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Episode 1:
"Chapter 1"
Original Air Date:
10.23.00
Summarized By: Kris D.
Boston Public
Gangsta music plays over a shot of a busy high school. Lauren Davis is in Principal Harper's office. Apparently, a father of a student is quite angry about the fact that his son failed a test. Father claims that his son failed because Lauren didn't like his answers. She explains that it was an American History test, and that the answers aren't subjective. "Jason", the son, answered that Lincoln invented the log. (ELG snickers) Harper comes in and Dad complains to him that Lauren gave her son an F in the class. Apparently, this F will keep Jason from playing on Friday. And if he doesn't play on Friday, the scouts won't see him. And if the scouts don't see him, he won't get into college. Steven wants to know why Jason can't play Friday. He's failing, not one, but two classes. Friday's game is a big one - it's against Norwood. Ruh-roh! Jason's father will take this to court if he has to, and don't you patronize him! He's not a tree trunk. (???) "The school fully supports Miss Davis' decision." Mr. Harrelson leaves.
Louisa sticks her head in the door, bearing joyous news. Lipschultz wants to send Dana Poole home for not wearing a bra.
"It's obscene!" Harvey tells Harper, Lauren, and Dana. It's not obscene, he just has a problem with the female body. "Look at those breasts!" Not a problem, Harvey, they'll put your eye out if you get too close. Steven sends Lauren and Dana down the hall, so he can converse personally with Harvey. "You cannot do this in an open forum, Harvey."
As Dana and Lauren walk away, Dana expounds on the virtues of individualism. Lauren wants to know if this is to be popular with the boys. No, it's because she likes dressing this way. Changing the subject oh-so-blithely she asks "Are you, like, a nun on weekends?" Lauren's witty retort? "I'm not a nun!" Harper joins the tete-a-tete and Lauren says "She called me a nun!" Apparently Harper doesn't care, he just wants Dana to know that she's gotta wear a bra. "I'm the Principal, I can and I am. If your parents have a problem, they can come see me." As they walk away, Lauren tells Steven that this could get him in trouble. Where do you draw the line on bras? All he knows, right now it is school policy for Dana Poole to wear a bra.
:::knock knock knock::: On a locker. Harper and Lauren hear and open the locker. A skinny boy is shoved inside, wearing a diaper. He beats a quick retreat while Lauren and Steven watch, shocked.
Act I
More Gangsta Rap! And an out of control classroom getting jiggy with it. Boom boxes, tossing the globe, dancing with toilet paper hats. You down with that? Anyhoo, VP Guber apparently isn't. He RUNS to the classroom. When the kids see him, they scatter like roaches to their desks. Where's Miss Hendricks? They think she's dead, Sir. Why? Because the board reads "GONE TO KILL MYSELF, HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!"
Steven and Guber are rushing through the halls. What do you mean she quit? Her class was unattended, she's not here. I guess she went off her medication again. Guber also got a call from Jason Harrelson's father, who is raging against the football suspension. And Dana Poole's mother isn't happy about the brassiere mandate, either. Milton Buttle interrupts, with his laptop. He wants to talk to Steven in private. Steven tells Guber to put Harry Senate on dungeon duty, set up a meeting with Harrelson's lawyer, stall him. Yadda Yadda.
Buttle wants to complain about Sheryl Holt's website, which is apparently some kind of underground student newspaper. Milton wants it shut down for its newest addition (an animation that shows him diving into a horse's butt), but Steven claims they can't do anything about it. There is a lot of arguing, but they're talking over each other. Hard to make out. It ends with Steven saying "Forget about it." D'oh!
In the office, Lauren is making photocopies and talking to Guber about Jason's family suing. "Is he suing for a better grade or challenging school policy?" Who knows, but since she's one of the teachers failing him...Lauren heads out of the office but Scott chases her down. On another note, did she enjoy the bridge game on Wednesday? Yeah, as a matter of fact, she did. He says she was a natural and great company. By the way, he has tickets to the New York Philharmonic Saturday, would she like to join him? Lauren is speechless. Has she ever seen them? Noooo. They're the most disciplined orchestra in the world.
Cut to Lauren storming the teacher's lounge. You won't believe what just happened! She just got asked out on a date by Guber! And she accepted? Lauren says she had no choice, he said "You must, you'll be in for a treat." Milton is standing by the door and laughs and Lauren's predicament. "You're going on a date with Guber?" At that moment, Guber walks in. "Fabulous!"
Guber has eyes only for Harry Senate, however, and tells him that he's going to take over Marla Hendricks's class. The dungeon? Harry wants to know. No way, they're animals. Scott just stands over him looking smug while Harry whines his way out of it. Lauren, who is trying her damndest to be invisible, is sitting at the table across from Marilyn. Guber turns to her and smiles. (ELG disagrees. He leers at her. :::shrugging::: Whatever.) As he walks out, Lauren grins and says "Did you SEE that? Now he's smiling at me." She gets up and heads for coffee, when Coach Kevin comes in snarking at Lauren. Boohoo, he's going to have to play NORWOOD without his star player and it's all Lauren's fault. She knew he was already failing geology and she knew the consequences of her actions. (???) Buttle butts in with a good point - She should pass him so he can play? Kevin wants to know, shouldn't Milton be trying out for the all-around equestrian team? Kevin then gets in a mini-argument about semantics regarding the difference between bands and orchestras with before he storms out saying "Fine, I'll just be the coach who's not a dead guy." Ooookay. Thanks again, Lauren.
Coach Kevin, apparently still full of fire and needing someone to lambast, comes across the kid who was found in the locker. It's none of his business, Kevin says, but if someone puts you in a huggie, you should stand up for yourself. (ELG - sage advice for anyone to follow) Steven intercedes and asks the boy, Anthony, who put him in the locker. The kid doesn't want to tell, because the guy who put him in the locker will break his head if he tells. That wouldn't be good. The kid looks past Steven and then turns tail and runs. Steven looks behind him and sees a Hulking Kid lurking in the hallway. Dumdumdumduuuuum. Marla Hendricks come whipping around the corner at that moment. Playing hookey? Don't be hookey-ing me. There is more arguing over each other. But Marla has had it. They don't want to learn, or listen. She's not a parole officer, she's a teacher. She walks out screaming "I've had it!" while Steven checks his watch. It's 10:15.
Act II
Milton is talking with Dana Poole and a group of girls. Dana wants him to know - that horse thing? That's not what the students think of him. He appreciates that. Dana then decides to vamp it up, because she says "In fact, most of the girls find you incredibly sexy." She goes on with the charade, even going as far as to say that sometimes, when she goes to bed at night, she thinks of him and touches herself. The girls in the group giggle and with a haughty swish of her hair, Dana walks away.
Right into Harry Senate. "You think that's funny?" He wants Dana to try something new and act like a grown-up. Gee, but that might take some of the fun out of things for him. Oh, by the way, she hears that the kids in the dungeon are looking forward to his return.
Coach Kevin (The Guy Who's Not A Dead Guy) leaves an office and sees Anthony (Diaper!Boy) being shoved up against a locker by Big Hulking Lurker from before. He breaks it up and asks what this is all about. Just a misunderstanding. Anthony sneaks away while Kevin asks if White (Hulking guy) is such a tough guy, maybe he should come play football. Any more of this crap, and White goes to Guber.
In a room with entirely too much foot traffic, Scott, Steven, Lauren, a lawyer and the Harrelson family are discussing the football suspension. They want to get through the proceedings without acrimony. That, however, doesn't happen. Snark, snark, snark, The Man Who Is Not A Tree Trunk (Mr. Harrelson) doesn't like dealing with these people, Scott wants to do what's best for the school, and Lauren is quiet. Since we seem to be embracing acrimony, the bottom line is that they're prepared to go to court and say that the grading system itself is capricious. Apparently during a teaching conference Steven said something to the effect of "This grading system sucks, but we'll deal with it." Steven notes that whether or not he agrees with grades, that's the not point. It's the policy of the school they're discussing. But is it the policy to keep Jason out of college? Because that's what they're doing. "Mr. Harrelson. We do not help kids one by one, here. Too many of them, too few of us. We serve masses, hoping more of them make it than don't. And our best results, like it or not, come with policy. By the way, there could be two or three of Jason's teammates in study hall right now, busting their humps because they don't want to miss the next game. I like that." Steven leaves, calling Scott behind him.
How did the lawyer know what was said in that conference, Steven asks. Coach Kevin, of course. Steven wants to see him.
In his classroom, Harvey is talking about Madison. Madison was a midget who stood 5 feet 2, soaking wet. His speech is disjointed and crazy, and a student, Mr. Jackson, adds $.02 every once in a while. This is Not Good and the two go back and forth about how the books suck. Yadda yadda. Harvey ends up telling the kid that it's his (Harvey's) job to get the kid's black @ss into college. Harvey ends up scaring the kid, telling him that if he fails American History he'll be sitting here next year, "and you'll have to listen all over again, to what my shriveled white jewish a$$ has to say."
Lauren wants to know if Harvey has lost his mind. Harvey just says he has to keep control of his room. He blames everything on the desegs. (That's Not Good) Lauren tells him to sit, but he doesn't want to be lectured to. "I am head of the social studies department, I ask you to sit..." He has been acting more and more erratic lately, ever since Helen died. You can't be blaming everything on a dead wife. She claims that there are a lot of people here who think he's out of step - she can protect him but not when he acts like a psycho. He argues with her a bit, but she tell him "Don't take advantage of my adoring you. I will do what's best with the school."
In the hallway, Harry sees Marla and is pretty excited that she's "back"? Marla is touchy and asks him if he's making a mental joke. "What? Do you think I'm a cracker?" Harry loves crackers, OK?, and the best ones are meant to crumble. He *really* wants her to take back her classes in the dungeon. She's not going back - it's his problem now.
Guber runs into Malcolm White in the hallway and confronts him about the "disturbance" with Anthony Ward. Guber tells him to back off the fighting, and Malcolm makes the mistake of looking away from Guber. Guber tells him "You will continue looking at me until further notice." The camera backs off them in a staring contest.
Lauren flags down Sheryl Holt - Sheryl really hurt Buttle's feelings with the whole horse's a$$ thing. Sheryl is miffed - she did 6 pages on the upcoming election, 2 pages on the supreme court and 1 page on human rights and all anyone wants to talk about is Milton's animation. Lauren condescendingly (sorry, Lauren, I love you but you stepped in it on this one) asks if maybe Sheryl should get another hobby, other than this "web thing". Sheryl says maybe she'll join the Gwenyth club, which includes a bunch of blonde girls dressed like Gwenyth Paltrow. Haha - Lauren laughs. That's not what she meant. Sheryl says she has 90 students working for her - she's already more successful than you. Sheryl, proving she does have some kind of a heart, honestly apologizes. Marilyn shows up and pulls Lauren away - they have parent conferences. Sheryl congratulates Marilyn - she came in first in the poll. What poll? Which teacher the male students want to sleep with most. Miss Davis came in 7th. 7th? The girls think she's a nun - the boys..7th. Coming around the corner they see Guber and Malcolm still staring at each other. Marilyn says "At least you're first on his list." Lauren Is Not Amused and scrunches up her face.
Harry walks into his classroom like one heading into his death. The class is being obnoxious, talking and laughing. He tries to get their attention to no avail. He casually pulls off his jacket, revealing a gun in a hip holster. The class quiets immediately while he hangs up his jacket. What's up? Everybody got really quiet. What's the deal? It's not the gun, is it? They respect the gun, because it can kill them. "You respect it. And we like seeing people get popped, don't we? My favorite movie? The Godfather? Even the good guys go around shooting each other in the head. Same thing with the Sopranos - 'Hey, Tony?' 'Yeah?' POP. It's entertainment, it brings up pleasure. Even the word GUN. That's got a very good sound to it..." He then makes them yell the word "GUN". In the middle of their tirade, he fires the gun into the wall. Everyone hits the deck. "Aren't these things great? You can use them to kill a fellow classmate. You can even shoot a teacher. You guys reall know what to respect. I want you to stay on the ground until I tell you to get up."
Act III
Guber fights off a mass of parents who are ticked off about Harry's gun shenanigans. Blah Blah Blah. Steven comes out and says Harry was bad, not condoned by the school, and he will be dealt with. They want to know what will happen, but he refuses to answer.
Guber comes down to the dungeon to talk to Harry, who is sitting there waiting. He tells Harry how stupid he was to fire a gun in the classroom - that his point was lost. Guber tells Harry that this was the most grossly irresponsible act committed by any teacher under his regime. He's not going to be fired now, but he's on thin ice. "For someone who professes to love teaching, you seem to have a career death wish. I don't know what's stopping me from seeing that wish come true."
Lauren is walking with Sheryl Holt, telling her she can't print that story. Apparently, Sheryl heard it through the grapevine that, caught unawares, Lauren agreed to a date with Guber only to regret it. I think the phrase is "sooner face a root canal". Lauren claims that it's their personal lives, that she can't print that story. Sheryl claims it's "news" and walks away.
Coach Kevin is talking to Principal Harper. Harper wants to know if Kevin told the Harrelson's or their lawyers what went on in a closed teacher's conference. Kevin doesn't deny it and Harper tells him that the meetings are sealed. Kevin tries to defend himself but Harper cuts him off. Those meetings are built on candor and trust, and Kevin broke that trust. Kevin understands that, but he also understands that the school committee doesn't think about injuries or academics when they evaluate him as a coach. They look at wins and losses, and if he doesn't win against Norwood he's out "like the fat boy in dodge ball." Kevin claims that if he wins, no one will care if he broke a few rules. But Harper will care, and that's all he needs to worry about. Louisa comes in and tells Steven that Anthony Ward is in the emergency room.
In the ER, Anthony's parents want to know who beat up Anthony. Harper tries to find out, but the kid won't tell. The doctor asks if they can do this later, he's trying to stitch a gash across Anthony's forehead. "Anthony, the worst has happened. He broke your head."
Harper is on the war path and hunts down Malcolm White. He tries to get the story out of them, but when Malcolm says "It happened off school grounds, it's none of your business.", Harper loses it. He shoves Malcolm against the locker and tells him to take a swing. Lauren runs out of her classroom and stops him.
Coming down the stairs, Harry is stopped by Dana Poole. She wants him to change Jason Harrelson's grade. She tells Harry that if he doesn't pass Jason, then their "little secret" might get out. Harry reminds her that their "little secret" can hurt her, too. But she knows that it will ruin her more than him. She walks away, leaving Harry to stare.
Lauren enters her classroom to find Jason Harrelson waiting for her. He wants her to up him to a D, but she says no. She says that he didn't even try to pass that test - she knows he knows who Lincoln is. He was daring her to fail him. He claims that he didn't want her to think he was stupid - he knew he wasn't going to pass the test. So he made it look like he wanted to fail on purpose - that he was defiant. He goes on about how he's nothing until someone passes him the ball - she says that must be the problem - football isn't everything. And it's a lesson he should probably learn *now*. He begs her, practically, and she shakes her head no.
Act IV
Guber and Steven look at Sheryl Holt's website, which has an animation of Steven turning into a gorilla and slamming Malcolm White into a locker. Guber says they might could shut it down because it's racist. It's not racist, Steven says, it's because he did turn into a gorilla. Steven leaves and Guber finds the next animation - which shows him asking Lauren on a date, and then her puking on him. "Caught off guard, she agreed to the date, only to now dread going out with him." Terrified that someone saw him, he quickly closes the laptop.
Marilyn and Lauren are walking down the hall. Lauren thinks that Jason *should* play, because if their job is to herd them off to college then this is his chance. They pass Lipshultz's classroom, where the class is singing the national anthem. They roll their eyes. As they continue walking, Marilyn says that their job isn't just to herd them off to college. It's what the parents want. "Lauren, we hate the parents." She trails off as we see someone has spraypainted "B!tch" across Lauren's blackboard. Nice. Lauren turns to see Mr. Harrelson sitting in her classroom. Did he write that? Nope, does she think he's the only one upset about Jason not playing? Lauren asks Marilyn to leave so she can talk with Mr. Harrelson. He claims that the school system failed him, because they kept him promoting him despite his bad grades. He doesn't disagree with her message, but he does disagree with her timing. "As I might take issue with yours." He doesn't deny his failures, but today it's the teachers who are holding him back. He leaves and Guber comes to the door. Lauren asks for a custodian, but they've all been assigned to the stadium. Big game tonight. Really? Lauren heads down the hall and Scott follows her. He says he feels a cold coming on, wants to cancel the date. Lauren agrees. She probably should have left it at that, but she asks him if he has seen SHeryl Holt's website. No, he claims. Well, she understands it has some stuff on their date - it's all nonsense. He claims he doesn't believe Sheryl Holt anyhow, her credibility is questionable. He has a cold coming on, that's all.
Marla is in Steven's office. All her life, all she ever wanted to be is a teacher. Now, all she sees is this big tide that keeps coming anc coming and coming. It's fixed. She stopped taking her medication. "Those peach little pills? Sanity in a bottle." Steven basically lets her know that if she doesn't take her pills, she won't have a job. She says she can't *feel* when she's on her meds. And what good is a teacher who can't feel? He puts her on leave, tries to get her some pay, but if she doesn't get help, she will be terminated. She gets up to leave, saying "I can't feel."
Louisa tells Steven that he has an appointment to meet with the Superintendant on Monday. She knows about Senate and the gun, and all the other bad stuff that has happened. Also, Jason Harrelson has been cleared to play in the game - Harry gave him a D.
"I reviewed all the kids work, he deserves the D." Harry was just trying to shock him with an F. Steven wants to know if Harry has money on the game. No, he just deserves a D. We find out that Steven gave Guber the green light to terminate Harry over the gun thing. Why didn't Steven fire him? Because they're friends and Harry's one of their best teachers. None of that will matter, though, next time. Harry heads up the stairs when Dana Poole materializes and thanks him. "I did nothing for you." She's hurt. "Listen, Dana, my job? I take it very seriously. Don't screw with me." She tells him if he took his job so seriously, maybe he shouldn't have screwed with her. She apologizes for that one, and claims that she just wanted to help Jason and not hurt Harry. Yadda yadda. Then she asks if Harry is going to the game. With sarcasm dripping like fresh honey, Harry says "Uh, yeah. Let's you and I sit together."
Steven is in his office when Anthony Ward storms in. Steven didn't do him any favors, Malcolm thinks Anthony ratted. To help, Steven shows Anthony a move to subdue Malcolm next time Malcolm messes with him. He tells Anthony to go find a friend and beat it. Lauren walks up, dressed casually, and tells him that it's nice of him to teach a kid how to break another kid's arm. Steven says he's just trying to help him protect himself. She brings up the meeting with the superintendent. ""I suppose she gotta spank me." We find that the Superintendant doesn't like him and is looking for ammunition to get him. As a friend, she wants him to know that he crossed the line. He knows. She's dressed for the game, he sees. Nope, she dressed for custodial work. Is he going? It's against Norwood, is all the answer he gives. He's going. <g> "Hey, we made it through another week. Nobody OD'd, nobody got shot. And, none of us lost our minds." They high five and Steven walks out.
Guber puts in a CD, which begins a montage set to music. (Incidentally, it is Mascagni's Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rustica) We see the football game, Milton looking at his laptop, Harvey grading papers, Jason making a run for a touchdown, Lauren cleaning her blackboard", Marla making her Molotov cocktail, Jason making said touchdown with his father watching proudly, Wildcats win by one point, Couch Kevin is dunked in gatorade, Harry gets ready to leave while Dana Poole watches through a window, back to Guber listening to his CD.
Fade to black.
