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Author: Starway Man
E-mail: theop@kew.hotkey.net.au
Disclaimer: The Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, Kuzui, WB and UPN; no copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made from this fanfic.
Main characters: Anya, Jonathan, Xander
Setting: Takes place initially in seasons 6/3 of BTVS/Angel
Rating: R-ish (some violence, language and intimate relations)
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Psyche’s transcripts and lots of other Buffy/Angel sites, for various bits of information
Warnings: There are spoilers present for up to and beyond BTVS season 6 “Normal Again”, and Angel season 3 “Sleep Tight”
Classification: Buffy-Angel Crossover, Action-Adventure, Angst, Alternate Universe
Summary: Anya wants
vengeance after the non-wedding fiasco. Jonathan is concerned his two
partners-in-crime have gone too far. What happens when a time-shifter
named Sahjhan enters their lives?
Title:
Best Served Cold
***
“‘Fear is for the weak’. That’s
my motto. Either that, or ‘live in the now’.” (Rogaine Boy, BUFFY THE
VAMPIRE SLAYER)
“The ring’s not about vengeance,
Angelus, it’s about power. We’ll get to the vengeance part soon.” (Darla,
ANGEL)
“And you shall yet have your
vengeance on those who would fill themselves while others want.” (Kurt
Barlow, SALEM’S LOT)
***
Unknown location. March, 2002
Time means practically nothing,
when dealing with affairs of the heart.
It had been about a week since
Xander Harris had left his fiancée Anya – the former vengeance demon,
known as Anyanka – at the altar in Sunnydale, and things between the
former couple had been left totally up in the air.
Anya had cried enough tears
for a lifetime, unsure of what to do next. Afraid too, of what else
this life would now bring her.
Fortunately for her, though,
an old friend from her demon days named Halfrek had no such problems.
This vengeance (or ‘justice’)
demon was busy waiting for an old acquaintance, in a room that to mortal
eyes would have appeared completely black. Suddenly the air in front
of her shivered, and the ethereal time-travelling demon known as Sahjhan
appeared.
“Hallie!” Sahjhan exclaimed,
taking out a cigarette and lighting up. “Long time no see!”
Halfrek rolled her eyes. “Yeah,
yeah. Look, Sahjhan, I’m calling in that favor you owe me. That’s why
I summoned you here.”
“Good to see you too,” Sahjhan
smirked. “How’s Anyanka these days?”
Halfrek scowled. “You know,
sometimes I regret ever releasing your dimensional essence from that
Resikhian Urn! Maybe I should have just left you there...”
Sahjhan grabbed her by the
throat, dropping the cigarette. “I’m not exactly impotent in this dimension,
‘Hallie’. If that was a threat...”
But Halfrek quickly threw him
off. “Get a grip, you chump! Look, I just need you to get that stupid
old Band of Blacknil...”
Sahjhan looked at her as if
she was crazy. “Are you nuts? I’m not going up against some Kleynach
demon! I may be a time-shifter, but I’m not omnipotent!”
“Oh, relax – you won’t have
to overexert yourself. Just pick it up on February 25th, 2001 at the
Hyperion hotel in LA, after that vampire Angel has sex with Darla.”
At the mention of his old enemy’s
name, Sahjhan started. “And this’ll put a crimp in Angel’s situation?
'Cause right now I’m working on something to kill that kid they spawned,
y’know...”
Halfrek shrugged. “Probably.
Maybe. Who knows?”
Sahjhan appeared to consider
it, then shivered out of existence. Less than five seconds later, he
reappeared and handed the item to the female demon.
“Good,” the demoness said.
Then she handed him a long sheet of paper, with a name and address on
it at the top. “Now, go to Sunnydale and read out that script to the
intended recipient, after you memorize it. And try to sound convincing!”
Sahjhan glowered at his ‘friend’,
but carried out her wishes. A few minutes later, he was back.
“Done. Now, I’m considering
this to restore the balance between us, Halfrek. My debt to you is paid
– in full. Don’t call me again.” Then he vanished once more.
Halfrek barely noticed. “Stage
One accomplished,” she muttered to herself. “Now for Stage Two...”
***
Los Angeles, California. A
few hours later
The woman officially known
as Anya Jenkins was on her way back to her motel room, after visiting
an anagogic demon known as the Host (or Lorne) at the Hyperion hotel.
The place which the souled
vampire Angel and many of his crew were currently calling home.
Anya had locked up her store,
the ‘Magic Box’ and gone there because she had heard that the demon
was good at reading auras and putting people onto their proper path
in life – which was something that right now, the blonde woman sorely
needed.
Unfortunately, the former owner
of the Karaoke bar ‘Caritas’ hadn’t been able to help her much.
“I’m sorry, sweetcakes,” Lorne
had said to her, after Anya was done singing for him. “That ex-fiancé
of yours really screwed with your life, huh?”
Anya had looked annoyed. “That
much I already know. Try telling me something that I don’t know!”
Lorne had shrugged. “Be it
ever so clichéd, time heals all wounds,” he’d said. “You need to put
this aside, and move on. Live your life, sugarplum, and do what you
do best. That’s all I can tell you.”
For a moment, after Lorne’s
comments, Anya had thought of the demon D’hoffryn’s words – “It’s time
you got back to what you do best...don’t you think?”
Becoming Anyanka. Worshipped
and feared around the globe, an avenger of scorned women – such as herself.
But after all this time of
being human again, Anya wasn’t sure if she wanted to become a demon
once more. She wanted the pain to go away, true, but the girl was afraid
crushing Xander like a bug wouldn’t help much...
And then suddenly, Halfrek
appeared right in front of her. “Hello, Anyanka.”
Anya looked at the demoness,
and then hugged her old friend. “Hi, Hallie. How’s business?”
“So-so,” Halfrek shrugged.
“How are you holding up?”
Anya sighed, and sat on the
bed. “I’m not crying all the time anymore, so I guess I’m getting better...”
Halfrek looked at her carefully.
“Maybe, but you’re still not at the top of your game,” she said bluntly.
“And I understand that that Xander character wants you back...”
Anya looked up in surprise.
“He does?”
“Sure,” Halfrek looked annoyed.
“Until the next time he decides to dump you at the altar, I suppose!”
“Hallie...”
“I mean, did you notice how
touchy-feely he was acting around that stuck-up Slayer at the wedding?
I heard he even said to her, ‘You want to get lucky? I’ve still got,
what, fifteen, twenty minutes?’”
Anya looked at her in horror.
“He didn’t!”
The demoness shrugged. “Ask
her, if you don’t believe me...”
Anya looked furious, and lost
all sense of judgement. “That’s it! I’m gonna vengeance his ass, right
now!”
Halfrek smiled. “All right!
Okay, so what’s the plan?”
Anya started pacing. “I don’t
know! Lemme think...”
After a few moments Halfrek
asked Anya, “Well?”
“HEY! DON’T RUSH ME!” Anya
yelled.
“Mind if I make a suggestion?”
“What?”
“I’ve been doing my homework,”
Halfrek said slowly, coming right up to Anya. “And I think the best
thing you can do to him – the most effective vengeance – is to take
away...his friends.”
“HUH?”
“I’m serious,” Hallie responded.
“Look at his history. Ever since that Slayer arrived on the Hellmouth
in '96, the long-armed gimp’s friends have been the most important thing
in the world to him. I mean without them, he’d have been Deathwok droppings
a LONG time ago...”
Anya appeared to think this
over. “But how do I cause them to go away from him? I mean – I don’t
want to hurt *them* and yeah, they’ll probably be all mad at him right
now, but they’ll get over that! Because Buffy and Willow still love
him like a brother...”
Halfrek then gave her the Band
of Blacknil, and Anya gasped when she saw it. “Where did you get this!?!”
the ex-demon exclaimed.
“Called in a favor,” Halfrek
shrugged. Then she gave Anya a piece of paper with an address on it.
“Go there right now, and you’ll get your best chance for this vengeance
idea.” Halfrek subsequently vanished without another word.
Anya looked at the address,
it was a building in the warehouse district in Sunnydale. Gathering
her things together into her suitcase, the scorned woman then checked
out of the motel room, and started back towards the town that had been
home for the last few years.
***
Sunnydale, California. March,
2002
Jonathan Levinson was not in
a good mood.
Ever since the murder of Katrina,
the ex-girlfriend of his fellow crime lord Warren that had been killed
a few weeks before, things had been slowly but surely going downhill
for him – if not his two comrades.
Jonathan knew that he was being
kept out of the loop nowadays and locked up inside their basement lair,
out of fear that his loyalty to the Trio – as the Legion of Dorkness
called themselves – was supsect.
And while Warren Mears and
Andrew Wells were busy getting ready to rob some vault, he was busy
getting deprived of sleep – as Katrina and Buffy’s faces were constantly
haunting him.
Jonathan had started developing
a persecution complex, he knew that. And he was sure the other members
of the Trio knew it too.
The way Warren had spoken to
him that evening, after he’d tried to leave – the guy hadn’t threatened
him, exactly, but he’d made it perfectly clear that quitting was not
an option.
All of a sudden the air in
front of him shivered, and Sahjhan appeared. He looked around and muttered,
“Nice place. Real Batcave-like thing you guys have got going here...”
Jonathan yelped, as he leaped
back. “Who-who are you?” the nerd stammered.
The time-shifter shrugged.
“Name’s Sahjhan.”
“Uh, okay – b-but what do you
want here?”
Sahjhan didn’t answer immediately,
instead he walked around the basement for a few moments. “Guess what
I really want to know is, if you’re gonna like jail...”
Jonathan’s eyes bulged out.
“WHAT?”
Sahjhan tried to explain. “Look,
I’m here as a favor to someone you don’t know. I’m a time-shifter, so
I know your past, your present – as well as your future. And believe
me, the last one? It is UGLY.”
The geek’s eyes went wide,
as the demon kept talking. “Your friend Warren, who killed that girl
Katrina? He’s gonna kill someone else, one of the Slayer’s pals. Girl
by the name of Tara, I think her name was? Whatever...”
The human tried to interrupt,
but Sahjhan kept talking. “Plus you and your pal Andrew, you’re gonna
get arrested after you three and the Slayer throw down at an amusement
park. So I hope you’ll enjoy making special friends with Roscoe the
weightlifter when you’re doing time, kid...”
Jonathan yelped, “No!”
Sahjhan smirked. “Oh yeah.
Okay, my job here is done. See you...”
The young man yelled, “WAIT!”
Seeing Sahjhan hesitate he asked, “Is there any way to avoid that future?”
The time-shifter that was Angel’s
sworn enemy shrugged. “Sure there is. Warehouse, corner of Crawford
and Ridgeway Street. But I’m not in the charity business – YOU figure
out what to do!” Then he shivered out of existence.
At this point, Jonathan had
become desperate. He’d had a bad feeling about all this for weeks. And
now the so-called crime lord knew that the crimes he’d committed were
going to rear up and bite him on the ass – sooner, rather than later.
For a moment he considered
going to the Scooby gang, and throwing himself at the Slayer’s mercy.
Tell them everything...
But that option just wasn’t
SURE enough. Jonathan knew Warren would probably track down and kill
HIM if he did that, and Tara or whoever would still die. Plus, the young
man had no desire for Buffy to kick his ass into jail for what he’d
done, and end up meeting Roscoe...
So Jonathan gathered up his
supplies – including all his magic implements – and throwing caution
to the wind, set out for the address Sahjhan had given him.
***
Not long afterwards, Andrew
and Warren arrived into the lair. Instantly noticing Jonathan was absent,
the evil mastermind and his lapdog took a look at the footage from the
secret security camera – the one that had been set up, to monitor their
erstwhile partner.
“Whoa!” Andrew exclaimed, when
he saw Sahjhan appear. “Who’s that?”
“Don’t know,” Warren replied
in confusion.
The two young men were shocked,
though, when the heard the demon’s words. “WHAT?!” they both yelled,
upon hearing their futures.
They then watched Sahjhan vanish
and Jonathan leave, before the screen filled up with fuzzy TV snow.
“Oh man, oh man, what do we
do?” moaned Andrew. “We’re SCREWED!”
“No, we’re not!” Warren jumped
up and grabbed a gun. “Come on!”
“Huh? What-” asked the brother
of Tucker Wells, somewhat stupidly.
“Jonathan’s gonna do something
idiotic, I just know it!” Warren yelled. “We gotta stop him!!”
***
At that moment, Jonathan had
arrived at the empty warehouse and was standing around, looking foolish...when
Anya walked in and found him.
“Hey! I know you! You’re Jonathan
– you’re one of the nerds that Buffy’s been looking for!” Anya exclaimed.
Jonathan yelped in fear, and
backed up away from her. “Please, no...I’m sorry...”
Anya was somewhat confused.
“For what, exactly?”
“Everything!”
The ex-demon considered that.
Then she asked, “What are you doing here? Cooking up some sort of nefarious
scheme with your idiot sidekicks?”
Quickly losing the fear to
his customary embarrassment around girls, Jonathan stammered, “Um, nope...”
“Then what? God, don’t tell
me you’re here on a date?”
“NO!” Jonathan shouted, before
calming down. “I, uh, I’m in trouble. I got a visit from this time-shifter
demon or something tonight, who told me my future. It was bad...and,
and that the only way to avoid it was to come here. I don’t know why...”
Anya was stunned, and remembered
what had happened at the wedding. Then she remembered how Halfrek had
told her to come here. “Wait a minute,” the ex-demon said, “Wait just
a darn minute...”
“What?”
“You know all about magic,
don’t you?” Anya asked, with a note of excitement in her voice. She
remembered the alternate reality Jonathan had set up a few years ago,
causing everyone to think he was some sort of superhero...
The amateur wizard shrugged.
“I can do some spells...”
“What sort? And don’t be afraid
to get technical.”
Jonathan looked confused. “Uh,
shape-changing ones – mostly. But I’ve also done some temporal distortion
stuff...” he trailed off, thinking of what he’d done to Buffy. The time
loop thing, in particular...
Anya’s excitement was growing.
“Interdimensional time travel?”
“Not exactly...” the dork shrugged.
“Maybe I should...”
“YES! Hallie, you’re brilliant!”
Anya shouted, with an idea forming in her mind of how she could bring
down vengeance upon Xander.
Then she turned to Jonathan.
“YOU! You’re gonna help me. And in return, I promise I’ll help you!
Deal?”
The former high school geek
wasn’t sure. “Uh...”
“You want me to call Buffy,
and get your butt sent down the river for theft and manslaughter?” she
who had been Anyanka demanded in a cold voice.
That quickly decided the young
Mr. Levinson. “Tell me what to do...”
***
A short time later, the unlikely
duo had set up for a magic ritual that Anya knew. “You really think
this is gonna work?” Jonathan asked in a shy voice.
“Will you stop being so anal?”
Anya demanded. “Of course it’ll work!”
“It’s just that I’ve never
done anything like this before, and I’m not sure...”
The blonde woman held up her
hand, with the demon implement on her ring finger. “See this? It’s our
secret magic ingredient. All you have to do open up the portal – and
I’ll take us where we need to go! Then you can stop worrying about jail,
and everything...”
Jonathan didn’t like her tone,
but he knew he had no other choice. Finally prepared, he and Anya sat
down cross-legged in front of each other.
The young man then muttered
some words in Latin, and cast his magic bone – and in the empty space
of the warehouse, a multicolored interdimensional portal appeared directly
before them.
“Cool!” Jonathan smiled, as
he and Anya got up, the portal shimmering within the air. “Great Stargate
FX!”
Anya looked at him sharply.
That comment could so easily have come out of Xander’s mouth...for a
moment, everything that had happened since the non-wedding fiasco came
crashing down all around her, almost making Anya’s insides bleed.
“Hey,” Jonathan said, seeing
Anya get teary-eyed. “You okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” the ex-demon
choked up. “Just, just give me a minute...”
“We don’t have a minute, the
portal isn’t stable enough!” the warlock told her. “Come on...” he started
dragging her to the interface between dimensions.
But then all of a sudden, Warren
and Andrew arrived at the warehouse.
“HOLD IT!” Warren yelled at
them, brandishing the gun as he and Andrew came in through the door.
Jonathan looked at his former
partner, and knew there would be no reasoning with the would-be rapist.
He shoved Anya in front of him and yelled, “RUN!!”
But as they both ran for it,
Warren took aim at Jonathan’s back and fired.
[BAM!]
Anya risked a momentary look
back after hearing the gunshot, and just barely got a glimpse of Jonathan’s
dead body collapsing to the ground, a look of surprise and pain forever
etched onto his facial features.
That was right before she jumped
into the portal, and everything went black.
And the moment she did so,
the universe changed.
***
In an anonymous hotel room
somewhere in southern California, the member of Angel’s Fang Gang named
Cordelia Chase and the hero from Pylea named the Groosalugg, were together
naked on the bed.
To be more accurate, they were
com-shuking like a pair of Drokken beasts...when Anya jumped into the
portal.
And the next moment, the room
was completely empty, save for a bored maid that was cleaning up and
muttering to herself, “God, I need a life so badly...”
***
In Los Angeles, on a street
pavement about one minute away from the Drew Medical Center, a man named
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce lay bleeding to death with his throat slashed. And
at the Hyperion hotel, Angel was slamming his associate Charles Gunn
up against the wall.
And the next moment...Wes was
still there, watching a woman named Justine – the person who had done
this to him – drive off in his car with Angel’s son, Connor. And Angel
was still pissed about what Wesley had done that day...
***
In Sunnydale, not that far
from the warehouse, a feverishly deluded Buffy Summers was watching
a waxy, bald-headed demon toss around her friend Xander, while her sister
Dawn and her best friend Willow Rosenberg watched helplessly after being
tied up by the Slayer.
< Buffy...no... > Dawn
thought to herself in horror.
< Oh God, I’m gonna die...and
I’m never gonna get the chance to tell Anya that I still love her so
much... > Xander thought.
< Oh God, I’m gonna die...and
I’m never gonna get the chance to tell Tara that I still love her so
much... > Willow thought.
And the next moment...the basement
was empty. Suddenly though the doorway opened, and Joyce Summers called
out, “Rupert, could you come give me a hand with this?”
***
Los Angeles, California. May,
1999
Anya jerked awake in her seat,
looking around in consternation. “Where am I?” she asked in deep confusion.
The ex-demon stared at her
surroundings, and saw that she was in some sort of bus. A bus that looked...vaguely
familiar...
Anya then looked down, and
saw the Band of Blacknil on her finger. < So much for all that being
a dream... >
“Hey lady, you getting off
or what?” the bus driver asked in a nasal voice.
Anya ran up to him. “Where
are we?”
The man shrugged. “LA. Look...”
“And what’s the date?” the
woman demanded.
The driver looked confused
for a moment. “May 21st.”
“But that’s over two months-”
Looking at the newspaper on the dash, the ex-demon frowned. “Wait a
minute, what’s the year?” Anya was suddenly impatient.
“Huh?”
“I SAID, WHAT’S THE YEAR?”
the ex-demon almost screamed.
“1999! Sheesh, lady, take a
pill or something!” the bus company employee muttered, before getting
out of the commercial vehicle.
< 1999... > Anya thought
dazedly. Then she looked down at the demon ring she wore, and realization
hit. < Of course! This is when I was running away from the Ascension!
>
The memories came flooding
back, as Anya realized what had happened. Somehow, the portal and the
Band of Blacknil had brought her back to this point in her life, with
all her memories of the future intact.
Memories of happiness, and
betrayal...
But Anya quickly realized that
none of that mattered now – all that mattered was that she had a chance
to follow Halfrek’s advice, and punish Xander by taking his friends
away from him. And with her knowledge of the future, how could she fail?
Grinning to herself, Anya got
off the vehicle and went off to buy a ticket on the next available bus
to Sunnydale...
***
Sunnydale, California. A few
hours later
By the time the Ascension –
the ritual for the Mayor of Sunnydale to become a pure demon – was underway,
Anya had arrived back in Sunnydale.
And when the eclipse came and
Richard Wilkins III transformed himself into this huge-ass snake monster,
the former vengeance demon shuddered in loathing.
Anya then watched in fascination,
as the students fought the Mayor. It reminded her somewhat of the previous
Ascension she’d witnessed, so long ago...
Finally though, the Slayer
and her allies defeated the bad guy, the day was saved and all was right
with the world.
< Blah, blah, blah... >
Anya thought to herself. < Time to get this show on the road... >
The woman started to make her
way over to the Scooby gang just as Cordelia said, “Well, that’s the
most fun you can have without having any fun.”
Willow said smiling, “How about
the part where we kicked some demon ass. I didn’t hate that!”
Xander agreed heartily, “Hear,
hear!”
Buffy joined the group and
said, “You guys want to take off? I think we’ve done pretty much all
we can.”
Cordelia raised her eyebrows
and nodded. “I’m for it.”
Willow looked up at Buffy.
“Are you okay?”
Buffy said in a small voice,
“Yeah...I’m okay. I could use a little sleep, though.”
Willow nodded, and agreed emphatically.
“Yeah!”
Buffy sat down on a nearby
bench. “If someone could just wake me when it’s time to go to college,
that’d be great.”
Willow smiled at the Slayer,
as her boyfriend Oz (or Daniel Osborne) said, “Guys, take a moment to
deal with this: we survived.”
Buffy looked around. “It was
a hell of a battle!”
Anya said softly, “It certainly
was. Congratulations.”
Everyone turned around to look
at her. “Anya!” exclaimed Xander. “I thought you left?”
“I came back,” Anya said to
him, the plan set firmly into her mind. “I saw you guys save your town,
and possibly the world. Again, congratulations.”
Willow brushed that aside.
“Thanks. But it kinda makes you wonder why demons bother to come here
anymore. Don’t they know we’ll always kick their asses?”
Oz looked like he’d just remembered
something. “Guys, I gotta go see if someone made it...” He looked at
Willow. “Meet me at my place, half an hour?” His girlfriend simply nodded,
they kissed and he quickly left.
“Right. So, where’s the pet
vampire?” Anya asked looking around, starting to lay the groundwork
for what was about to happen.
Buffy looked away. “Angel’s
gone. Left town.”
Anya shrugged, and looked at
Xander. “I suppose you’re happy now?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Xander was starting to look uncomfortable.
“You told me at Prom Night
how much you hate vampires,” the ex-demon shrugged again, playing the
group like a string quartet.
“Oh, but Angel’s different!”
Willow exclaimed. “I mean, with the soul and everything...”
Anya pretended to look confused.
“But didn’t he try to destroy the world last year?” she asked in a questioning
voice.
“Guys...” Xander started to
say, not liking where the conversation was going.
“Yeah, but he didn’t have a
soul then. And I got him his soul back, y’know,” Willow told Anya smugly.
“Guys...”
“Too bad I didn’t know that
Willow was gonna do the ritual, before I had to send him to Hell,” Buffy
sighed.
“What? Buff, I sent Xander
to tell you I was all ready to do the ritual again!” Willow exclaimed.
The Slayer looked shocked.
“No you didn’t! Xander told me that you said to kick Angel’s ass, or
something!”
There was a moment of confusion,
as the girls stared at each other. Then as realization set in, they
both turned and started to glare at Xander. Cordelia started to glare
at him too.
Anya just faded into the background,
as the screams, insults and Buffy’s fists started flying. Then she walked
away, with the feeling of a job well done.
< Now, what was that old
Spanish proverb again? Oh yeah, that’s right – revenge is a dish best
served cold... >
***
Sunnydale, California. The
next day
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce lay alone
in his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering about his
future.
He knew that things did not
look good for him in any way, shape or form. One Slayer gone evil and
in a coma, and the other having quit the Council...when he informed
his superiors of the situation, Wes knew that there would be repercussions.
And it wasn’t as if he had
many friends here in Sunnydale to help him. Make that none – neither
the Americans nor Mr. Giles had bothered to come here to check up on
him, or wish him a speedy recovery. They hadn’t even sent a get-well
card, or anything like that...
All of a sudden though, the
door opened and in walked Anya. “Hello,” she said formally, as she came
close to the bed.
“Ah, hello to you too,” Wesley
managed to stammer. Then he recognized the young woman, and grew somewhat
nervous. “Um, Anyanka isn’t it? The former demon?”
Anya smiled softly and said,
“That’s right.”
“Er, thank you for coming to
visit – what, what can I do for you?” Wesley asked in a faltering voice.
The 1120-year-old woman grimaced.
“Relax, I’m not here to hurt you. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite.”
“Please explain.”
Anya showed him her ring. “Recognize
this? It’s the Band of Blacknil. That name ring any bells for you?”
Wesley searched his excellent
Watcher memory. “Kleynach demon artifact?”
“Whatever. The point is, it’s
absolutely unique. And priceless. And I’ve got it. And if you do something
for me, I’ll give it to you.”
“I don’t make bargains with...”
Anya got impatient, “Hear me
out, before you get all judgmental! Because we both know you’re in deep
trouble, mister! You’ll be lucky if the Council doesn’t kill you, after
what’s happened these last few months – as it is, you’re sure to be
fired. Now, you can exit on your terms, or theirs. What’s it gonna be?”
Wesley stared hard at her.
“I’m listening.”
Anya started to pace around.
“The thing is, I don’t think you’ve ever understood the Slayer. Buffy,
I mean! Lemme tell you the cold, hard truth – deep down, she doesn’t
want to be the Slayer, she doesn’t want to have that sort of life.”
< Yeah, and especially after she died again, > Anya added to herself.
Wesley looked confused. “But
that’s absurd, she’s the Chosen One...”
“Oh, come on! Chosen for what?
To constantly have to save the world? To eventually die at the hands
of some moron vampire? Don’t be an idiot. I’m 1120 years old, and I
*know* most Slayers are just robots. Tools for your Council. BUT THIS
ONE ISN’T.”
Wesley almost jumped at her
tone. “So what do you suggest?” he asked mildly.
“She wants to have a normal
life, give it to her – for a while. Away from Sunnydale.”
“What?”
“I don’t want her around here.
That’s my price. Persuade her to return to the Council’s guidance, if
Giles is reinstated and she can go off to college somewhere for the
next four years. I heard Willow got accepted into Oxford, so you could
send her there...”
“That’s ridiculous!” Wesley
exploded. “I mean who, who would patrol the Hellmouth here in her absence?”
“Will you at least try not
to live down to my expectations?” Anya snapped, irritated. “Everyone
knows the Council has lots of hired killers and Slayers-in-waiting,
and how long would that other Slayer Faith last anyway?”
Wesley shrugged, acknowledging
she was right. “What about Buffy’s other friends? Cordelia, Oz and...Xander?”
Anya tensed up, at hearing
her ex-fiancé’s name. “If you’re smart, you’ll include them in the deal,”
she said as calmly as possible. “But I wouldn’t bother with Xander,
if I were you. I don’t think Buffy likes him too much right now...”
She abruptly turned around
and started to leave the room then said, “One other thing. I need my
anonymity, so don’t mention my name regarding this to anyone – ever.”
Then she left Wesley to meditate upon her words.
***
Sunnydale, California. Three
weeks later
As Anya exited the Sunnydale
General hospital, she felt calm and at peace. The deal was done, and
she had given the Band of Blacknil to Wesley. Now it was time for her
to leave town, and never come back.
< Where am I gonna go? >
Anya wondered to herself. < Not that it really matters. Hmm, maybe
Cleveland would be a nice place to set up a magic store business, or
else I can try New York... >
But just then, Anya got the
shock of her life – when she bumped into Jonathan Levinson coming up
the marble stairs. “AHHHH!” the woman screamed.
Jonathan looked around, confused.
“What?” he asked her.
Anya calmed down, and stared
at him. The image of the geek’s dead face in that other world surfaced
in her mind, and the ex-demon knew she had one more promise to keep.
“It’s Jonathan, right? Look,
there’s a lot I need to tell you. Listen to me very carefully...”
***
Sunnydale, California. June,
2003
Four years is a long time.
And yet somehow, at the same time, it isn’t.
Xander Harris made his way
to Giles’ house after sundown, when he knew that the Slayers – both
old and new – would be there. Coming to the back door, he subsequently
entered very quickly and very quietly.
Because the young human had
changed a lot since the Ascension. He was now 22 years old, and a new
man.
Xander knew that today was
the day that his four former high school classmates were scheduled to
return home. Oz had called and given him the 411, even though Buffy,
Willow and Cordelia hadn’t spoken to him.
As a matter of fact, the three
women hadn’t spoken to him in years, ever since the foursome had left
for Oxford in the summer of '99 – courtesy of Wesley’s deal.
Xander wasn’t looking forward
to what was going to happen now that they were back, but he knew it
was both inevitable and necessary. And the quicker it was over with,
the better.
The young man made his way
to the living room, when suddenly he saw them all. Buffy, Willow, Cordelia
and Oz. College graduates, and back home in Sunnydale.
Rupert Giles, Riley Finn and
Angel were off in one corner, looking troubled. Xander caught their
eye, and smiled briefly to reassure them he was okay. They smiled back.
Realizing something was up,
his old ‘friends’ turned around and stared at him. The only word that
could be used to describe their initial reaction was, < Huh? >
Because Xander looked nothing
like the clown, the Zeppo they remembered from high school. His clothes
were different, his stance was different, the scar across his forehead
was different, but most importantly – his EYES were different.
They swept over the new arrivals,
without revealing anything. They were the eyes of a hunter. A man now
able to kill efficiently.
Oz in particular could feel
the predator within him raising its hackles, recognizing the presence
of a danger to him and his mate. He looked quickly at Willow – they
had gotten married the previous year, and now his wife was pregnant.
Apart from reaching E-flat,
diminished ninth, it was all Oz had ever wanted.
Suddenly, Xander smiled at
him though, and Oz relaxed. < I was wrong. He’s not a danger, >
the werewolf thought to himself. < Okay. I can live with that. >
“Oz,” Xander said simply.
“Xander,” Oz replied simply,
moving closer to Willow. The young witch was simply gaping at Xander
though, as was Buffy and Cordelia.
< Is that XANDER? > Willow
thought numbly to herself.
The same thought was running
through the heads of the other girls, although Buffy also thought, <
What the HELL? > while Cordelia thought, < Not bad – he’s become
a real HOTTIE! Even more than he was before. >
“Xander?” Buffy asked numbly,
starting as did the others when Xander removed his long overcoat, took
out a broadsword (that was a souvenir from the Knights of Byzantium)
and laid it on the table. “What’s with the sword?” she finished up.
“I’m sorry, were you talking
to me?” the former Zeppo asked coolly, as he walked through the room
a bit too calmly.
“Xander...” Angel started to
say.
Xander just stared at him.
“It’s a fair question,” he said, in the same cool tone. “Considering
we haven’t said a word to each other in over four years. And the last
thing she did say to me was, 'Don’t ever speak to me again, you son
of a bitch'.”
Everybody winced, even Buffy,
as she tried to defend herself. “I had good reason to say what I did!
Don’t try to pretend I didn’t, Xander.”
“And that reason was?” a new
voice rang out.
Everybody’s head turned around,
as the new Slayer, Michelle, came down the stairs. She came close to
Xander and kissed him hungrily, to the astonishment of the three new
girls and Oz (although no one could tell in his case).
Xander broke it off and pushed
her away, though. “Michelle,” Giles said sternly, admonishing her.
“Sorry,” the 17-year-old Slayer
grinned cheekily. Then she turned to Buffy. “You’re the old Slayer?”
“I’m Buffy Summers. You’re
the new one?” the blonde said carefully.
“Michelle Byers,” she replied.
Then she placed her arm around Xander’s waist, before he firmly removed
it. “Welcome home.”
“Xander, what are you doing?”
Cordelia asked in amazement. “For God’s sake, haven’t you ever heard
of statutory rape?”
To her astonishment, Xander
started laughing. “Same old Cordelia,” he said to himself, noticing
Giles and Angel were fighting to hide their grins. “Tact Girl is back.”
“Yeah, well, it’s obvious you’re
not Research Boy anymore,” Cordy said, trying to ignore a sting of jealousy
as she watched Michelle look at Xander possessively, and then direct
a glare at the brunette.
“On the contrary,” Giles spoke
up, startling them. “Xander is now, uh, Michelle’s unofficial Watcher.
And I’m afraid that, er, rather precludes a relationship of romantic
nature between them, Cordelia.”
< Good, > Xander’s ex-girlfriend
thought in satisfaction, as the teenage Slayer glared again.
“What the hell is going on
here?” Buffy demanded. “Since when did Xander become a Watcher?”
“Buffy...” Angel started to
say.
“Things have changed around
here since you left, Miss Summers,” Riley started to say. “In more ways
than one.”
“Like what?” Willow asked,
taking a step towards her childhood best friend.
But Xander immediately took
a step back, his eyes becoming hooded and cold. And that hurt Willow
– a lot.
The redheaded hacker and witch
remembered all the hurtful things she’d said – the rage, the accusation.
How she’d told Xander he was a pathetic piece of jealous garbage, for
not doing as she’d asked and telling Buffy about the curse five years
ago.
That he was responsible for
sending Angel to Hell, and that he’d be going there himself for it one
day.
Over the years, though, the
anger had cooled – Oz had had a lot to do with that, as had the passage
of time. And deep down, Willow supposed that she had been hoping they
could put all the animosity behind them. Clean slate. Childhood friendship
restored.
But, it was obvious now this
wasn’t going to happen.
“Xander...” she started to
say.
“Don’t talk to me,” the young
man snapped, in an ice-cold tone. “We have nothing to say to each other.
Not after four years of silence. And in case you’ve forgotten, you cursed
me to go to Hell and stay there for eternity. Not something I’m looking
forward to.”
The old anger returning, Buffy
stepped in to defend her friend. “After what you did, Xander...”
“Yeah, what exactly did he
do?” Michelle interrupted, taking a dislike to all the new arrivals
except Oz. “He told you to kick a soulless vampire’s ass or something,
right? Which is sorta supposed to be in the job description, isn’t it?”
“It’s not that simple. We were
doing the soul restoration ritual for Angel,” Willow tried to explain,
as Oz came close to her in support and comfort. “If Xander hadn’t done
what he did...”
“Wait. I have something to
say, and it’s...not something you people are gonna like,” Angel interrupted
suddenly. “The thing is...Xander did the right thing.”
“WHAT??” the three ex-college
girls gasped.
“Hear me out,” Angel tried
to explain. “Buffy...I love you. And nothing’s ever gonna change that.”
This was a bit out from left
field, but Buffy smiled anyway. “Angel...”
“But I believe Xander was right
not to tell you the truth that day,” the souled vampire continued inexorably.
His eyes bored into the Slayer, and Buffy felt the chill of his words.
“That’s why I don’t blame Xander for what he did, not anymore. And neither
should you.”
“How can you say that!?” the
blonde Slayer cried in disbelief. “He sent you to Hell!”
“Uh-uh, blondie,” Michelle
snapped. “YOU were the one who did that.”
To forestall a huge argument
that he could see was coming, Riley said, “Might I suggest we leave
this discussion for another time? 'Cause I believe Xander has something
he wants to tell us.”
“Who are you?” Cordelia asked
then. < Hmm, he’s not too bad a male specimen either. Although Xander’s
the better one to pick from, if it comes down to a choice. Oh my God,
did I actually just think that? >
“The name’s Riley Finn,” the
former TA said. “I’m...Harris’s former C.O.”
“Xander enlisted?” Willow asked
in confusion.
Michelle looked at Xander.
“They don’t know you’re, like, this ex-army back-from-the-dead guy or
whatever?” she asked in astonishment.
“WHAT!!?” all four of the new
arrivals exclaimed loudly.
Giles began to rub his forehead,
suddenly gripped by a headache the type of which he hadn’t experienced
since the high school had been blown up. “Do you, er, want to explain??”
he asked Xander.
The former Zeppo looked at
him. “Not particularly.” So he just picked up his sword, rolled up his
shirt and ran it along his forearm. The blood came gushing out, from
the terrible wound.
“Xander!” the three girls shouted.
They started to rush around, not noticing that nobody else was panicking.
“We gotta call the hospital!” “Why’d you do that for?!” “Are you nuts?”
“Hold it!” Riley’s harsh voice
cut through the anxious babble. “Just watch.”
So Buffy, Willow, Oz and Cordy
watched then, as the bleeding stopped. And slowly, a mystical green
light softly enveloped the wound – closing it up, and making it disappear
without a trace.
Willow and Cordelia backed
off, staring at Xander in horror. But Buffy just stalked menacingly
up to the young man and demanded, “Who the hell are you, and what have
you done with the real Xander?”
“Er, Buffy,” Giles stammered,
“that IS the real Xander.” He went off to get a towel and mop up the
blood, before it ruined the carpeting yet again.
“No it’s not!” Buffy exploded.
“The real Xander could never do something like that!”
“You don’t know me anymore,”
Xander said emotionlessly, staring at her. “I’ve gone through a lot,
while you guys were off having a good time at college,” starting to
look around at all of them.
“I’ve watched four Slayers
die, not including Faith getting the plug pulled on her life-support.
I’ve killed more demons and vampires than I can count, without any assist.
I even helped take out a hellgod! So like I said: You. Don’t. Know.
Me. Anymore.”
There was a shocked silence,
which Angel broke. “This is a lot to take in, I know,” he said mostly
to the love of his life. “But Buffy, everything Xander said is, uh,
the truth. He-he died for about a minute roughly 18 months after you
guys left, saving my life-”
“He WHAT?!” Buffy gasped, not
knowing what to make of that.
“Yeah,” Angel grinned painfully.
“And you know I wouldn’t lie about that.”
Buffy looked at Xander, whose
face was like stone. Angel continued, “It was a hell of a shock, when
we all saw it – but still...”
“So. You’re gonna live forever
or what?” Oz asked Xander in his own calm, unflustered way.
Xander couldn’t help grinning
at the other man – he had missed Oz’s laid-back attitude. “Nothing lasts
forever,” he replied simply.
“True,” the werewolf replied.
“Mine’s a silver bullet or knife. Yours?”
Xander shrugged. “Don’t know.
Decapitation, maybe? Not wanting to sound all Highlander, but the complete
and total removal of my head from my neck, that probably oughta do it...”
“Gross!” Cordelia exclaimed,
with a shudder.
Xander's face suddenly went
cold again, as he looked at her. “I don’t recall asking your opinion,
Miss 'Good-luck-as-a-pizza-boy-while-I’m-off-enjoying-college'.”
Cordelia just gaped at him.
Ever since she’d laid eyes on this new-and-improved Xander Harris, her
hormones had kicked in and she’d assumed she could snare him all over
again, if she wanted to.
After all, it had been over
four years and Cordy had not found anybody else – and neither had Xander,
from Giles had told her.
But now Cordelia Chase had
the feeling he had shut himself off from her and the others, forever.
***
Everyone else in the room was
also taken aback, at the venom in Xander’s voice. And as Giles returned,
he noticed the silence and asked, “Is, er, everything alright?”
Xander nodded. “Five-by-five,”
shocking his old friends, who hadn’t heard those words since the days
of the rogue Slayer Faith, four years before.
“I love that phrase!” Michelle
gushed, giggling and coming close to Xander again.
The former Zeppo just sighed,
and looked at Angel. “You wanna finish this up?” he asked the souled
vampire.
Angel nodded. “Here’s the plan,
Buffy,” he said to the Slayer. “Now that you guys are back, Xander and
Michelle are gonna be coming with me to LA – Wesley, Harry, Fred and
Gunn are waiting for us there. The, uh, Hellmouth’s your territory,
and Giles will be taking up his old place as your Watcher again.”
“Yeah, and I can’t believe
I’m going to be transferring to Hemery High!” the younger Slayer said
with a pout.
“Um...” Giles started to say,
noticing Buffy’s _expression. “The, the Council believes it’s for the
best, Buffy. There’s been a lot of vampire activity there, over the
past few years...”
“Harmony. Spike. Drusilla.
Even Darla came back for a while there,” injected Xander, causing Buffy
to grimace. “And what Giles won’t say, is that they don’t want a repeat
of what happened with you and Faith back then.”
Buffy stared at Xander, and
along with Willow and Cordelia, only just now realized what they had
done over four years ago.
The Slayer and the other two
girls had lost a friend, permanently and irrevocably. She’d had her
reasons – they all had – and because of them the man who stood before
her today didn’t like the group of three women, and never would.
And for Xander Harris, that
was really saying something.
“We’ll do one last patrol before
we leave,” Xander said to Michelle, who nodded and immediately went
off to get her stuff. “Dead Boy? Meet you back here in two hours?”
“I’ll be waiting,” and with
that the young man nodded to Giles and Oz, and shook hands with Riley
who bade him good luck and farewell, explaining that he had to catch
a flight back to Washington DC via LAX before midnight.
Xander then got his sword and
coat and went out the front door, completely ignoring his three other
former friends as Michelle quickly joined him.
“GILES!” Buffy demanded. “This
is-”
“What happened to him?” Cordelia
interrupted her, wanting to know the real truth. “How’d Xander end up,
like, so bitter and twisted?”
Angel, Riley and Giles looked
at each other, and sighed in unison.
“It all started when Spike
came back to Sunnydale, about four months after you all left,” Giles
said. “He, he got his hands on the Gem of Amara...”
“What’s that?” asked Willow.
“One-of-a-kind artifact, makes
a vampire invulnerable to stakes, beheading, fire, sunlight – everything,”
Angel told them.
As the new arrivals gaped,
Angel also saw the look of hope and excitement in Buffy’s eyes. So he
said quietly, “It’s been destroyed for a while now. But Spike...”
“...killed quite a few people
while he had it in his possession,” Giles finished up.
“Including Sandrine Bouchet,”
Angel added.
Buffy wracked her memory, as
the name was somewhat familiar to her. Then she got it. “Wasn’t she,
uh, the girl that Wesley arranged to bring over from France, after Graduation?”
“Yes,” Giles looked away. “She-she
was one of the Council’s Slayers-in-waiting, as you no doubt recall.
Next in line to become the Slayer, actually. Spike killed her almost
instantly. After that, the Council arranged for, uh, Faith’s...official
resignation from the cause, so to speak.”
Ignoring the newcomers’ looks
of horror, he continued, “The new Slayer came to town, and eventually
got the ring away from Spike. But he killed Mary as well, before taking
off...and, and we haven’t seen the infernal creature since.”
“Mary?” asked Willow.
“Mary Mulvane. Irish Slayer,
and quite the hot-tempered lass,” Angel told her proudly, with a hint
of his old accent.
“And what was Xander doing
during all of this?” Cordelia asked pointedly.
“Helping as best he could,”
Giles replied sadly.
“That’s roughly when I met
him,” Riley joined in the conversation. “I was once part of something
called the Initiative. Military black ops outfit. One night my men and
I were surrounded by the hostiles, when Xander comes tearing in like
he’s got a death wish or something. Saved us all! We got to talking
– and when the brass learned everything he got an invite to join up
with the unit, but then...”
“What?” all four young people
asked.
“Adam came along,” Riley whispered,
looking away.
“Adam?” Buffy said in confusion.
“Think really big, bad, ugly,
part-human, part-cybernoid demon,” Angel deadpanned.
“He eventually killed Rachel,
the new Slayer,” Giles added. “And quite a few other people, before
the military destroyed him and Xander told them where to, uh, shove
their job opportunity.”
“Oh my God...” Willow whispered.
“Anyway, during that last battle...Xander
was killed. Then he...came back to life,” the Watcher said slowly, lost
in the memories.
Angel had a brief flashback
about it, too. Ever since he had lost Doyle, his messenger from the
Powers That Be, he had tried to follow the Irishman’s advice and become
part of the world – and at the time, that had meant witnessing a miracle.
“How is that possible?” asked
Oz calmly, bringing the vampire and the Watcher back to the present.
“Yeah!” demanded Cordelia.
Giles went to get a book from
one of the shelves. “The Book of Tarnis,” he said, showing it to all
four college graduates. “It, it describes the Key...”
“The what?” Buffy asked. She
was getting sick of all the twists and surprises, and demanded, “Giles,
what IS all this? And, words of less than three syllables!”
“The Key is living energy,
Buffy. It’s a long story, but the bottom line is that the Key can be
used to unlock the barrier between all the numberless different dimensions
out there, and – um, end the world as we know it.”
Angel continued the tale, “These
monks, that were its guardians? They sent the Key to the Slayer – not
you, Buffy,” he said quickly, as the blonde woman opened her mouth.
“Rachel Hyde-Fitzpatrick. Their choice. Apparently, they wanted to make
sure she would protect it with her life, and they must have known that
she loved Xander, so they chose to use his body as the vessel for the
Key.”
“You mean...Xander’s dead,
or a yucky zombie or something?” asked a horrified Cordelia.
“NO!” the middle-aged British
man shouted, before regaining control of his voice. “He, he is very
much alive and the same Xander. The monks were simply ready when it
happened, and brought him back – much in, in the same way as Xander
brought Buffy back, when she drowned that time with the Master.”
Buffy shivered at the memories.
“So, this Key and these monks...”
“They knew that Glory was looking
for it, and they believed that that would be the best way to hide and
protect it,” Riley interrupted her, summarizing it as best he could.
“Glory?” Oz, Buffy, Willow
and Cordelia all asked at once, getting more and more bewildered. It
was obvious the Council had really kept them out of the loop on everything,
these last four years...
“The worst thing we’ve ever
faced,” Giles looked away. “A nightmare. A hellgod.”
Oz looked at the three girls.
“Xander mentioned something about that, before...”
“Yeah,” Riley sighed, moving
to the center of the room. “That was when we met these Holy Grail rejects,
calling themselves the Knights of Byzantium. They tried to murder Xander,
but Glory killed them all first. Nothing we tried could do squat against
her – she got her hands on our friend, and then...”
“What?” asked Buffy.
“There was a bloodletting ritual
to activate the Key,” Giles explained, choking up with emotion. “Sharon
Cameron – the Slayer after Rachel – she, she fought Glory, a-a-and saved
the world. She and Xander were very close – he was, ah, her best friend
and confidante. And, and Xander had to watch her die...”
“The Council found out about
Xander after that,” Angel said slowly. “And since he’d been helping
Giles for years with the research, they offered him a job. He accepted,
and so now here we are...”
Buffy started to say, “I don’t...”
“Buffy,” her Watcher said slowly,
letting his words sink in. “I warned you – all of you – before Xander
came in, that he had changed a lot. I know,” holding up her hand to
forestall her comeback, “I was very vague on details.”
“But they were Xander’s secrets
I was keeping,” the Watcher continued. “Ever since you all left, he-he’s
become like a son to me. I made a lot of mistakes with him, when all
of you were in high school – but we, we managed to get past them. It,
uh, gives me hope that one day, you all can do the same.”
“You really think so?” Cordelia
asked cynically.
“I have to have...some hope
for the future,” Giles sighed. “That time, when-when Xander was killed
– it was possibly the only thing that, uh, kept my sanity intact.”
Willow, holding tightly onto
her husband, shared a glance with Cordelia and Buffy. Their whole world
had been turned upside down and inside out, in a matter of moments.
The old rage, had been replaced
with uncertainty. A former friend, had practically been replaced with
a deadly enemy.
Obviously, the easy life for
four years of college had left them unprepared for the grim new realities
of the Hellmouth.
The three women had no idea
what the future would hold; but almost certainly, they suspected that
it would not include Alexander Lavelle Harris on their side.
And so Anya’s vengeance was
now finally complete.
THE END
