Hello. The internet is a brilliant concept: it enhances our methods of communication and
creates entire new ways to reach out to distant places and people in the world; you can find a plethora of information sources on whatever obscure
topic you are interested in; and converse with like-minded people on absolutely anything. Unfortunately, however, it also gives the moronic, biggoted and insane
of this world free reign to clog it up with prime, 24-carat shit. There are many web sites which utterly vanquish my respect for humanity, but today, children, I'll be focusing on
one in particular. It's called "The Truth For Youth" and is the official site of the Christian organisation of the same name. This organsiation makes comic books with a fanatically Christian agenda.
These pieces of religious propaganda are then handed out in America's schools. Wait a second, I hear you say, that's not necessarilly a negative influence on school kids - these comics can't be that bad.
Trust me, they are even worse than you imagine. They are funny too though, because the authors are so horrendously narrow-minded, and their attempts to stereotype "unChristian" behaviour have all the subtlety of
a 10 pound sledge hammer. All kinds of diabolical vices are discussed in "The Truth for Youth" publication, from alcohol and sex to violence and Rock Music (Gasp!), but I have chosen one to analyse for this rant;
it deals with that omnipresent Satanic force... PORNOGRAPHY!
Before you read on, take a look at the comic strip yourself, and you will see why I am so intent on tearing it apart:
The Truth For Youth - Pornography!
OK, here is the scenario: angelic Aryan, Jesse, is staying the night at his friend's house, but lo! His friend Marty's thoughts are not pure! He is looking at porn on the internet and is visibly aroused!
In an attempt to conceal his latent homosexuality (therefore explaining his disinterest in the heterosexual porn), Jesse launches into a tirade about becoming addicted to masturbation and the perilous road down which porn will lead you.
This is interspersed with copious Bible quotes which have been twisted to lend some perverse meaning to Jesse's idiotic arguments.
"God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit, but when the Serpent got her to really look at it and dwell on it, she was hooked! That's how lust works, and why people get into pornography! And its just like DRUGS - just a little to start with then WHAM! You're needing more and more!"
*Cough* What the fuck! He is assuming that sex is a despicable thing which we must never, ever think about, yet it is usually through repressing such thouhgts and desires that deviances develop. Look at all those "celibate" paedophilic priests!
The author is assuming that we have no self-control or minds of our own to contemplate our actions. The doctrine in this case seems to be, why think for yourself, when a 2000 year-old book full of contradictions can do it for you? Doesn't the fact that the Christian authors are being so militant in their opposition to pornography scare you a little? It does me.
The most amusing aspect of this comic is the clumsy way that they try to persuade you that pornography is wrong. Marty's Dad looked at it when he was his son's age and look at him now! A fat, sexist pervert who's face is eternally covered in spooky shadows - THEREFORE PORNOGRAPHY IS EVIL AND DESTRUCTIVE, CASE CLOSED!
Naturally, Marty's Dad's date doesn't work out because pornography has permenantly warped his perception of women. Infuriated that he hasn't had the opportunity to jerk off, Marty sends his self-righteous friend home. In Jesse's house, where everyone is an immaculate Christian, huge orbs of gleaming light appear in the background, as if small nuclear devices were being continuously detonated. *Sigh* I wish.
Jesse retells his failure to convert Marty to his parents and weeps for the moral decay of mankind. What treatment do they suggest for their traumatized son? Jesus, Jesus, and more Jesus! Well, what else did you expect them to say? And then something truly incredible happens - they give you the phone number for a Christian support line that has been set up to offer advice to people
whose lives have been gripped by pornography! Oh, sweet Jesus, it's beautiful, isn't it? The number is 1-800-394-HOPE, so if porn has made you a slave of Satan, call it and let them know.
Truth for Youth would make a brilliant piece of satire, but bewilderingly, its makers are being serious. Christianity is not necessarily a bad set of principles to live by, but fanatics like this remind me of humanity's bottomless capacity for idiocy. As John Lennon put it, "Jesus was alright, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. They twisted what he said and ruined it for me."
Check out Jesusdressup.com!
Sinner: Is it true Jesus, do you really love me?
Jesus: Thanks for your comments. Due to the astronomical amount of mail Jesus receives, he is unable to answer you personally or prove his existence in any tangible form. Have a nice day!
