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The year is half over already, and I had a dickens of a time putting together my second annual Fastest First-Half Risers list because, frankly, I think there have been more fallers than risers this year. Eliza Dushku? If Fox really had faith (no pun intended) in Tru Calling, they'd give it a better time slot than 8pm Thursday. Speaking of faith, how about Kelly Ripa? Now that Ted McGinley (the patron saint of JumpTheShark.com) joined the cast of her new series Hope & Faith, I hope her contract with Live is long-term. Drew Barrymore? It'll be another week or two until we truly see how Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle compares to the typical movie sequel, but her previous flick, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is enough to recuse her. Graham Elwood? Well, his stock did rise this year, but I asked around at Invision, and the reason most of them watch Cram is Icey. Given the board is predominately male, I'm not suprised. Chuck Woolery? He hated making Naturally Stoned, and viewers are doing their part to make sure GSN doesn't get any ideas about making any more. However, I did come up with these:
3. Clay Aiken What second-place finish? The geek-turned-sleek even trumped Kelly Clarkson as This is the Night placed Number 1 in its first two weeks, and is still strong at #3 as I type this. (A Moment Like This debuted at #52.)
2. Jennifer Aniston Those of you who know how I fell about Friends can tell how much it pains me to put her on the list, but when your show is the most-watched sitcom on TV two years running and have just topped a list I forget offhand, not even I can ignore that.
1. Dick Wolf Meet the new Aaron Spelling. After 13 seasons, two spinoffs (three if you count Crime & Punishment) and another one in the works for 2004-05, the man who gave us Law & Order and brought back Dragnet says he's only scratching the surface.
To prove my point about there being more losers then winners this year, here are 2003's Five Fastest First-Half Fallers (which IMO sounds more alliterative):
5. Chyler Leigh Her stints on girls club and The Practice lasted a combined 11 episodes. Back to the teen movie circuit for you, Chyler.
4. Caroline Rhea Just a few years ago, she had a hit TV show. Last year, she had a talk show. Now, she's back at the comedy clubs.
3. Nia Vardalos Looks like that movie thing was only a fluke.
2. Justin Guarini His debut CD and debut movie have been met with ice-cold reviews and ice-cold sales. Now the heat is on him after that watercraft near-accident this week.
1. David E. Kelley Most critics agree that the next season for both The Practice and Boston Public is one too many. And as if opposing L&O isn't bad enough, The Brotherhood of Poland, NH is getting a lot of bad press. David, I think your time has come.
God bless America, let freedom ring!
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