Copyright 1998 -- Robert Baer Jr.

D.J. Entry - Trouble in Florida

     W A R N I N G -----------------   D I S C L A I M E R 

The following is PURE FICTION, it REALLY DIDN'T HAPPAN,  only in my mind.
This is just for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, and NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO
SERIOUSLY  --- It represents a struuggle of the mind.

The Dinosaur Chronicles

PROLOGUE

Once upon a time in the universe known as cyberspace roamed a dinosaur. 
Not an
ordinary dinosaur, a Computer Dinosaur!   One who thinks a "IBM" is a
missle and an
Compaq is what a lady keeps face powder in.  How does a ten-ton
pre-historic creature
survive in today's high tech world, with a lot of help from his "friends!"
 Read on!


Entry # 203
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was evening, and I was busy "spring cleaning."  But since all my
"springs" were "clean"
I decided to do the dishes instead.  I was rinsing the last plate when I
heard a familiar 
sounding BOOM!!! in my living room.  It was the Computer Renegade, and he
looked very
upset.  "Dinosaur!"  he shouted,"we need to leave right away!" 

"Why?" I asked.

"Because your friend the Computer Gila Monster has been arrested!" the
Renegade answered,"he's being held in a sherriff's office in Florida, the
Computer Counsellor is
going to meet us there with the rest of the 'gang.'  We have to hurry,
come on!"

"Ok, I'm ready!" I said and with that, the Renegade pushed the button on
his "black box"
and BOOM!!! we were instantly in a city park one block away from the
sherriff's office.
The Counsellor greeted us there and explained,"I brought Xeren Zoom and
Ben Maddog
with me, Prairie Mason is in court and Wanna Talk is still working at the
law office."

"Ok, but why are they holding the Gila?" the Renegade asked.

"Let's find out," said Ben Maddog,"if it's something minor, I'll have him
out in two shakes!"

"OK, let's go inside," the Counsellor said,"except you, big guy, I don't
think you'll fit through
those glass doors, better stay here in the park, we won't be long!"

"Well, alright," I said,"maybe they'll be some nice leaves I can snack on
while I'm waiting!"

That said, Ben, Xeren, the Counsellor and the Renegade all entered the
sherriff's office
and stood before the desk of one of the area's deputies, Bubba James.

"May I help y'all?" Deputy Bubba said politely.

"We're here to see the Gila Monster," Xeren said.

"You mean that funny looking gator dressed in a leather jacket and boots?"
Bubba questioned.

"That's him, officer,"  Ben Maddog stated,"why is my client being held
for."

"Wow, a talking dog!" Bubba said jokingly,"that's a good trick, and he's
even wearing a business suit!  Which one of you does his voice?"

"Deputy James, I'm an attorney!" Ben retorted,"and I want to know the
charges you have against my client!"

"I don't know how you're doing this talking thing," the Deputy
snorted,"but that 'creature'
in my lockup is there because he's a danger to society, a menace on the
streets!"

"But you haven't answered Ben's question!" the Counsellor stated,"why is
the Gila Monster in your jail?"

"Because, little lady," the Deputy said sarcasticly,"in my opinion, this
'thing' deserves to be
caged, that's why!"

"What about due process?  What about his rights?" Ben barked loudly,"This
isn't justice!"

"Shut up or I'll muzzle you, mutt!" screamed Bubba James,"I say that gator
is a monster,
and mine's the only opinion that counts, so the rest of you can leave now,
and take this
talking canine with you!"

"Can we at least see him?" the Renegade asked.

"NO!" the Deputy shouted,"now get out!  The animal control people will be
here in the morning to put that gator to sleep, now leave!"

As they were leaving, Ben Maddog said,"I can't believe this!  That idiot
is treating me like a
common dog!  He has a lot of nerve!  And since when doesn't the Gila have
any rights?"

"Look," the Renegade said calmly,"While we were in there, my "black box"
recorded the
coordinates of the Gila Monster, let's just "pop" him out of there and go
home."

"I sure wish we could teach that Deputy James a lesson!" Ben Maddog
barked,"he has
no respect for me or the Gila Monster."

"I have an idea!"  the Computer Counsellor said happlily,"and with all
your help, I think
we can have a little fun with Bubba!"

So the Counsellor told her plan to all of us.  "Sounds like fun!" I
snickered.

"But we need a diversion so I can 'pop' in there and explain my plan to
the Gila Monster,"
the Counsellor said,"And I know who we can use to do the job!"

The Counsellor borrowed the Renegade's cell phone and called Prairie
Mason's law office.
She spoke to Wanna Talk and explained what she wanted her to do.  "You
want me to
dress up like what?" Wanna argued with the Counsellor.

"Wanna, we need a diversion," the Counsellor explained,"and I can't do it
because I'm going in to talk to the Gila Monster.  We're all counting on
you, please?"

"Well, alright," Wanna sighed,"I'll do it because you guys have helped me
when I was in
trouble, give me five minutes to change, then zap me over there."

So at approximately nine o'clock that evening, we put the Counsellor's
plan into action.
First, the sherriff's office had a single visitor.  "Pardon me, y'all,"
the visitor said shyly,
"could y'all come over here and give me some directions?"  The visitor was
Wanna Talk,
dressed as a classic 'Southern Belle' big white dress, parasol and all! 
She batted her
eyes, and had Deputy James completely mesmorized.  As Bubba moved away
from the
holding area, Wanna put one hand behind her back and "signalled" that the
coast was
clear."  

"Ok, we're ready!" Xeren shouted as he put down his binoculars,"NOW!"

As that point, the Counsellor "zapped" her way into the Gila Monster's
cell, and quickly
explained her plan and what she wanted him to do.  The Gila Monster,
although a little
upset because her plan had no violence in it, agreed to do exactly what
she wanted.

As Bubba slowly approached Wanna, she saw a familiar "flash of light" in
the background.
"Thank God!" Wanna thought to herself,"the Counsellor's gone, so I can
leave!"

"I have to be going now!" Wanna said as she started to leave.

"What's the rush?" the Deputy said as he grabbed her arm,"how about a
little kiss, sweet
thing!"

"Kiss this!" Wanna shouted as she hit the deputy in the jaw with her fist.
 The force of the
blow made Bubba fall to the floor, he could only watch as Wanna ran
outside, and in a 
"flash of light" disappear right before his eyes!

Back in the park, Wanna appeared and said,"Counsellor, next time you get
to be Scarlett
O'Hara!  That guy was a real jerk!"  

"Calm down Wanna!" the Counsellor said,"Xeren, Renegade, hurry and get
those black 
boxes reset so we can do the switch.  Do you know what to do, dinosaur?"

"I'm ready!" I said with a smile as I lowered my head.

Inside the sherriff's office, Ben Maddog returned to talk to the deputy. 
"Hey mutt! I thought
I told you to leave!"  Bubba shouted,"I don't care if you are wearing a
expensive suit, you're
a dog, not a lawyer!"

"Indeed, sir, I'm only here to tell you that I agree with what you're
doing, that creature could
be very dangerous" Ben Maddog said calmly.

"How dangerous?" the curious deputy asked.

"Did you notice the way he could speak?" Ben asked,"can't you see that
he's could be an
experimental animal from the nearby college?  He may be a mutant, he could
even mutate
into a larger creature, there's no way to know for sure is there, officer?"

"Well," the Deputy pondered,"I wonder..... neah, that couldn't happan, he
seemes stable
enough."

"I don't know!" Ben Maddog shouted,"he could start mutating any minute!"

That was the Gila Monster's signal to start his "act."  "OOWWW!" he howled
loudly,"OH
THE PAIN, THE PAIN!"

Bubba ran over to his cage and said,"Alright you oversized piece of
luggage, shut up!"

"I REALLY FEEL STRANGE!" the Gila Monster continued as he rolled around on
the floor,
"I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING TO CHANGE!"

With that, Ben Maddog ran outside and started barking.  That was the sign
to "make the 
switch."  Xeren and the Renegade each pressed buttons on their black
boxes, instantly
making the Gila Monster disappear and me to "reappear" in his place inside
his cell!

As I looked at the deputy, he was scared stiff!  "WHO DARES TO IMPRISON
ME?" I shouted
with a deep voice of "doom."  That's all it took, the "brave" Deputy James
ran outside so fast that he didn't even stop to lock the front door behind
him.  He ran away so fast that
he looked like a sprinter!  As the rest of the gang watched the deputy run
away, the
Renegade "zapped" me back in the park.  "That was fun!" I said with a
chuckle,"I wonder
if he'll run all the way to Georgia!"  Everyone laughed.  

The Computer Gila Monster looked at everyone and said,"thank you for
getting me out of
there, folks."  He looked at Wanna and said,"Nice outfit, going to a
costume party?"
"No!" Wanna answered back,"I'm modelling this dress for the Counsellor,
she's going to
wear it next time!"

"I can't believe how badly I and the Gila were treated!" Ben Maddog said
in frustration,"how
can one person's opinion be the basis for taking away our rights?   Just
because I have
four legs and floppy ears doesn't mean my law degree means nothing!  Just
because the
Gila Monster looks different from everyone else doesn't mean he's
dangerous?  You folks
know us, you know that we're good citizens, how can one man's faulty
opinion change
that?"

"It shouldn't!" I said proudly,"that's not the way we think!"

"That's right!" the Renegade said.

"Let's go home now, I think Bubba's going to think twice before rounding
up any more
critters" the Counsellor said.

"Why don't we come over to my cave?" I suggested,"I'll fix us all a bunch
of fried mushrooms!" 

"Sounds good!" Xeren said excitingly, let's go!

BOOM!!!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of entry