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 HASH MAG ARCHIVE 1994: RUN NO.546 Run Date: 4 April 1994 Overcoming Enormous Obstacles.... If I'd had the slightest idea that I'd be scribing tonight I'd certainly of taken more notice of what was going on in the hash. As it happens I went round it in some kind of muscular trance, suffering all the way after competing in a road race that very same day! (I'd forgotten how bloody boring they were). Anyway, back to the hash... Only the select few gathered at Norsworthy Bridge car park for the Bank Holiday run. Obviously everyone else had found something better to do! Everyone was milling about hare-lessly until I remembered I was supposed to say something if Limpalong hadn't turned up. HT2 told me to tell everyone to follow the new fluffy stuff instead of the dull soggy stuff. (I don't think its fair to call our male hashers dull and soggy, do you)? Anyway, I said my bit and off they trotted following in the direction of a 'starter arrow'. To no surprise to me, the trail led up to Down Tor - or is that down to Up Tor? I overheard Skippy cursing to herself on the way up that this was worse than the Bodmin Five Tors Race she did a few weeks ago! She was trying to scramble up a near vertical E5 pitch without a safety line (The climbers of the hash will understand the technical terms). I gave her some verbal encouragement then we carried on. Our next obstacle off Down Tor was the 'usually' sedate stream running in the valley. As you may of guessed, it wasn't sedate in the slightest. On the contrary, it was big and flowing fast! I must admit to being a bit of a whimp here. After seeing Wild Bill expertly jump its width and only just survive, I decided to wade it instead. I think Skippy and Muscles did the same. Over the stream we hit upon some farmhouse ruins, where we re-grouped because the front runners couldn't find the check!! (Can't find the right staff these days)! Sub found it eventually and we all headed upwards....all but one that is: IAT had other ideas. He headed off in the opposite direction, at the same time trying to convince us that it was the obvious place for the trail to go! I don't need to add that we didn't see him for a while. The next obstacle that springs to mind is the precariously placed wobbly metal thing that spanned another 'fast flowing' stream. After watching Wild Bill balance carefully over it, I decided it would take my weight! I was half way across when Wild Bill started jumping up and down on it at the other end. Then to make matters worse, he made his way to the middle to where I was, and insisted on re-enacting that scene in Robin Hood with the poles. Can you image it??? We didn't have any poles, so I tried to fight him off with my new bell. The only reaction it got was that Wild Bill said it gave him earache. It was about this time (half way through the hash) that I'd begun to notice a protective shepherd-type figure now and again. He was always poised patiently in prominent spots guiding the needy. The needy being the hashers near the rear. The figure would stand dominantly pointing us in the right direction after the front runners had selfishly left us for dead. This shepherd-like person was none other than our very own Snakehips. I don't even think he was under any special orders from the hares either, he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart! The bit I would protest at on the hash was the woods. It was awful because some people were putting on their lights far too early and ruining the night vision for everyone else, and secondly it was near impossible to run the woods - if you were foolish enough to try, odds on you'd slip on a slimy trunk and break your neck. I opted to follow Cream Soda, if he slipped I'd just walk over him! Luckily, the woods didn't last too long. Great, I thought, no more annoying bits, but then what did we come up against? You guessed it, a bloody great big river. It was enormous. OK, so I'm exaggerating slightly, but what seemed like a stream to you where it only comes up to your thighs, is a real problem for a four foot dwarf like me. I tried to remember all my river crossing drills from college but only recalled that you should face up stream. Clanger, and of course our shepherd, assisted me, but I still managed to get my knickers wet and much more besides, but I'm not saying what. I think Fluffy followed me across the river, but I'm afraid I didn't stop to watch because I was cold and icicles had started to form on various parts of my body. Ten minutes later I was back at the cars. Sub and Dirty Glass fell over themselves trying to tell me that they'd got back first, outsmarting Rover in the process and almost catching the hares too. Sub was a bit sore that Dirty Glass had stayed with him for the race to the finish. Who said this wasn't competitive and everyone doesn't run on their ego?!!!! At the first on down, which was the Walkhampton Inn, we only had time to smell the beer before we were shepherded out; not by Snakehips but by HT2. Unluckily, Stannary Hash had got there first, causing such a riot that the landlord wouldn't allow us to stop. Off we went to our second inn, The Rock at Yelverton. It seems that HT2 and Endo had raided a paper mill to produce that night's hash mag.........it was enormous! A whole page was allocated to the Duck alone! The mag was packed with info concerning Drake's 555th run weekend. If you haven't yet heard, you are either deaf or stupid!! So get a life!! It was nice to see Toxic Vinegar making her appearance, hopefully she'll be joining us now it's getting lighter. We also had a visitor from another hash called Steve, hopefully we didn't put him off too much, so he'll come again. I'm afraid the Ovaltinies lived up to their names again, as we parted early - not even stopping for hash grub! .........And here the hash mag has to end, until next time.........ON ON! HASH WORD of the day : ENORMOUS Luv from Tinkerbell
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