Disclaimer:  The Forever Knight characters belong to TPTB, I'm just
borrowing them for a bit.  Permission to post at the FK Fanfic site; anyone
else, please ask.

This story is based on the song "I Will Remember You" by Sarah MacLachlan,
which I don't own the rights to either.  Lyrics are indicated by *** around
them.  I've been toying with this as an idea for awhile, but as I was trying to
write some kind of a Christmas story, this came out.  It takes place after the
second season, but before the third.

Thank you to Anez and LizM for beta reading this for me.  Feedback is
welcome, and can be sent to the address at the end of the story.


"I Will Remember You"
by Lisa Harvey
c.1998

***
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
***

Nick stared out the window as the automatic blinds opened up.  They were
identical to the ones he'd had in the loft.  He had many things from the loft with
him here in this new city, actually.  Everything but what he wanted
most...Natalie.

He'd left Toronto months ago, just packed up everything and left without a
word to anyone.  While he missed Janette, and even Lacroix, every moment he
spent away from Natalie was torture.  But he couldn't stay and risk her life any
longer.  He looking into the swiftly disappearing sun and remembered...

***
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
***

Nat tried so hard to help him find a cure.  They really thought they had one
with the litovuterine, but it'd caused an even worse addiction and terrible side
effects.  There was some good in the memory, however, because it was the
only time he got to see her in the sun.  The short time he'd spent in the sun with
Natalie was one of the best memories that he had in his long, dark existence.

***
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
***

He had so many memories of his short time in Toronto.  There were many
good ones, some bad ones, and he regretted many things...like not being able
to tell Schanke that he was a vampire.  He would have liked to confide in his
partner, but he had to protect him.

His biggest regret was not being able to share his love with Natalie.  It had
taken him so long to be able to admit his feelings for Nat to himself.  During
the case on Valentine's Day, he'd finally come up with the nerve to confess his
love to her.  After their talk in her apartment, he was ecstatic.  He finally had a
chance at happiness.

***
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
***

But, as usual, Lacroix found a way to ruin that happiness.  Sacrificing Natalie
for his sister's memory was not an option.  He was aware that Lacroix probably
didn't fall for that act in the Azure, but the damage was done.  He could never
be with Nat in the way that they wanted, Lacroix had seen to that.  

As if his every move being watched by his master wasn't enough, he felt
pressured by Natalie, although it wasn't until the asteroid scare that her feelings
were made known.  But now it was out there, and it lay between them even
though she'd told him that he did the right thing by not bringing her across.  He
couldn't make her spend eternity in this dark life; she couldn't truly understand
what she was asking.  Not that he wasn't tempted; every moment he spent with
her was sweet torture.  The scent of her shampoo, her perfume...her blood was
so overwhelming when they were close.  It took all of his will power to keep
the vampire down. 

So he'd left her to protect her, but he'd never stop searching for a cure.  In their
brief time together, she'd given him more hope for a cure than he'd ever had
before.  He only hoped he'd find a cure in time to be with her, but if he didn't
he'd be with her...someday.

The End...
This story can stand alone, but I have a second part in mind...I just have to
write it.
Lisa 
Feedback welcome -- lmharvey@hotmail.com