Copyright 1998 --- Robert Baer Jr. Revised -- 2000 D J Entry - "The Trap" W A R N I N G ------ D I S C L A I M E R The following story is PURE FICTION, it REALLY DIDN'T HAPPAN, only in my mind. It is FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, and NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY. It represents a struggle of the mind. The Dinosaur Chronicles PROLOGUE Among the websites and gateways in cyperspace roams a dinosaur, not just any dinosaur, a Computer Dinosaur! One who believes "Windows 95" is a disaster movie about drapes! How does a "living fossil" like him do in today's world? Still as a dinosaur.......... Entry # 518 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This afternoon, I went on a nature hike with the Computer Gila Monster and Xeren Zzoom. We also had the Computer Renegade's robot dog Otto with us, I was "dogsitting" while he was at work. We decided to go to the Yugga Forest region on the other side of town, it was a long hike, but we made good time when Xeren and the Gila decided to ride on my back and let me "jog" all the way there! Xeren thought it was fun, but the Gila Monster complained the entire trip! Finally we reached our destination. "Everybody off!" I said as I arched my back and felt my two "passengers" sliding down my tail to the ground. "About time we got here you big galoot!" the Gila Monster snorted,"why couldn't you walk softer, it was like riding a jackhammer for two miles!" "Oh, stop complaining!" Xeren interrupted,"I thought it was a fun ride!" "I ride horses, not lizards!" Otto shouted in a Western sounding twaing. "I think you're taking this John Wayne business a little too seriously," I told Otto. "Hey, look above the trees!" Xeren said as he pointed upward,"aren't those two flying objects..." "Yes," I said sadly,"Romulas and Remus, I wonder what two pteradacyles are doing here?" Suddenly, the two airbourne dinosaurs squawked and flew down beyond a row of trees. "Something isn't right, I just feel it!" I said,"let's go over the hill and see what's happaning." "Hold on there you big igdet!" The Gila Monster grumbled,"we came here to explore and I came here to eat some big juicy ants, not to watch two lizard birds dive bomb a bunch of forest animals." "I agree with C.D.!" Xeren said, "something just doesn't seem right about this. Otto, scan the immediate area for other signs of life!" "Ok little britches!" Otto answered back,"I detect many humans straight ahead, wearing pith helmets and carrying weapons and other devices." "Hunters!" I exclaimed,"those two may be headed for trouble......" As I spoke, a loud "swoosh" sound was heard in that direction, followed by a lot of familiar sounding "squawking" and "screaming." "They've got them!" the Gila Monster shouted with joy,"they've caught them! Alright!" But I didn't feel like celebrating. I didn't feel very happy at all. "C'mon, y'all!" I yelled,"lets go see what happaned to them!" "Yeah, I want to see them squirm!" the Gila Monster said with a sinister laugh. "Let's go, come along Otto," Xeren called as all of us walked slowly and quietly up to the edge of the treeline. I stretched my long neck up for a quick look,"they're over there! And they're in a large net!" I whispered down. "What do we do?" Xeren asked. "I have an idea!" I said excitedly,"Otto, zap us with that invisibility ray so we can all sneak up and get a closer look at the situation." "Hey, I don't want to be invisible, you big dumb doofus!" the Gila Monster griped. "Stop your yammerin'!" Otto barked at Gila,"I'll hit us all with a low dose, we won't be transparent for too long." As he spoke, a strange green ray eminated from Otto's body, reaching all of us in a matter of seconds. "Hey, where is everybody" Xeren asked. "Oops, I forgot about that, partner!" Otto said,"now we can't see each other!" "Just great!" the Gila Monster complained, "how can we follow the big guy if we can't see him?" "Otto, give each of us individual directions so we won't run into each other!" I said, thinking quickly. "OK, little britches, walk over to that pine tree over on the left of the big boulder straight ahead. Leatherhead, go toward and climb on top of the big boulder. You, big fellow, walk slowly toward that clump of trees on the right side of that boulder. I can find my way around all of you pilgrims, because of my motion detectors. Now, move out and keep quiet!" Otto spoke as we all slowly moved into our "assigned" positions. We all saw Safari Sam and his men, surrounding the large net that contained my two arch enemies. "Now we have you two worthless pteradons!" Safari Sam exclaimed. "Wait a minute," Romulas said,"why did you capture us, I told you where you'd find that stupid Baerasaurus at, it's not my fault that you bungled the job!" "This isn't fair!" Remus screamed,"baiting us by leaving this one hundred dollar bill on the ground, it isn't even real! Ben Franklin is wearing a toupee!" "I knew you two couldn't resist money!" Safari Sam laughed,"I knew my bait would work! And I didn't bungle the job, madam! The Leader and I were stopped by that flying old man with the robot car and metal-munching dog! He told us to leave the dinosaur alone, but he didn't say a thing about leaving you two idiots alone!" "Hey, we helped you!" Romulas yelled,"and this is how you repay us?" "Now, now," Safari Sam said sarcasticly,"life stinks, get over it! " "Let us go, or I'll peck you to pieces!" Remus squawked. "You two are in no position in tell me anything!" Safari Sam chuckled,"this net is super strong, and my men are ready to load you two on the truck. Just think, you'll be famous, two well preserved dinosaur skeletons will be worth a lot of money!" "Skeletons!" Romulas screeked,"you mean...." "Yes!" Safari Sam said with a smile,"exactly! We'll sell your skins to a leather company! Just like we were going to do that overgrown lizard buddy of yours. Go ahead, yell for help! You two haven't got a friend in the world! No one will miss you! I'll bet if that overgrown lizard was here, he'd probably help us finish you two off!" At that moment, the invisibility "ray" was beginning to wear off, and soon all of us were visible, to the surprise of Sam's hunting "party." "Well, Computer Dinosaur!" Sam shouted at me,"look at what we have! Will you help us load them into the truck?" "No," I said,"I don't want to help you." "That's right!" the Gila Monster shouted,"after all those two did to you, let the goofy looking hunters have them!" "Maybe we better leave," Xeren said calmly. "Nerd boy is right!" one of the hunters said,"just stay out of this!" "I can't let you do this!" I exclaimed. "You mean you care about these two clowns?" Safari Sam asked with surprise. "Are you crazy?" the Gila Monster yelled,"they're getting what they deserve!" "No one deserves to die!" I said sternly,"not even them." "Stay out of this, dinosaur!" Sarafi Sam warned,"or we'll take you too! "I can't let you do this!" I said as I walked toward the net. "Fire the tranquillizer darts!" Safari Sam ordered. As two of his hunters aimed their guns, Otto sprang into action, quickly snatching both weapons from them in a matter of seconds! "Oh no!" Safari Sam snarled,"not another one of those robot dogs!" "You better smile when you say that, stranger!" Otto replied. "Now all of you goomers git out of here, or I'm going to have an early lunch!" I yelled and punctuated it with a loud "RRRROOOOAAAAAARRRRR y'all!" This had the desired affect, everyone of the hunters ran for their lives! I must be getting good at this, I thought to myself. I stared at the two pteradacytles in the net beside me, both were yelling things like "hey, let us out" and "don't just stand there, free us!" I just stood there, staring at them. "Hey, I know!" the Gila Monster shouted,"you scared everyone off because you want to beat them up yourself! You sly fox! Go pull up a tree and beat them senseless with it!" I still stood there motionless. Romulas and Remus were silent now, wondering just what I was thinking. "What are you waiting for, you overgrown reptile," the Gila Monster pleaded,"get them! Pound them good!" I finally opened my mouth and said,"Otto, free them." Aiming his "laser-beam eyes" very carefully, Otto cut the net open and the two bewildered creatures flew away. "What's the matter with you!" the Gila Monster screamed,"why didn't you bash them?" "Revenge is not my style," I said calmly,"it wouldn't change the past at all, would it?" "Well stated, big guy!" Xeren added,"I have to agree." "I think you're too soft headed and soft hearted!" the Gila Monster said,"I'd have clubbed them!" "You would do that to a fellow reptile?" Xeren asked. "I sure would, I almost ate my last date, she was a real snake!" "That's not a very nice thing to say about a lady, Gila!" "No, I'm serious, she really WAS a SNAKE! Bad temper, but she sure was a great kisser!" "You kissed a snake, YUCK!" "Hey, don't knock it till you try it, boy. Just be careful of the fangs......" "YUCK, you're grossing me out!" "Now, now you two!" I said,"let's just finish our hike, shall we?" "Ok," Xeren said,"I'm all for that!" "Me too!" the Gila Monster said reluctantly,"but I still think you should've crowned them both!" "Alright, hombres, let's move out!" Otto barked. "Can we change Otto's voice program again?" the Gila Monster asked,"this John Wayne imitation is getting on my nerves!" "Hey, I like it!" Xeren said,"why don't you go kiss a snake!" "Do you know where I can find one?" the Gila Monster replied. "Oh forget it!" Xeren snapped back. We all had a good time that afternoon, but I had to wonder. We saved those two flying dinosaurs from certain death, and not even a "thank you" for it. Oh well, I guess sometimes doing the right thing is "reward" in itself. Sometimes it's all the reward one receives. That's life! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of entry