|
|
|
 HASH MAG ARCHIVE 1995: RUN NO.587 Run Date: 23 January 1995 The Strange Case Of The Shrivelled Member As the appointed hour approached a healthy number of hardy hashers assembled at Norsworthy Bridge. The hare, advertised as 'Who Knows' (nice name for someone, don't you think?), turned out not to be a new hasher, but none other than Begorrah. On the dot of 7.29pm, he led off smartly with a crisp "On On". It was a cold and windy night, with rain threatening - parky as they say up north. Not Norman was there dressed in summer gear, and whilst sheltering behind a rock watching some keenies working at a check, received an inspection of his nether regions by Dishy. "That's my willy" he declared. "Well, it's so small and shrivelled in these conditions, I can't make it out" she replied, "and that's a fact'. There was a lot of descending going on. Yakki was descending on Thirsty Glass, only to hear; "I don't want to lay a hash missus". But almost instantly, to their mutual surprise, Thirsty Glass was also descending on Yakki. Perhaps he wanted to do another sort of laying. Later on, his light went out - serves him right! Snakehips had made it to the hash for a change - nomally he only manages the pub. He was posing as usual. IAT was clearly unwell. Firstly he was at one stage in front; secondly he did not give the hare even a mild rebuke never mind the normal bollocking; thirdly he was there at the end, and a search party did not have to be called. Sarah was going well . She took one of the long splits, and it was not by mistake. Apparently, she has been training. Dianne Modahl watch out! Actually it was a bloody awful PROFESSIONALLY laid hash, just the sort of thing you'd expect from this hare. People were kept running all the time at their various speeds, with no opportunity for more enjoyable activities. You can see he's a teacher. It stands out a mile. I have no record of other sleazy activities. And sleaze is what the voters want, isn't it? Back in the pub, there was no sign of Dishy and Mole. Apparently they have had a baby which weighs several pounds, is black, white and cuddly, and whose barking keeps them up all night. Miss from Tamar Valley Hash House Harriers had been on the run, forgoing her 300th run with TVH3 - apparently they keep detailed statistics - how boring. She said she kept up by taking all the shorts (so that is where they went - I thought everyone was taking up nudism!). Drake must be slipping, what we need is macho hashers. Come back Zippy - all is forgiven. Miss's man, Hobo, made it to the pub, but had been otherwise engaged with his scouts on mountain bikes earlier on - that was his story. Sue, Andy and Tim were there, moaning at the lack of imagination of DH3. They come regularly now, but HAVE NOT BEEN CHRISTENED YET. Andy has a colostomy bag which burst part way round. If you believe that, you will believe anything. You could call him 'Endocolon'. Tim might respond to 'Beast', but he looked quite innocuous to me. The most popular item on the menu was Cumberland sausage which looks like - well, use your imagination. Deadly was upset as apparently Skippy was offering her favours around to all and sundry. Whatever he thought, it was a truly inspired way of collecting the hash subs, as male hashers were clustered round her like bees around a honey pot. So Deadly and Rover turned their attentions elsewhere, and commenced a collective lust of frightening proportions. The object of their attentions, a smartly dressed young woman demurely occupying a corner with her partner, rapidly lost her composure and departed. I sometimes wonder if the Dartmoor publicans have mixed feelings about the hashing fraternity - great for a quick buck, but what about the long term effect on the locals? Yakki and her C team had a last, last, last committee meeting - it has been a great year for them. What surprises are in store next Monday?
|
