A Few Theories On Drinking

  1.   Drinking is Darwinism (survival of the fittest) at its best.  We have millions of brain cells, so by killing them with alcohol, we are mearely eliminating the weak ones we don't need.  Only the strong survive!
  2.   We only use 10-15% of our brain.  It doesn't matter if we kill a couple brain cells because there are so many we don't use anyway.
  3.   Water is the best cure for a hangover.  The best way to cure a hangover is to not get one in the first place.  Hangovers are from dehydration, and for every one beer you drink, you urinate the equivalent of one and a half beers.  So, after a night of pounding down lots of beer, drink lots of water.  I recomend at least two glasses.  Drinking water before drinking beer is also helpful.
  4.   Pace yourself.  I found that the best way to avoid sickness is to pace yourself.  When you start getting a good buzz, stop drinking for a little while.  When you start to sober up a little bit, you are prime to drink for the rest of the night without hurling.
  5.   The beer piss.  It is, or should be, common knowledge that "breaking the seal" or taking the first piss after you start drinking should be held as long as possible.  This is because once the seal is broken, you have to piss every 10 minutes for the rest of the night.  So, hold it 'till it HURTS!
  6.   The second beer piss.  A system I have adopted, holding the second piss of the night as long as the fabled first greatly decreases the frequency of future urination.

 

    If you have any theories of your own, please feel free to share them with me.   Contact