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Only when the music stopped and she left, did
he look at the tickets. Her peace offering, her reconciliation attempt
to smooth over hostility between him and his son. Did Nicholas suspect...?
Policeman's ball- 20's and 30's. Come
in costume. He'd have to research that one. He, Janette and
Nicholas had been in more exotic locations for much of those decades..
He doubted the fashions were the same.
Natalie entered the apartment. She was
so tired. She looked around. So far, so good. She
never knew if Nick, or lately, LaCroix would be there. All she wanted
was rest, tonight. Her wish was granted.
He watched her sleep. Still a little
pale and thin from her recent ordeal, but healing...
He thought about what he was doing. A
two thousand year old vampire, who knew 35 languages, educated, money at
his disposal, lackeys at his beck and call, bar owner, radio host, and
yet he sat back and watched this mortal sleep.
Speaking of drinking your life away... What
new form of addiction was this? "I'm hooked on Natalie," he imagined
himself telling his son. Although the blood called out to him, more
inviting still was the thought of her in his arms. She tossed in her sleep.
She still wore his present, he saw with a
sad smile. Marcella would be disappointed to know it had taken him
this long to pass it on.
How or could he ever explain this all to Nicholas?
She was his.
Oh, but her mind, her spirit, her heart.
LaCroix felt all those things anew, when she testified
last week. Night Court, luckily for him. He wasn't surprised
to see she held no malice for her attacker, even after all he had done
to her. He had sensed that a week ago. She was afraid, though,
but not enough to keep her from doing what had to be done. She felt
compassion for the man, and also thought he was crazy and in need of psychological
help. Probably felt the same way about him, he realized.
Damn this mortal. He traveled home. His first
allegiance should be his children. But Janette was off somewhere.
He hadn't seen her for months, and well, his children had never had a mother.
"Stop it, Lucien," he told himself.
He angrily downed bottle after bottle. The blood left him surprisingly
empty. But was that his body, or is soul? He grew angry and then
somber at the thought. After two thousand years, he had come to care
again.......and it was for the only mortal, he could never posses.
..........................................
"You want to leave?"
"No, Nicholas, I must leave. I will
return, perhaps, or you may join me. I will keep you apprised of
my whereabouts, but I will be gone tonight."
"And may I ask why?"
"You said once that if you truly loved a mortal,
you should leave, correct?"
"Yes, you mean you're leaving because you're in
love?"
"No, not yet, but I know the symptoms, know what
starts it. I'm leaving so I won't fall in love."
"Anyone I know?" Nick asked.
He couldn't believe his son didn't realize.
Perhaps he hadn't been as transparent as he'd thought.
"It's someone who would argue with me into the eternities and spend every
ounce of energy and vitality proving me wrong, and delight in it."
"And that excites you?"
"It's that spirit, that determination, even
stubbornness that I find appealing."
"Natalie," Nick said flatly.
"Yes, Doctor Lambert. But I assure you there
is no cause for alarm. I simply need a new diversion. I may
even pick up a new brother or sister for you during my travels."
"A mother would please me more."
"Yes, we will see, won't we."
"How long will you be gone?"
"Forty- fifty years."
"Until she's dead? Mon Dieu, you do
love her."
"No, not as of yet. Besides, I could never betray
you, Nicholas. But if I stay.. I'm afraid I could not stop from claiming
her as my own."
Nick laughed, eyes blazing gold, "But she hates
you. I haven't seen her get upset with anyone like she does with
you. You really bring out the worst in he. Plus she's afraid of you."
"Yes, I am sure you are right, and so for
all these reasons, I take my leave."
"So you go then, because you can't control yourself."
LaCroix bristled.
"Wasn't it you, who taught me about self control,
LaCroix? Take my advice, go take a cold shower. There is a
big difference between infatuation and love. It's probably just the
link."
"You may be right, but I don't want to take
the risk. I don't suppose it would do any good to ask you to not
tell Doctor Lambert of this conversation, would it?"
"Oh, yeah, you're in love. You can't even
use her first name. No, LaCroix I will tell Natalie, and I think
her reaction may surprise you."
"Nothing has surprised me, Nicholas in eight
hundred years. Not even you."
To say Natalie was stunned was an understatement.
It was too dangerous to be amusing.
"You know, in a way it is funny.
A woman has never come between us. I was created for Janette. LaCroix
did love, but only as a mortal," Nick said.
"You mean in all the centuries as a
vampire he never.."
"Well, perhaps only once before. His own very
selfish concept of love," Nick answered.
"This is incredible. After all he's
seen. Nick, this is a real breakthrough for him. If he can
love again after all this time..."
"Natalie, I know this is really compelling, but
you have to remember it could be just the draw of your blood, and the link.
And the main problem is he thinks he loves *you*. That puts you in
more danger than any other mortal I've known." He took her by the
shoulder to face him.
"I have to talk to him," she said.
"He will come to you, when he's ready."
She had not waited. How to bring it up- she
wondered.. Yeah, LaCroix, I hear you have the hots for me. She smiled at
the thought. But unwilling to face the issue at hand, LaCroix had goaded
her into yet another fight.
"How do you know we're not Gods, then? We
seem to be, able to save or take a life. We're nearly immortal."
"You prolong, not save," Natalie reminded
him.
"And doctors, putting people on ventilators,
on life support to stay alive as vegetables, or worse, permanently asleep.
Aren't they doing the same thing?"
"So is that what you want? A title?
My equal? Shall I call you Doctor LaCroix?"
"Look, I don't know why some of us die at
birth and others live for centuries. What I believe is that out there,
the answer lies, waiting for us at the end, at our final destination."
"There was a time when I believed as you do...
but then I died and awoke to find my final destination and the answer waiting
for me at the end was this. This dark existence. With no questionsanswered,
no resolution. Just more questions without answers. And so
I believe, that this is all there is."
He was enjoying arguing with her, she realized.
He wasn't angry or upset. He simply took the opposite view. Devil's
advocate. Did he really believe what he was saying? She decided
to come to the point of her visit before he got her going again.
"Nick says you're leaving. He told me why
and I'm having a hard time believing it."
"Doctor, why I do and what I do is precisely my
business and no one else's."
"Wrong, LaCroix, when it concerns me, I get to know."
"Very well, let me explain. Let's see... a twenty
first century analogy for you. Hmmm..."
Natalie rolled her eyes. "Well?"
"Yes, a young man has a car, a favorite sports car,
a bright shiny model, new, beautiful condition and he loves it. Drives
it every day. Looks forward to the time he can spend in it, around
it. And while he loves to show it off, he also has no desire to share it.
Well the day comes he has been dreading and yet expecting. As a father
now, he must pass the car down to his son. He knows the son will
take good care of the car and will love and cherish it. He knows
his son has been dying to drive it. And then the father realized it is
okay, because he had been in a crash, and couldn't really drive any longer-
not for a long time. Maybe never."
"OK, OK, I get it," Natalie interrupted. "You're the dad,
Nick's the son and you're passing down what? Immortality?
Youth?"
"Janette," he replied.
"New story: A father and son again together.
This time the son has found a car of his own. One he truly loves.
Cherishes it. It seems even better than the hand me down car because it
is truly his. It needed no body work or maintenance because
it had not been driven. It was new. Whereas the other car had needed
an occasional tune up, this car never required it. It appeared to be the
car of his dreams. And while the son was willing to let his father near
the car, helping perhaps to occasionally polish it, he would never be permitted
to drive it. It belonged to the son and the son alone."
The analogy wasn't wasted on Natalie.
Eyes downcast, she asked in a voice LaCroix could barely hear, "Is the
father ready to drive again?"
"He's not sure, but he thought for a moment that
he could."
"What about a different car? There are millions
out there..."
"No", LaCroix approached her slowly,
gently touching a stray curl. "There was only one model left he cared
to try," he sighed.
"No!" she shook her head breaking eye contact
after what felt like forever. "I don't accept that. And besides if you
are ready. It doesn't have to be me. It's a kind of mindset,
driving is, you can simply choose."
"I'm sure you're correct," he said not wanting to
cause her any further discomfort.
"LaCroix," Natalie said as she moved toward the
door. "You've wanted to move on before now and yet you've stayed-
why?"
"I've learned to control my wanderlust in an effort
to please Nicholas. Like any child, he seems to require temporary bouts
of stability and security. A father tries to do what's best for his
son."
"Doctor, I would like to take you up on the offer
to the police function tomorrow evening, if the invitation still stands.
I would like
the opportunity to say good-bye to my son and to you."
"Of course," Natalie said, glad to have a brief
reprieve from the emotional discussion.
End of Chapter 11.
Back to Part Ten! / Onto Part Twelve!
