Scene 1: Downtown in Tokyo-3 Shinji: Seventh Children? I never realized there would be so many EVAs... Asuka: I don't like it at all. The fact that there would be more pilots will mean...(less glory for myself)... Shinji: Huh? What did you say? You kinda trailed off. Asuka: N..nothing. Let's hurry or we'll be late for school. [The two continue their walk to school...] Scene 2: Classroom 3A Class Rep: Rise, bow, sit! Old Teacher: Now class, let's continue our lecture about the second impact...((continues speaking)) Toji: ((Turns head to Kensuke)) Second Impact is so boring... Old Teacher: Toji!! Toji: Yes!? Old Teacher: What do you have to say? Everyone: W...o....w! Student 1: (Do you think teacher heard Toji talking?) Student 2: (I don't know! It seems like it!) Student 3: (The he can still hear?!) Toji: Um.....uh...... Shinji: ....! Asuka: ((smiles sardonically)) Rei: ... Kensuke: ....! Toji: Uh...can I go to da bathroom? The class: ((Anime water droplets)) Old Teacher: Yes you may. Toji: ((Scurries off immediately)) The class: .......................... Hikari: I think he's embarrassed. Kensuke: Just because you're not Class Rep anymore... Hikari: Shut up! Asuka: Leave her alone! Kensuke: But-- Class Rep: That's enough! The class: Scene 3: Downtown in Tokyo-3 Toji: It's bad enuff dat I should be playin' hooky. I wonder if they realize I've been gone for an hour...hmmm.... [Toji's warped vision of what is happening in Classroom 3A.......] Everyone: ((Asleep)) Teacher: ...the hardships of the generation of your parents... [Back in the reality of Downtown Tokyo-3......] Toji: Haha! Wut was I thinking! They're fine! ((Continues walking casually)) (Toji approaches a shop and gazes at the food display from outside) Toji: Wow, that sandwich looks good. I haven't even had breakfast yet. I think I'll buy something. ((Takes out his wallet and inspects its contents)) Just enough for one! Man: ((Steals Toji's wallet and takes off)) Thanks kid! Toji: YOU #$%&@!!!!!!! I'll @#$% ya UP!! Man: A kid like you? Yeah right!--- (A rain of bricks buries the man) Toji: Wut da @#$%?!!! Who did dat?! ((Looks up at the sky)) Albino boy: Over here, buddy!! Toji: KID?! (An albino 15 year old boy is kneeling from the top of a neighboring building. He is wearing a loose black shirt and black denims. He has short hair except for the long strands on his widow's peak that falls over his face.) Albino boy: You shouldn't be out here by yourself. Even a dummy would know that! (Though I'm not familiar with this place). Get your money and go back to class, buddy. Toji: Buddy?!!!!!! Ya listen here, ya @#$%!! I'm no friend of yers, an' I don't need to see yer mug rite now! So I'm leavin'! ((Leaves)) Albino boy: ... Toji: Oh ya, dat's rite! I'm takin my money with me too. But I don't owe ya nothing!! ((Removes some bricks from the pile and retrieves his wallet)) Albino boy: Sure. Toji: FINE!! ((Scurries off from the forming crowd)) Scene 4: Classroom 3A Toji: ((enters with a frown))..... Asuka: What's the matter, stooge? Did you fell in the toilet?! The class: Toji: IT'S NOTHING!! ((clenches fist)) Class Rep: QUIET PLEASE!! Toji: ((Returns to his seat)) Kensuke: ((Stares curiously at Toji, then types a message to him)) What took you so long? Did you ditch class? Toji: ((Replies)) yeaH. I tell u latter. Kensuke: Use Spell Check. Asuka: ((types a message for Toji)) Did you enjoy your one-hour dump? Toji: Screw you!! Kensuke: What did I do?! Toji: Not you! Asuka! Kensuke: Oh, okay. Scene 5: Nerv Headquarters Intercom: All nerve patterns normal. No danger of Angel infection. Harmonics levels normal. All systems clear. Evangelion Unit-8 successfully activated. Dr. Akagi: Commence entry plug extraction. Remove Seventh Children and report to private quarters sector until further notice. How does it feel Joseph? Joseph: I feel strange. Scene 6: Misato's Apartment Shinji: Was that all? Toji: Yeah, dat's about it. Kensuke: You shouldn't have left class. Toji: Well, I'm fine so let's forget that I was about to get robbed. Shinji: Did you hear about the Seventh Children? Kensuke: WHAT!? Why don't they pick me?! ((slumps down)) Toji: Yer not lucky. Shinji: At least I wasn't the last to be notified like last time. Toji: Don't worry about that. My arm and leg is good as new. Kensuke: They used cloning to replicate your missing parts. Doesn't it feel kinda creepy? Toji: No..it's COOL! Shinji: Misato will be home soon. Do you want something to eat? Kensuke: ((Unfolds a piece of paper from his pocket.)) *It reads: Unit-0--Rei--1st Child Unit-1--Shinji--3rd Child Unit-2--Asuka--2nd Child Unit-3--Toji--4th Child Unit-4-- Unit-5--Kaworu, Dummy plug--5th Child Unit-6--Dummy plug Unit-7--Aoshi--6th Child Unit-8-- Kensuke: (I should have been the eighth....) I'm not hungry. Toji: ((Already helping himself in the pantry)) What didja say? Shinji: That's the doorbell. COMING! ((Opens the door)) Aoshi: ((Steps inside)) Hey Shinji, may I come in? My dorm in headquarters is so dark. Shinji: Sure. Misato is coming home soon and I have to clean up. Just sit on the couch. Toji: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!!! IT BIT ME!! Pen Pen: WARK! ((Runs outside the apartment)) Shinji: He uses that fridge for sleeping. Kensuke: We can't let it escape! C'mon Shinji! (The two boys go after the penguin) Aoshi: Are you going to help them Toji? Toji: Heck NO! Aoshi: Well, I'll stay here too. ((Sits on the dining chair "Indian Style")) Toji: ...((Stares at his throbbing finger)) ....ghhh.....ghhh.... ghhhyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ((Runs outside the apartment, waving his arms in an anger-stricken manner.)) Aoshi: Huh?! What a dullard... (The door was about to close until a hand stopped it) Misato: What was that all about? Aoshi: Oh, hello miss. Whatsisname, Toji, was bitten by your penguin. He just ran off. I dunno if it's blood rage. What a dullard. Oh yeah, Shinji and Kensuke are out. They're looking for Pen Pen. Misato: I thought that Shinji is suppose to clean up. Aoshi: Do you want me to look for him? Misato: No, that's alright. He'll be back. (Apartment door opens) Asuka: ((Carrying Pen Pen)) I'm home! I found him on the way. Misato: Welcome! Did you find Shinji or Kensuke? Asuka: The two of the three stooges?! Ha! Don't make me laugh! Aoshi: Waitaminute....This isn't the bathroom....uh...uh-oh..... Asuka: It's MY room you dork!! Get out!!! Aoshi: But....! Asuka: GET OUT! ((Shoves him outside the apartment)) Aoshi: But....! Asuka: ((Closes and locks the door)) ((Sulks and stomps to her room)) Misato: .....?! Scene 8: Apartment building perimeter Shinji: No good! I can't find him anywhere! Kensuke: Well, sorry, I tried. I gotta go home. It's getting late. Shinji: Thanks anyways. I gotta go back for dinner. (Kensuke and Shinji depart. Shinji returns to Misato's apartment. He doorbells.) Misato: Coming! ((Opens the door)) Shinji: Um....I'm sorry Misato...but....but...!! Pen Pen: Wark!! ((Runs across the dining room)) Shinji: ((Wide eyed with surprise)) Misato: What is it? Shinji: uh...nothing. Scene 9: Nerv Headquarters (Morning) Asuka: What? Another synchro-rate test? I can understand why we need to take it, but why twice a week?! Dr. Akagi: We have to be updated for any surprise angel attacks. Asuka: Fine!! Misato: The Seventh is late. Dr. Akagi: Yes. This will be his first time in a forgein country. Shinji: You mean...? Dr. Akagi: He's from the U.S. Toji: Wat? Another foreigner? Aoshi: I'm not surprised he's late. I think he's lost. Asuka: You bet! He doesn't know MY secret short cut. Toji: Ya mean OUR short-cut... Aoshi: If it's so secret, then I wonder who did the pavement? Asuka: YOU!! Aoshi: Wha?! Asuka: Hmph! Shinji: I wonder what kinda person the new Children is... Dr. Akagi: We'll have to start without him. Rei: ((Enters the locker room to change into her plug suit)) (The Children hesitate, then enter the lockers to change.) Dr. Akagi: Shinji, you've improved by a point. Shinji: Oh, that's nothing. Dr. Akagi: No improvements with the other Children. All the Children (Except Shinji): ....what.......!!!?? Misato: At least it's not decreasing! Asuka: Aren't you glad Shinji, the invincible!? ((Her eyes narrow and look devilish)) Dr. Akagi: Asuka, your rate decreased by eight just now. Asuka: WHAT?! Dr. Akagi: Just kidding. Misato: Ritsuko? Are you okay? Dr. Akagi: Can't I joke once in a while? Toji: You were just joking? I thought you meant it! Dr. Akagi: The Seventh just arrived. All the Children (except the Seventh): ((Looks at the monitor))......!! Toji: That albino #%&@!!!! Dr. Akagi: You've met Joseph? Joseph: It's you! ((Reads Toji's name from his synchro-rate monitor)) You're name is Toji?! Ha ha. Toji: I'll beat you up! Joseph: Really? ...((Plays a hand held cassette player)) Cassette Player, (Toji's voice): "Buddy?!!!!!! Ya listen here, ya @#$%!! I'm no friend of yers, an' I don't need to see yer mug rite now! So I'm leavin'! Oh ya, dat's rite! I'm takin my money with me too. But I don't owe ya nothing!!" Toji: That's not my voice!! Shinji: That IS you! Toji: That's not me!!! Aoshi: Have you even heard your voice? Toji: No... Joseph: Check this out. ((Rewinds cassette player and pushes "play")) Cassette Player (Toji's voice): "But I don't owe ya nothing!!" Joseph: That's a double negative in that sentence. It means that you DO owe me. Toji: So what? It doesn't mean anything! Joseph: Check out our verbal agreement... Cassette Player (Joseph's voice): "Sure." Cassette Player (Toji's voice): "FINE!!!" Joseph: ((Pushes stop and smiles an evil smile)) Asuka: ((stares at Toji with disgust)) Shinji: W...O..W! Aoshi: Coolness! Misato: You owe him, Toji! ((Snickers)) Asuka: He saved your sorry #$%!! Shinji: Asuka's right. Toji: You're all agaisnt me! Scene 10: School, Breaktime Aoshi: C'mon, Shinji! Let's go find Jo. Shinji: Alrite. You coming Toji? Toji: NO! Kensuke: I wanna meet this guy who took my only chance of happiness! Toji: I don't wanna be alone! Aoshi: Then you're coming? Toji:.............................................................. .............................. Kensuke: Well? Toji: ..................................... Aoshi: We haven't got all day! Toji: gh...wait for me. (The four walk side by side.) Asuka: Well, well, well. If it isn't the mafia! Aoshi: And Aoshi too. Hikari: Where are you all going? Shinji: We're looking for the Seventh Asuka: The red-eyed guy? You SHOULD meet him. He's not dull, and you could all learn from him. Aoshi: Hmm? Is that a compliment? From Asuka Soryou? Toji: Can you spell "crush," Asuka? Asuka:Can YOU?! Let's go Hikari! Shinji: Is that him over there? Aoshi: You can't miss that white-haired freak! Let's go! Shinji: And Ayanami too. Rei: Are you the same as me? Joseph: What? What are you talking about? Rei: ((Observes his red eyes and pale skin)) Joseph: Oh! Yeah, I'm albino. So what if I am? You're not one are you? I mean, you have BLUE hair. Is it really blue? Rei: ((Nods)) Joseph: Yup. That's as real as it can be. Aoshi: Joseph! Joseph: Oh, you! Aoshi: The name's Aoshi. Joseph: Alright, Aoshi. I wouldn't forget that guy. Toji right? Toji: ((Clenches a fist)) Joseph: And I know the Shinji. But I've never seen that one. The guy with the glasses. Aoshi: That's Shinji, and the other guy is Kensuke. Shinji: Are you...? Joseph: YES YES YES! I'm albino! Now leave me alone about it! Shinji: Not that...I mean...nevermind. Toji: Don't forget that you're a newbie, foreigner! We have rules! Aoshi: What rules? Toji: All foreigners have to undergo Toji's trial! Kensuke: What? Toji: You have to climb that mountain! ((points somewhere)) Joseph: But that's a hill... Toji: Then you have to remove your clothes and river dance on the peak! Joseph: Did Asuka have to do that? Toji: Of course she did! She fears me! Aoshi: I wonder what she'll say if she heard that? Joseph: You'll find out soon enough! ((Holds out his cassette player)) It's all in here! Toji: Wait! Wait! WAIT!!!!!!! Joseph: See ya later, Toji!! ((Takes off)) Toji: ((Chases Joseph)) Shinji, Kensuke, Rei, and Aoshi: ........!! [Elsewhere...] Asuka: .....and so you know what I said, Hikari? I said-- Joseph: Asuka!! Toji: You better shut up! Joseph: I was just gonna tell you that Toji agrees to OWE me. Toji: WHAT?! Joseph: Twice! Asuka: What makes you think I'll care!? Joseph: ((About to press "play" on his cassette player)) THIS--- Toji: --THAT's right!! Uh..I owe him! Ugh....twice! So let's go Joseph! What can I do for you, sir, master? Asuka and Hikari: ....?! Joseph: Tomorrow, I want you to moon the girls tomorrow. You see the pool? Tomorrow it will be occupied. I want you to perform a FULL moon. No half-moons, no butt cracks. Toji: WHAT?! Joseph: Yes, you'll do it. Or else... Toji: I'll be....glad....uh...to do it. Asuka: How'd you make him obey you? Joseph: That's a secret! Now, go my servant! Leave my presence! Toji: Y..yes, master. ((Clenches a fist)) Joseph: ((Watches him leave)) Hikari: What a horrible thing to do! Joseph: He would rather do that than have Asuka hear this. ((Shows his cassette player)) Asuka: What's in it? Joseph: Just this. ((Pushes "play")) Scene 11: Downtown Tokyo-3 Shinji: You're a slave now? Toji: Yeah. Kensuke: He's so evil! Toji: I would rather owe Shinji ten times than to owe that guy two. Kensuke: How long are you gonna play along with this game he's playing? Toji: I don't know! Shinji: He's playing a game, and we're the game pieces. Kensuke: He's like a mastermind. Toji: Well, he'll get bored with me later on. Scene 12: Misato's apartment Shinji: I'm home! But nobody's here... Asuka: Is he here? Shinji: Who? Asuka: Don't play dumb. Toji! Is he here? Shinji: No. Why? Asuka: Because of his dumb "Toji's Trial" that's what! Shinji: Wha?! So he let you listen to it? Asuka: Yeah. I must have revenge! And YOU will keep quiet! Shinji: But... Asuka: Yeah, you! Shinji: A....alrite. Asuka: I'm gonna construct my plan. If you interfere, I'll kill you. Shinji: ... Asuka: ((Stomps to her room)) Shinji: ((Sits down on a table and works on homework)) (All is quiet) Shinji: I can't concentrate. (Shinji gets up, enters his room, lies down on his bed, and stares at the ceiling) Scene 13: School, Classroom 3A Kensuke: Are you ready Toji? Toji: No..... Shinji: For what? Toji: Don't you remember? Shinji: Oh, yeah. Uh...good luck. Toji: GOOD LUCK?! Whadaya mean?! Kensuke: You should have just said nothing. Toji: Now I have two enemies. No thanks to him. I wonder if Asuka knows. Shinji: She knows. Toji: How would you know? Shinji: N..nothing. Asuka: ((Sneers at Toji)) Kensuke: Did you see that?! Toji: what? Kensuke: I thought I saw Asuka sneer at you, but she's gone. Shinji: It's break time. Toji: @#$%&!!!! [Outside at the benches...] Asuka: That idiot! If I can kill him right now-- Joseph: --what's the matter? You don't have the perfect revenge? Asuka: @#$% right. How'd you know? Joseph: I know a lot of things. Japan is a great country to be in. Asuka: In a few minutes he's gonna do your stunt. Joseph: Is that a good enough revenge? Asuka: NO! Joseph: You can't indulge in the fact that he's about to lose his dignity by revealing his rear to the opposite sex? Asuka: Not good enough! Joseph: Then may I suggest a plan? Asuka: What do you plan? Joseph: You see this video camera? ((Takes out a hand-held video camera from his backpack)) Asuka: Haha! Joseph: But I can't do this. Asuka: Why not? Joseph: I'm a guy, Asuka!! Asuka: Oh! But I can't do THAT! Joseph: You've seen him once haven't you? Asuka: How'd you know?! Joseph: Why not ask someone who was there when it happened? Asuka: (Recalls the incident in the fleet of ships that transported Eva-02)... Joseph: Anyways. If neither of us will record it, then we have to set up the camera on a fixed position so it captures a perfect view. Asuka: Why are YOU helping me? ((Getting suspicious)) Joseph: Well, I wasn't serious about him owing me twice. I just fooled him by taking his slang language literally. I'd thought he'd confront me and make a comment about myself, being a foreigner. If that happened, I would ask if the same applied to you. I can tell that he doesn't get along well with Asuka, so I set up a trap. Then I'll tell him that I will never have you listen to the tape, and then Toji and I are even. Asuka: Then why'd you have me listen to it? Joseph: Because I wanted to. Of course, you won't tell right? After you're about to have your revenge? Asuka: Ha, of course not! That makes us even! I won't tell anyone that I listened, in exchange, I get my veangance. Joseph: You haven't told your roomate have you? Asuka: Who? You mean Shinji? HA! He's dull. He wouldn't tell if he had the guts. But, what do I do with the tape? Joseph: what else? Show it to your class! Asuka: But Toji will know that I listened to his "trials." Joseph: Tell him that Shinji told you. He's a passive person right? Asuka: I'll do that then. Joseph: What about Rei? Asuka: Rei doesn't know how to talk. She'll obey anything you tell her. Joseph: Good. Let's get moving from these benches and head for the pool.