Copyright 1998 -- Robert Baer Jr. D.J. Entry --- "Not Again!" -- Part 2 W A R N I N G ------------- D I S C L A I M E R The following story is PURE FICTION, it DIDN'T REALLY HAPPAN, only in my mind It's for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY --- it represents a struggle of the mind. The Dinosaur Chronicles PROLOGUE In a special section of cyberspace, a dinosaur roams. But not an ordinary dinosaur, a Computer Dinosaur! One who who tried to surf the net with a real surfboard! How does this "blast from the past" cope with today's problems? Let's see......... Entry # 303 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today is the big day, I'll have to testify before a grand jury! I was so nervous, I didn't want to have the same courtroom "experience" I had a few months ago in from of Judge Blanche Vito. Ben Maddog and I were ready to go. Since we couldn't "find" the Computer Renegade or the Computer Counsellor, we had to use the Renegade's computerized dog, Otto, to "transport" us to the courtroom building in Washington. Otto had a lot of "features" installed in his "body" and a "black box" circuit was one of them! Otto even had a "voicebox" in his "system" so all of us could communicate with him! "Otto," Ben Maddog said,"you'll have to pretend to be my legal assistant so you can come into the courtroom with us. Can you do that?" "Yes -- I -- can --- Ben" Otto said in an electronicly muffled voice. "No No, Otto," Ben shouted,"you have to talk with a real human voice to be convincing. Reset your voice system and remember, we're going to Washington" After a few seconds, Otto said clearly,"My fellow Americans, let me make one thing perfectly clear....." "Oh no, not Nixon's voice!" Ben barked,"Try another one, please!" After a few seconds, Otto spoke,"Well.... there you go again!" "Not Reagen, either!" Ben said in frustration. "Wait a minute," I said defensively,"Otto, try cross-referencing your motion picture database for a voice to try!" After a few seconds, Otto spoke once more,"Alright, how do I sound now, pilgrim?" "John Wayne?" Ben Maddog asked. "Close enough," I said,"Otto, use your on-board computer to locate Wanna Talk in the courthouse. Register those coordinates so we can "pop" in near her location." "Alright, you big guy!" Otto stated,"She's with a canine in Room 234 of the building, no other life forms within 200 yards of their vacinity, partner!" "I can't get used to a four legged Duke," Ben said with a chuckle. "OK, Otto, ready to transport," I said,"put us right in that room, please!" "Let's move'm out!" Otto said and BOOM! instantly the three of us were standing in front of Wanna Talk and Prairie Mason. Wanna was sitting in a chair, hands over her face, sobbing. Prairie was trying to comfort her, putting his paw on her shoulder. Both were "scared" when we suddenly appeared in the room. "Dinosaur!" Wanna shouted as she stood up and hugged my neck, still crying. "Mr Maddog!" she said happily, hugging him also. "Otto!" she exclaimed, and hugged him, too! "You're welcome, little miss!" Otto answered back. "Why does Otto sound like John Wayne?" Prairie Mason asked. "Where's the Renegade?" Wanna asked. "We don't know right now," I said,"please tell us what happaned to you!" "I'm so glad you're all here!" Wanna continued,"those people had me and Prairie in a small room all morning, trying to make me 'confess' to being groped by the President! I kept telling them that I never met the man, but they wouldn't believe me! They kept trying to put words in my mouth, and got upset with me when I wouldn't agree with them!" "I objected many times," Prairie growled,"but they continued to badger her! Even told me once to 'shut up, dogface!' If I wasn't an officer of the court, I'd bit them all! I've never seen such a bunch of....." "Well, do you know they want me to testify, too?" I asked. "You?" Wanna said with surprise,"why do they want you?" "We believe it's because he protected you last month from all those reporters" Ben stated. "All I know is those people really hurt my feelings!" Wanna sobbed,"they even accused me of wanting to sell my 'story' to a tabloid! I'm not the kind of woman they think I am! They're down the hallway in the conference room now, I bet they're talking about me!" "I sure wish we could hear what they were saying!" I said in frustration. "You're wish is my command, pilgrim!" Otto said,"I'll access the building's PA system and we'll all hear what they're saying in that little room!" "Otto, wait!" Ben pleaded,"you can't legally do that!" But it was too late, Otto's on-board computer had already 'made the connection' and now everyone in the building could hear an unusual conversation going on through the PA system. "Gentlemen, what are we going to do with Miss Talk," one voice asked. "I don't know, she refuses to cooperate!" another voice answered. "But the press said she knew the President!" a third voice added. "Look at this!" yet a fourth voice interrupted,"here is Wanna's file, she IS telling the truth, she only worked at the White House for less than a week before being fired by Mrs Clinton for being a conservative spy! The record clearly shows she's never been near the Oval Office at all!" "What can we do now?," the first voice spoke,"if we just let her go, we'll all look like idiots!" "What about this 'C' Dinosaur fellow?" the second voice asked,"what can we have him say about Miss Talk, maybe he'll testify about hearing Wanna confessing!" "His file must be a practical joke!" another voice spoke,"look at this, according to his bio, his full name is Computer Dinosaur, and he's a real dinosaur!" "What kind of foolishness is this!" the first voice yelled,"give me that file! Hmmmmm. says here he divorced his wife several months ago, because she flew off with a ...... WHAT!" "FBI faxed us this sheet," yet another voice injected,"he really IS a divorced dinosaur!" "That's just GREAT!" the first voice grumbled,"first, the Paula Jones case is dismissed, and now we're trying to talk a know-nothing bimbo and a reptile into testifying AGAINST the President!" "We'll be the laughing stock of the nation, what will we do?" "Let's quietly sneak them all out of the building, we'll make up a story to tell the press" "Yes, let's do that now, before they get a chance to ruin our case before the grand jury!" "Ok, someone send a Security detail to Room 234 so we can get them outta here!" Just then was heard the sound of a creaking door. "Janet! we told you not to interrupt this meeting. Why are you waving your arms? What are you whipsering about, speak up! I still can't hear you, Janet, speak up!" "Alright, sir!" a female voice shouted,"someone has bugged this room, everyone in this building, including the people in the Press Room, heard every word all of you said!" "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US SOONER!" This exclamation was followed by a bunch of obsinities and yelling. "Warning, warning, the bad guys are coming!" Otto said. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "I detect a large number of life forms heading toward our position, pilgrim!" Otto answered. "It's the reporters!" Ben Maddog surmised,"they'll want to interview Wanna and C.D." "NO!" Wanna screamed,"I don't want to talk to them!" "Me either," I said,"They might make me mad and I'll have to swallow some of them!" "Otto, get us outta here!" Prairie Mason barked. A buzzer sounded from "within" Otto,"Can't do it, volume exceeds maximum capacity" he said. "What does that mean?" Wanna asked Otto. "It means I can't 'pop' us home, Missy!" Otto said calmly,"Life forms now approaching outside hallway, and nearing room entrance." "Now what do we do?" I asked,"I wish we could just disappear!" "Now you're making sense, pilgrim!" Otto exclaimed as he emitted a strange blue ray from his body,"don't move or talk, people!" At that moment, the door on the far end of the room opened and a large group of reporters entered in. They looked around and one of them said," Where are they?" Another yelled,"Where's the girl and that dinosaur creature?" Otto then "threw" Wanna's voice down the hallway, bellowing "we're down here, dipsticks! Catch us if you can, you bunch of morons!" "That way!" one of the reporters pointed, and they all ran out of the room and down the hall. "What happaned?" I asked, "they were looking right at us!" "How did you like my creator's invisibility ray?" Otto asked,"works pretty good, doesn't it, big fellow?" At that moment, a loud BOOM erupted from the other side of the room. "Renegade!" Wanna shouted with joy as she ran over to him and gave him a big hug. "Please, you're cutting off my circulation," the Computer Renegade said,"will you please let go of me, Wanna?" "Why don't you two get hitched, pilgrim?" Otto said. "Why does my dog sound like John Wayne?" the Renegade asked. "Why didn't you come here sooner?" Wanna asked, still embrasing the Renegade. "Couldn't lock my "black box" onto Otto's signal until now," the Renegade answered. "Please, Renegade, zap us back to my cave!" I asked. The Renegade reached into his pocket and produced his "black box" and said, "OK, here we go!" BOOM! Instantly, all of us were in my living room. I went to the kitchen to fix some popcorn while the others sat down on my couch. Wanna grabbed the remote and sat next to the Renegade and said,"you wouldn't believe everything I went through today" as she turned on the TV. The news was on, the announcer said "Turmoil at the Federal Courthouse today as the Independent Council's office admitted that Wanna Talk and C., his name is Computer Dinosaur have no new evidence in the ongoing investigation. It is also reported that a large reptile-looking creature was seen in the Courthouse today, but that has not been confirmed. We all laughed as I passed a very large bowl of popcorn around. "None for me, thank you, cowboys don't eat popcorn!" Otto stated bluntly. "Otto, will you please stop talking like John Wayne, you're getting on my nerves!" the Renegade asked. Otto walked toward me and knocked over the bowl of popcorn. "Did I do that?" Otto said with a few chuckles and snorts. "Not Urkel!" the Renegade shouted,"just stick to John Wayne." "Whatever you say,.pilgrim!" Otto answered back. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of entry