Phoebe: (talking about Piper) ...So, while she is up romping around the clouds with Leo, we've got our Wiccan butts flapping around in the wind here.
Phoebe: (To the ceiling.) Piper, where are you?
(Prue uses her power to send a stick into the guardian, but it goes right through him.)
Phoebe: Wait. Didn't the book say they were just like vampires?
Prue: I might have mis-read that part.
Phoebe: I'm sorry? (The guardian picks up the knife.) Okay. The rune. Aim for the rune. (Prue uses her power to send a stick flying into the guardian's triangle on his forehead. He gets electrocuted and disappears.) Okay, if Piper ever comes back, I am going to kill her.
Phoebe: ...Unfortunately our guardian angel is no where to be found. (She looks up.) We sure could use some cosmic help right now. What are we supposed to do? We've never been in this situation before.
Phoebe: All I know is Cole is an angel. He was awesome in that court room yesterday.
Prue: See something you like, sis?
Phoebe: Maybe, or maybe it's just nice to run into someone that's not a college boy. More years, less hormones.
Prue: Yeah, not a bad butt either.
Leo: I know that, but it's their rules.
Piper: Screw their rules. They're wrong.
(Piper leaves)
Prue: (sarcastically) Hi, welcome home!
Phoebe: Okay, what was that all about? I didn't even get to bitch at her.
Prue: Yeah, neither did I.
Phoebe: (to Leo) Yeah, so now I get to bitch at you. Listen, the next time you take my sister some place, please, call and let us know that you got their safely, okay. I don't care if it's up there-
Prue: Okay, oh, shh. Leo, uh, can you do me a favor and just go find out everything you can on guardians. They are demons. Okay, thank you, bye.
(Leo orbs out.)
Phoebe: Excuse me, but I have issues.
Prue: Yes, I know, so do I, but Leo looked pretty beaten up already.
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right, which is why I'm now gonna go kick Piper's ass.
(Prue closes the front door using her powers.)
Phoebe: Okay, we have had this conversation. You are not allowed to use your active power on me until I have an active power to use on you, remember?
Prue: I know, and I'm sorry, alright. But if anybody's gonna talk to Piper it should be me, okay. Cool our heads and all. Besides, shouldn't you be at class?
Piper: This is really weird. My supplies are, like, gone. There's no booze, there's no mineral water and we're even out of pretzels. Plus the books are all messed up. How did this happen in one lousy day?
Prue: One day? You're kidding, right? Piper, you have been gone for one month.
Piper: (about "up there") ...The longer I'm back, the fuzzier it all seems to get. I think they do that on purpose, they're very big on mystery.
Phoebe: And what do you sense about me?
Cole: ...You're struggling with the truth. That you're a good person who wants to do the right thing here but for whatever reason you can't. How am I doing so far?
Phoebe: Hung jury, mistrial.
Phoebe: (to herself) I have got to get a cell phone.
Piper: Who's Cole? Wh-what did you do to your hair?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Prue: Okay, Phoebe, now is not the time.
(Piper opens her mouth ready to speak.)
Phoebe: What's a guardian you ask? Well, if you'd been around at all then you'd probably know, huh?
Prue: Alright, we'll fill you in on the phone and Leo's checking on them so you should get together with him and find out everything.
Phoebe: And no orbing.
Phoebe: Whoa! (She levitates in the air. Phoebe is in shock.) An active power.
Cole: Phoebe? What are you doing here? What happened?
Phoebe: I think I'm gonna plead the fifth on that one.
Leo: I look at you and I think how lucky I am. I mean, I can't stop looking at you. You're my dream come true. You're my raison D'ettra. Every time I see you, I love you even more. You're so beautiful. You're so special. I can't imagine my life without you... (Piper walks in.) Piper!
Piper: Leo, who are you talking to?
Leo: Me? Uh, nobody, just myself, you know.
Piper: Yourself? You were telling yourself how much you love you?
Leo: No, of course not. Uh, I mean, it's, it's not like that at all. Um, let's go downstairs and I'll explain.
Piper: Actually, no, we don't have time. Uh, did you find out anything about the guardians?
Leo: Uh, no, I forgot.
Piper: You forgot? Leo, what's the matter? Why are you acting so weird?
Leo: Can we go downstairs please?
Piper: No, why?
Leo: Okay, fine, um, here's good. Um, I've been thinking a lot actually about our situation.
Piper: Leo...
Leo: No, no, just let me finish. Um, I think I've come up with a solution, a way for us to be together no matter what they say. (Leo gets down on one knee and Piper's eyes widen. He takes Piper's hand.) Will you marry me?
Leo: Listen to me, Piper, I told you, I thought this whole thing through.
Piper: Uh-huh. Is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?
Piper: ...I'm downstairs now and I still don't believe you're serious.
Leo: I am serious, Piper, dead serious.
Piper: Right. Dead is exactly what we're gonna be if they ever find out.
Piper: Elope?
Leo: Right.
Piper: So that they don't find out.
Leo: Exactly. (Pause) You hate the idea.
Piper: Well, it's not exactly Cinderella is it?
Piper: Leo, this isn't supposed to be this way. Marriage shouldn't be a solution to a problem or a band aid, it's supposed to be about love and about two people who love each other so much they want to spend the rest of their lives together.
Leo: That's what I want.
Piper: But that's not where this is coming from. It's a fix-it, I guess, but it's not about us or love or whether or not we're even ready to be married.
Leo: I came up with this whole idea because we love each other. It's all about our love. You know, we're meant to be together, Piper, you know that. You went to the future and you saw that we were married in it. That means that somehow they didn't stop us, somehow we found a way to be together and I think this is the way.
Piper: I don't know. Leo, I love you and I never wanna be without you, but getting married in secret. It doesn't feel like a holy union to me. I'm sorry.
Piper: Can't we just come up with a spell or something?
Prue: No, a spell could backfire on us.
Piper: So could this.
Phoebe: And since you can selectively freeze things, why not just the innocents?
Piper: Oh, maybe because I've never done it before.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I've never levitated before.
Piper: You never what?
Prue: Look, Piper, just focus all of your energy on freezing the innocents, okay?
Piper: Okay. (to Phoebe) So why did you do that to your hair?
Phoebe: Because I wanted to change my luck.
Judge: Kill them.
Prue: Oh!
Phoebe: What do we do?
Prue: Oh! Oh! We run.
Phoebe: Okay, does anybody have any brilliant ideas?
Prue: Ah, can't you just freeze them?
Piper: No, once they're immune to it they stay that way. That's why it's called immunity.
Phoebe: Great. (Everyone outside tries to bang down the door.) Okay, this was all your idea, you know.
Prue: Okay, well, so sue me.
Prue: Ah, any mass vanquishing spells?
Phoebe: You're the one that's been studying the book.
Prue: Why are you picking on me?
Phoebe: Because I'm scared and we're outnumbered.
Prue: Are you ready?
Piper: No.
Prue: Yeah, you're ready.
Piper: No, no.
Prue: On three. One, two, (to Phoebe) don't hold my hand. One, two, three.
Cole: What happened?
Phoebe: Aren't you getting tired of asking me that?
Phoebe: You've been gone for two days and you get the Barenaked Ladies? How?
Piper: Oh, actually, I just made a couple of phone calls.
Phoebe: And I can't even get Barry Manilow on the phone.
Phoebe: Ah, not a problem. I didn't even really notice that you were gone actually.
Prue: Liar.
Phoebe: (about Cole) No complaints here.
Piper: Uh, one over here. Hottie that he is, he is an Assistant D.A., which makes him somewhat a threat to us.
Phoebe: Yeah, but at least he's one of the good guys.
Prue: (Leo walks in) Speaking of the good guys...
Phoebe: Uh, so have you had a change of heart?
Piper: Actually, no. Hi.
Leo: Hi. Piper, maybe it was a mistake...
Piper: Wait, Leo, me first. I've been thinking a lot about our situation and you asking me and I didn't want to just dismiss it without thinking it through. Um, last night in the court room, I was actually scared. For a minute there I thought I wasn't gonna make it, that that was it, and that's where I realized that I don't wanna die without ever having being married to you. The answer is yes, Leo, I would love to marry you.
Leo: Yeah?
Piper: Yeah.
Leo: Yeah?
Piper: Yeah. |
