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10 reasons why I hate YOU!

10. You can sleep past 10am in the morning no matter what time you went to bed.

And you have no understanding of what it is like for someone who can’t.

9. You have no understanding of Australian Politics.

And so are unaware that the Australian Democrats currently have the leadership dream team that would possibly win them the next election but are wasting it due to a complete lack of commonsense and party in-fighting.

8. You have the intellectual level that allows you to enjoy reality TV.

Oh, how nice it would be to zombify oneself into thinking 90% of current Australian content is not only worthwhile but enjoyable.

7. You don’t even know who Alexander Downer is, let alone seen him in a dress or know his sexual orientation

Shudder

6. You can drink red wine.

Bastards.

5. You’re not a workaholic.

Let alone be a workaholic in a job you are not even sure you enjoy.

4. You are unaware or unable to comprehend the path that the current world leadership is taking us down.

Oh to be ignorant of the effects of the failure of the Kyoto agreement, Japanese whaling, another Bush in the White House, rising sea level, toxin levels in water, the dying gasp of the Murry-Darling system, Immigration, Health Care, Education, Defense, Dr Kemp’s facial hair. No wonder you can sleep past ten.

3. You don’t look stupid in all hats

But probably don’t wear them anyway

2. You have the absolutely possibility of being in a relationship if you aren’t already in one.

Don’t waste time, make the most of it. Be yourself, and it will all be good.

1. You don’t wake up pissed off at the world on a daily basis and have the compulsion to share the fact with as many people as possible.

God I hate you all.