|
|
|
 HASH MAG ARCHIVE 1989: RUN NO.319 Run Date: 26 December 1989 The Famous Five Have A Smashing Time The portents were not good for this run. The day had started badly, when having enquired of HT2 & Endosperm as to the time of the Burrator Boxing Day Fun Run, I arrived just before noon to find that the run had started at 10.30am, and consequently there was not a straggler in sight. After waiting around to see if my misinformants would turn up so I could give them a good kick up their matching shorts (I must say that some people have long memories - who would have thought HT2 would have waited so long to get her own back for that incident at the Battle of Wounded Knee?), I eventually ran around the reservoir with my son Malcolm, who, to add insult to injury, beat me. To look on the bright side, however, at least I got the right day, unlike when I tried to take part in the Venford orienteering event! The day did not improve, as my horse was beaten in the King George VI steeplechase and my other son beat me at chess. So it was that with much trepidation I set off for New Waste Gate, fully expecting that the hash had been transferred to Harford Moor, or had been run the night before, or had been cancelled due to the hare staying in the Royal Oak too long. But no, on arriving at 7.25pm, I found the Farting Ferret already there and awaiting the arrival of hordes of hashers. Ten minutes later our numbers had been swelled with the arrival of Rover (the hare), Snakehips and Not Norman. Snakehips, for once not being able to use injury as an excuse for not hashing, and realising that drastic measures were required to avoid having to do the trail, proceeded to lock his car keys in his car. Thus our numbers were reduced to three hounds and a hare (and a partridge in a pear tree?). Attempts were made to persuade him to run, but he said he needed to think about how to get his keys out of the car, and he couldn't run and think at the same time. I have come across this aberration before in Mimi who admits he is unable or unwilling to use his brain when laying a trail (which if you've ever laid a trail with him is pretty obvious). Mimi offered to be a 'packhorse' for my run tonight because he owes me a favour - one hesitates to contemplate what he would do if he bore me a grudge! Having spent a fruitless quarter of an hour trying to break into Snakehips car, the skeleton hash finally set off in the direction of the reservoir, from where it was a climb up to the stone row at Stalldown Barrow. From time to time the others had to wait for your scribe to catch up, as due to my earlier exertions around Burrator, a faltering torch and general lack of condition, I was being left somewhere in the rear. This was particularly galling to the Ferret, who was heard to mention more than once that it would have been better if I had locked my keys in my car! We reached Dendles Wood where the hare attempted to direct me home, but not having Deadly's persuasiveness, he failed. Half an hour later, after making agonisingly slow progress through the woods and across the river Yealm, I emerged from the woods a few hundred yards from the point of entry, at the same time wishing I had taken the hare's advice. Back at the cars after one and three quarter hours thought, Snakehips had decided to smash his car's window, whereupon Not Norman offered to do the dirty deed so that Snakehips could lay the blame on vandals. Years of coshing old ladies on the head and snatching their handbags had prepared Norman for this. At the Mountain Inn, the landlord said that he had been confident that we would not let him down, which shows how gullible some people are. F Ferret bought a round of drinks for the whole hash, which cost him £2.50. He then announced that he was off skiing for three weeks, which means he has missed out on tonight's run, which I am confident you will agree has been the best run of the year!
|
