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 HASH MAG ARCHIVE 1996: RUN NO.642 Run Date: 26 February 1996 Deferred Entry Into The Sheeps Tor Triangle It was wonderful to be back in the bosom of Drake. This, of course, is not a lie since it was written unintentionally and I did not know that I was misleading you at the time and that I was indeed not telling the truth. If I had tried consciously not to be totally honest I would resign immediately and not have to write this hash mag. So that's alright then. Like the pyramids and the Archers, nothing had changed. There was a strong smell of horse embrocation wafting about at the car park below Sheeps Tor. Judging by the urgency of some of the warming up quite a few hashers had mistakenly applied the 'Deep Heat' to the internal surfaces of their athletic supports. Not that your average Drake hasher has much to support (so I have been reliably informed - source: Skippy). This was the first trail that Deferred Entry had laid and I thought he coped with the abuse admirably. Up the side of Sheeps Tor, Zippy could be heard ranting about the raving homos in front, just because he wasn't (in front - that is!). It would seem more logical to worry about them if they were at the back. A long loop so confused the combined talent on offer, that the poor old hare had to rescue two lost souls whilst the rest wandered round bleating and breaking wind till the man returned to lead the way down into the forest. Emerging from the trees into prairie old Def. Ent. had laid a contrived, devious loop down to Nattor Brook and back. Goes to show that you can't rely on today's yoof to play with a straight bat and treat the old farts contingency with more consideration. On the way back around Sheeps Tor it became obvious to those who noticed, that the Wilderness Man a.k.a. IAT was no longer with us. Has he ever been?, I hear you ask. Upon reaching the cars it became clear that Heinz had also been claimed by the Sheeps Tor Triangle. A responsible Hash would have set up a command post, sent out search parties, contacted the Dartmoor Rescue Group and readied a Sea King helicopter on standby. Good old Drake all buggered off to the pub. Excuse No.1: Heinz- "Being out front, I followed a trail of sawdust which, after a substantial distance, I realised was several weeks old and not ours. No wonder the bastards couldn't catch me." Excuse No. 2: IAT - (The man has refused to comment since he failed to appear at the pub. Skippy found him in his car without trousers or shoes) "I can't come in to the pub, I haven't got any trousers or shoes on". Brilliant. Apparently, he followed a flashing light but it turned out to be a dog. I know, I know, try asking IAT. Plenty of the usual smut and innuendo flying at the bar. Here is a tiny fraction of it, all accurately and truthfully retold: Twice-A-Week (1): "Have a look at my little slit" (sic) Twice-A-Week(2): "I want a fast person for the weekend" Twice-A-Week (3): "I like someone at the front and someone at the back" Tinkerbell to Yakki: "Who did you get off with then?" Yakki:"I was very innocent. I was very disgusted" Uncle Dave: "I always come on my bike" Deadly:"Shagging? Where?!!!" Nothing really changes does it?!!!
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