Birthday: July 19th
Blood Type: O neg
Free Time Activities?: Break dancing, breaking things, blowing things up, handing out advice like candy at Christmas
Favorite Movie?: After all of this time it’s still The Crow. No where as good as the g.n., but still good.
Favorite Read?: The Book of Five Rings and the Art of War.
Paper or Plastic?: Huh?
What do you wish for?: What is this? The Miss America contest? To live life to it’s fullest and experience all that I can.
Six Million ways to die choose one?: What’s with all of the damn questions, you scary MoFo? Autoerotic asphyxiation or death by pudding.
Have you seen my gray shirt?: No, now leave me alone
Words of Wisdom?: "Uuma quena en'mani lle ume ri'mani lle umaya. Uma ta ar'lava ta quena ten'irste'." - Translation: - " Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do. Do it and let it speak for itself." And “It’s your dream, live it.”

InstantCoffy
[psychoanalytical dispenser of knowledge]

 

real name: Andrew Bearden
Location: Cartersville Ga (dirty south)
age: 20
vocation: student (slacking bastard)
position: Warrant Officer of the FAC and Drake Relations
contributions: FAC funnies, a couple of pictures,
drake deflection, oh-so-witty
comments
Favorite slang term-sho' nuff
Least favorite slang term- bling bling, anything like that
Most preferred method of death-expiration date
Favorite activity- not working
Least favorite activity- working
Short term goal- avoiding work
Long term goal- getting paid for not working
Favorite sport- sexual allieviation (tee hee)
Beverage of choice- coke (slang for soft drinks)
Favorite animal- the human female
People say I look like- a hobbit. never fails.
The song that best describes me- just ask stormy. she seems to always have one.
Words to live by- "keep your head low and your hopes lower" - me, actually
Personal quote- "that's not what i meant! honest!

Location: Ohio (tell ME about it!)
Sign: Typical Aries
Staples: Bud Light (and lots of it), smoke-age, Chex Mix, wife beaters, cell phone
Strange Fact: enjoys wearing men's underwear, has danced with John Travolta (believe it or not... I have it on video!)
Refuses to: purchase a bathing suit, accept limitations, grow up and be boring
Aspires to: Live on an island with alcoholic midgets (yes... really) own a Signature Series Lincoln Town Car (93-94-ish, black)
Loathes: Self-righteous, judgemental assholes... ceramics (duh), to spend $20 on a bad steak, people in general, consequences (if I didn't kill anyone- get off my shit, coppers!) Being "shushed"!
Can't get enough: Del Monico's with portabella's (MY way), Bud Light (notice a trend?), shoes, scented candles, Simpson's episodes
When I die: My body will be easily identifiable, and they'd BETTER not have a religious person ranting about heaven at my funeral! (no offense, it's just not what I believe)
Guilty pleasures: general self-indulgence, smacking people on the ass, embarrassing uptight people, wandering around the grocery store in my pj's and fuzzy coat with crazy hair carrying a case of beer at 8am (doesn't get any better)
Catch phrases: "Right on" (constantly) "EAD, bitch" "Don't tell me what to do! I'm (firstname lastname) I do what I want!" (hence some of the legal problems

 

Favorite slang term- "Rad"
Least favorite slang term- Pretty much all "ebonics"
Most preferred method of death- Burning alive
Favorite activity- Making stupid people FEEL stupid
Least favorite activity- Writing this bio
Short term goal- To get out of my PJs
Long term goal- To get out of my PJs...and maybe make something to eat
Favorite sport- Sarcasm
Beverage of choice- Bottom shelf vodka
Favorite animal- Cow
People say I look like- Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas
The song that best describes me- "Nothing But A Dream" by Richie Havens (Subject to change at any time)
Words to live by- "It's life and life only" -Bob Dylan
Personal quote- "I don't have a point...I'm well rounded."

 

 

If you like pina coladas . . . and gettin' caught in the rain.

I'm a SWIM (single white incarcerated male) living in the San Quentin State Prison . . . area. My hobbies include reading Panini, stickin' it to the man, and carving small likenesses of Ed Begley Jr. out of cheap bars of soap.

Some people have said that I look like Ed Templeton (if you know who that is, I already love you). However, my cellmate Larry thinks that I look like Daisy Duke . . . but what does he know?

I guess I have a few phrases that I say a lot, including "Shank him, baby! Do it!", "Shove it, pig!" , and the ever-popular "Look fella, that shit ain't mine . . ."

Just in case you're wondering, there are a few things that I don't like: people on the "outside," pigs, midgets, prowlers, spoons, sheeves, spikes, spits, Buster Poindexter, jello shooters, and dancing Nancies.

 

 

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