Disclaimer:  The Forever Knight characters belong to TPTB, I'm just
borrowing them for a bit. Permission to post at the FK Fanfic site and the ftp
site; anyone else, please ask.

This story is the continuation of my story "I Will Remember You".  It takes
place after the second season, but before the third.  By total coincidence, I
heard "I'll Remember" by Madonna while thinking about this story, and
decided to use it after I looked up the lyrics.  Lyrics are indicated by ***
around them.  BTW, I don't own the rights to the lyrics either.

Thank you to Anez and LizM for beta reading this for me.  Feedback is
welcome, and can be sent to the address at the end of the story.


I'll Remember
Lisa Harvey
c. 1999


***
And I'll remember the love that you gave me
Now that I'm standing on my own
I'll remember the way that you changed me
I'll remember
***

The sun was rising slowly in the horizon, washing the sky with pink and golden
hues.  Natalie stared into the landscape as if mesmerized; unless Janette had
decided to rescind her offer, today would be the last day Natalie would be able
to go out into the sunlight.  For the thousandth time, she wondered if she was
making the right choice.  Becoming a vampire, giving up the world as she
knew it...for what?

Nick.  To help him search for a cure without any time restraints, and to be with
him in the only way that was possible for them at this point in time.  She'd
fallen in love with him, despite all her best efforts to keep her distance from
him emotionally.

Nat knew that he felt the same way, they'd shared their feelings for one another
on Valentine's Day.  She even remembered the events that had happened at
Azure, but she let Nick believe that he'd managed to whammy her.  The next
night at the station, she made sure to mention that she didn't remember
anything that happened from the time she walked into the restaurant until he
took her home in the cab.  She knew he thought he was protecting her, so she
let him believe that.  She, however, didn't believe what he'd told Lacroix for
one moment.  Nick loved her, just as much as she loved him.

She'd decided that the fact that Nick had not tried to remove her memories of
what had transpired in her apartment was an oversight.  She couldn't explain
his sudden reversion back to a platonic relationship otherwise.  What could
have happened between Nick's sister and Lacroix to make Nick do what he
did?  

Whatever the explanation, Natalie had played along.  Until she thought that an
asteroid was going to collide with the Earth, threatening to end life as she
knew it.  She'd told him that there was no reason that they couldn't be together. 
His refusal of her request to bring her across had hurt her deeply.  It was her
choice too.  Couldn't he see that it was the best solution?  They could be
together while she still searched for a cure, with no time constraints.  It wasn't
as if she'd have to kill in order to survive, there was donated human blood...and
Nick's preferred cow's blood...to drink instead.

***
Say good-bye to not knowing when
The truth in my whole life began
Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry
You taught me that
*
No, I've never been afraid to cry
Now I finally have a reason why
***

She'd been devastated when he left.  One night at the end of his shift, Nick
went into Captain Cohen's office and handed in his resignation, effective
immediately.  Not a word to Schanke, his own partner.  And no word left for
her.  She felt sure that he would contact her somehow, as he once promised,
but there had been nothing.

Nat had waited about a month before she went to the Raven to talk to Janette. 
But the vampress knew no more than Natalie did.  They had gone to Janette's
living quarters in order to carry out their conversation in privacy.  After a few
drinks, Natalie found herself opening up to the woman she'd previously
considered a rival.

It had been Janette who'd brought up the topic of bringing Natalie over.  She'd
given Nat two weeks to make up her mind and get her affairs in order.  So here
she was on the morning of her last day in the light, enjoying the sunrise.

"Nat?"

She turned to see Don Schanke approaching.  She stood up to greet him. 
"Hey, Schank.  What's up?"

"Oh, you know, same old..." he paused uncertainly, "...it took me a heckuva
time to find you.  I wanted to say good-bye and wish you luck."

Nat squeezed his hand warmly.  "Thanks, Schank.  I really appreciate it.  I'm
really going to miss you."

"Me too."  Schanke closed his eyes.  "Jeez, Nat, first Knight and now you.  It
just won't the same without you."

She suppressed a grin as she teased, "Problems with the new partner, Schank?"

"Man oh man oh man, I don't know what I did to deserve this.  Cohen partners
me with the Commissioner's daughter...Nick would do it, she tells me...I'm the
best one for the job.  I dunno, Nat.  One 'Partners of the Month' plaque does
not a mentor make, you know?   I mean, she's the *Commissioner's*
*daughter* for crying out loud.  No pressure there."

"I don't know...I've met her, and she doesn't seem all that bad. -- Walk me to
my car?"

"Sure.  Don't get me wrong, she's a good kid.  She's gonna be a good
detective..."

"With your tutoring, of course?" Nat teased.

"I just miss Nick," Schanke sighed.  "He was my best friend, and I can't believe
he left without saying good-bye."

"Me either, Schank.  I know how you feel."

It had to have been much harder on Natalie, Schanke realized.  The pair may
have tried to deny it, but there had been *something* going on before Nick
left.  He put a comforting hand on Natalie's shoulder.  "Aw, hey.  I'm sorry,
Nat."

"Don't be sorry, Schank.  He let both of us down, but I'm not going to cry
about it anymore.  I can't."

They stopped in front of her car.  "So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know exactly.  I have some money saved up; I think I'm going to travel
a little."  While this wasn't a *total* lie, it wasn't exactly the truth either, but
she couldn't tell Schanke what she planned to do.

After a moment of awkward silence Schanke's beeper went off.  After checking
it, he said, "I gotta go.  Don't be a stranger, Nat.  Okay?  Keep in touch, and
let me know where you are?"  He hugged her tightly.

Natalie blinked back the tears that were beginning to form as she hugged him
back.  "I'll try my best, Schank.  Take it easy."

He whispered, "You too, Nat."

********************

Janette paced the length of her bedroom nervously, like a caged tiger.  She was
thankful that Lacroix had decided to spend the day elsewhere, she only hoped
he would stay away for the rest of the evening.  It was hard enough to try
keeping her state of agitation from him, but if he was in close proximity of her
he wouldn't have needed their link to see it.  What had she been thinking when
she offered to bring Natalie Lambert across?  

Nick had been gone almost a month when Natalie finally came to the Raven. 
Frankly, she had expected her much sooner.  Nick had left without a word to
anyone; even Lacroix had no idea where Nick had gone.  Her master didn't
seem to be in any rush to leave Toronto in search of his wayward son either; he
seemed content to stay here with her for now.

Nick's quest for humanity was definitely affecting her too.  If he hadn't moved
on, she would have, although it would have tore at her heart to give up this
incarnation.  She still missed him though, and it pained her that he didn't tell
her that he was leaving...not that she'd expected to be trusted with his final
destination, if he even knew where that was.

And so, blaming Nicolas for her sudden empathy for Dr. Lambert's distress,
she had invited Natalie into her living quarters so they could talk about Nick
freely.  After the doctor had consumed several drinks, she finally loosened up
enough to confess her feelings about Nick.  Janette had been aware of the
growing love between Nicolas and his coroner friend.  She wouldn't lie to
herself and say that it didn't bother her, but she truly wanted to see Nick
happy...and Nick was happy around his mortal friends, especially Natalie.

Janette had to admit -- if only to herself -- that she held a grudging respect for
the mortal coroner.  Natalie had not only accepted and befriended Nicolas, but
had volunteered to help him with his quest for mortality.  Janette had seen
Natalie swallow her fear to face Nick at some of his worst, most dangerous
times.  

And Natalie had sat in Janette's living room two weeks ago, pouring her heart
out about the events of the last few months.  On Valentine's Day, Natalie and
Nicolas had exchanged vows of love, only to have any hope of a relationship
squashed by Lacroix.  Nicolas thought that he'd wiped all memories of that
night from Natalie's mind, and as naive as he was, he believed Natalie's act in
the precinct the night after.  But even had he succeeded in making Natalie
forget that night, he hadn't tried to remove the memory of what had gone on
between them in Natalie's apartment.  Janette wasn't very surprised; Nicolas
could be very forgetful at times.

She was less confused than Natalie by Lacroix's references to some agreement
regarding Nick's sister, Fleur.  Janette was never sure exactly what happened
that night in the garden.  Her master had refused to utter a word for days
afterward, and Nicolas told her only that he had convinced Lacroix not to bring
Fleur across.  She knew that there was more to it, that whatever had happened
resulted in bad feelings between Lacroix and Nicolas until recently...until last
Valentine's Day.  Lacroix had come into the Raven afterwards looking smug
and talking cryptically, saying something about how Nicholas thought he had
fooled his master, but Lacroix had seen right through it.  That although
Nicholas didn't know it, Lacroix would have his revenge, and still be free to
call in his marker another day.

After they pieced together what they could about Valentine's Day, Natalie
explained her behavior during the asteroid scare.  Janette could not believe her
ears.  Well, of course, Nicolas refused to bring Natalie across, that was his
way.  The life that he'd chosen so willingly almost 800 years ago was now a
curse to him, and he would not share it with others willingly.  But the fact that
Natalie had wanted to come across was surprising.

Natalie knew all the risks involved; in fact, she was better prepared than any
mortal Janette ever knew of.  After all, who knew vampire physiology better
than Dr. Natalie Lambert did?  And Natalie was practical where Nicolas was a
dreamer; the doctor realized that she would have to drink human blood...at
least for a time.  However, like Nick, she did not want to kill any mortals.

Janette sighed as she finally slowed down long enough to put the finishing
touches to her ensemble.  She had no illusions that this would be easy, but
nothing would make her change her mind.  If Natalie desired immortality, she
would give it to her.  Natalie had so many reasons for wanting immortality, and
was so passionate in her speech, that Janette was moved to make the offer to
bring her across.  After all, they both had a common interest...Nick's happiness. 
Janette so wanted to see Nicolas happy that she was even willing to give his
mortal love a means to be with him.

The club could not be neglected any longer; after checking herself in the mirror
one last time, Janette made her way through her private rooms to the club
proper.  When she'd first gone to her rooms she'd thought it was the mortals
that were the cause of her agitation, but she was actually...nervous.  She
shoved the thought and the feeling away from her as best she could as she
gracefully accepted a glass of the house special from Miklos.  There was
nothing to be nervous about.  She and Natalie had come to and understanding,
and given time they should become good friends.  Janette scanned the room
and smiled as her eyes rested on a very handsome young mortal standing at the
edge of the dance floor.  Here was just the distraction she needed until Natalie
arrived.

********************

Even thought it was just about dark, it would be several hours until the club
opened for business.  Natalie sat at the bar with a crystal goblet filled with
blood wine, the 'special' of the house.  Janette had placed it in front of her new
fledgling and poured a glass for herself.  They were going to discuss a plan of
action.  Natalie wanted to go off in search of Nick immediately, but Janette
thought it best if Natalie took a little while to acclimate herself to her new
lifestyle.

Natalie was able to sip at the mixture as if it were really a mere glass of wine,
but she thought back to a few hours ago, when she woke up as a vampire...

***

Natalie's eyes snapped open and saw the room through a golden haze.  As she
became more aware of her surroundings with her new senses, she felt her
newly formed fangs pierce her tongue and she tasted her own blood.  The small
wounds in her tongue healed almost immediately, but the hunger Natalie felt
grew in intensity.  Before she could open her mouth to speak, Janette appeared
in her view and handed her a bottle filled with blood.  Nat gulped it down so
quickly that the images from the blood were just a blur.  As soon as she was
finished, Janette handed her another bottle.  

After several bottles, Natalie finally felt somewhere close to sated, although
she knew she would have to feed again soon.  She closed her eyes, leaned back
against the headboard of the bed, and gave into the feelings that threatened to
overwhelm her mere moments ago.  Janette had already explained to her what
it meant to a vampire to drink blood.  You could sense the very essence of the
person, every little minute detail.  It was very intimate, very arousing, and
could become very addictive.  Nat had a new understanding for what Nick had
faced every day as a homicide detective on crime scenes, around all that blood.

A craving this intense, that you would do anything to feel this way, to try to
quench the thirst inside of you.  She could see why Nick came to see it as a
curse...all the people he would had to have killed in order to feed this 'beast', as
he called it.  She could imagine all the guilt you would feel if you weren't able
to close yourself off from it, and she didn't think she would be able to do that. 
She wouldn't be able to see mortals as something to feed off of, like cattle.  It
was one thing to drink bottled human blood, but quite another to drain the
human yourself, Natalie thought to herself.

Janette began wiping at her child's chin and mouth with a damp cloth, and
Natalie opened her eyes.  "You are feeling better now, non?  Let's get you
cleaned up and dressed.  You can sit at the bar while I help Miklos get ready to
open the club.  Maybe we can stay there for a little while after I open up.  I
don't think you're ready for the club when it's full of people, but it should be
tolerable with the small amount of patrons who show up during the first hour
or so."

***

"Well, well, well.  What have we here?" Lacroix's voice pierced Natalie's
thoughts, as well as the relative silence of the room.  "Doctor Lambert.  No
longer a mortal, but a vampire."  Janette instinctively put herself between her
sire and her fledgling.  Lacroix ignored the action as he caressed Janette's
cheek softly.  "I must say that I'm rather impressed.  Well done, Janette."

"I did not do this for you, Lacroix.  I did it for Nicolas."  Janette replied stiffly.

He smiled arrogantly at his daughter.  "Ah, yes.  And I'm sure he'll thank you
for it too...bringing his mortal love into the darkness that he abhors.  He'll be
so grateful."

Natalie could not contain herself any longer.  She stood up to confront the
ancient vampire.  "I chose this so Nick and I could look for a cure together for
as long as it takes.  I'll always love him, and I'll never give up.  You can't stop
him...you've lost him this time, Lacroix."  

Lacroix turned his dark grin on the newest addition to his family.  "Au
contraire...Natalie.  Any way you look at this turn of events, I've won.  You
quite obviously remember the events at Azure, so I will tell you why I stopped
him.  He would rather you die than become what we are.  Instead of having
him bring you across, or doing it myself, I decided that the best way to claim
what he owes me would be to make him watch his mortal love grow old and
die, with no way of stopping it...as he once forced me to do."  He said the last
softly, almost to himself.

He was silent for a moment, but regained his voice all too quickly for Natalie's
liking.  "But you have chosen to become what he abhors.  If you go to him and
he rejects you, I win, because you will have done what I could not...shattered
his faith and trust in you, and the humanity he so longs for."

"And if Nick welcomes me with open arms?"

"If he accepts you, then I'll have regained my son.  As I have told Nicholas
numerous times, there is *no* cure.  Perhaps with you by his side he'll
remember how much he once enjoyed this life.  The best part of all of this is...I
didn't have to do a thing."  He gave a short giggle and was gone, only the
closing door and the slight scent of his cologne gave evidence that he had even
been there. 

Janette sat down heavily on one of the barstools and picked up her drink.  She
sighed, "Well, cherie, I think that went better than I thought it would."

Natalie sat down and gulped down her drink before replying, "I thought he
would be violently angry.  What do you think we should do now?"

"Perhaps you were right after all, Natalie.  Maybe we should go looking for
Nicolas as soon as possible."

Natalie smiled to herself as they began to make plans.  They would find Nick,
and she would prove Lacroix wrong.  She could make Nick see how right this
all was, and she would find a cure...no matter how long it took.  She had faith
enough for the both of them.  

The End