Survivor

challenge requirements:
Setting: the middle of the bush
People: well known comedians of your choice.
Things to say: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (like Tarzan), "The banana doesn't fit in there, stop trying to force it!" "You ate my sausage!" and 'that snake has got to be 12 foot long!'
Things to include: a used condom, sunscreen, grubs, loin cloth, a boxing kangaroo.

3 men in the middle of the bush during soaring heat… All they were given to survive on was one sausage… on Banana and some sunscreen. The have to work together to survive…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Paul yelled as he swung from the rope attached to the tree over the river and splashed into the water.

"FUCK PAUL!!! Did you have to splash me! Ech… how can you swim in there… that water is… gross… and we piss in there! And yesterday Rich took a shi…"

"TIM!!! PAUL!!! HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!" Richard called from somewhere near by and Tim and Paul made their way towards him…

"HEEEELLLPPP!!!!!" He called and there was Richard, standing against a tree with a large boa constrictor wrapped around him…

"Shit… That snake has got to be 12 foot long! What do we do Paul!"

"I don't know…" Paul said and shrugged

Suddenly, out of no-where a giant kangaroo bounded into the scene and started kicking the snake until it let go and fell limp and dead on the ground. The kangaroo then hopped away and disappeared as mysteriously as it came.

"Who was that masked Boxing Kangaroo!" Tim yelled and Rich gasped as he fell away from the tree.

"Ech… I'm covered in grubs!" Rich said as he began to peel the grubs off him and flick them away.

"Wait! Don't get rid of them… I heard that aborigines… *gasp* EAT GRUBS!" Paul said and the other 2 looked as though they were going to throw up.

"EEEEEEWWWW" Tim and Rich said… then looked at the grubs still attached to Richards loin cloth.

"Hmmm…" They both said and started gathering grubs and put them with the sausage, Banana and sunscreen.

Paul began to cook whilst Tim and Rich went searching for other things that could be used as food…

Paul heard a rustling and a loud thud followed by a loud "OH MY GOD!!!" and looked around to see Tim running out of the bushes laughing his head off holding something in the air.

"Hey Paul… Someone's been here having some fun hey!" He said holding up a used condom that flopped wildly around in his hand…

"Yech… put it away Tim I don't want to know what you and Rich have been doing." Paul said and went back to cooking… Of course… Being pre-occupied with the thought of Rich and Tim having sex… He burnt the grubs… and failed to notice a Dingo pinching the sausage of the fire.

"Paul! Is dinner ready yet? *gasp* YOU ATE MY SAUSAGE!" Tim yelled…
Richard heard the commotion and joined the group, also gasping at the site…

"YOU ATE MY SAUSAGE TOO!!!" He cried

"A dingo took my sausage!" Paul said and the other 2 slumped down, glaring at him in disbelief.

"What are we gonna do now!" Tim whined

"Im STARVING!… IM STARVING!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA GO TO HELL!!!" Rich cried and Paul just sat… his hand on his chin and thought.

"I've got an idea! Where's that snake that was beaten to death by the boxing kangaroo"

"You're brilliant Paul!"

So the boys ran and found the 12 foot long snake and dragged it to camp site. Tim decided that it would be nice to stuff it with the banana for a little flavour.

"The banana doesn't fit in there, stop trying to force it!… Tim… you're going to…."

"Opps… I think I squashed the banana… Damn… I guess we're going to have to settle for the snake hey." Tim said with a sorry look on his face…

And so… the snake was cooked and they all sat around the fire with a piece in their hand.

"Lets try it" Said Tim and they all took a bite…

"It's a little bland… needs some flavour…" Rich commented…

"We're in the middle of the bush… what are we suppose to…" Paul began but stopped half way through… His eyes drifted towards the used condom…

30 minutes later…

"That was great Paul!!! God the flavour was fantastic… we should have snake like that more often…"

And so the boys made it through another day in the middle of no-where… They felt the need for a smoke… but as they had none they decided to go to bed in their 3 man sleeping bag and dreamt sweet dreams… not thinking about the day to follow.