Copyright 1998 -- Robert Baer Jr. D J Entry ---- Wedding Jitters W A R N I N G --------------------- D I S C L A I M E R The following story is PURE FICTION, it REALLY DIDN'T HAPPEN, only in my mind. It is presented for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, AND NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY, it represents a struggle of the mind The Dinosaur Chronicles PROLOGUE In the vast regions of the Internet roams a Dinosaur, not just any dinosaur, a Computer Dinosaur! One who thinks ICQ means "Imperial Canadien Quarter" How is the "King of the Fossils" doing today? Read on and see! Entry # 1054 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's been a week since the canyon incident, and I still don't completely understand what happened. Oh well, soon the big double wedding will take place, and I'm the best man for both grooms! WOW! What an honor! Wish I had a tuxedo to wear, but I guess my Senator Paul Simon bowtie will have to do! The two happy "couples" decided to take a quiet drive in the country. Wanna Talk, Nathan Lovejoy, Samantha Maddog and Otto all rode in Wanna's car over to Lake Genova to enjoy the sunset and walk in the woods. Upon entering the glen, each couple went in separate directions. The conversations were all about the wedding, of course. "Otto" Samantha said to her finacee,"I just realized something, you haven't got a last name!" "Darling," Otto replied warmly,"you're right! Should we simply invent one, or should I just take yours?" As they laughed, a sinister figure slowly crept toward them. As they turned to look back at the lake, the "figure" pounced on Otto, knocking him down and biting him! It was Samantha's ex husband, a bulldog with a mean streak a mile wide! "Stop It!" Samantha screamed,"Get out of here, I'm not your wife anymore!" "OOWWWW!" the Bulldog howled,"I broke some of my teeth chewing on you, you overgrown German weiner dog!" "I don't want to hurt you," Otto said as he rolled over and back on all fours,"but you had better leave me before you really make me angry!" "Nothing doing, Arnold Swartzadoggie!" the bulldog growled,"you're not going anywhere with my woman!" "I'm not your woman anymore!" Samantha yelled,"we're divorced legally, and I'm going to marry Otto!" "So that's your name, you krout!" the bulldog grumbled,"I'm going to enjoy beating the stuffing out of you!" The bulldog jumped at Otto again, but this time Otto's force field was up, and the bulldog bounced off like a tennis ball on a wall! Samantha and Otto ran away while the bulldog lay on the ground, dazed and very angry! Meanwhile Wanna and Nathan were having some trouble of their own. As the two quietly chatted about the wedding, two men suddenly sprang up from behind Nathan, and promptly bound and gagged him! Wanna screamed, only to be "greeted" once more by the Leader! "Wanna, my love!" the Leader said sweetly,"I see your boyfriend is all tied up this evening, why don't you and me get hitched!" "YOU!" Wanna yelled,"I'd rather marry a rat!" "Oh come now, darling!" the Leader said,"admit it, Nathan's all wrong for you, I'm the one you really love! I've loved you ever since that day in my headquarters...." "You mean when I did this?" Wanna screamed as she slapped the Leader's face as hard as she could. "YOU'LL REGRET THAT, WANNA!" the Leader hollered,"REMEMBER, MY MEN HAVE YOUR RENEGADE MAN! DO WHAT I SAY OR THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM PAY FOR IT!" Wanna was scared, she didn't know what to expect next, but it was at that time that Samantha and Otto ran toward them, and Otto knew just what to do! "EEEOOOOOWWWWW" the Leader screamed as Otto bit him hard in the seat of the pants! "Just in time!" Wanna cheered. "Looks like a party!" Otto jeered,"I'll invited some of MY friends over!" BOOM!!! In the blink of an eye the Leader's two henchmen were out cold on the ground. "Hey Leader, now it's time for you to try my 2x4 on for size!" yelled the Gila Monster as he slowly walked towards him. It was at that time the Bulldog arrived on the scene, just in time to meet another one of Otto's friends. "You sure look small from up here!" I said with a big smile on my face,"are you lost, little doggie?" "He's not lost!" the Gila Monster interrupted,"he's going to the POUND! I'm going to pound him with this 2x4 when I finish with this Leader guy!" "May I swallow them first?" I said sounding serious,"they both probably taste terrible!" I said that to rattle the two bad guys, and it worked! The "brave" bulldog started whimpering and the "mighty" Leader was shaking in his boots! I decided to scare them both good when I sounded out a mighty "RRROOOOAAAARRRR Y'ALL!" Both passed out instantly! "Why didn't you let me club them!" the Gila Monster said angerly,"I had fun knocking out those other two bums!" "That's not neccassary!" I said with confidence,"look who's riding on my back!" The Gila Monster looked up and spotted Sheriff Wyatt Burp, perched on my back and said,"hey there officer, that's a funny looking squad car you're riding in!" "I've seen enough!" the Sheriff said as he slid down my tail,"someone fetch my squad car, I'm going to arrest all four ot these misfits!" "You're wish is my command!" Otto barked and BOOM!! Wyatt's squad car appeared before him. "WOW!" the stunned Sheriff said,"that's what I call service!" Wanna, Nathan and the Gila Monster helped Sheriff Burp load the assailants into his vehicle. "Well," Wanna commented,"Nathan, this kinda reminds me of our first date! But in a few short days we'll be off on our honeymoon!" "Us too!" Samantha said happily,"it's so wonderful to have a mate like you, Otto! You handled that brilliantly!" "Thank you, my love!" Otto said softly to Samantha,"but our friends deserve all the thanks!" "Hey, thank you for bringing me here!" the Gila Monster said,"anytime you need me to clobber someone, FIND ME!" "I'm so glad you brought me here, too!" I shouted,"there's lots of yummy looking trees nearby!" "Well, so much for a lovely evening alone," Nathan lamented,"oh well, you guys want to join us to watch the sunset on the lake?" "Sure!" I said joyfully,"that sounds like fun!" "Well," the Gila Monster grumbled,"I'll come with you also, maybe I can find an anthill along the way!" So all of us walked back to the lake and enjoyed the sunset! With both the Leader and Sam's ex-husband in jail, there shouldn't be any "surprises" at the double wedding. Let's hope not, anyway! End of Entry ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Note: Don't miss "D J Entry --- Double Wedding" next week and in two weeks watch for the premier of "BirdWorld"