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 HASH MAG ARCHIVE 1989: RUN NO.305 Run Date: 18 September 1989 Rampant, Stunning & Nubile It is deep regret we must report that IAT has not been seen since the Dumbo/Rudolf nuptual and his Dartmoor Half Marathon the day afterwards. Was it his flamboyant leg-shaking on the dance floor (our attendant lady hashers have still not got over this), or was it his spirited crossing of our famous moor? His braveness will always be remembered - I wonder if he's left his Sunbeam Alpine to Drake H3? Maybe they also drive to Hashes without hoods in that Great Bog in the Sky..... Probably a time starved scribe would not have canvassed for pre-Hash info, and so he would not then have been burdened with the news of our very own Filmstars of Stage & Screen viz. Hubcaps and Deadly.They have both been signed up by BBC TV (yes these are facts) - Deadly on Panorama's Orienteering For The Over Fifties (or My Zimmer Frame Has A Clip Board Fitted) and Hubcaps, whose role is not as yet clear... but she was not impressed when a genuine BBC stuffed rabbit frightened her Laylah. No - I didn't understand this either! 7.29pm saw us a bit damp up in a cloud on Walkhampton Moor. A dripping wet Snakehips greeted us with a fiendish grin and sawdust all over his person. A sizeable presence of twenty one Hashers with four new chaps (Hash names later - very much later!), and the return of Not Norman. He reckons he actually hashed in Austria! He said he was in a very interesting bog and noticed that it had...an electric eye! Then when he stepped backwards....the bog flushed! Well, the Hare's grin was with purpose. Somehow the combination of cunning loops with a record number of bogs had been achieved. It was dark nearly immediately, which enabled the first loop to return us nearly to base, knackered. Anyway it was down, on, up, over; the ground was so cunningly set that whichever way we went we were on it. It was getting very close to imbibement time before we found the bogs, and we'd only crossed and re-crossed the streams twice. However, your scribe had been 'knee-capped' trying to workout a leat crossing, so this must be taken into account. It was just after the bogs (they were of the most floating and swaying type!) that our resident anaesthetist, AYA (Are you Awake), quickly decided that his knowledge of Crocodile Dundee was of more use than all that medical training, when he was charged by two rampant black cows. Immediately he held up his arms ...... and they were mesmerised, which was what you might call a stunning success. Well, it saves on the Nitrous Oxide! I was amazed when the cars were suddenly in front of us - and I think F. Ferret was pleased too. He'd been running slowly, and had said this was because he had lifted something heavy; but what with his recent outward-mobility and that nubile young lady he was seen with in the Skylark last Sunday night... A very invigorating run but how did he manage to lay it at 6.30 that night? The Plume of Feathers was revisited and they switched on the chip-fryer as the first hasher hit the car park. Pleasantries were exchanged e.g. Deadly commented on Slurper's lovely eyes. HT2 started a mix 'n' match navel competition until we were overwhelmed by The Riot. Why does Tamar Valley H3 arrive at 9.30? It is said they were so lost that only the best keenies made it to the pub. Are there still one hundred and forty two hashers still out there in a bog? Deerhunter was pleased at their arrival because he was able to distribute (palm off?) the remainder of our Hash Mags. Garfield was so phased by the attentions that Digger (or JCB - the Eddie the Eagle lookalike) was paying to his daughter that he refused to deny rumours that he had recently received a fifteen percent pay rise. A reliable O.H.M.S. source confirms that hash subs will have to be increased pro-rata to cover this. Recently a Drake H3 hasher tried to rescue a Tamar Valley hasher from a very wet bog. Desperately he attempted resuscitation by artificial respiration, and with flailing arms managed to pump water from the victim's mouth. "Come and take over someone!" he cried, his strength ebbing. But no one stepped forward until Garfield (a self confessed expert in hydro-pneumatics) arrived, and declared - "Pull him further out of the bog - you're sucking water in at one end and pumping it out of the other!".
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