THE CAMPAIGN TO GET JIM LAID

Thank you for your interest in the campaign to get Jim laid.(C.T.G.J.L.) My name is James W. Bush, but please... call me Jim. I am a single, heterosexual, white male, but I can't seem to get laid to save my life. Heck, some guys would have given up by now, but not me!

Upon pondering my circumstance, I came to the conclusion that the reason I can't get laid is... the ladies don't know I'm available. The solution was easy. INCREASE PUBLIC AWARENESS!!! And that's how my campaign to get laid started.

Next I needed a slogan. I rambled through a multitude of lengthy descriptions of my plight, when all of a sudden, the perfect slogan popped into my head. Simple, precise, and to the point."F_CK BUSH" said it all!

Now is your chance to help increase the amount of LOVE on the planet, and help a really nice guy get some whoopie! So, to say thank you to all my generous supporters, I am offering a five dollar kick-back...oops, I mean incentive, on all direct orders of the Official" F_CK BUSH" T-shirt. (T-shirt comes with the missing letter filled in, so you won't have to guess.)

That's right! Now for just $19.99 (+ tax/S&H)... That's five dollars off the $24.99 retail price, you too can proudly show your support and help to spread the message of our campaign. Your high quality, 100% cotton T-shirt comes in any color you want, as long as it's white. And it has the "F_CK BUSH" slogan printed boldly on the front. T-shirts are available in adult sizes only, and each one comes with a copy of this Official Campaign Notification, suitable for photocopying!

You will soon find yourself the center of attention, as people notice your bold fashion sense. And you will be able to take advantage of your moments in the limelight by simply handing them a copy of this official notification. Thereby spreading the word of our common cause. The notification also comes with an order form, so all your friends can get there own "F_CK BUSH" T-shirt and stop borrowing yours.

And for the ladies who want to take a hands on approach to easing my condition, the address of my Official Campaign Headquarters is also included. (Please include a photo and short introductory letter.)

I am confident, that if we all work together and take a firm stance in the face of this seemingly overwhelming problem, then we will see the eradication of my condition from the face of the earth within my lifetime. At least I hope so! And so, in closing, I would just like to say again... Thank you for your support! James W Bush

Orders no longer being taken by mail. E-mail: wambatron@yahoo.com to inquire about sizes still available.
(Permission to copy, unaltered, unedited, and in it's entirety for free distribution only is granted by C.T.G.J.L.)

HOMEPAGE * MORE OF JIM'S JOKES

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. Mahatma Gandhi

People who are willing to give up freedom for the sake of short term security, deserve neither freedom nor security. -- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Were we directed from Washington, when to sow, and when to reap,we should soon want bread"Thomas Jefferson

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.--- Herbert Hoover

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."
President Dwight D. Eisenhower April 16, 1953

It's not just Democrats who are questioning the President's grip on reality.

Senator Chuck Hagel (NE), a Republican, says: "The worst thing we can do is hold ourselves hostage to some grand illusion that we're winning. Right now, we are not winning. Things are getting worse." [2] "The fact is, we're in trouble. We're in deep trouble in Iraq."

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) also supports releasing the NIE and says: "We made serious mistakes right after the initial successes by not having enough troops there on the ground, by allowing the looting, by not securing the borders."

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), says "he believes the situation in Iraq is going to get worse before it gets better, adding that he believes the administration has done a 'poor job of implementing and adjusting at times.'" and says "We do not need to paint a rosy scenario for the American people...."

Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN) says it's "exasperating for anybody look at this from any vantage point."