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Limericks
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You don't have to be agrarian
to become vegetarian
if your best playmate
could end on your plate
and
If you are a lady who thinks
she's chic when she over-drinks,
this rhyme should tell you,
that's really not true.
Winner's Reward is ego-trip and kind words, only!
This Week's Whimsies:
You never see a goldfish wink
they can't close an eye,
you can't see them cry
and water's all they ever drink!
Gerald Bosacker
Ogden Nash says of the pelican
that his beak holds more,
than stomach can store
but don't say how the Hell he can.
Gerald Bosacker
Thought for the Week...
The reason kids might learn to lie
is examples they see from both you and me
of when we spin each alibi.
Gerald Bosacker
YOU SAY YOU WANT SERIOUS POETRY??
WE DO FORGET
At day's end could we peaceful sleep
had not we cleansed and buried deep
each thoughtless word from that day's slate
on billboards we, with gall, create?
Do friends whom our approval seek,
deserve from us for query meek,
our mean retort, creating debt
of hasty words we'd best regret.
Do we ignore our past misdeeds
when pious mob new target needs
so all can *pharisize with stone
their sin, yet kind, forgive our own?
What guilty wretch could we convict
if deeds, so wrong. ourselves depict?
We host our memories but never let
our guilt survive, we do forget.
Could we, when praised for worthy acts,
abashed recall demeaning facts,
or righteous glow, ourselves entranced
by our past deeds, by time enhanced?
At last when at the Judgement throne
when asked what sins we must atone,
since Life demands all payments met,
it's kindest gift, we can forget!
If death would let us fresh begin,
to heal past hurts, erase each sin,
would one of us refuse that break,
the past undo, accounts remake?
For when we're laid to endless sleep
but sleepless lay though buried deep,
and past misdeeds still cause regret
it's nice to know, folks do forget.
Gerald Bosacker
*Verbalization of the act of a Pharisee.
This week's Serious Observation:
ADRIFT
When slanting sail slumps slack,
why blame the wayward breeze
that hears not curse or prayer.
You chose the course and tack,
and begged the God of Seas
to send you clement air.
Who said that sturdy gale,
would straight and constant last
while fickle sea you roam.
Was it wind who dared you sail,
in seas that calmed too fast,
to see you quickly home
Gerald Bosacker
Or do you like to Brood?
FOR SHAME
Strict Christians fell sick
while still on their knees
and watched the World die
from black plague disease,
and blamed the Jew,
not rats with virulent fleas.
No prophet foretold
or gave it a name,
exempting their God,
who else could they blame
but Jew or Witch they cleansed
with hallowed flame.
In six-hundred years
we've grown so very wise,
that seed of each disaster, we recognize
but it's still Jews we demonize.
Gerald Bosacker
Al's smoking made beholders choke.
He insisted on his right to smoke.
Friends begged him to quit,
he heard none of it
now buried here, his habits broke!
Gerald Bosacker
Art's wife twice asked, in fact, she nagged
him to fix her clothesline which sagged..
It drooped to chin height
and one dismal night
chasing his dog, his neck he snagged.
Gerald Bosacker
On Barb's long jogs, this rule she'd cheat:
To look both ways, then cross the street.
Beth ended up struck
by a moving truck,
she had not seen, so could not beat.
Gerald Bosacker
Bea hiked with care, except just once
went in the woods, but like a dunce
dressed-up to look great
and learned, but too late,
don't wear fur coats where man deer hunts.
Gerald Bosacker
OR SHOULD WE LAUGH TOGETHER??
GET THE NAME RIGHT
I'm not big on formality
but please don't use my nasty name
I'm your pal, your friend, BD,
and don't deserve that tag of shame.
One little thing, that sure bugs me,
although I know you are my boss.
Your lady friend, you must agree
is someone you're afraid to cross.
She doesn't like, my hug and kiss
and meanly stands upon my toes.
And when I sniff, this irate miss
she slaps me on my tendered nose.
And when she yells, "Hey, punish him!"
I hear polite your monologue
but summon me, with acronym,
I hate it when you say "Bad Dog!"
Gerald Bosacker 1998
I'M KING OF SWAT!
I do not kill instinctively,
and never once, maliciously.
But Mosquitoes who choose to sample me,
I quickly squish with hand clap glee.
Taking joy from sadistic swat,
denies compassion which I've got
but manage to suppress a lot
while sleeping naked when it's hot!
Mosquitos who might try to drain
that wine of life from my blood vein
should heed this rhyme and wise refrain
from picking me for their champagne.
Gerald Bosacker 1998
DISCLAIMER: Dr. Wryme, poet, anthologist, and known prevaricator, sends us this rhyme from his collection of spurious limericks by famous people.
OUR KAMPF
Hitler sought an Aryan State
but went too far with ethnic hate.
He lost out at last by going too fast
but some of us still think him great
Marge Shott,
Owner of the Cincinatti Reds
Embarrased Baseball Officials suspended Marge Shott from participation in the 1993 baseball season. A punishment that was probably beneficial to her players and their fans, for glorifying the achievements of Adolph Hitler during the the first part of his dictatorship. In order to regain her position as Monarch of the Cincy Reds, she was forced to take sensitivity training. It didn't take. In a recent interview, Marge continued her adulation, saying, "Everything you read, when he first came in, he was good. They built tremendous highways and gotall the factories going. He went nuts. He went berserk. Ithink his own Generals tried to kill him, didn't they?Every one knows he was good at the beginning but he just went too far." Yes Marge, your hero went too far--and so did you! A good part of those factories he built during his first threeyears in power were the single purpose of causing death, not only on the battlefield, but also in Concentration Camps. Too bad Baseball officials couldn't show Marge the same kind of correction Hitler used on those who talked too much.
If you have interest in re-printing this or other excerpts from my anthology, please contact: Doctor Wryme
MYSTERY CELEBRITY:
I found their sins, filed them away
blackmail kept all my foes at bay
but I sinned myself with my little elf
because I was secretly gay.
WHO AM I?
When called for my show, few stars balk
hard quizzing don't cause them to squawk,
but book's kiss and tell,
names each jezebel
which tempts them to tell I'm all talk!
WHO AM I?
This Week's Whimsys
If you gossip, you lose a friend,
for secrets relayed mean trusts are betrayed,
and tattling makes best friendships end.
When packing bags envy the spider
who somehow can hold and neatly unfold
that intricate web packed inside her.
Gerald Bosacker
Evidence of DrWryme's insatiable propensity to express himself in rhyme, even hiding same in faux free verse, can be found also at:
"Rhyme & Reason" Astrological & Related Poetry
Poetry, Prose, and Free Verse for Senior Citi...
ShowEMall! Writers' Block ~ Group 146 Menu
WHAT CAN I WRITE FOR YOU??
Reasonable Rates, Kind Words Tendered.
MAIL TO: drwryme@aol.com