web hosting short URLs photo sharing

Nick stood watching Nat sleep. He almost hoped she wouldn't get all her memories back. It would be better for her if she didn't remember her feelings for him. He couldn't leave her, not now, but if she forgot she loved him, he would go...It would be better for her in the long run.
*She was standing in front of someone...she didn't know who, she just knew she had to protect her from the monster in front of her. She held a simple cross up as protection. Resolutely she stared into the golden eyes of an angry vampire.
As he drew nearer, she saw his face clearly. "Richie!" She whispered as her arm drooped. He looked at her as if she was no more then an obstacle in his path. Then his arm came up and she went flying.
She looked up and saw her brother, impaled on a stake. Horrified, she watched as he was vaporized by a shaft of light. Looking over she saw Nick, holding the stake. He was burned, and had a look of infinite sadness on his face.
"Natasha, see what you have done. Because of you, this happened."
She turned to the voice and saw her grandmother standing there. She felt as if she were 12 years old again, watching Nana come towards her hand raised. She raised her arm to shield herself from the blow, and pain exploded in her wrist.*
Nat came awake with a gasp, sharp pain radiating from her wrist. It took her a moment to realize that she had twisted in her sleep, pinning her broken wrist under her.
Looking around, she didn't see Nick anywhere. She was rather glad about that. Her dream seemed so real, she doubted she could face him right now. Grabbing the diary from the table, she began to idly leaf through it when an entry caught her eye.
'Richie died today, and it was all my fault.'
Stunned by the words, she read the rest of the entry. She read how he had been shot. How she demanded Nick make him a vampire. And why Nick was forced to destroy him. It shamed her that Nick was forced to bear the burden of her guilt.
Her tears fell as she stared at the words she had written. Her dream was no dream, it was a memory. She had made Richard into the monster from her dream.
Nick stepped out of the shower. He realized Natalie was awake and something was wrong. Grabbing his robe, he hurried to the landing. He saw Nat, her diary on her lap, crying.
"Nat, what's wrong?" he asked as he went to her.
Nat looked up to see Nick, in his robe, hair still wet from the shower, looking at her, concerned. Sniffling, she looked away. "I...I remembered what happened to Richie. In a dream. Nana was there...she told me what I had done to him...then I read what I did to you...oh, Nick I'm so sorry," she broke off as fresh tears rolled down her face.
Nick sat down next to her and slid an arm around her. "Nat, it wasn't your fault..."
"How can you say that?!" she cried, pulling away from him. "I forced you to bring him across! You didn't want to...and you were right."
Nick swallowed. They had never talked about Richard, and now he realized how much guilt Nat had kept hidden from him. It saddened him. It was just another way he had hurt her.
"Nat...Richard had a choice...he could have, he didn't have to...to do the things he did. He could have stopped. He chose not to." As he spoke, Nick realized something. While he would always bear some guilt for what happened to Richard, in the end, Richard chose not to control himself. And because of that choice, he had to be destroyed.
Nick had stopped speaking. Nat looked over and saw a look of surprise on his face. "Nick?" she questioned.
As he focused on her, Nick gave her a sad smile. "You always tell me that I can't be responsible for what others do...And you're right. As much as I wish things had worked out differently with Richard, I can't change what happened. And neither can you."
Nick reached out and took her hand. "He wasn't the little boy you remember, Nat. He was a grown man, with a wife and child. What he did...what he became...he chose to. We tried, but in the end, it was his decision. You can't blame yourself for that...and I can't, either."
Nick's face was the picture of regret. Nat squeezed his hand. Nick gave her a wan smile.
"Nick...I don't remember everything that happened. But what you say makes sense. It still hurts, but you're right. I can't...couldn't live Richie's life for him."
Nat looked away as more tears threatened. "Richie was always stubborn..." she broke off as the tears began to fall. Nick pulled her close and let her cry. His tears joined hers as they finally let go of the guilt they both felt.
Nat felt safe in Nick's embrace. As her tears slowed, she realized just how right it felt for her to be in his arms. She stiffened as disjointed images floated into her mind. She and Nick, here in the loft, laughing and throwing popcorn at one another...Nick supporting her as she knelt next to the body of the girl in the photo at her apartment...they came so quickly she couldn't keep up. Her hand clenched around his.
"Nat?" he called softly. He grew concerned when she didn't answer, "Nat!" he said again with more urgency. He watched as her eyes slowly opened. She was beginning to remember, he could see it in her eyes. "You're beginning to remember, aren't you?"
She nodded and cleared her throat. "Yeah, I am...I think we need to talk. I don't think you've told me everything, have you?"
Nick shook his head and whispered "No...no I haven't, it's...complicated." He looked away from her then. Should he tell her how he felt?
She watched as emotions flitted across his face. He was struggling with something. He turned to her and opened his mouth...and then the phone rang. Rolling his eyes, he reached over and picked it up. "Knight," he snapped.
He sat up straight and looked embarrassed. "Sorry, Cap...ok...Yes, we'll be down shortly. Bye, Captain." Nick looked at her as he hung up the phone, "The captain wants to see us, Nat...We'll have to talk later."
"I need a shower then Nick," she said as she stood. Somehow this felt familiar. She started to walk away but then turned and asked, "Nick, we will talk later, won't we?" For some reason, she needed to be reassured that they would talk.
Nick stood up and pulled her into a hug. "Yes, Nat. I promise we will talk, just as soon as we can. Now...go get your shower, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can talk." Giving her a final squeeze, he released her and watched as she went upstairs.
Sinking into a chair, he wondered what he was going to tell her. What he should tell her. He knew deep in his heart he loved her, and that she loved him. He just wasn't sure what to do about it.

Tracy watched as Nick and Natalie entered the squadroom. Nat seemed more at ease with Nick, but it was obvious that she didn't remember being here before. They spotted Tracy and came over.
"Hi, Trace, what's up?" Nick asked when they reached her.
"I'm not sure, the captain said he'd tell me when you got here."
Nick frowned at that. Tracy turned to Nat. "How are you doing, Nat?"
Natalie sat down on the edge of the desk and smiled. "My memory is coming back in bits and pieces Tracy. There are a lot of holes, but..." she paused and glanced at Nick. "But I'm not as...lost. Thanks to Nick." Nat shot Nick a warm smile. Tracy smiled to herself as Nick fidgeted.
The conflicting feelings Nat's words evoked surprised him. On one hand, he was thrilled he was helping her, on the other hand, her...openness in showing her feelings in front of others scared him. It was more than just LaCroix. He loved her so much, he was afraid of hurting her.
Tracy and Nat watched as Nick zoned out. Tracy just shook her head, but Nat was fascinated. "Does he do this often?" she asked Tracy curiously.
Glancing at Nick, Tracy replied, "Yeah, he does. And it's beginning to annoy the spit out of me. I don't know how you put up with it for as long as you have."
With a sinking feeling, Tracy realized what she just said. She was surprised when Nat smiled and chuckled. "I imagine it irritates me too...lucky for me I don't remember it."
Tracy looked slightly shocked, but then began to laugh, too.
Nick blinked when he heard laughter. Looking over, he saw Natalie and Tracy, looking at him and laughing. Staring at them, he wondered what he had done. Then he realized that he had drifted away. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I was just thinking about something."
Looking up at the sound of laughter, Joe Reese saw Nick and Natalie had arrived. He frowned slightly. Tracy had filled him in on Natalie's memory loss. Sighing, he lumbered up from behind his desk and walked to the door.
"Knight, Vetter, Lambert. In my office." He dropped heavily into his chair as the three of them entered.
Nodding to Nick and Tracy, Reese spoke softly to Nat. "Natalie, glad to see you in one piece, how are you feeling?"
He waved at her to sit down. As she sat, Natalie frowned. She had a feeling there was more to the question then just common courtesy. Nick had filled her in on who he was, so she thought a bit before answering.
"Captain, I'm still a bit sore, and this will take some time to heal," she said gesturing with her broken wrist. Carefully, she continued. "My memory is slowly coming back, thanks to Nick, and my diary. It's still mostly disjointed images, but..." she trailed off.
Leaning back in his chair, he gazed at the three of them. "Knight, Vetter. I know you are leaning towards Tony Palmentari as a suspect in this, but you can cross him off your list. Organized crime has an informer in Palmentari's group. He's pretty damn certain that Palmentari had nothing to with this."
Knight ran his hand through his hair. "Wonderful. We're back to square one." Nick began to pace.
Reese watched him levelly. 'Just friends, my ass' he thought. "Look, Nick. The answer has to be here somewhere. Tracy can start looking over all of Natalie's file for the past year," Reese tried to hide the smile her disgusted reaction caused, "and you can work at making sure nothing happens to Natalie. The answer is here people, find it before this psycho tries again."
Leaving the captain's office with Tracy muttering under her breath, they headed back to Nick's desk, when Natalie stopped dead. Concerned, Nick said, "Nat?" but she didn't answer him. Looking closely at her face, he realized she was remembering something.
As they walked Nat smiled as she listened to Tracy. Without warning a scene began to unfurl itself in her mind. She was leaning against a desk, talking with a balding, dark-haired man. She was laughing as she listened to him recite some poetry. His face and voice filled her with pleasure, but overlaid over everything was a feeling of great sadness. A name bubbled up from the depths of her mind. "Schanke" she whispered. Blinking back the sudden onset of tears, she looked at Nick for answers.
Nick watched as the ghost of a smile on her face, turned to a look of sorrow and he heard her whisper Schanke. She turned and looked at him, eyes silently asking for answers.
Gently taking her arm, he led her to an interview room. Closing the door, he watched as Nat sat on the edge of the table. "Nat, what did you remember?" he asked softly.
She looked at him, and with tears in her voice said, "I was standing there, by your desk talking and laughing with Schanke. For some reason, I feel a terrible sadness about him. Who is he, Nick? And why does he make me so sad?"
Nick gave himself a moment to remember Schanke...With a sad smile, Nick sat down next to Nat. "Schanke was my partner, before Tracy. He was a good man. A good friend and he died...He was killed in an airplane bombing."
Nat watched as a look of sorrow crept over Nick's face. Obviously Schanke had meant a great deal to Nick, and thinking about him upset him. She wiped her eyes, and laid a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Nick, I didn't know..." She trailed off as more tears threatened.
Turning away, she angrily wiped at her eyes. She hated this! She hated not remembering, she hated feeling so out of control.
"Nat?" she heard him say from behind her as she felt a light touch on her shoulder.
Impatiently, she shrugged him off. "Let's just go, Nick. I can't deal with this, any of this, right now," she said shortly, barely controlled anger in her voice.
Nick realized that her anger was caused by frustration, so nodded and led the way out. Debating with himself he asked, "We've got a few hours before dawn, feel like taking a ride? It might relax you...and we could talk."
Nat bristled at the relax comment, but realized she was on edge and they did need to talk. "Alright, fine. But, we need to stop somewhere first. I feel the need for some chocolate, right about now," she replied with a small smile.
"As my lady commands," he answered with a grin.
In no time they were driving along the lake, Nat happily eating a double chocolate fudge ice cream cone. "Thanks, Nick, I really needed this." She grinned at him. He grinned back. This was more like his Natalie.
Nat finished her ice cream and leaned back. She felt safe here with Nick, and that thought amused her. That her best friend, the man she loved, was a vampire. Then it hit her. She was in love with Nick. 'Wow, Nat. Only you could manage something like this,' she thought ruefully to herself.
Shifting, she watched Nick as he drove. He was handsome, there was no doubt about that, but there was something more that drew her to him, she just didn't know what. "Nick, can I ask you something? Something personal?" She saw him tense slightly then relax.
"Sure, Nat, anything."
She took a deep breath then asked. "You said I'm helping you to become mortal again. Why? I mean, why would you want to be mortal again? And how long have you been a vampire?"
Nick sucked in a breath. As always, Nat went for the heart of the matter. "I was brought across in 1228...768 years ago." He stopped for a moment to gauge her reaction, but all she did was blink. He turned into a small park and shut the car off.
He watched the lights reflecting off the lake. Quietly, he began to talk. "To understand why I want to be mortal again, you need to understand why I became this...this monster. I was a knight, a crusader. Pledged to God to redeem the Holy Land from the infidel. I had faith in God that our cause was just." He laughed mirthlessly.
"It didn't take very long for me to realize that God had nothing to do with the Crusades. It wasn't about faith, it was about power. I became...hard. Faith meant nothing to me anymore." Shaking his head, he continued.
"I'd been wounded and sent to Paris to heal. My body healed, but my faith...let’s just say I didn't have any left. I was easy prey for the vampire who brought me across." His voice trailed off and Nat could see he was reliving it.
"Nick, you don't have to do this..." she said gently, regretting the pain she was causing him. He shook his head, still not looking at her. "You deserve to know, Nat, and it’s way past time I told you about it, about me."
In a quiet voice that at times she could barely hear, he told everything. How he had reveled in the vampire at first. Then, over time, how he had come to regret the choice he had made. Of his vow not to kill, to someday atone for what he had done, to become mortal again. Finally he finished.
He felt better, having told her about his past, but he wondered how she would react. He realized he had told her more about himself then he ever had before and it bothered him that he had waited so long to talk to her.
Nat sat and listened in awe as he told her about himself. Her heart ached for him and what he had gone through. She began to understand why she loved this man. "Nick...I don't know what to say. But I do know this...You are no monster. It's true, you've done some monstrous things, but you're different now. I'm glad you're my friend."
He smiled. "You amaze me, Nat. I thought for sure you'd be horrified by what I am. What I've done. But you're not, and you still believe there is good in me even after all I've told you."
She shook her head. "Nick, you have to get over this believing that you're evil. You're not, and nothing you can do or say will change my mind."
Chuckling, he said, "I can never win that argument with you, can I?"
"Nope, I don't think so," she replied with a grin.
He glanced at the sky. "Nat, we have to head back now, feel like watching a movie?"
"Sure, I'm positive there's something I haven't seen."
Shaking his head, he smiled. As they drove back to the loft, he thanked once again whatever power had allowed him to meet her.

Nat woke slowly to the sound of a piano. Opening her eyes, she looked around an unfamiliar room. She realized ruefully she must have fallen asleep during the movie and Nick had brought her upstairs, while he took the couch.
Shaking her head and smiling, she got up and made her way to the bathroom, for a quick shower. Twenty minutes later, showered, dressed and feeling much more awake, she followed the music downstairs.
Pausing at the foot of the stairs, she watched Nick play. She didn't recognize the piece he was playing, but he played it wonderfully. Quietly, she moved closer, stopping near the piano and watched him play, entranced.
The last note faded away and Nick became aware of Nat standing nearby. He'd been so involved in the music, he hadn't heard her approach. He looked over and she smiled at him. "Nick, that was a great way to wake up, you play beautifully."
He smiled back and rose. "Thanks, I've had a few years to practice."
Rolling her eyes, she moved to the kitchen, and began to look for something to eat.
Nick watched as Nat made toast and coffee. He liked having her here.
"So, Nick. What's the plan for today?"
"Hmmmm. Well, we should check in and see what's going on, maybe Tracy has a lead. After that, I don't know. What would you like to do?"
Nat thought for a moment. "I'm not really sure, but where to go or what to do, I don't know. Why don't you call Tracy, and then we'll decide. Ok?"
Nick picked up the phone as he said "Ok, Nat."
"Vetter."
"Tracy, it's Nick. Anything new?"
He heard a disgusted sigh. "Nothing Nick. Ballistics can't match the bullet from Nat's apartment to anything on file, and I still can't find any reason for someone to try to kill Nat. How is Nat today, Nick?"
Watching Nat clean up the kitchen, he smiled. "She's ok, Tracy. Her memory still hasn't returned, but she's dealing with it. If you don't need us there tonight, I think Nat and I are going to relax for a bit."
"You two have fun, and be careful. And Nick, take your phone and turn it on if you go out...just in case."
"Yes, Mom," Nick said with a grin and hung up.
"So, anything new?" Nat asked as she walked over to him.
"Nope. We still have no leads...Anyway, have you thought of what you'd like to do tonight?"
Nat shook her head. "Really, I'm kinda tired. Why don't we just stay in?"
Nick gave a silent sigh of relief. Going out wasn't a good idea. "Ok, Nat. We'll just have a quiet night."
Smiling at him, Nat sat down on the couch and started to channel surf.
Nat laughed again as Nick muttered under his breath about how inaccurate the documentary was. Pointing the remote at the TV, she clicked it off. Nick looked at her guilty.
"Sorry, Nat. I didn't mean to ruin the show for you."
Nat laughed. "Don't worry about it Nick. It's not every day I get to have a first hand account of the Middle Ages. Besides, I'm hungry, let’s go somewhere for dinner."
Glancing at his watch, Nick thought for a second. "How about Chinese? I know a place that's still open."
She arched an eyebrow. "You do?" she asked surprised.
He smiled slightly at her. "Yup, and it's your favorite place, too."
"Then what are we waiting for, I'm starved," she declared as the headed to the lift.
=====
As they drove back to the loft, Nat sat thinking. She couldn't yet remember much of her life, but she felt happy, contented. Being here with Nick felt right. She was sure Nick felt the same. They pulled in and rode the lift in a comfortable silence. Neither of them felt a need to talk, just being with each other was enough.
Thinking that some music would be nice, Nat walked over to the stereo. Clicking it on, the loft was flooded, not with music, but with a low, compelling voice that sent shivers down her back. The voice seemed to resonate in her mind. A cascade of images flowed over her.
She heard this man's voice, then Nick's. The words Nick spoke pummeled her. "I do not love this woman." She heard him say, then felt his breath on her neck, following the urging of that voice...She shuddered and looked over at Nick, who was watching her, concerned.
As she looked at him, she could feel his fangs teasing her neck. She closed her eyes in a vain attempt to wipe out the vision unfurling in her mind.
Nick was next to her, his cool hand lightly stroking her arm. "Nat, what wrong?" he asked.
"Azure," she whispered.
Nick allowed his hand to fall as he heard her whisper. She was remembering something he had hoped she never would. He wanted to explain, to tell her why he had made her forget, but the words wouldn't come. He bitterly regretted his actions then, he just had no idea of what to do. The thought of her remembering the lies he had told filled him with pain
He watched as her eyes opened, showing her confusion and pain. The struggle with conflicting emotions was visible in her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, when she held up a trembling hand. "Don't, please don't," she whispered. "I...I need to think, I need some time to think, Nick."
She turned and walked to the door, leading to the stairs. Panic surged as he realized she was leaving. He moved to follow her, when she reached the door and turned. "Nick...please...I just need some time away from you." And she stepped through the door.
He listened with dread, that eased slightly as he heard her steps head upwards, towards the roof. Slowly he made his way to a chair and dropped into it. Running his hand across his eyes, he sighed. When she came down, they would have to talk. No more secrets, no more lies. He just hoped it would be enough for her to consider forgiving him.
Natalie quietly made her way up the stairs to the roof of the warehouse. She needed some time alone, away from Nick. Acutely aware that to go outside could be fatal, she'd had an idea. So here she was, stepping outside to try to deal with all that had happened.
Looking around, she made her way to the wall along the back edge. Sitting she leaned back and closed her eyes. Disconnected glimpses of her life clamored for attention. She began to try to sort them, to try to understand them. But for some reason, it was so hard.
The grief of waking up to find all that you know and love gone, was a raw, jagged wound to her soul. Nick, as hard as he tried, could not truly understand what she was feeling. She couldn't do that herself.
 She allowed her tears to come, silent wracking sobs, shaking her. She cried for Richie, for her grandmother, Schanke and Nick. But mostly, she cried for herself. She was terrified that her memories wouldn't come back...and she dreaded their return.
Her tears slowed then finally stopped. Letting her head drop back to lean against the wall, she stared at the stars. She loved to watch them, and they were comfortably familiar. For a time, she sat and peacefully watched the sky letting her mind drift.
Nick appeared in her mind, holding her, reassuring her, as she called for him. They sat together on a picnic table, talking, and then he kissed her. Other images flowed, faster and faster. Feelings surfaced, a complex tangle that was overwhelmed as more and more people, places, feelings returned.
Natalie was battered by a flood of memories, then just as suddenly as it had started, it was over. Her head reeled under the weight of the returned memories. Trying to reconcile her hopes and dreams, with the newly reclaimed reality of her life was...she couldn't even come up with a word to describe it.
With deep dismay, she began to understand just how far from the life she'd hoped for she had drifted. With a clarity she had never had before, her life came into focus. One of the few and certainly the brightest spots in her life was Nick.
With her altered perception of their relationship, she could see what was happening. They were both so afraid of being hurt that they never even tried. Nick allowed his fear of LaCroix and his doubts about himself to stop him from telling her what he felt.
'That's not quite true,’ she thought, remembering that fateful Valentine's day. Some of his fear was justified, she conceded, but they never had the chance to even try. The memory had been removed, and with its return, it brought with it a firestorm of anger and pain. And a hope. Because now she knew for sure that he loved her.
She herself was guilty of silence on that score. Too many of her loved ones had died, so she hid her feelings, sometimes even from herself. Unwillingly she could see where this would lead. She had reached a point, forced on her by circumstance, where a decision must be made. She would not go on like this anymore. They needed to talk, honestly, then decide: admit their love for one another and deal with all the ramifications of that, together, or end it. Here and now. For both their sakes.
Looking up, she saw the first, faint traces of dawn, just beginning to illuminate the clouds that hung low in the sky. Nick was here for the day, he couldn't run off when it got tough. By sunset, no matter what happened, nothing would ever be the same.

Tracy was tired. It had been a long and frustrating night. There were no leads into who might want Nat dead. She'd gone over Nat's files again and again, but there was nothing. Disgusted, she began to straighten her desk, getting ready to call it a night, when her phone rang.
Looking at it, she frowned. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep. Glancing at the clock, she sighed. Half an hour before her shift ended. Sighing, she picked it up. " Vetter."
"Detective Vetter? This is Ryan Burns, down at impound. I know you're working Dr. Lambert's case. I was wondering, when we were going over her car, we found several files. They look like case files to me. What should we do with them?"
'Case files? Why was Nat taking case files home?' Tracy thought.
"Ryan, listen. Hold on to them for me, I'll be right over to pick them up." Tracy hung up and hurried out the door. Maybe their quarry was in those files.

Nat quietly stepped into the loft, looking around for Nick. She spotted him, slumped in a chair, by the fire. She just stood there watching him. She took a deep breath and walked towards him. She could see the sadness and regret etched into his face as she approached. Her heart ached at the sight of it, and it stiffened her resolve. For both their sakes, they needed to deal with their feelings for each other, to come to terms with them. Otherwise, she believed now, their relationship would end only in tragedy.
Nick looked up as Nat approached. He had sensed her on the roof as her memories returned. He had wanted to go to her, to hold her as he felt her pain, but knew she didn't want that. He felt her resolve grow, and wondered what it meant for him. For them.
Nat sat down on the couch and looked at Nick. She could see the worry and the love shining in his eyes. She just hoped he would be able to accept what she was going to say. She knew how tightly he held onto his belief that he was a monster and evil. If she could convince him that wasn't the case, if not...
Though she didn't feel very calm, Nat kept her voice level as she said, "Nick, my memories came back...all of them. I've done some thinking, and we need to talk...to make some decisons." She paused and watched his face, watching his reaction.
Nick felt a wave of relief wash over him. Nat remembered everything and wasn't telling him it was over. As her words sank in, he realized she was right. They couldn't go on the way they had been, and with everything they had learned about each other in the past few days, things had changed.
"Nat...you're right. We do need to talk...about a lot. One thing I do know Nat, and it's something I should have told you long ago."
He paused and swallowed. There was no going back now, he had to tell her. "Nat...I love you, I always have. I don't know what we're going to do about it, but, I needed to tell you."
Nat felt the tears gather in her eyes. Nick said he loved her. The words she had waited for so long to hear, were finally spoken. They had much more to talk about, and her joy was tempered by the knowledge that they still had the hardest part to come. Would they be able to have a life together? She needed to know. It didn't matter to her if he became mortal, or she became a vampire, as long as they were together.
She smiled at him and held out her hands. Nick quickly moved to the couch and took her hands. For just a moment, they shared a feeling of peace, as they realized they had taken the first step on a road that could give them both their dreams.
As they sat, gazing at each other, the phone began to ring. Resignedly, Nick reached over and picked it up. "Knight" he sighed.
"Nick, its Tracy, listen, impound called me. Nat had some files in her car the night of the accident. I'm on my way over now. There's one I think we need to look at."
"A lead, Tracy?"
"I'm not sure, Nick, maybe. Anyway, I'm on my way. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
Nick hung up and turned back to Nat. "Tracy thinks she may have something, in the files you were taking home that night."
Nat frowned as she tried to remember which files she was taking home and why. She may have all her memories back, but it was still difficult to accept them  and wade through them all.
Then that night came into focus. She clearly remembered getting into her car and driving towards home. Remembered think about a case...Then realizing she was heading towards a pole, the brake pedal sinking to the floor then a bright flash, followed by darkness. She shivered.
Nick slid closer, putting his arm around her. "Nat?" he asked, concerned.
Nat smiled wanly over at him. "Sorry, Nick, I was just remembering the accident...I was thinking about a case when it happened. It was one of the files I was taking home. A murder/suicide. One of Jackson and Graham's cases. Something just wasn't right about it, and the husband of one of the victims wasn't too thrilled that I wouldn't release his wife's body."
Nick frowned. Nat very rarely held bodies for long, but when she did, it was for a reason. She was tenacious when it came to the truth, even when it personally hurt.
"What do you mean, Nat?" he asked.
Nat stood up and began to pace. "I'm not sure, Nick. There's just something off about it. I ran some additional tests...maybe with them, and looking over the file again, I might get and idea of what's wrong."
Nick got up and went over to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She laid her head on his shoulder, and relaxed. No matter what the future held, for now, she was happy. In a strange way, she was grateful for the accident. The fear they had both felt had brought them closer, had caused them to get to know each other in a way they normally would never have allowed.
It also forced them to deal with painful issues they had avoided for so long. She tightened her arms around him, grateful for the comfort and peace he brought her.
Nick was lost in the sweet smell of Natalie. Her hair, her blood. She felt so warm and soft in his arms, all he wanted to do was hold her like this forever. The sound of the lift brought him back to reality and he sighed.
Regretfully, he loosened his embrace, and she titled her head up to look into his eyes. The peace he felt was reflected in her eyes, and he smiled. Leaning down, he gave her a soft, gentle kiss, full of promise.
As the door slid open, Nick pulled away from Nat and turned to the lift.
Tracy stepped inside the loft, the slim file in one hand. She saw Nick and Nat standing in front of the fireplace. Moving closer, she could tell something was different. There was recognition in Nat's eyes, but there was more. Something had changed between them. Although she was curious as to what had changed, they had a case to work on first. But when that was done, she intended to find out just what was going on between her partner and Natalie.
Nat smiled as Tracy came in. Tracy wasn't very good at hiding what she was thinking, and it was obvious that she noticed something different between Nick and herself. Her smile widened as she let herself remember the kiss Nick had just given her.
A cough brought her back to reality, and she blushed realizing she was acting like Nick. "I think you've been hanging around with Nick too long, Nat. You're beginning to zone out just like him." Tracy commented a grin on her face.
"Here's the file, I glanced at it when I picked it up. It looked pretty straight forward. I don't think the answer is in there."
Nat took the file and opened it. Sitting down, she began to re-read the file.
Nick walked over and stood next to Tracy. "Nat's memory came back, Trace. We've been talking about this case. Nat feels that something doesn't fit."
"That's great news, Nick! I'm glad Nat's memories are back. I hope she can come up with a lead, I hate the idea of someone trying to hurt her."
Nick nodded, as he watched Nat. He saw he frown, and her begin to mutter to herself. "Nat? Find something?"
She looked up and frowned. "Maybe, I need to check something, but...the measurement of the wound angles are just a bit off. If I'm right, this guy could not have shot this woman. He's too tall. Her husband, however, is the right height."
Tracy thought for a moment. "So what you're saying is, the husband killed them both, but tried to hide it as a murder/suicide...but why?"
"It would explain why he was after Nat to release his wife's body. As to why, maybe he was jealous. And since Nat was holding her body for further investigation, he might have thought getting rid of her would solve his problem." Nick said quietly.
They looked at one another for a moment. "So, what's this guy's name? I'll talk to Reese and we'll start checking him out." Tracy said.
"I don't think that will be necessary, Detective." A cold voice said from behind them. Looking toward the voice, they saw a middle-aged man, of medium height, aiming a nasty looking gun at them.
"Kelner." Nat said flatly.
He nodded slightly in her direction. "Doctor. I can't say I'm pleased to see you. It would have been so much simpler, Doctor, if you hadn't tried so hard on this case. You left me no choice, you know." he said conversationally as he walked over towards Natalie.
Nick and Tracy stood frozen, afraid to move. Nick was flooded with fear for Nat, but he was determined to wait for his best shot. Tensely he watched as Kelner moved to stand behind Nat.
Briefly, she wondered why she always seemed to end up like this, but that thought disappeared with the cold touch of the gun on her neck. She shivered involuntarily as Kelner put his arm around her chest and pulled her close, in front of him. Her eyes locked with Nick's and her heart fluttered at the fear and the love she found there.
Nick stared into Natalie's eyes, silently showing his love for her, as he waited for his chance. Kelner was rambling on about his wife and how Nat had ruined his plans. How he was going to kill them all. Nick tensed as Kelner began to wander the room, dragging Nat with him.
She held on to his arm as he pulled her with him. He wasn't making any sense, but he rambled on. She felt her anger grow. Over the past few days,  she'd been on an emotional rollercoaster, and she had finally found some peace here with Nick. Now this man  was destroying that. Anger gave way to rage, and she tensed. Waiting.
Nick stiffened as he realized Nat was going to blow. With trepidation, he watched the rage grow in her eyes. He'd seen her angry before, but nothing like this. Then it hit him. She wasn't just angry at Kelner, it was all her anger, at everyone. The past few days had brought it all to he surface.
Kelner began to gesture with the gun. When Nat felt the gun leave her neck, she tensed, but he didn't notice. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the gun, pointed away from everyone. Without thinking, she brought her heel down onto his foot with all her weight, while she drove her arm backwards, into his gut.
Kelner yelled, then it cut off as the air was knocked out of him by the blow to his stomach. He dropped the gun and wrapped his arms around his stomach. In an instant, Nick was there and had a tight hold on him.
"Nat, are you ok?" Tracy asked, concerned.
Nat seemed somewhat stunned by what just happened. "Um, yeah, I think so." Nat murmured, still staring at Kelner. Nick motioned to Tracy.
She made her way over to stand by Nick. "Tracy, you take care of Mr. Kelner. I need to check on Nat. Call Reese and tell him what happened, ok?"
"Sure, Nick, no problem." She answered quietly. Nick waited as Tracy cuffed Kelner, then went over to Nat.
Tracy pulled Kelner over into the dining room, wanting to give them as much privacy as possible. Pushing him into a chair, Tracy pulled out her phone and dialed the captain's number. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nick put his arm around Nat and pull her down to sit on the couch.
"Reese!" A gruff voice barked, capturing her attention.
Nat sat next to Nick, leaning her head on his chest, still stunned at the rage she had just felt, and her actions. The strength of her anger scared her. She began to shake in reaction. Nick just pulled her closer and held her as she began to sob.

Several hours later, the last of the investigators left. Nat was dozing on the couch as Nick walked over. He stood, watching her sleep. He'd come too close to losing her again.
Nat opened her eyes and saw Nick. "Hi." She said as she smiled up at him.
He smiled back at her as she sat up. She motioned for him to sit next to her, which he did. She leaned back against him and rested her head on his shoulder.
She felt content. Nick always made her feel like that. She sighed as the events of the last few days rose in her mind. "Nick...we still have some things to talk about. As much as I love you, I can't go on the way we have been."
She turned her head to look into his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes she loved so much. Right now, they gazed at her with a mix of love and a hint of fear as he waited for her to continue.
She trailed her fingers across his face as she continued. "I love you and I need to be with you. We haven't made much progress on your cure...and I'm sorry to say, I think I'm out of ideas. We do have one cure we haven't tried. Nick, I want us to try Janette's cure..." She looked deep into his eyes as she spoke, silently willing him to have faith in himself.
He wished he could say he was surprised by her words, but he wasn't. He knew she believed he could control the beast, but he wasn't sure. The idea of losing control and hurting her filled him with agony...but...she was right. They couldn't go on the way they were. It wasn't fair to either of them and it was hurting them both.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up till she was sitting in his lap. He cupped her cheek in one hand, and spoke. "Nat...are you sure? What if I take too much?" That thought filled him with pain.
Covering  his hand with her own, she replied, "I trust you, Nick. But if you do take too much, I want you to bring me across...I'd rather live in the darkness with you, then go to the light without you."
Nick closed his eyes at her words. What had he ever done to deserve her. Leaning his forehead against hers, he whispered, "When you're ready Nat, We'll try."
She laughed with joy and hugged him close. "That's all I ever wanted, Nick. The chance to try."

The End