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The title of the story is from LaCroix's Nightcrawler broadcast in Valentine's
Day. The Forever Knight characters belong to James Parriott and Barney
Cohen and Sony/Tristar. No copyright infringement is intended.Permission
granted to archive on FK fanfic. This is a continuation of my story
Nothing Lasts Forever. It takes place after Last Knight. Thanks again to
my fantastic beta reader and friend, Lisa. This one is for the Valentines.
"So, the link to Natalie. You don't feel......drawn
to her?"
"I told you, Nicholas, while it is a
nuisance to me, it will prove to be of benefit to you. You need to
know where she is or how she's feeling..."
"No. I'll not spy on her."
"Very well, but the offer stands."
"You do know, she is planning a little vacation,
don't you?" LaCroix couldn't resist adding.
Nick brightened a little. "Really?
Where are we off to this time? Hawaii? Mexico?"
"The vacation the doctor has in mind is not
with you, but from you."
"And I suppose you know why, right?"
He nodded.
There was silence for several seconds.
"Don't make me beg, LaCroix."
"What happened to not spying?"
"I'm not. You are."
"I don't think I should tell you. Your
anger will be misdirected at the messenger."
"You offered."
"Very well. She fears your faithfulness
or lack thereof."
"Why? What unpardonable sin have I committed,
now?"
"Her observation of you and Janette is obviously
the cause. An unrectifiable situation, I fear."
Nick remained silent. Natalie had seen Janette and
him together several times before, but not quite as intimately as this
time.
.......................................................
Two nights previous
Funny that the promise of an eternity in darkness
or a diet without variation didn't scare her away, but another female left
her feeling threatened. Not that she could blame Janette. She certainly
understood how hard it would be to give up on Nick. Especially after being
with him all these years. She decided to ask Janette to answer to
a question that had bothered her for some time now. She recalled the conversation.
"How do you do it, Janette?"
"Do what?"
"Accept that Nick is going to waft in and
out of your life, like smoke. Lingering here and there and then moving
on."
"I think of Nicholas more in terms of a boat or
a ship. He sails away for a time, maybe even years, but then returns
to port, to the harbor. Perhaps to refuel or view the lights, to have the
barnacles scraped from his hull. Many times, he's returned nearly
shipwrecked. He does know where to dock when in need."
You didn't need to beat Natalie over the head
with a stick to get the point across, Janette mused. Intelligent
woman. No wonder Nicholas was taken with her. She had seen the look
in the doctor's eyes as she realized that Janette was the harbor,
Nick's harbor, and had been for a very long time.
Janette excused herself. Someone waited
in the shadows for her, near the back of the Raven. She asked LaCroix to
run interference for her. Looking displeased, he agreed.
Janette had given her a lot to think about.
Did she want to remain his harbor? Could she allow the same sort
of freedom that Janette allowed Nick? Janette had a distinctly different
time frame and outlook, she knew, but still... Had anyone but Janette held
onto Nick for more than a few years?
She looked around for her to thank her for
the analogy. She couldn't find her.
"Good evening, Doctor Lambert. Looking for
Nicholas?"
"No. Janette."
"I see. Were you two discussing Nicholas' not so
illustrious past? He is--or, sorry-- was somewhat of a rogue."
"So I've heard."
"But, you've changed all that, doctor. Nicholas
is a faithful....patient."
Natalie resented LaCroix trivializing her
relationship with Nick that way. He was much more than a patient.
"Doctor, may I add just one thought
for consideration before I find Janette for you?"
"Would anything I say right now keep you from adding
your two cents?"
"No."
"Proceed."
"In years past, Nicholas, Janette and I have
frequented some of the coldest climates inhabited by man. In some of these
places for eight months of the year snow and ice covers the ground, with
temperatures dropping so low, that the only choice is to stay indoors.
To be outside for very long, is to risk death. Then for four wonderful
months, they all come outside. Soaking up the sun, the warmth, the
fresh air. They stay out as long as possible. They cherish this time. They
cherish it because they have been waiting for it all year. But after
about a month of this, some begin to complain that it is too hot and the
children ask when it is going to snow again, and by the time Winter arrives,
they are ready for it. For a few weeks, anyway, until they start
wishing for the Summer.
So, what is it they really want? They want
the unattainable. That which they cannot have. They yearn for what
cannot be. Dissatisfied to be content in the moment. Never
content in the present.
On a similar scale, my son seems to share
this same character defect. He wants only what he cannot have. Currently,
that would be mortality. What if he were granted his request, Doctor
Lambert? Then what would he want? What unattainable desire
would consume him next?"
"So, what are you suggesting, LaCroix? That
I prolong his cure? Prolong the wait? What purpose does that serve,
exactly?"
"He's not going to want the mortal
if he gets mortality for free."
"Wait, a minute. Are you giving me pointers
on how to keep a man? What makes you think it's a packaged deal, LaCroix?
That if he becomes mortal, he wins me forever?"
"Doesn't he?"
"I need a vacation," Natalie said to herself.
"Pardon me?" LaCroix said.
"Nothing."
"Yes, well let's see if we can't find
Janette."
He deliberately lead Natalie to where
Janette and Nicholas were locked in an intimate embrace. Nicholas was in
the process of feeding off her. Janette didn't look as though the
experience were anything but pleasurable.
Natalie gasped, then turned and fled.
LaCroix was both pleased and disgusted with the evening's
turn of events. Pleased because Natalie needed to know the truth about
his son, as painful as it may be. Showing her seemed the only way.
He was disgusted with his children. They insisted on bringing mortals
into their world, their lives, and then they took no responsibilities for
their actions. He could understand the attraction to this one, Natalie.
Due in part to the fact he had recently drank her blood in an effort to
locate her. She had been kidnapped and nearly killed. So now he had
a sort of connection to her. He sensed her feelings, emotions...
He simply did not understand his son.
He and Natalie had seemed happy enough, and as much as it had pained him,
he thought he had made the right decision. But then, one night at the Raven,
he had seen it happen all over again. Nicholas was pursuing Janette once
more. He didn't have to try very hard. She was perfectly willing to be
caught.
So, then what of Natalie Lambert? What had
transpired between the two of them to cause this? Judging by Natalie's
reaction to the little scene, she didn't know why Nicholas would betray
her, she hadn't seen it coming at all.
Just a month ago, Nicholas had begged his
master to end it all when he thought he would have to live without Natalie
and the possibility of mortality. That had been the problem, LaCroix realized.
Chapter eighty seven in Nicholas' book of incessant guilt. He withdrew
as a protective measure. Well, whatever the reason, it was too late for
his son. He had given his word. There would be no second chances...He
would get what or who he wanted.
..................................
The next night
"This isn't like you, Doctor," LaCroix said,
taking her fourth drink in the past half hour away from her.
"LaCroix. You know it wasn't like Nicholas to drink
out of a dirty cup, either."
LaCroix's eyebrows raised. "You are speaking of my former daughter.
Let me help you understand, Natalie. This isn't about history, past or
present. It isn't about anything that you or Janette have done to influence
him one way or another. Nicholas' difficulties lie in the same problem
he's always had, as a mortal or a vampire. He tends to take the weight
of the world on his shoulders. Not only that, but the responsibility for
the things he can't change, as well. This leaves him guilt-ridden. In an
effort to purge himself of this, he sought comfort in Janette."
"But why could he not come to me for comfort?"
"Because you're part of the guilt."
"You mean, he hasn't forgiven himself for almost ending
my life?"
"I don't think he's capable of forgiving himself."
"OK, LaCroix, how about you bring me across. Then
he'll just be mad at you again, help him to forget about the guilt."
LaCroix took a look at the Doctor. With all the
alcohol running through her mind, she had no conception of just what an
appealing thought she'd presented. No, when she came to him, it would not
be this way.
"You'll join our ranks soon enough, Natalie.
This is but a fleeting moment. Now, how about some coffee?"
.......................................
Present
Nick listened to the message again.
'Nick, this is Nat. I was looking for you
the other night at the Raven. I saw you and Janette... I don't know what
to think, really. I thought you were serious about a cure- or at least
about me. I guess I was just kidding myself. I'm going to be
gone a while. On vacation. I think I've earned it. Good bye, Nick.'
Why had he done it?, he asked himself
for the hundredth time. The guilt, of course. It was simply too much for
him to face. Seeing her every day after he had nearly ended her life. Feeling
her teeter on the edge of life and death and know assuredly that if she
did not survive, he would have to watch her die. He had not wanted to live
without her, he realized when he thought she had gone. He had asked LaCroix
to end it for him, luckily the stake had missed the vital organ. Finding
she was alive, had cheered him considerably, but following the cheer came
the guilt. She had forgiven him, he knew. But he could not forgive himself.
This situation was entirely his fault. He
had turned to Janette for a sympathetic ear, a kind voice, and received
that and much more. He had not meant to hurt Natalie, not then and not
now. Would she ever forgive him again?
His thoughts were interrupted by Janette.
"Natalie takes a vacation and you owe
me one. What delightful timing," she said wrapping her arms around Nick's
waist. "Let's go to Paris. We haven't been there in ages."
"Janette, you were just there."
"Yes, Nicholas, I said we. You and I together."
Nick agreed. He would have to right things
with Natalie when she returned.
......................................
Three nights later, ocean front
"Doctor Lambert? What is it? Normally, I find it easy to ignore our connection, but tonight it as though you are screaming. It is most annoying."
Natalie remained unresponsive.
"Is it Nicholas?"
"No, I mean yes. It's always him, isn't
it? Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will undoubtedly spend it alone.
Oh, I know I could take Grace up on her offer or my niece, but..."
"What makes you so sure he's forgotten?"
"LaCroix, please. He's with Janette, where he obviously wants to stay. I can't fight a history like theirs. Their shared past."
She sighed as he left. Ocean view or not. Alone was still alone.
The end of (01/07)
Onto Part Two!
