Title:Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth By: Anthony Hickox Released by: Dimension Films Released on: 1992 Rating (out of 10): 6 Date: 07/16/2001
Terry Farrell, Paula Marshall, Doug Bradley
"We have centuries to discover the things that make you whimper."
THE (burial) PLOT
Joey Summerskill (Terry Farrell, TV's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) is a struggling television reporter looking for the right angle. She happens to be in a local hospital when a young man is rushed into the ER with chains hanging from his skin. As Joey looks on, the chains seem to move on their own and pull the patient apart in full view of the horrified doctors. Joey is sickened by the incident but is sure to ask the young man’s companion, Terri (Paula Marshall, TV's Spin City), just what happened. When the young woman refuses to talk, Joey is forced to track her down.
Recently, J.P. Monroe (Kevin Bernhardt, The Immortals) had bought himself a new statue for his nightclub. The piece contained the faces of what appeared to be tortured souls and a curious demonic man with pins sticking out of his head. J.P. is upset when he realizes part of the statue—a puzzlebox—has been stolen. But his anger turns to bewilderment and curiosity when he realizes the man with the pins sticking out of his head is actually alive.
Meanwhile, Joey tracks Terri down at “The Boiler Room,” J.P.'s nighclub, and allows her to stay at her place while she tries to get on her feet. It turns out Terrie is J.P.'s ex-girlfriend, and he wasn’t the nicest guy to her.
After some prompting, Terri shows Joey the puzzle box the young man had stolen/used just before his death at the hospital. Terri and Joey quickly become friends and try to get to the bottom of what caused the young man’s death.
As the women warm up to each other, Joey confesses that she's been having strange dreams about her father, who died in the Vietnam war. She knows the dreams must signify something, but she can’t figure out how they relate to her life.
However, a misunderstanding causes Terri to run back into the arms of J.P.—and Pinhead (Doug Bradley, Nightbreed)—while leaving the puzzlebox behind at Joey’s apartment.
That spells big trouble for Joey. Pinhead desperately wants the box back and he’ll stop at nothing to get it, even if it means unleashing hell on earth.
SO WHEN DID YOU SCRIBBLE DOWN THIS PIECE OF EXCREMENT YOU CALL A REVIEW, CHUMP?
June 4, 2000
THE BODY COUNT
We get at least three dead, stupid cops and tons of dead soldiers (but they are in a dream). Also, around 50 people die in “The Boiler Room” (around 25 off-screen). On top of that, approximately five more people die. I guess that puts the body count in the neighborhood of an astonishing 100! I’d estimate there are about 30 on-screen deaths all together.
THE NUDITY (Come on, guys, we all know that's what you want!)
Besides the two main actresses being fine pieces of eye candy (Paula Marshall wears nice, trashy outfits), there are several topless women in “The Boiler Room.” And J.P. brings a beautiful blonde girl to his quarters and has pretty rough sex with her.
THE GOODS (How well did the movie deliver on its premise?)
What’s really good:
* The special effects in Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth are extraordinary. They are really top-notch for what is essentially a slasher film.
* The acting is almost entirely above-average (with the exception of a couple of monotone duds). Doug Bradley is perfect as Pinhead (as usual), but I was also particularly impressed by the abilities of Paula Marshall, Terry Farrell, and Kevin Bernhardt.
* The plot is quite thin, but it effectively serves to set up some cool effects scenes. Although Hellraiser III strays more into slasher territory than the first two do, writer Peter Atkins does an admirable job bringing the Hellraiser series into new dimensions.
* I enjoyed some of the heavy-metal tunes on the soundtrack. The songs didn’t really feel out of place, like they do in most horror flicks.
* The dream sequences with the bright colors felt surreal. But when Joey yells “That’s my Daddy!” I felt rather nonplussed. That kind of dialogue/exposition always reeks of cheese. Sometimes things are better left unsaid.
* Pinhead’s idea of bondage was a nice touch.
* The direction/editing is better than one would expect from low-budget horror fare. At this point in the series, that has been a fairly consistent factor. Let's hope the trend continues as the Hellraiser theme continues to be pummeled into the ground.
What’s really bad:
* Ken Carpenter proves to be an extremely wooden actor as “Doc.” He always sounds out of place when delivering his dialogue opposite the far superior actor, Terry Farrell.
* Terry Farrell runs incredibly slow. Even though she is believable in most of her scenes, when she runs away from the Cenobites, she looks like she’s taking a leisurely jog. The last thing horror fans want is a scream queen who runs like she just ate a manatee. She should be running for her life!
* Everywhere Pinhead goes, windows inexplicably explode. It is a pretty cool visual the first time, but when is enough enough?
* When Pinhead confronts Joey in broad daylight, it really detracts from the spookiness of his character. Horror villains that appear in the daylight never seem as scary as they seem in the dark. Remember: It’s what you can’t see that makes for your most spine-tingling moments. You never hear about children who are scared of the light, and there is a reason for that. True, deep fear is caused by the unknown. If you feel something cold and slimy brush up against your foot while you are trying to sleep, your fight-or-flight responses kick in. But when you turn the lights on and realize what you felt was simply the diseased, clammy foot of your partner, you are immediately put at ease.
* I could have done without the inexplicable occurrences that were designed to be eerie (the unplugged TV that still works, the appearance of a ghost, et cetera).
TIDBITS (A little inside info. for ya!)
* Screenwriter Peter Atkins cameos as a barman, and director Anthony Hickox makes an appearance as a soldier in Vietnam.
WORTH WATCHING? (Should you slap down the money?)
I remembered Hellraiser III as being a far worse film than it turned out to be—I recently checked it out again.
Perhaps I was in a great mood when I watched it, but I thought Hellraiser IIIwas a worthy addition to the series. When I watch a Hellraiser film, I feel like the tagline should be “What the folks who brought you the A Nightmare On Elm Street series were afraid to show you.”
Though Hellraiser III isn't as good as a few of the Nightmares, it is certainly more enjoyable than the majority of them. I’d recommend watching the other two Hellraisers first. They will help to fill in any plot gaps you may encounter.
If you like a little bondage thrown in with your murders, Hellraiser III should be a decent choice for your viewing pleasure.
What Horror Fans Should Pay: Up to $2
What Casual Fans Should Pay: Up to $1 (but only after a viewing of the first two Hellraisers)
OK, I WATCHED THE MOVIE. NOW WHAT, FANCYPANTS?
(Plugs for other flicks)
Well, if you enjoyed Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth, I'd recommend:
* The other Hellraiser films. Duh!
* A Nightmare On Elm Street
* Wishmaster
