, she shakes her head sadly.

Meanwhile, Lauren's chasing Steven around like a Chihuahua chasing a bulldog, asking him if he's lost his mind. He wants to know why that question keeps popping up and, duh, it's 'cause he's letting Lisa Grier teach a class and that's exactly what Lauren has a problem with. She asks to see him in private..."This is beyond irresponsible. Forget what the parents might think, what about the teachers?" She believes that insults the teachers who are staying - that it's offensive. He tells her that running a school takes a lot of things - he's escaping a lawsuit by letting Lisa teach. He says the situation is better than he found it and most times, that's the best he can hope for. Then, to add insult to injury, he tells her if she wants his job, she can go to the superintendent...she'll probably get it. Lauren looks all chastised and as Steven's leaving, he imparts a parting request - "And work things out with Harry, would you? I don't need this."

He then heads down the halls. Passing a classroom, he hears a low singing. Marla is leaning against a file cabinet, singing some random song. She doesn't look well - stressed and on the edge of sanity. She claims she was checking to see if there were any Broadway musicals on Calculus. She claims se wishes she could make him understand - she has no footing and it's upsetting her and making her nuts. She stops him on his way out and asks him if he would have dinner with her one night. Not a date, she says, but just a nice meal between friends. He consents and then she stops him once more. "Don't listen to that crap, Steven. Kevin lied to you. He had to go."

Scott is sitting alone in the audience of symphony hall. Steven walks in and takes a seat next to him. Herein lies Scott's profound speech of the episode - he wishes he hadn't won and at Steven's comfuzzled "why?" he says "Up there...that's a dream. And this experience will only make conspicuous how my life is utterly without song." Aww. So sad. Not. Anyhoo, it's Steven's turn to be profound "Scott, how many people do you know that can live their dreams, even if it's only for one night?" Then the Boston Pops starts filing in and Scott watches, utterly frightened.

In the lounge, Lauren finds Harry. Jenna, who is sitting quietly (for once!), realizes they are about to have a Deep Discussion and gets up and stalks out. Lauren tells him she can respect that he doesn't like to share his life, but it hurt that his friend didn't know his name. And she says she doesn't really feel "in" his life, which she can manage to respect but she won't tolerate it for too long. "I have no intention of growing old alone. And to be honest, I'm beginning to fear that's what would happen if I spent my life with you." Harry stuns the masses (not!!) with a voice-breaking admission..."My father's in prison. That's sharing?" Lauren was not ready for this and can only say "Yeah" and nod encouragingly to Harry.

Guber is getting ready for his concert - getting dressed like a penguin and all. He's very nervous. VERY nervous.

Out in the auditorium, the orchestra is warming up. Marilyn, dressed all in red leather, walks up and sits next to Steven. She asks about Scott, who's off getting dressed, then asks if he's still planning on doing Dvorak. Steven's like "I don't know what that is, Marilyn!" LOL! Then out comes Scott and it starts.

This last part cannot be described in words, because as editing and cinematography go, it was pretty spectacular. The Boston Pops plays the uberemotional 4 th movement of Dvorak's ninth symphony. Guber ecstatically conducts with fast cuts to him and the symphony. Scott does perfectly and gets a standing ovation from the Pops and the audience of two (Marilyn and Steven). He seems very pleased with himself...his dream has been realized.

Fade to black.