Copyright 1998 -- Robert Baer Jr.

D. J. Entry -- First Date


	W A R N I N G  -----------   D I S C L A I M E R

The following is a work of PURE FICTION, it REALLY DIDN'T HAPPAN only in
my mind.  It is for
ENTERTAINMENTS PURPOSES ONLY and NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY.
It represents a struggle of the mind.


The Dinosaur Chronicles

PROLOGUE

In the mountains of West Virginia cyberspace roams a dinosaur, but not
just any dinosaur, a COMPUTER Dinosaur!  One who DOESN'T know who Bill
Gates is!   How does this jurrasic creature cope with this complex modern
world, well........ he's doing better!

Entry # 453
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Tonight is a very special night for the Computer Renegade -- aka Nathan
Lovejoy.  He has FINALLY
decided to go on a real date with Wanna Talk, she has had her "sights" on
him for a long time.
He "popped" by my cave, and asked for my opinion on how he looked.  I
almost didn't recognize
him without his "Zorro"-like costume on!  He looked downright "proper" in
a suit and tie.  

Understandably he was very nervous, I realize this was his "first date"
since his divorce, and he
seemed a bit "on edge" about it.  I hope I'm not THAT jittery when I find
another "dinosaur" to date!

Anyway, Wanna picked him up in her car, his dog Otto came along also!  

First, they went to dinner at the Cafe Liberity, a quaint little sit down
restraunt on the other side of
the city.  At first the materdee wouldn't let Otto into the restraunt with
them, but when Otto "spoke"
to voice his opposition, the man fainted right in front of them!  The
other patrons didn't seem to mind
the large German Shepard who laid under Nathan's and Wanna's table as they
dined.  Nathan was
so nervous, he nearly spilled his coffee and was constantly stuttering all
night.  Wanna, dressed in
an elegant white evening gown, took it all in stride and actually enjoyed
watching Nathan trying
to act "normal."  

After dinner, the two (and Otto) drove off into the country to a secluded
forest area known as
"The Pines."  There, during this moonlit night, Wanna and Nathan took a
walk into the woods.
Otto wanted to tag along, but Nathan told him to stay near the car.  So
the robotic canine laid in the
back seat and switched to "power saver" mode, his way of "taking a nap."

As they walked deeper into the woods, Wanna spoke,"I really had a nice
time tonight, Nathan."

"Was everything alright?" Nathan asked," I mean..... did you really
like...... I mean ...... did you..."

Wanna laughed and calmly said,"Will you please relax?  I won't bite! 
You're still too tense!"

"Well, this is the first time I've taken any lady out to dinner
since...... well since........"

"I know, Nathan.  You've told me all about it.  I know you've been through
a lot, your divorce, your
defection from the Order and all the events in between, but you have to
let all that go.  Forget the
past, stop reminding yourself of those events,  the important thing is you
and I are here now, and
I really want to be a part of your future, Nathan Lovejoy!"

"Are you sure of that?  My life is a real mess right now.  I'm constantly
flooded with new and
strange emotions, sudden happiness and sadness, guilt and rememberance,
happiness and pain...."

"Stop that, Nathan!   I have also been through a lot, remember?  I went
from being a sleaze reporter
on a tabloid to being accused of having an affair with the President!  I'm
so glad that you and your
friends were around to help me through all that, I still have nightmares
about being questioned by
all those government men.  Let's forget about all this tonight, aren't the
stars beautiful tonight?"

"Yes, they are," Nathan said as he and Wanna turned toward each other and
looked deeply into
each other's eyes.

"I love you, Nathan!" Wanna said softly as the two held each other closer.

As Nathan was about to speak, he was suddenly stuck on the back of his
head by a board!
It was the Leader's men and as they knocked out Nathan, one of them
grabbed Wanna from behind
and said,"I got her, Mr Tims!"

"Good work," Mr Timms told his cohorts,"I can't believe how lucky we were
to run into these two
here, near our camp!   The Leader will be so pleased with us!"

"Nathan!" Wanna screamed as she saw him unconscience on the ground,"LET ME
GO YOU SCUM
OR I'LL..."  Her voice was quickly muffled as another man tied a gag
around her mouth.

"Well well well," Mr Tims said as he picked up an object he saw on the
ground,"I do believe this 
is the Renegade's black box!  Reggie, set this thing to take us straight
to our new headquarters,
I know the Leader will be so pleased with us, it'll probably mean a
promotion!"

Reggie quickly figured out how to set the black box and with a loud BOOM!
they were all instantly
in a room within the Leader's new complex.  

"Reggie, take 'Nathan' down to the basement and tie him up," Mr Tims
said,"as for you, my dear,
we'll leave you here because I know the Leader will definitely want to
'talk' to you!"

Wanna struggled and kicked as two of the men tied her to a chair, and then
walked out of the room.  Mr Timms had just found the Leader, who was in
his room watching a late movie when
he was told the news.

"What have you done, you idiot!" the Leader screamed,"I didn't order you
to abduct anyone!"

"I know!" Mr Tims shouted back with happiness in his voice,"I thought we'd
surprise you!  We have
Nathan Lovejoy locked in the basement, that lady friend of his downstairs
and see, we now have
one of Nathan's devices!  I'll bet you're very happy with your faithful
followers now, aren't you?"

"YOU FOOL!" the Leader yelled,"YOU WASN'T THERE LAST MONTH WHEN WE TRIED
TO GET RID
OF THAT COMPUTER DINOSAUR, WAS YOU?  NATHAN'S UNCLE BUFORD WARNED ME TO
LEAVE ALL HIS FRIENDS ALONE, OR ELSE!   IF UNCLE BUFORD FINDS THOSE TWO
HERE, THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT HE'LL DO TO ALL OF US!"

"Oh no!" Mr Tims said nervously,"what do we do now?"

"Quickly, we have to untie those two. let them leave and pray neither one
of them tells Buford!"
the Leader answered,"we have to hurry, it may already be too late, that
black box of his has a
homming signal, we have to get them away from here now!"

As the Leader and Mr Tims ran downstairs toward Wanna, a loud BOOM shook
the room.

"Hey, who let that German Shepard in here?" Mr Tims asked.

"I don't like the looks of this!" the Leader muttered.

Otto walked over to the chair where Wanna was tied up, held up a front paw
which instantly
produced a large knife blade, and with one careful "swing" cut Wanna's
ropes.  As she reached down to finish untying herself from the chair, Otto
turned toward the two men and said
"you two better tell me where my master is, or I'll get really, really
mad!"

"You tell him," the Leader said timidly to Mr Tims.

"Why is this mutt talking like John Wayne?" Mr Tims asked the Leader.

"Nobody, but nobody messes with MY master!" Otto shouted as strange
electronic sounds eminated from his canine body.  A few seconds later,
another loud BOOM! shook the room and
laying before Otto and Wanna was Nathan Lovejoy, still unconscience and
tied up.

"NATHAN!" Wanna screamed as she threw off her ropes and quickly began to
untie her friend.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't send you two into the Arctic
Ocean right now!" Otto growled.

"OTTO!  HEAL!"  a voice shouted.

"Who was that?" Mr Tims asked.

"I know that voice, and if I'm right we're in a lot of trouble!" the
Leader said.

At that moment, as if my magic, fading into view were Uncle Buford and
Max, his robotic dog,
standing on the other side of the room.

"Where'd the old man come from and why is Scooby Doo standing next to
him?" Mr Tims inquired.

"So, you didn't heed my warning, did you?" Uncle Buford said angerly,"now
I told you what I'd do.."

"Wait, Buford!" the Leader pleaded,"this was all a big mistake, I didn't
authorize any of this, Mr Tims
did it all on his own, you gotta believe me!"

"Max!" Uncle Buford spoke to his dog,"is this pathetic person telling the
truth?"

Instantly, an amber ray emluated out of Max's eyes and directed the beam
at the Leader's head.
"Cerebral link complete" Max said in a dry computerized
voice,"scanning.... subject is telling the
truth, master!"

"You are lucky that I just installed a truth detector on Max," Uncle
Buford said with a grin,"otherwise I'd never would've believed you, you
blooming idiot!"

"Believe me, Buford," the Leader continued,"I'd never, ever do any harm to
your nephew, nor to
his lovely lady friend."

BBBEEEEEPPPPPP!!   BBBBEEEEEEPPPPPP!   Loud beeping came from Max as he
said, "subject is
now telling a falsehood, subject is now telling a falsehood!"

"Wait, I wouldn't harm your nephew, and I have the highest respect for
Miss Talk here," the Leader
said calmly.

BBBEEEEEEPPPPPP!  BBBEEEEEEEPPPPP!  "Subject is telling a falsehood! 
Subject is telling a falsehood!"

"You better quit while you're behind, twerp!" Uncle Buford said,"Max, scan
Mr Tims brain, I want
everyone who participated in this outrage to be brought before me now!"

Max quickly shined his amber beam on Mr Tims head and in a matter of
seconds BOOM!  all three
of his accompliances were standing before Uncle Buford.

"Leader, I don't believe in punishing the innocent, so I won't do anything
else to you," Uncle Buford
said,"however, these three men and Mr Tims are MINE!   I have a special
friend who really wants
to meet them.  Otto, scan and bring to me the Computer Gila Monster!"

In a matter of seconds. BOOM!  standing before them was the Computer Gila
Monster, wearing his
traditional leather jacket, boots and with 2x4 in hand.  

"Where am I?  What happaned?" he asked outloud.

"My reptile friend," Uncle Buford explained,"see those four men huddled
against the wall in front of
you?  They kidnapped Wanna Talk and my nephew tonight!"

"Say no more, Uncle Buford!" the Gila Monster said with a smile,"it's
clobbering time!"

The four men ran out the door with the Gila Monster following closely
behind.

Nervously watching, the Leader turned toward Uncle Buford and
said,"certainly you can't hold me
responsible for the actions of my 'friends', can you?"

"I'm glad to hear you say that, I fully agree!" Uncle Buford said with a
grin,"because he's not the only old friend I brought with me, the other
one is outside!"

"You don't mean.....no...... not him!"  the Leader pleaded.

As he spoke, loud screams could be heard from outside, shouts of
"MONSTER","GO AWAY!" and
"HELP!" were heard as another familiar voice shouted,"WHERE Y'ALL GOIN', I
DON'T SEE NO MONSTER!"

That's when I poked my head through an open window and said,"Hi Y'all!"

"You worthless lizard!" the Leader screamed,"what are you doing out there?"

"Hey, all I did was eat a few trees out here!"  I said sarcasticly,"all
these uniformed goomers are
yelling at some sort of monster, don't ask me where they got that from! 
Hey, what are Wanna and
Nathan doing here, Uncle Buford?"

"The Leader's men kidnapped them tonight!" he answered.

I stared at the Leader and yelled,"I'm gonna swallow you so fast you'll
think you're on a water slide!"

"Wait, big guy!" Uncle Buford shouted," the men who did this are already
being taken care of."

"OK, if you say so, sir!" But I'm still hungry, maybe I'll eat that water
tower out here in the
yard!" I said as I pulled my head back out the window.

At that moment the Gila Monster reentered the room, wearing a big grin on
his face.

"Did you have fun?" Uncle Buford asked.

"Hey Leader, I think your four fluckies are going to need first aid, a LOT
of it!" the Gila Monster said
happily,"I finally got to beat someone up!  Thanks for inviting me to the
party, Uncle Buford!  Can I
beat up the Leader, too?"

"No, my friend," Uncle Buford said,"I think the young lady in white will
take care of that!"

Wanna was furious!  She had untied Nathan and he had just 'come to' when
she looked at the 
Leader with an aweful mean stare!  Slowly, she stood up and walked over to
the Gila Monster and
said,"May I borrow this?"  "Sure ma'am, help yourself," he said as he
handed her his beloved 2x4.
She walked slowly toward the Leader, who was shaking in fear and saying
things like "take it easy, miss" and "it wasn't my fault."

As she stood in front of him, Wanna screamed,"YOUR MEN HAVE RUINED THE
GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, I'M GONNA SMACK YOU SILLY, YOU BIG STUPID SON
OF A ....."

Saying that, she swung the 2x4 and "scored" a direct hit, right in the
groin area!  As the Leader
doubled over and cringed in pain, she yelled,"And here's one for Nathan!"
as she broke the 2x4
over the Leader's head.

"Sorry about your board, Gila," Wanna said with sadness.

"Are you kidding?" the Gila Monster shouted in glee,"I loved watching you
in action!  Do you have a sister?"

"Are you alright, Nathan?" Wanna asked.

"Yeah, but I sure have a headache!" Nathan answered.

"Well, I think that's going around!" the Gila Monster said with a sinister
smile,"Hey Leader, I'll bet
you can hit those high notes now!"

More noises and voices could be heard from outside, someone shouted,"THE
MONSTER IS EATING
OUR WATER TOWER!"  "HEY Y'ALL, I'M THIRSTY!" sounded another familiar
voice.

"DINOSAUR!"  Uncle Buford called out,"TIME TO GO."

I stuck my head back through a open window and said,"We have to leave
already?  I was having
fun out here!"

"No, my large scaley friend," Uncle Buford said,"Our work here is done. 
Here's your black box, Nathan, will you do the honors?"

"Sure Uncle," Nathan said as he set the device,"thank you all for coming
to our aid."

Wanna hugged Nathan and said,"And thank you for a very wonderful evening!"

"I'll bet you two will want to be alone," Otto said,"how about me and Max
taking the posey back
home, pilgrim, and you and your lovely lady friend can pop back into the
woods and finish your
date!"

"I like your line of thinking, Otto!" Wanna said with a smile.

So the "dogs" took the rest of us home, and Wanna and Nathan finished
their first date, alone and
uninterrupted.  I heard they'll going to have another date soon.  If this
is what humans have to go through for courtship, I'm glad I'm a dinosaur!

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End of entry