A
transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Booking
Office of the Osho Multiversity Plaza in Pune
Hello, and
welcome to the Booking Office of the Osho Multiversity hotline where you can
find All the best therapy groups and meditation groups avalable on the market
to day.
If you are
obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
Mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no-one
will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of
birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep.
Or after the
beep.
Please wait
for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem.
Please hang
up.
All our
operators are too busy to talk to you.
For help
with recovering repressed memories, press the number seems most right to you,
perhaps 8.
But don't
press 8 just because we suggested you press 8.
Just let
your inner knowledge tell you if 8 is the right number to press now.
If you are neurotic, it doesn't matter which button you press as you'll just
get it wrong anyway.
Besides we
only use this system because we don't want to talk to you personally.
For hypnotherapy, slowly ......press 9 , ..............8 , ................7 ,
..............6 , ..............relaxing more .......and more .......with each
number ..........5 , .............4 , ..........doing very well , ..........3,
...........2 , ..........."
Thanks
dyren |
