Phoebe: ...There was that whole bonding time before I was even born.
Prue: Okay, she was one and I was three. What did we bond over? Diapers and drooling?
Prue: Okay, uh, well, we were kind of wondering who you were going to have as your maid of honor.
Piper: Oh, well, let me think about it. I'm not allowed to invite anybody or have a cake or a band or flowers, so what makes you think I'll be able to have a maid of honor?
Piper: It's not like I'm some girly-girl and wants like a fairytale wedding, but I just thought there would be some things that would be givens.
Phoebe: Like fighting with the caterer and agonizing over who makes the final cut on the guest list?
Prue: All right, maybe you're not getting your dream wedding but you are getting your dream guy.
Leo: I hate to bearer of bad news.
Piper: Could you possibly be the bearer of a big hug?
Leo: Not after what I just found out. They want an answer, Piper, about us. Either there isn't any us or you guys get a new 'Lighter. We have till tomorrow night to decide.
Piper: Tomorrow night? That's insane.
Leo: Look, there is door number three. We can try and pull this off tomorrow night, if we do it's binding. They can't even break that apart.
Piper: Yeah, but if they find out they can break us apart into a thousand little pieces.
Phoebe: Excuse me?
Piper: I believe the term he used was unspeakable wrath, the lengths of which you can't even imagine.
Phoebe: ...I'm still on the unspeakable wrath part. I mean is that just the bride and groom or does it also include bridesmaids?
Phoebe: What? I mean, there must be some real reason that this merging is so forbidden, they're hardcore against it.
Prue: Yeah, well, rules are meant to be broken.
Phoebe: Bodies weren't.
Piper: And neither were hearts.
Phoebe: Bad kitty!
(The owl suddenly turns into a naked man.)
Prue: Good kitty.
Chris: Are you afraid of me?
Prue: No, are you planning on sprouting horns, growing fangs and eating us?
Phoebe: If I had a dollar for every time an owl turned into a hot guy on our porch, I'd be ri-
Prue: Been there, saved that, wouldn't be the first time.
Piper: Yes, but we have to find a way to hide the wed... rutabaga before they catch on.
Prue: The rutabaga?
Piper: It's a code word for the thing we're not supposed to talk about. (Hums the wedding march.)
Prue: Oh, the rutabaga.
Phoebe: I don't get it. If our ancient compilation of spells, witchcrafts and rituals can't help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?
Piper: You know what I don't get? Why you're giving me such a hard time about this? Weren't you the same girl that was pushing me to say yes? If you didn't think I should have a rutabaga then you should've said so maybe, like a long time ago.
Phoebe: Assistant District Attorney, we have to stop meeting like this.
Cole: You'd better be careful or a guy might think he's been followed.
Piper: You'd better be careful or a girl might think her sister's getting a really cheesy pick up line.
Phoebe: Oh, embarrassed party one.
Cole: So who's the lucky guy or more importantly, who's the lucky sister?
Piper: Me...me, Mimi. Mimi, our cousin. Our cousin Mimi.
Phoebe: Good old cousin Mimi.
Cole: Well, I should probably get going. I've sort of got plans to accidentally bump into another eyewitness over at the Gas and Sips.
Phoebe: Cute.
Cole: I get cuter.
Piper: We go now.
Piper: Um, no, about the, um, rutabaga. It's a ritual that's like a rutabaga but it's called a, um... (She writes down "Handfasting" on a small blackboard.)
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, hand...
Prue/Piper: Shh shh shh.
Piper: The reason we write the bad words is so that we don't say the bad words. Wait a minute, I thought you said you looked in the book and couldn't find anything to help me.
Phoebe: I couldn't find anything in there about how to hide it from them and thinks that's the really most important part so that we don't have to feel the, um... (She writes "unspeakable wrath" on the blackboard and shows it to them.)
Piper: I think you can say those words.
Phoebe: Uh, I was hoping writing them down would help us remember them.
Phoebe: All right, wait a minute, I think that this looks like the place... sorta.
Piper: That's funny, I remember it looking like the right place sorta three hours ago.
Phoebe: Okay, look, if you wanted a supernatural low jack, you came to the wrong witch. Oh, wait, look, that is where Christopher was standing in my premonition.
Phoebe: Okay, I hate to break up the whole getting to know you portion of the program but what did Christopher mean when he said someone was coming?
Piper: I swear to God I've seen this in a movie somewhere.
Prue: Uh, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Upstairs, Book of Shadows, curse search, way ahead of ya.
Phoebe: (to Piper) Wanna take a Wiccan time out and do the crossword puzzle?
Brooke: You keep asking yourself...
Piper: Shouldn't love conquer all?
Prue: What love can't conquer we will.
Piper: For everybody but ourselves.
Prue: Honey, the day's not over yet.
Piper: We're gonna need your help if you want this to end happily ever after. I know I could use a happy ending.
Phoebe: Anything, anything. I curse you, you curse me, get together and do a little cursing.
Phoebe: Oh, I would hug you but...
Grams: I know.
Grams: You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?
Phoebe: Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f-
Grams: Do you want to tell me about that nagging concern you have in your gut?
Phoebe: That's no fair you have after life advantage.
Grams: I also know you, Phoebe. Talk to me.
Phoebe: Um, I wanna be able to support Piper in this. I want to look at her and I wanna say go for it but what if her and Leo get rutabaga-ed and they find out and then something horrible happens to them. I mean, look what happened to mum and her... special friend. And I hate to go skipping down selfish road but what if by association...
Grams: You and Prue get hurt.
Grams: ...Logic and reason go out the window when love gets involved.
Grams: The Charmed Ones are destined for greatness. But that fact doesn't keep a girl warm on a cold winteright.
Phoebe: So add a blanket. Grams, I can't believe you're saying this.
Grams: I'm saying what I know. I remember the loneliness all too well.
Phoebe: You were married four times.
Grams: Well, that's because I never found true love but maybe Piper has.
Piper: Okay, he could've killed me.
Phoebe: Us.
Prue: The question is why didn't he?
Assistant #2: Because I don't want you.
Cole: 1329 Prescott St. (He holds out the bag of books. Phoebe looks confused.) On the receipt. In the bag. Itll there. That sounded much better in my head.
Phoebe: They gave you our books and you thought you'd drop them by.
Cole: That wasn't so hard when you said it.
Cole: Whitelighters always were messy. (To his shadow) Report this.
Phoebe: Oh my God.
Piper: Nice try, Pheebs, but the distraction technique stopped working in third grade.
Phoebe: No, it's not a technique, it's an eclipse. Look at it. No, wait, don't look at it. Trust me. I totally forgot that the eclipse was to... day. A night within a day.
Piper: I'm sorry, please repeat.
Phoebe: The curse, the eclipse. Until a night within a day. Isn't that what Brooke said? That's what gonna break the curse.
Brooke: Aren't you going to kiss me?
Sorcerer: Brooke, I may be cheap but I'm not easy. No, wait, yes I am.
Piper: Then we get to break into Atica.
Phoebe: Well, we do have other choices. We can climb the roof or see if there's a convenient and unguarded side entrance or we could use the wonder twin powers.
Piper: Ugh. I don't feel so...
Prue: What is it?
Piper: I don't know, I don't have a good feeling about this. Wait a minute, I take that back. I do have a good feeling about it, about something. I feel all warm and fuzzy.
Prue: Is it your stomach?
Piper: No, it's here. (She pats her chest.)
Phoebe: When the time is right you'll know. Oh my God, the time is right.
Prue: The time for what?
Phoebe: The, uh, the wed... the rutabaga. It's gotta be the eclipse. If we can't look up, that must mean that they can't look down.
Prue: Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooh, this is it, this is it. Okay, all we have to do is get home and...
Phoebe: And do the ritual and let Leo know and call the florist and we gotta d-d... (Piper stops her.) What's, what?
Piper: We've gotta get to Brooke.
Phoebe: Oh, Piper, I think I have a solution to the whole maid of honor thing.
Prue: Oh, me too.
Piper: What about our distinct lack of a high priestess?
Phoebe: Would you please just let me worry about that.
Grams: Girls, your high priestess is waiting, unfortunately the eclipse is not. Now let's move it.
Prue: You look beautiful. I know it's not exactly how you wanted it.
Piper: But it's exactly what I wanted. |
