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Here is where I'm going to post old entries.

Sunday, April 14, 2002:

For some reason I have this sickeningly happy feeling. Something is just telling me that everything is going to work out. I feel like I have so many options. I really want to be an actress! It looks like so much fun! But, you know, work too. At least some. I am so repulsed by science and math right now, which is not exactly great right not because I am "expected" to go into a field of math or science. I used to love it. I couldn't get enough chemistry homework, or enough math class. Now, I just hate it. I get so incredibly frustrated whenever I don't understand a concept. I am so in love with the arts right now. RIGHT NOW being the key words. I want to be a movie actress, living on set, having fun, being with neat and interesting people, becoming someone new. Maybe I what I really want to do is escape being me. I am so invisible, maybe being someone different and stepping into their life would change that. I don't really know what I want to do. I don't really think that I am pretty enough to do anything that requires time in the limelight. Maybe a dim amber light...eh, no light? Ha. I don't want to be caged into a 9 to 5 typical blue collar career. I want something fast-paced, but leisurely, you know what I mean? I want to see the world. Experience life first hand, taste exotic cultures, meet and greet...It's all such a huge dream, it'll probably never happen. But I don't want to CONFORM INTO SUBURBIA!!! That's my nightmare, living somewhere in California, or anywhere for that matter, the perfectly trimmed grass by the perfect husband or the cute little boy down the street, the same house on each side, everything uniform, the cars that pull out of the same driveways everyday at the same time...NOOOOO!!! I want to go to sleep in England and wake up in Australia, or Thailand, or New Zealand, or Alaska. But most of all, I want to have the power to affect change, be respected, HIGH CLASS! I want to care about people and help them with out holding a scalpel and donning scrubs or living in dirty shacks on "missions." I want to do it broadbased. I know what you may be thinking. No politics. I hate the world of politics, the "only for yourself and your committee" kind of dirty world. Plus, all that paperwork...Well, while I'm seventeen and still trying to figure out what to do with my life, email me ideas you have of what I should do. (And no suggestions for porn star, thank you.)

Saturday, April 13, 2002:

You know, I was thinking...you guys are like my best friends. I mean, usually people only tell their darkest secrets to their best friends. Well, I put just about everything that I'm thinking about, what I feel, EVERYTHING on this website. I think that it's amazing. People can feel and think things that no one would ever know because they all only look skin deep. Like me, for example, I open up to just about no one (in person) because I don't have many people that I can trust to that extent. There are so many aspects to a person that you can never make any assumptions. Or at least you shouldn't. People usually assume that I am the typical prudent good girl. Nothing bad, no smoking, no alcohol, definitely no drugs or sex, good grades, focused on her future, etc. Most of that is true (with the exception of the first one). But sometimes I wonder why I do it all. Yes, to be successful in later life. But what if I died tomorrow? I mean no one can predict the future. Sure, Ms. Cleo can try with her tarot cards, but I'm not sure if I would believe her. Think about it, anyone who is a good actor can put on a mask and act like they're happy. Why is society centered on that? All that "being happy" crap? It's just a ploy to keep society "normal." Nobody is normal. Every housewife has the stress from raising an entire family (which is usually centered around the husband). Most students suffer from stress due to excessive schoolwork. This probably leads to some feeling like they don't care anymore. It's just a defense mechanism against failure or stress, or worse depression. I think that everyone suffers from depression at some point in their lives. Just the degree of their depression is what society cares about. So many social mores, what's a girl to do? Society just wants to stuff everyone in their perfect little box, or shove them into the defective category. So what am I? I fit into the normal category, but that's just people percieve of me. If they only knew what I thought...oooo evil plots...just kidding. LOL! No, but seriously, I think it would scare people if they knew what was really going on inside my head. I am so fickle. Some days I feel great, others I feel so sick of myself. I hate that I feel like an outsider. Like I don't know the people that I call my friends, or worse yet, myself. Maybe I should go on one of those journeys to "find myself." Eh, that sounds boring. I wish I had a leisurely life. All of my life, I've watched my parents work so hard for everything that they ever wanted or needed. I want to be able to relax, watch the clouds go by from my villa in California, where I would be traveling all over the state to watch Rooney play at the nightclubs (can you say wanna-be-groupie?!?!). They are so awesome!! I want to marry Robert (Schwartzman)!!!! Ok, um, getting weird and I am digressing. I don't want to have to work. And when I want to work, I want to be able to enjoy it. Like working on my music. I would love to just sit for hours on end thinking of new songs and working out new melodies. Sitting by the pool, getting fanned by my poolboy, sipping margaritas, having my feet massaged by a young Latino man who's half naked...ANYWAY, I'll probably end up as just another blue collar worker in the laboratory or the hospital. I used to want to become a doctor, but then I thought, well, what if I had a family, I would never see my kids, what with all the overtime, the on-call duty hours, ugh. No thanks. Then, I wanted to go into chemistry. But what would I do? Sounds boring. I think all those hours in AP chem have made me lose my edge on chemistry. Now, I'm just a dull pencil. I want to get in touch with my creative side, which has been dormant for the past two years. I used to draw and paint and sing, even dance and gymnastics. What happened to that girl? She met Mr. Math and Mrs. Science. They have her in their clutch of evil despair. I love writing. I love to sing. But for the past two years, I have been taking only math and science classes. Everything has a right or wrong answer, logic explains it all, zero (0) creativity. Maybe one could argue that there is creativity in the way that you pour one solution into the other, or what color solution you would like to create. That's BULL! Ugh! I wish that I lived in a cultured city, like New York or L.A.. Someplace that breeds creativity. There's this creature inside me that wants to get out, but there isn't any place it can go to relenquish it's ultimate self. Well, I guess there could have been that small chance that I would've become one of those scary cultured chicks. Eew. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know where to go from here and I'm kinda scared as to where my life will head from here. What is really scary to me is ending up really, really NORMAL!!! I don't want to be a conformist to society's stupid social mores. I want to make splashes in the world, make a difference, find a cure for cancer (I don't know where that came from). Well, as Heather Matarazzo said as Lilly Moscovitz (Robert's movie sis!!) in The Princess Diaries, "...wanting to rock the world and having zip power, now that's a nightmare..."

Friday, April 12, 2002:

The topic for discussion today is being a teenager. Do you know why? IT SUCKS! As if all of you didn't already know that. Everyone always says how their teenage years were the best years of their lives. Well, I guess we can all look forward to life only getting worse. I am so tired of the dirty looks from senior citizens, the discrimination from everyone over 21, and those reports that keep calling us the "lost" generation. I used to get so offended, being branded a cow, dull and dumb, marked for disposal. I hated being put into that category of those kids who really are going nowhere in their lives. Who don't care. I just want to scream, "I CARE!" followed by, "I'M AN HONOR STUDENT!!". Maybe I should get a bumper sticker and put it on my butt. I've loosened up A LOT. In other words, I'm not as anal about my image that is conveyed to STRANGERS! After so many years of people telling me that teenagers are stupid, make the worst decisions, and are just completely irresponsible, I have been trained to be just those things. I am getting so tired of school. I think I'm beginning to lack the heart. I started SMOKING!! Isn't that horrible?!?!?! Well, I have definitely decided to quit and I'm glad that I have friends that are quitting too. I didn't want to stop before because I WANTED to do it. But now, I see it's starting to affect my game. In other words, its beginning to suck. So, I'm doing a little trash collecting in my lungs. I actually want to quit this time, for myself, not just because my parents wanted me to. Anyway, ha ha , well we diverted just a tad. My point is that if no one gives teenagers any responsibility then they're not going to know how to deal with it. Anything that you tell someone for long enough they will eventually do. Guaranteed. Ok, I'm a straight A student. If someone kept telling me I'm stupid, eventually I would lose confidence in myself, my grades would go down, and I would, therefore, become stupid to the world. It's all a confidence issue. I think that confidence is the best tool to give someone. Give them confidence and they can do anything. This goes for all of you too. Wow, that's such a great quote. Speaking of which, I will soon be putting up a new section on the home page: Favorite Quote of the Day. Trust me, they're worth checking out...

Tuesday, April 9, 2002:

I don't want to write something stereotypical. The generalized and mundane love song, the typical "I hate life" rock song, the finite stories of their hard-knock lives. The possibilities are endless, nevertheless taken. Already done. I want to tread a new path, create something new to awaken the masses from their pop culture slumber. I want to write something inspiring, something that people would be excited to hear. Most of all, I want people to be able to relate to my music. I want to kick those mushy unrealistic relationship songs where they truly deserve it.

Click on the guitar!

Monday, April 8, 2002:

Usually, the masses of the people determine one's life worth by the amount of wealth one has amassed, those whom he/she associates with, and one's living quarters. How can one possibly assign a number to a life? Quite easily in fact. Life is a game. That one who finishes with the most riches, the best of company, and the grandest house wins the pot.

Friday, April 5, 2002:

How easily betrayed by one's friends! Relationships so precarious that they need constant maintainence. Why are we, as individuals of a complex society, so completely and utterly co-dependant? We need others to support us, confirm our own independence, our own supposed needlessness of others as they need us. We each think of ourselves as independent in nature, but we are so completely consumed with making plans and going out to realize that it is not that we are independent, but we have merely convinced ourselves that we are.

Sunday, March 31, 2002:

Have you ever thought about how your life would change if you were royalty? I have. Since I don't exactly know who my biological parents are, I can dream about such things. But then again, thinking reasonably, why would they give up a child if they were royals? Wouldn't it be incredible to be loved by an entire country? Even to be loved by just one person would be an incredible feat. I mean, think about it. There's just one person out there mixed in with the other seven billion people of the world and it is your life task to find that "one." In some of our cases it takes more than one try. But I have sometimes wondered who it is and if I have already met him. What if I pass him everyday on the street? Or he goes to my school? (I think I already know the answer to that one. LOL!) But I guess that's why they invented dating, or otherwise known as "the dating game." The one hobby in the world that can chew you up and spit you out, only to do it again later. The process can be repeated multiple times, or until you find your special one, or the only one who doesn't butcher your heart. Love is such an amazing emotion. It's also the strongest one. It can pull people through the most horrifying events, give them courage, hope, even life. It's also the most intimidating. People are always so unsure of themselves when it comes to the opposite sex. I mean take me for example. I was totally head over heels for this guy for a very long time and I never even got up the courage to tell him how I felt. I think he's still pretty much oblivious to it, even if how I feel still exists only a little. I hate being vulnerable. Opening up ma Coeur (my heart) is extremely hard for me. It's like sleeping, I hate sleeping in front of other people because I feel vulnerable and plus I hate missing the action. I don't like opening up to people because I have been hurt many a time. Like over the summer, I finally opened up to this guy that I liked, a lot. Well, he took a sledgehammer to my heart and smashed it to bits. I was in tears for two days. That was the first time I really got hurt by someone that I really cared about. I haven't talked to him since. Even now, I feel like I'm in a crisis situation. Someone who I thought was my best friend is going through like a withdrawal period. Withdrawal from being my friend. We had gotten so close and now it's like she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. It's almost like she thinks she's too good to be friends with me anymore. Like she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. It's weird, losing a best friend so quickly. I lost my best friend from fifth grade. We had been pretty close, then it was like I woke up one day and we weren't friends anymore. I just started talking to her again this year, after two years and I am very happy to once again call her one of my best friends. I was also lucky with my best friend from eighth grade. I just started talking to her again after two years, but I don't know if she really wants to stay good friends with me or if she's just going around testing out friends to see who she likes being friends with the most. I mean, it is a new school for her. New schools to me are like clams. Open them and you can find a pearl. I can't wait until this weekend! It's my birthday Friday! I'm going on a shopping spree on Saturday with my mom and my friend(s) (plans still unconfirmed) and I'm also having a little party at my grandparents house. Then, Saturday night (!) I'm going with some of my friends and my cousin to the inner harbor. My friend says that the ultimate cardinal rule in girls' friendships is not to date each others' ex-boyfriends or hit on them, and definitely not their current boyfriend. I can see that that would be weird if you are still friends, but what if you're not? Well, anyway I was thinking about that this past weekend. I was riding down to Towson with my friend's boyfriend and I couldn't even imagine hitting on him because I (no. 1) know it would seriously piss her off and she would never talk to me again; (no. 2) her friendship is sooo way more important to me than any guy is ever going to be. Anyway, he's cool and all and I'm glad that she has him because he's really good to her, they just need to work on friend technicalities. To me, he's the kind of guy that I could see myself being good friends with, like brother and sister, which by the way we could seriously pull off b/c we look alike (LOL!). My only regret is that I couldn't find a find like she did. Well, it's my bedtime! LOL! Good night and happy dreaming!

Monday, March 25, 2002:

I am so tired, so this entry will probably be short. I was thinking today (something I don't often do.) (Cue the laugh!) Anyway, I mean seriously, WHY don't guys like me? Do I have COOTIES or something? One of my best friends says that they think that I am intimidatingly smart, like I'd make them feel stupid or something. You know, though, reflecting, in science class whenever they ask me a question and I answer them they're always like whoa, what? Rewind? I always have to break it down for them. Should I play stupid? I mean, okay, with this guy over the summer, (if u don't know who I'm talking about then sorry for ya!) he said that he wanted a ditsy blonde instead of someone he could carry on an intelligent conversation with. So what's with that? I mean really! Why the sudden degradation of society? If all the stupid people bred and left the smart people to die, then our planet would be full of stupid people. You can already see the trend beginning today. But I don't get what the difference is between me and all those other smart girls in school. What makes me so UNdateable? There's a question for contemplation. Ugh, I can't wait for this short week to be over then I can have a little time for some R n R, if ya know what I mean. LOL! Relaxation! I can see a massage in my future! I can't wait until my birthday! Eleven more days! Not that I'm counting or anything. I was kinda thinking about who is boyfriend material over the past day or two and I came up with one or two, possibly. Not to mention any names though. I'm not posting that!!! You'll have to take that up with me personally. Or sign my guestbook and check the box at the bottom. Actually, just ask me at school. LOL. I'll probably never talk to him anyway, I mean it's only a lust kinda thing, maybe not even that. He's cute that's all! Um, really cute. I find that I go through these phases where I seriously, deeply like someone, then I drop them like a hot rock. Never to be liked again. I also find, through experience that I am hopeless when it comes to boyfriends. Ugh, I think I've given up. Not on guys totally, uh, haha. Just the stupid people in my school. Ha, I thought I'd meet a nice guy in college, yeah, um, that's impossible. They're all just as immature as the ones in high school. The only cute one I met turned out to have a girlfriend (which he neglected to tell me when he was trying to hit on me in class!). Eugh. That stuff could make any girl wanna give up. It's like I'm all outta options. No one for me in Maryland. She has to go out of state. LOL. Well, it's getting late and a girl needs her beauty sleep...especially this one (I think I need more than that! LOL!) Night!

Friday, March 22, 2002:

Today was interesting. I had to go to that Notre Dame thing. SOOOOOO boring!!! I never ever want to go back there again! I think the whole point of the program was to get students interested in going to their school. Yeah, didn't work for anyone I talked to. But then there was the game! We won! We beat Tech!! And I scored my first goal! I saw this girl I used to swim with at the game. She used to be so nice to me during swim season and what not, but she didn't even look at me in the eye let alone say anything to me. All she did the whole time was complain about how bad her team sucked. I was just like, yeah, nice positive talk. I never really understood the whole religious thing in schools issue until today. I always thought that if you didn't want to pray or whatever, nobody was pressuring you to do anything. But before our game, everyone was gathering in a prayer circle. I tried to do other stuff so they wouldn't notice me, but they were all like, get in here, come on. I mean, what was I supposed to say? No thanks? I mean, I'm not an atheist or anything, but I don't believe in all that specific stuff. I don't really know what I believe in anymore. Moreover, I don't appreciate being pressured into doing something that I don't want to do. I really hate it when anyone tries to shove their religion down my throat. Like my mother, who try as she may, will not get me to that stupid Easter play at church. This will make the third(?) consecutive year that I have seen that. It's getting old. I've never really been much of a religious person. Once in a while I'll want to repent and be saved or whatever, but now I'm kinda compromising my beliefs. I mean, who really wrote the Bible? Four guys who lived over two thousand years ago who were as advanced in their language, their theology, and the stories of millions of other people in the world as we are today? Maybe even more? I'm sorry, I can't believe that such ancient beings could've come up with over a thousand pages of stories of how the world and after world works. I mean, I am very religiously versed. I studied religion for five years (I had to memorize passages from Psalms) and I went to church all of the time, and I read (as in past tense) my Bible all of the time. Okay, take the Book of Revelations, who wrote that? Can you honestly believe that Matthew, a living apostle wrote about the end of the world? What about the Book of Genesis? Who was there before creation to be able to write about it and even explain it? The way I see it, the only people there were God and the stuff he created after he created the world. Ok, so the hardcore religious people could argue that God explained it to the apostles or gave them the idea. I used to think that. Actually I took it a step further. I used to believe in divine providence, in which God has a hand in everything. I used to think that God gave inventors their ideas so that their inventions could further benefit God's people. Anyway, who are God's People? According to the Bible, it was the Hebrews. Where did we go from there? There was the age of Classicism, ie Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, etc. Not very religious, they believed in greek mythology. Then we had the dark ages. Yeah, crazy religious, that's where were invented the term "goth" as in gothic. Ok, then we had the enlightenment. A return to the classics. History often repeats itself. Then, the renaissance, a rebirth in Italy. Then, a major break in the european church. The original branch between catholics and protestants. Without it our country would not be where it is today. Everyone wants to escape religious persecution, but how can you when whereever you go those escaping then turn into the prosecutors of those others around them? Look at the school system. It's supposed to be religiously free, but still we have those within the schools pressuring the other kids. Well, I don't know. It doesn't bother me to the point of complaining. I'll just go along with it for now. I just don't like be forced, or worst, having assumptions made about me.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002:

Wow, I am actually writing a consecutive entry! Ha, you won't see that much, but I got kicked off the internet by my parents, so it's kinda not a choice. So, I'm writing this offline now. Well, today was definitely better than yesterday. I can't wait until this weekend!!! Friday I get to go to Notre Dame College for a Math and Science Day. I think I'll be in a DNA workshop. The sucky thing? I have to leave at 2:30 pm to make the game. Well, I guess it's okay, it's little of both worlds in one day. We play Harford Tech, we are SO going to kill them! I hope! I am so hopeful for the team this year. We have so many players that have so many different talents. I think that we make an awesome team. Everyone comes together and everyone's talents are combined in a team effort. These past few days, I've been ON! I feel really great, I'm running good and keeping up, stick skills are ok (could use some work), and I'm learning to be more like a beast on the field. Ha ha. I'll probably go out with one of my best friends Friday night too. Maybe one of my guy friends will be at his Mom's this weekend and he can come out with us too. I think I would so much rather be friends with a guy than be his girlfriend. (Well, it really depends on the guy! LOL!) But, I was thinking about it, who would I want to be with? No immediate names came to mind. All the decent ones are taken, leaving the yucky ones and the rebound ones. The rebound ones usually get back with whoever they had just broken up with. I mean, some are cute, but definitely not dateable material, for me anyway. I'm definitely not saying that I want someone who is co-dependant on me. I hate that. I hate making all the decisions. I like equality. I have this perfect vision for a perfect relationship with a guy, but I guess it's just a dream. It will probably never work. I want something like what Mandy Moore and Shane West had in that really cute tearjerker of a movie. Most of the guys in my school are just cocky, superficial jock jerks. No thanks. I don't want any. I started hanging out with my cousins again last weekend. I actually ended up spending the night at their house Saturday. They live in Cecil County, so it's kind of a long drive. By the time I dropped my cousin off, and we got to talking with his brothers, it was so late my uncle just told me to stay there. My two older cousins are twins who will be seventeen in July and my younger cousin will be fifteen this year. I used to go to school with them when I was younger. They were in my class since kindergarten, then they went to the Tome school, where they still go today. I wish that I could've went there too. We were all about the same smart wise when we left fourth grade. I went to Abingdon Elementary for fifth (where I met my best friend!) then I switched school systems. I was best friends with them, I'm talking inseparable. I stopped talking to them after we stopped going to school together. I also think that I would have a better education at the Tome school. There are only thirteen people in their whole graduating class! But last weekend, I realized just how much I missed them. I hadn' even really talked to them at holidays (the only times I saw them). But I missed being friends with them. Now my old best friend is so closed off, so quiet. But he was so nice to me when I stayed at their house! Maybe he remembered how close we used to be (because I didn't). He offered me his room (which I politely rejected and slept on the couch downstairs-I wasn't going to take his bed!!) so he gave me his body pillow ( which by the way, I love body pillows!) and a blanket. He is so much like me! Quiet, inquisical, and likes a lot of pillows to sleep with! LOL! I have four regular pillows and a body pillow that I sleep with. I miss my best friend. He used to stick up for me the playground. There was this other boy named Josh, who was two years younger than me, who used to chase me around the playground and try to kiss me. Eeww!!! The kid was so ugly! Now if it had been this other boy in my class, ha ha! I used to have such a crush on him!! I wonder what he looks like now. But anyway, Josh pretty much harassed me during recess, so I'd call for my cousin, and he'd come running, and Josh would be like, ooh, are you calling for me? I used to be like, no, and just give him this really nasty face. I was a tom boy though. I hated the girls in my class, with all their flowery dresses and dolls and girly stuff. I remember when my neighbor moved away when I was younger. We used to play together. He was a good friend. I was so young though. When he told us he was moving, me and one of my girl cousins chased him down the road and threw globs of mud at him. He was wearing a white t-shirt, mind you. Anyway, enough reminiscing for tonight. I have a ton of homework to do and it's late!

Monday, March 18, 2002:

Today was just about the worst day I've had in a long time. I woke up late today, therefore, I was almost late to school. First I had the most boring class in the entire school and we were in the computer lab, which wasn't bad at all. I got to chill in front of a computer for an hour and a half talking to my friend. He cracks me up. Then, I had English, which wasn't really bad either. We just talked about The Fall of the House of Usher. That was depressing. My poor friend, his girlfriend is pregnant and she hasn't told him yet. Their poor, poor baby is going to be a pot baby. Next, I had French. We didn't really do anything of any significance. That was fun. Then, I had lunch, which is always an adventure. I felt so out of the loop. They were chit-chatting about stuff they used to do with people they used to be friends with and what not. Once in a while they'd throw me a glance, but not often. I felt so invisible today. But we'll get to details later. I don't think I belong at their table anymore. The day just went downhill from there. I had chemistry next. It's monday! And we took a test as soon as we walked into the room. Which, believe it or not, I pretty much failed. I had a 95% in that class, which is one of the top grades in the class, but I didn't do my homework over the weekend plus this latest failure. I got so frustrated because I didn't understand the concepts (I missed class last thursday for a field trip) that I just put my head down on the desk and tears started welling in my eyes. I HATE that! I hate people seeing me cry, which I don't think anyone did because no one notices me anyway. I mean, I could hang myself in the back of the classroom and no one would even blink. Not that I would do that. I was so thankful to get out of there. But, then I stepped outside and wished I could be inside. It was rainy, cold, muddy, and overall, yucky, very yucky. I had to go out to my car to get my lacrosse stuff. I got down to the locker room, and, yeah, I forgot a t-shirt. All I had was a long-sleeve shirt. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to freeze. I walked up to the field and the first person of the day to actually seem to care about me, our goalie. She said she was sorry that I had a bad day and she let me sit on her goalie bag. Later, we started our usual running- 15 minutes. I've had the worst shin splits last week. I guess the weekend rest was good for them because I ran really well today. I kept ahead of everyone else the entire time, I was so proud of myself. The only thing is that no one ever seems to notice me. I'm definitely NOT jealous of anyone on that team, but I'd like some recognition once in a while too. Everyone just watches these two girls on our team, like they're the only fast runners on the team. I just want to scream, "I'm here too!!" and wave my arms around. It's not fair. But neither is life. I don't say any of this in any kind of jealous fashion. I respect them so much, I mean, one is an awesome defender and the other is an awesome attackwoman. Like my politically correctness? Thought so. I just try to push myself so hard, never stopping, even slowing, or yielding to the increasing pain in my leg, just keep going. I had mud up to my butt by the time I was finished and I came over to the benches and I wandered off by myself and sat on a chair. That was my first mistake. I had sat in a puddle, so it looked like I peeed myself. But anywho, I got so down, I felt so outted, so not part of that team that was goofing off by the water coolers. I felt like I was standing on the outside looking in. With all that plus the throbbing pain in my leg that up until then I had been ignoring, tears just started flowing. No noise, mind you. Just salt water. Of course, no one took notice. Well, after that, we finished practice and I got in my car and drove to work. Tonight, I had my favorite class, which I have to miss next week because of a stupid orientation thing at college. I have three little girls, about 8. I have fun with that class, I get to really teach them how to swim. Some of my younger classes don't really understand what I'm talking about and its hard to explain it to them so they will understand you. By the time I was finished, I had forgotten all about my horrid day, but I remembered, don't you worry, as soon as I got back in my car. I came home to the regular crap, demanding parents, messy room and house, bratty brother, the norm. It all just makes me want to scream! Well, my favorite show is coming on, Crossing Jordan, NBC at 10 pm est. Ha, well, yeah, so it's a show about dead people. So what?