Copyright 1998 -- Robert Baer Jr.

D.J. Entry - Wanna gets fired!


	W A R N I N G  ----------------------  D I S C L A I M E R 

What you are about to read is PURE FICTION, it REALLY DIDN'T HAPPAN, only
in my mind.
It's only a story and NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY.  

The Dinosaur Chronicles:

PROLOGUE

Once upon a time in the vast vastness of cyberspace roams a dinosaur, not
just any dinosaur, a Computer Dinosaur!  One who thinks "K" stands for
K-Mart and "MB" stands
for Milton Bradley.  How does this "ancient warrior" fare in today's
"world?"  Read On.


Entry # 192
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This morning I had guests over at my cave.  My lawyer friend Prairie Mason
came with
his family, his lovely wife Prairie Rose and their four children.   They
were too old to
call them "puppies" anymore, but not quite the adult prairie dogs their
parents are.
Allen, Anita, Alexander and Alice are their names, it was a "A" thing,
Prairie Rose
often joked.  The kids were playing outside while us "grownups" were
having tea
and chatting.

"Lovely   er.... cave Mr Dinosaur!" Prairie Rose said,"did you decorate it
yourself?"

"Well, I did have a little help from my friends," I said proudly.

"It was very considerate of you to have a fire hydrant in your restroom,"
Prairie Rose
complimented,"I found it right beside that large white indoor swimming
pool."

"That's not a swimming pool, Ma'am," I started to explain when I heard the
kids barking
wildly outside.

Alexander ran to me and said,"Uncle Dinosaur, there's a lady in a pink
jumpsuit running
toward us, and she's carrying a suitcase!"

As he finished speaking, the lady ran straight to me, having to grab my
neck to keep from
falling down.  "It's Wanna Talk!" Prairie Mason said,"what's wrong?"

Wanna sat down on the couch to catch her breath.  She seemed very nervous
and upset.
"They're after me!" she shouted,"I don't want to talk to them!"

"Who's after you?" I asked,"what's going on, Wanna?"

Then Wanna began to tell her story.  "I've been working at the White House
for a while,
and I really liked being part of the Press Secretary's general staff. 
While I was at my desk
this morning, two secret service agents came to me and said, "Miss Talk,
come with us
please."  So I went to one of the meeting rooms with the two agents, where
another agent
was waiting for me.  "Miss Talk, one of your co-workers said you told her
that you listened
to Rush on the radio on your way to work, is this true?"  I said,"yes it
is" and before I could
say another word, the man shouted "So you admit it!  The boss lady said
you were a member of the Right Wing Conspiracy, and now you confess!"  I
tried to tell him that I was
refering to the rock band 'Rush' and not Rush Limbaugh, but no one would
listen to me!
As the men escorted me out of the White House through the servant's
entrance, they
warned me not to go to the press and that they'd all deny that I ever had
a job there in the
first place!  I'd been quietly fired, for no reason at all!"

"Oh dear," Prairie Rose said,"that must've been terrible!"

"It got worse," Wanna Talk continued,"as I stood alone on the sidewalk,
there was a group of reporters standing across the street, one of them
shouted,"Look!  Another one of Bill's
bimbos!"  Another shouted,"I smell a big story here!" then the whole mob
ran toward me!
I ran away from them, and barely got to my car when the entire bunch
surrounded it!
They were shouting questions like "Did you ever have a physical
relationship with the  President?" , "who are you covering for?"  and "did
he buy you a dress, too?"  I honked
my horn and 'floored' it!  I didn't hit anyone, but those reporters all
got into their cars and
followed me home!  I had just enough time to pack this suitcase before
they arrived.  I
'floored it' again and drove all the way here!  I had to stop at the edge
of the woods when
I ran out of gas, and now here I am!   They may still be following me,
please help me
Dinosaur!  Have your handsome friend in the Zorro outfit 'zap' me
somewhere else, will
you?  I'm not a slut!  Why are all those reporters so mean!"

Wanna began to cry, and Prairie Rose sat down beside her and hugged her,
quietly
saying,"it's alright, dear, you're safe now."  As she hugged Wanna,
Prairie Rose looked
at her husband and said,"Honey, this poor woman is terrified, isn't there
something you
can do to legally get those thugs off her back?"  

I'm afraid not," Prairie Mason said sadly,"there is freedom of the press,
and unless they
do something unlawful to her, they have every right to pursue her and try
to talk to her."

As he was speaking, the kids began barking again, Alice ran to her mother
and said "Mommy, there's a bunch of cars and vans coming this way!"

"Oh no, they're here!" Wanna cried,"I wish they'd leave me alone!"

"They're not coming in here!" I said valiantly,"I see to that right now!"

I ran outside and I couldn't believe my eyes!  There were car, vans and
satellite trucks
as far as the eye could see!  Slowly coming toward me was a huge mob of
people, and
I ran up to where they were.

"Hey y'all!" I shouted,"this is my land, and I want y'all to leave right
now!  Leave my friend
alone!"  

"So she is in that cave!" one of the reporters shouted.

With that "prononcement" the mob ran past me toward the cave entrance. 
"I'm going to
have to put my feet down!" I screamed as I punched my front feet against
the ground.
This caused a small "earthquake" making all the reporters fall to the
ground.  I then ran up
in front of my cave entrance and yelled," I thought I told y'all to git
off my land!"

Just then, Prairie's kids all stood in front of the cave, growling and
barking at the mob.
"Leave her alone!" Anita shouted.  "You guys made her cry!" Alice yelled.
"Go away!" barked Alexander.  "I'll bite the first one who comes near this
cave!" Allen 
growled.  

"Settle down, kids!" Prairie Mason said as he ran out to the mob.  "I'm
Wanna Talk's
attorney, Prairie Mason, and my client has no comment at this time."

Then the mob started shouting questions at Mr Mason:  "Was Miss Talk in
the Lincoln
bedroom?","Did she receive any gifts from the President?","When will your
client be
subpeoned by the Special Prosecuter?","Will she plead the fifth","We heard
she was
a right wing spy, can you comfirm this?","Is this the first politican
she's had an affair with?"

Prairie Mason was getting angry, he yelled,"You bunch of idiots!  Wanna
has never even
met the President!  What's the matter with you people, can't you see she's
innocent!"

This outburst made the mob even more excited,"Let's all rush the big
lizard!" one of them
said,"and we'll use pepper spray on the muts!" another answered back.

"You leave my children alone!" Prairie Mason screamed.

"That does it, y'all!"  I shouted,"leave or I'll call the police!"

This made the entire crowd laugh mercilessly! 

"ALRIGHT!" I yelled at the top of my lungs,"LEAVE OR I'LL EAT ALL YOUR
EQUIPMENT,
LIKE THIS!"  I saw a satelite truck a few yards from me.  So I stretched
my long neck over
and swallowed it with one loud GULP!   Good thing there was nobody inside
it, the driver
looked up at me and said "the insurance company is never going to believe
this!"  As I finished my "snack" I looked at the rest of the crowd and
yelled "WHO'LL BE THE NEXT ONE TO JOIN ME FOR LUNCH!"  Then I let out a
big "RRROOOAAARR Y"ALL!" and that made everyone run to their vehicles! 
They ran so fast that some of them almost got trampled!  A huge cloud of
dust formed as all those vehicles "burned rubber" to "escape"
my "wrath."  I looked at a stunned Prairie Mason and said,"I better stop
scaring people,
I'm beginning to like it!"  

We all went back inside the cave to find a very relieved Wanna Talk say
"thank you for
getting rid of those reporters!"  

"You're welcome!" I said with a big smile.

"WOW!  You were awesome!" Alexander shouted.

"Yeah, Uncle Dinosaur, you sure showed them!" Anita barked.

"Will I get as big as you when I grow up?" Allen asked.

Then Wanna wondered,"What will I do now?  I don't even have a job anymore!"

"Oh yes you do!" Prairie Mason said,"you can come to work in my law office
in Arizona!"

"That's right," Prairie Rose added,"we have an opening, will you accept?"

"Yes!" Wanna exclaimed,"Yes, I will!  Thank you so much!"

"YEA!" all the kids shouted happily.

Wanna stood up and hugged me and said,"thank you, big guy, I knew you
wouldn't let
me down!"

You're welcome, Wanna," I said,"now, anyone for some garden salad!"

We all had a good meal, and as I watched the Mason family and Wanna drive
away
toward the west, a loud BOOM sounded behind me.  It was the Computer
Renegade,
who asked "did anything exciting happan this morning?"

I said,"oh, you know, just the same dull routine!"


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End of entry