Copyright 1998 -- Robert Baer Jr. D J Entry - The "Formula" W A R N I N G ------------------------- D I S C L A I M E R The following is a work of PURE FICTION, it DIDN'T REALLY HAPPAN -- only in my mind. It's just for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY -=-- It represents a struggle of the mind. The Dinosaur Chroncles: PROLOGUE Once upon a time in cyberspace, there roamed a dinosaur, but not an ordinary dinosaur, a COMPUTER DINOSAUR. One who thinks that "floppy disk" are all 5 1/4" size and 64K is a LOT of memory. How does this pre-historic relic adjust to the "modern" world, this time there seems to be a problem...................... Entry # 237 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yesterday when I was cleaning up around the cave, I found a very old book. It was all dusty, and when I opened it, I realized it was a book of alchemy. One of the pages in it caught my interest, so I went to my spare room to set up a crude labratory. Found all the neccessary "ingredients" and started to mix up my creation with my primitive chemistry set. At last, I was ready to test it, assurred of my success when the Computer Renegade walked into the room, saying "Dinosaur, what are doing back in here? What's all this stuff on the table for, looks like something out of a "mad scientist" movie!" "I'm ...... just going to have a drink of ...... this stuff!" I said advasively. "Wait just a minute," the Renegade said as he saw the open book in the center of the table, "let's see, it says "How to turn ye dragon into a .... Oh NO!" I was ready to drink my "creation" when the Renegade shouted,"STOP! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO! PUT THAT FLASK DOWN AND TALK TO ME!" "No," I said politeily,"I have to do this, you don't understand..." "I know this is dangerous, big guy!" the Renegade insisted,"you don't know what that formula will do to you, it could even kill you!" "I know what I'm doing, y'all will see," I said,"this is just what I need!" "PUT THAT FLASK DOWN!" the Renegade yelled. "NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled back as I raised the flask to my lips. "I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT!" the Renegade shouted as he reached for his black box, pointed at my face and pushed the button. In an instant, my flask disappeared and re- appeared in the Renegade's right hand. I was furious! "GIVE ME THAT BACK, NOW!" I shouted in rage. "Dinosaur, look at this stuff, it's not stable, just look at it!" the Renegade said as the flask he was holding started to smoke, bubble, and shake in his hand! It shook so bad that the flask slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor. On impact, the "formula" exploded! I was hurled through the air and thrown against the stone wall on the far side of the room by the force of the blast. Minutes afterwords, I was still groggy, lying on the floor and unable to move. I could faintly hear voices, people shouting, some calling out my name. As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw the Computer Counsellor, Xeren Zzoom, and the Computer Gila Monster standing over me. "Dinosaur, are you alright!" the Counsellor screamed, almost in tears. I still could barely move and all I could think about was the Renegade. Where was he? Was he injured? I tried to speak, but all I could say was "Renagade." I was really worried. What have I done? All those thoughts kept swirling through my mind as I lay on the floor. "He's moving, at least he ain't dead!" said the Gila Monster. "The explosion was caused by this mixture on the floor," Xeren reasoned," I wonder what the big guy was trying to do?" "I can answer that question!" the Computer Renegade said as he walked into the room. "Renegade!" I shouted in relief," But........ how.......... how ............" "How did I escape?" the Renegade finished,"I still had my black box in my other hand and when I saw the flask falling, I pressed the 'emergency escape' button and ended up in Cleveland! Too bad the emergency transport has a short range, that's why it left the big guy behind." "So, tell us what in the world he was trying to do?" the Counsellor insisted. "It's all in this book," the Renegade said as he picked up the dusty old alchemy book off the floor,"he was working on this formula -- How to turn ye dragon into a human!" "He was trying to become human?" the Counsellor asked in a bewildered tone. "A human?" the Gila Monster interjected,"who wants to be a yukky old human? .... er .... no offense, guys!" "I do!" I answered softly, my vision was clearing up and I was starting to feel the pain of my huge body's impact with the wall. "Why?" the Counsellor asked me in tears,"you almost got yourself killed over this!" "I don't know if I can explain it," I said sadly,"I'm starting to feel very alone. I know I have good friends to talk to and keep me company, but I miss the little things that only come from a good mate. A warm hug, a kiss, the pleasure of holding the claw of the lady you love. I also don't really feel like dating again, either. I really wouldn't know where to begin since I haven't had a date in over a decade! So I felt "trapped" in my situation, I thought if I could change into a human, these problems would be easier to solve. Let's face it, y'all, there aren't any more female dinosaurs out there, as a "man" I'd stand a better chance." "Dinosaur, you're wrong!" the Counsellor said in a calmer voice,"I been divorced longer than you have, and believe me, "dating again" and "feeling lonely" are problems we humans don't have many answers for, either. I've only dated a few more times, and the truth is I'd rather be alone. Being human has no advantage here, my big friend." "The Counsellor is right," the Renegade added,"I told you about the problems I've had to deal with even before you discovered my true identity. Believe it or not, C.D., you and I have a lot in common in this area. I hadn't started dating again, either. I've had many invitations to lunch and dinner, but I've turned them all down. I also realize that Wanna Talk is 'sweet' on me, but I can't even feel comfortable dating her! Sometimes I wish I were a dinosaur, then I could do the heroic things you do all the time! Can't you see that you are special and have an important 'role' in life. Even if you'd succeeded in this 'change' of yours, you'd still be the same 'person' inside." "Dinosaur, why didn't you come to me with this book?" Xeren questioned,"I could've told you just by looking at this formula that it wouldn't work. Besides, you're not a dragon!" "Dragon, dinosaur, what's the difference?" I answered. "There's a big difference, you knothead!" the Gila Monster grunted. "Can you forgive me, y'all?" I cried,"especially you, Renegade, I ............." "No apology needed," the Renegade said with a grin,"I understand your feelings." "What's to forgive?" the Counsellor said,"you made an error in judgment, next time, talk to us about it. We all care about you deeply, big guy! I was very frightened when I ran into this room and saw you lying there on the floor! Can you move now?" "I don't know," I said in frustration. "Get up," the Counsellor urged me. "Get up," the Reneagde added. Then I heard everyone in the room saying "get up, get up, get up............." ///////////////////////////////// "Get up, Uncle Dinosaur!" a familiar youthful voice barked. It was Alice Mason, one of Prairie's children. "Wake up, Uncle Dinosaur!" Allen added as he tugged on my bedcovers. "We heard you fall out of your bed," laughed Anita,"are you alright?" "Remember, Uncle Dinosaur, you promised to take us to see the tar pits this morning," Alexander added. "Where is everybody?" I said in a startled stammer,"where's the Counsellor, Xeren, the Renegade?" "We don't know!" Alice answered,"mom dropped us off here this morning and we all just came into your cave when we heard you fall out of bed!" "Remember, you told mom and dad that you'd watch us today while they're at work." Alexander stated. "Oh yeah, that;s right," I said, suddenly realizing that I had just had a really bad dream! I got up on all fours and ran straight for my spare room. It was filled with boxes and other junk, but no "labratory!" I breathed a heavy sigh of relief! It really was all a dream! "Are you feeling alright?" Anita asked me,"you're acting very strange." "Just had a nightmare, that's all," I said in a reassuring tone,"let's get ready for our walk, meet me outside, kids, I have a little something to do first." So all four of the Mason "pups" were waiting outside as they watched me throw an object into the trashbin by my cave. "What did you throw away, Uncle Dinosaur?" Allen asked. "Just a dusty old book," I said with a smile as we all walked into the forest. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of entry