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 HASH MAG ARCHIVE 1993: RUN NO.501 Run Date: 24 May 1993 Cuckoos In The Nest When it became known that I was the scribe several pieces of paper were thrust at me for inclusion in the words. I was not aware that this was a request magazine. Perhaps we should have a hashers letter column in which the scribe can give advice to lovelorn hashers: Dear Scribe, My wife / husband / partner does not understand why I like to run over the moor every Monday night with a bunch of idiots with funny sounding names who shout "On On" at frequent intervals, ending up at a pub where they consume vast quantities of alcohol. What should I do? Yours, in desperation, Soppy The Scribe Replies: Dear Soppy, Divorce her / him / it! Yours, with deepest sympathy, The Scribe Talking about funny sounding names, one of these pieces of paper contained suggestions from Limpalong for hash narnes for New Keith and Paul, but as we never take any notice of Limpalong's suggestions I propose we carry on ignoring them in the hope that he will stop making them. He wanted to call New Keith, Hannibal, for reasons too boring to go into, and change Paul's name from Thirstyglass to Glasshopper. Personally I prefer the former, and as for New Keith, let's keep that and call Limpalong Old Keith! Thirstyglass says his marriage hasn't changed anything, except that now he's doing it legally. He's also getting up in the middle of the night to have a 'Pea'. The other piece of paper was a map of the hash run which was given to me by HT2 in the forlorn hope that I would write about it in the hash mag. I did have a quick look at it but as it consisted of a circle of red arrows I was no wiser than I had been on the run. The start was at Lane End, Hornden but Skippy and I had noticed, as had others, blobs of sawdust and an arrow in the vicinity of Mary Tavy so there was much apprehension that the trail would be a repeat of Drake's five hundredth run. Zippy and Muscles arrived with what appeared to be a back seat full of dogs, but there were only three dogs plus Groupie. The hares arrived ten minutes late which meant that Mimi, who always arrives ten minutes late, was on time for a change. Why he had deserted Tamar Valley H3 for the night was not revealed. We can only hope that it is not permanent. As usual, I was not in a position to comment on the run once again struggling in the rear trying to keep in touch with Mudflaps and Skippy and ahead of Cream Soda. At the Elephants Nest at Horndon hashers made up at least three quarters of the customers, and a couple in the minority were sitting in the corner looking thoroughly bemused by the invasion. Eventually they could keep quiet no longer. "Who or what are you?", they enquired. "We think you are either on a dog agility training exercise or auditioning for the next production of The Hound of The Baskervilles". Not wishing to be thought of as weirdos, we hastily explained that we were hash house harriers who had spent the last five hundred Monday nights following sawdust trails. This encouraged the couple to suggest all sorts of alternatives to the norm i.e. not norm, like laying aniseed trails for the dogs to follow. People like this could give hashing a bad name! The Albaston Relay race raised its ugly head. Cream Soda's team was being designated as the C3's (isn't that the classification for those who fail the medical for the forces?) - how appropriate. However, Cream Soda objected to this and we are now to be known as The Rejects. Somehow this doesn't sound any better. Cream Soda is running, and I use the term loosely, the last leg so that at least no one has to wait for him and we can all go home. HT2, Skippy and Muscles have been training for the relay and they invited me to join them, and I must say I was tempted. However, to run in the Albaston Relay is one thing but to train for it?!!!
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