FRASIER: "Dad he's obviously covering! That shirt alone is a shriek for help!"
FRASIER: "While you're at it, I think you should talk to him about your compulsive chair dusting, I believe that is related"
FRASIER: "With that stick where it is I'm surprised you can bend"
FRASIER: "I mean, murderers on death row can find women to marry them. I can't find one to sit through coffee with me"
FRASIER: "See, if you go, Dad and I will kill each other. I'm not just tossing out hyperbole here, I'm speaking in the most literal sense, Dad and I, both dead. He'll be lying there with a bacteria-ridden sponge protruding from his mouth like a bloated tongue"
FRASIER: "I cut myself because I was shaving without water. And why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, which called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built!"
FRASIER: "[Daphne] is cooking dinner for your date with a ficticious woman. Why don't you set a place for the March Hare and the Mad Hatter?"
FRASIER: "The cemetary called. Apparantly they have to dig a sewer next to your plot"
GUEST: "Is it a serious problem?"
FRASIER: "Oh, no, no, he's always run like that"
FRASIER: "Oh, what do I ever say? Just, you're in denial, seek help, whatever, blah, blah, blah"
FRASIER: "Oh, boo hoo anyway. At least you had a date tonight!"
FRASIER: "I'd like to pay my respects, catch up with my godcousins, meet the godneighbors ..."
FRASIER: "Well, there it is. Frasier Cranium"
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