PRESS RELEASE: Written by Barbara Patrick Oct 9, 1999 Littleberg, Kansas Due to recent legislation in Kansas, and reflecting the view of some Kansans that dinosaurs actually existed at the time of Noah's Flood, this newspaper sent a reporter to Smalltown, West Virginia, to investigate reports of a living dinosaur. This is the story the reporter filed. DISCOVERY OF THE CENTURY? Baerasaurus Discovered! According to reports coming out of West Virginia, an actual living dinosaur has been sighted. Some reports even refer to there being two of these dinosaurs, or baerasauruses. They appear to travel with another large reptilian creature and some dogs. These baerasauruses seem to be very quick considering their size, as they seem to "disappear" from areas in which they are spotted. They have been named "baerasaurus", after their discoverer, eminent author, Robert Baer. Town Citizens Report Strange Happenings Several prominent citizens of Smalltown, West Virginia, state there have been many strange happenings occuring in their area . Entire tops of trees have been missing and residents report being awakened by the ground shaking as though a large animal were strolling by. When asked if they have seen any dinosaurs, the citizens just smile. Baerasaurus Gains Fans The popularity of the " baerasaurus" has become so great, that he has been enlisted as a character in T.V. commercials for one enterprising local business. The baerasurus has been affectionately named, "Computer Dinosaur" or "The Big Guy" by the townspeople. There's even talk of baerasaurus T-Shirts, baerasaurus dolls, and a comic book chronicling his imaginary adventures. One local grade school started the school year off by celebrating "Baerasaurus Day" on September 17. J.Carter Responds Former President Jimmy Carter stated Friday that any dinosaur with the "Carter smile" has got to be a good dinosaur. "I could use such a fellow on my team." Interview With Local Couple Proves Nothing This reporter interviewed Nathan Lovejoy and his wife Wanna concerning any information they might have about a baerasaurus. They said, "We have no secrets here!" NASA's Response A spokesperson for NASA has denied any knowledge of a living dinosaur. Concerning another matter, the same spokesperson stated "No comment", when asked if a recent satellite launch was temporarily halted by a dog which had wandered into the area. The spokesperson mentioned he previously served as a part of the Air Force UFO Investigative Team. Famed Scientist Give Facts Famed scientist, Professor Buford Lovejoy, has given us the facts concerning the so-called baerasaurus. He stated that if such an animal really existed, he would be a close relative to the apatasaurus, which is a member of the sauropod group. They averaged about 70 feet long and stood 12-15 feet tall at the hips. Most adults weighed 10-30 tons. Sauropods walked on four heavy legs like those of an elephant. A typical sauropod had a long neck, a small head, a long tail , and a huge deep chest, which is similar to the description given of the baerasaurus. They were plant eaters, which would explain the missing tree tops. The apatasaurus, or commonly called brontosaurus, lived in North America. However, Professor Lovejoy believes the possibility of a baerasaurus existing in a computer age, is no more likely than for a pteradactyl to exist today. Professor Lovejoy is well-known for his work in Robotic Research. Other News In other news from Smalltown, West Virginia, a group of children recently reported seeing a pair of large featherless birds flying over their school playground near the south edge of town. One very blurry photograph taken by their teacher revealed what appear to be two pterodactyles. This sighting has not yet been confirmed independently. Local residents questioned about these strange birds simply giggle and laugh out loud.