NILES: "Forgive me if I'm not as down to Earth as you and your tattooed, muumuu wearing brethren!"
DAPHNE: "You pompous twit!"
NILES: "Couch zombie!"
DAPHNE: "Snob!"
NILES: "Brat!"
DAPHNE: "Oh Shut up!"
NILES: "Oh you shut up!"
MARTIN: "Glad we turned off the TV"
NILES: "Chips, Daphne? Is that wise?"
DAPHNE: "What do you mean?"
NILES: "Well, you know what they say. Many chips make for chubby hips. Waddle waddle waddle"
MARTIN: "Have you lost your mind?!"
DAPHNE: "Oh no, I'm glad if I've put on a few"
NILES: "In your mind, you're the success, the famous one, I'm just invisible. That's not the way the rest of the world sees it"
MARTIN: "Oh Frasier! Boy, am I glad to see you!"
DAPHNE: "Thank goodness you're home"
NILES: "I'm also here"
FRASIER: "Clive is Daphne's old boyfriend. She's trying to let him down easily by pretending to be married to Niles"
NILES: "So this is my place. Frasier's staying here temporairily because he's separated from Maris"
MARTIN: "You couldn't stand her either, huh?"
NILES: "Where's your phone?"
MARTIN: "Oh, it's in my bedroom"
FRASIER: "Where else would it be? And Dad's electric shaver is in the kitchen! You see, all of our appliances are on an adventure this weekend!"
MARTIN: "What the hell is that?"
NILES: "It's my dog! My new best friend"
FRASIER: "Yes, Niles saw her in the pet store and had this inexplicable attraction"
MARTIN: "You can see her ribs!"
FRASIER: "Hint number one"
FRASIER: "I think for this evening it might be best if you just excused yourself. You see, it requires quick thinking and improvisational skills and a knack for remembering details"
MARTIN: "Well, never used any of those skills as an undercover cop"
NILES: "Oh please, Dad, don't be offended"
MARTIN: "I'm not offended, no, my two sons have just said I have oatmeal for brains"
MARTIN: "No, I used some stuff called Color In A Can instead. Said 'As seen on TV, just spray on and go.' How did I know it was a lousy product?"
FRASIER: "If only there had been some clue"
MARTIN: "Don't you start on me, mister. You left me melting by that fire"
NILES: "Wait a minute. You're the one who left stains on my wingchair!!"
NILES: "Cookie, darling?"
DAPHNE: "Oh, no thank you. Some of us do look after our weight"
ROZ: "Now, now, Daphne. You have to keep your strength up. You are eating for two"
NILES: "Why are you fighting over the man anyway? He's got all the charm of a cricket bat"
ROZ: "You're right. You know what, Daphne? You want him, you can have him. You can have him, he's yours!"
DAPHNE: "Oh yes, fat chance I've got now that you've told him I'm pregnant. How am I supposed to get rid of this bloody baby?"
DAPHNE: "You'd think with all your dozens and dozens of men you could at least leave one for me"
ROZ: "Dozens?! Did you tell her that?"
FRASIER: "Well forgive me for keeping track!"
FRASIER: "Dad, wine tasting is not a stupid game, it's a highly refined skill"
MARTIN: "Yeah, I just saw a couple of guys on the corner practicing out of paper bags"
NILES: "We are hardly winos. Very distinguished people belong to our club. The mayor, the commissioner of public safety, the chief of surgery at st. luke's"
DAPHNE: "Oh, just the people I'd want walking around all liquored up"
FRASIER: "Come on, please, tell me, what do you think are my main faults?"
MARTIN: "Well, let's start with what you're doing now. You analyze everything to death. Sam said it wasn't your fault but you keep digging around and digging around until you drive everybody nuts"
FRASIER: "Okay, Dad thinks I am over-analytical. That's great, we got the ball rolling. Okay, who's next? Niles?"
NILES: "I'm sorry. I'm not entirely sure how useful this exercise is"
FRASIER: "Niles, I don't care how you feel about it, you're gonna participate"
NILES: "Pushy"
FRASIER: "Well yes, if that's what it takes to ... Oh, thank you. Alright. Daphne, it's your turn, don't be shy"
DAPHNE: "Well, if I had to choose, I'd say you are a bit of a fussbudget"
FRASIER: "Fussbudget! Alright, well listen, if you don't mind the substitution, I think maybe demanding is more the [ ]"
DAPHNE: "Pretentious"
FRASIER: "Right. Now see, this is very good. Roz, you must have something"
ROZ: "Well, you are a little full of yourself"
FRASIER: "Great! Okay, pompous"
ROZ: "And you do tend to ramble on with the callers"
FRASIER: "Tad loquacious"
MARTIN: "Pretentious"
FRASIER: "Dad, I already wrote that down"
MARTIN: "Underline it"
NILES: "Oh, uh, uh, snippy"
FRASIER: "Snippy"
DAPHNE: "Sarcastic"
MARTIN: "Bossy"
NILES: "Huffy"
ROZ: "Vain"
(everyone concurs)
FRASIER: "Oh well! How nice we finally found an activity we can all enjoy together!"
NILES: "Resilient"
MARTIN: "Optimistic!"
NILES: "Tenacious"
DAPHNE: "Conceited"
MARTIN: "Different list, Daph"
FRASIER: "Niles, who are you calling?"
NILES: "I'm calling Maris. I'm going to beg her to take me back"
FRASIER: "You don't want to do that"
NILES: "Oh yes I do"
FRASIER: "Niles!"
NILES: "Life with Maris wasn't so bad. It was my fault! Afterall, I was too rigid! I was always making demands!"
FRASIER: "No, Niles"
NILES: "Eat something. Unlock this door. Don't throw that"
MARTIN: "Niles, give me that phone"
NILES: "No!"
MARTIN: "You don't know what you're doing!"
NILES: "Yes I do"
MARTIN: "Just drop it and kick it over here"
NILES: "Frasier,"
FRASIER: "Yes?"
NILES: "Before you turn in, there's a little something we need to deal with"
MARTIN: "Oh geez"
NILES: "I've never been so insulted!"
FRASIER: "Niles..."
NILES: "Oh. 'Kay, I'm sorry"
FRASIER: "Alright, guess there's no use in denying it, yes, yes, we did hire him. Although the word 'we' is not entirely accurate"
NILES: "Frasier, I am shocked at you"
FRASIER: "Oh shut up, Niles ... Now pointing fingers is not going to do us any good"
MARTIN: "What the hell is the matter with you two?"
FRASIER: "She did it!"
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