go wild man on that chopping board! Make whatever
you are cutting as close to big grains of sand as possible! Whoo-hoo
wasn't that fun?!?!?!
look at diced or under the dictionary for "You
are beginning to annoy me"!
Okay, most guys are stupid with this. Boiling
doesn't mean when you see a bubble come up. It means getting the water
to look like a jacuzzi set on high. I guess you can call it a rolling
boil as well...or the way your bathtub looks after that tub of beans you
always eat.
Okay, best way I can define this one is for both meat
and sauces.
Meat - when you hear a slight sizzle. Or when you turn the dial from
HIGH to MED
Sauces - when you turn the dial from HIGH or MED to the spot between LOW
and MED or to LOW itself. Up to you dude!
the thing the beer is in.
Bet you didn't know that there is a pan under it did 'ya?
what the hell is that?!?! This can
go under things that one doesn't need to know along with scrubbing pans, rinsing
dishes, sos pads and stuff. Hey, 1+1=2, dirty stuff, cascade complete
equals dishwasher!!
cool little thing that isn't all that bad to own.
Just thrown stuff in it during the morning and by that night it
will be cooked. This is also known as, "The appliance that you hide
from prospective dates so they won't think you are weird!"
that game you play when taking a bath and bored.
YOU KNOW YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!
the best little invention yet made. It can
also wash baseball caps and shoes if you didn't know!
Gourmet baloney sandwich
Take a slice of baloney and fry it up. Basically when it begins
its imitation of a bowl it is done but you can let it fry some more
if you want. Anyway, when it is done put it between two slices of
toast and it is ready.
Optional ingredients:
butter
mayo
lettuce
tomato
whatever else you would put on a freakin' sandwich
Bachelor gruel version 1.0
Cook a hot dog, when it is done cut it up into bite size little
pieces. Heat up some baked beans. Drop the hot dog pieces in
and
mix it all up. You are done.
Optional ingredient:
crumble up a piece of bread and shove it on in the gruel
Beef Stroganoff
Boil some egg noodles, when they are done, put them away. Brown
some ground beef and when they are done, drain them. Add a can of
cream of mushroom soup in with the ground beef, a half a can of
water (the same can as the soup! what did you think I meant?!?!)
and stir it up. When it looks nice enough, add in some sour cream
until you think it tastes good. When it tastes good you are done.
Just put the sauce on top of the noodles and you are ready to go.
Optional stuff:
mushrooms and whatever else you like
Brown Eggs and Pork
In one of those large pots that always come part of a set bring to
a boil some cubed pork. You know, the cubed pork that has written
on the package, "Great for Stew". Anyway, bring the water and pork
to a boil. Then add in some soy sauce and sugar until the water is
dark and flavorful...hey, taste it yourself and find out how much
you like...I am not your mamma so I don't know what your tastes
are. Anyway, drop in one Aniseed star:
Aniseed, a spice you can find in the spice isle of a grocery store.
Quit your griping, shopping for food isn't that bad!
Back to the recipe...
Simmer the whole thing (yeah, you can add in more soy sauce or
sugar to make it taste better) for a couple of hours until the
pork is really soft. But before the last hour is up make some
hard boiled eggs in another pot. De-shell the eggs and drop them
in for the last hour. Now you can eat it with some noodles you
cooked up or with some rice.
Optional ingredient, tofu. Cut the tofu into thin to medium
rectangles and fry them up. Make sure that the tofu is completely
fried, meaning no soft middle. Drop the tofu in to simmer for
the last two hours along with the eggs.
Lo Mein or Fried Rice the easy way
The simplest way to make lo mein is with ground beef.
Ground Beef: easy meat to cook.
First, bring some noodles to boil. I recommend some spaghetti
noodles that only cook in like 5-10 mins. Simplicity is the word
here. Anyway, when they are done, drain them and set them aside.
Chop up some white or yellow onions, however many you want, and
stir fry them until they are brown. If you have no idea what in
the world I mean by that all then take a look at this.
Browning (onions) aka caramelizing: when they turn dark, when the
edges look like they are beginning to burn.
Hey, I am not a professional cook here, I am a bachelor like the
rest of you so lay off here!
Anyway, when the onions are brown drop in some ground beef and
brown them.
Browning (ground beef): it means when it is cooked you dunce!
How
difficult of a concept is that to grasp?!?!?!
Anyway, when the beef is cooked add in whatever veggies you want.
These veggies can be chopped cabbage (recommended), carrots,
celery, whatever, you get the idea.
Anyway, when the veggies are cooked turn the heat to medium and
toss on the noodles. Pour some soy sauce over it and put some
combination of these other stuff on it:
white pepper
garlic pepper
black pepper (recommended)
salt
sugar (just a little bit though)
Now mix the whole thing up until all of the sauce you created that
was on the bottom is completely gone. You can add hot sauce on
now (no tobacco sauce unless you like it on lo mein) and you are
done and ready to eat.
You can replace noodles with rice and get fried rice.
Easy huh?
My version of Spaghetti
Okay now, just cook it up like you normally do...if you don't know
how to cook spigot then you are really in trouble and this site
may just be too advanced for you. I would recommend a home ec
class at some school for you then! Heh-heh!
Anyway, when the sauce is done add in some butter! No kidding
here, butter! Put in enough until you taste all of its
wholesome goodness! Munch up!
Spaghetti Mistake
Well, so you came home from the store and you forgot to buy some
noodles for spaghetti tonight aye?
Well, not to worry. You don't have to go back. Just put a bit
of
sauce in the pan and mix it with:
ham (the kind of sandwiches)
or
ground beef
Make it nice and thick and then put the mix between two slices of
bread. There you go, not bad for a mistake aye?
Ramen noodles with egg
Just what it sounds like. Cook some ramen noodles and when you
notice that the noodles are done drop in an egg and stir it up.
When the egg is cooked you are ready to eat. Really difficult,
aye?
Back to the main page
The information
contained in this page may only be used in reviews. Any reproduction, copying,
duplication or recording
of this
work in any form, by any means is strictly forbidden, unless permission
is granted by the author.
