Copyright 1999 -- Robert Baer Jr. PROLOGUE Ever wonder what would happen if the whole world had "gone to the birds?" IT HAS! In BirdWorld. This is the saga of Robin Mallory, radio personality, loving wife and mother. How does she keep up with her fast paced and ever changing life? "Chipper" Birdwell, Robin's father, has the answer to that question! (and many more....) BirdWorld - "The Foreign Object" Today, we find Chipper up in his tree, casually perched on a limb. "Hello there!" he shouts down to us,"I was getting ready to fly around the town, a nice, leisurely stroll in the sky. Things are very calm here in BirdWorld today, not like it was last Saturday when nearly the entire town awoke to a big, scary surprise! It was early last Saturday morning, the sun was only beginning to rise. I had spent the night over at Robin's birdhouse because I wanted to get an early start on taking the kids out for 'early bird worm hunting.' Suddenly, the ringing telephone woke all of us adults up, how the children slept through all that noise is beyond my comprehension. Anyhow, Robin answered the phone and heard a very disturbing report! Two doves on night patrol near the portal into the real world witnessed a very large object rolling through the portal, coming to rest only about thirty feet from the old oak tree. The frightened caller could only describe it as a large, blue-grey mass that seemed somewhat round, and seemed to be giving off a terrible odor! While Robin was yet on the telephone, the general alert alarm sounded all over the countryside. Apparently, one of the doves had alerted the authorities, who immediately sounded the alarm! This noise was enough to awaken the rest of the household. "Hey!, what's going on!" James shouted as he wobbled into the hallway barely awake. "Mom, Dad, what's all this racket outside?" Chuck asked as he looked outside and saw what seemed to be a large flock of birds flying toward the horizon. "Looks like there may be trouble at the portal!" Robin said calmly to her children,"Joe, honey, stay here with the kids while Dad and I go investigate." "Me?" I asked. "Yes, Dad," Robin answered,"you're a lot older than most of the birds here, if this object came from the outside world, you may be able to identify it better than the rest of us, c'mon, we better fly over there now!" With that, Robin and I flew out the window and in the direction of the old oak tree. A crowd had formed, surrounding the strange looking blue-grey blob that had mysteriously invaded the countryside. I had to admit that in all my years on this earth, I'd have never seen such a weird looking and foul smelling thing as that! We landed near the place that Edward R Sparrow had set up his moblie radio link. "Quite a strange looking thing, isn't it?" Edward said emotionlessly,"I have no idea what it is." "Sure stinks, don't it, Eddie!" I added. "Sir, do not EVER call me EDDIE again!" Edward chirped coldly. You could hear a lot of talking among the gathered birds, many thought it was a sleeping monster, some were afraid that at any second, it would awaken and chase them all around the countryside! Nearly everyone was too scared to move too close to it. A few in the crowd thought it was a weird shaped space alien! "I know what it is!" Robin shouted to the crowd, but before she could say another word, in the air, a blue streak flew straight at it! The blue 'streak' bounced off the surface of the thing, and landed several yards beyond the crowd of birds. Robin and I flew over in that direction and saw that it was Wild Bill Bluejay, he had tried to 'ram' the object with his whole body! "Wild Bill, are you crazy?" I screamed. "Are you alright?" Robin asked. "Hey, did I get it?" Wild Bill questioned,"watch out, it packs quite a wallop!" Robin flew up unto a low branch of the old oak to address the crowd. "Everyone, listen to me!" she shouted,"this large object that you see before you came from the outside world! It's called a trash bag, and humans place all of their garbage in them to be thrown away!" "That explains the horrible smell!" I shouted. "Robin, how to we get rid of it?" someone in the crowd yelled out. "I know!" Wild Bill screamed out,"let's all fly through the sky and ram it at the same time! That'll bounce it back through the portal, and give all of us birds some badly needed exercise!" "NO, Wild Bill!" Robin shouted,"that won't work! I'll contact our canine friend Otto on the radio, he can get rid of this thing in a flash! Now, everyone, this huge trash bag won't hurt anyone, let's all go home and I'll call Otto, OK?" My daughter sure has a way with words! Immediately, the crowd of birds flew back to the city as Robin and I returned home and called the furry creature! He came and 'zapped' that thing away, I still don't know he does that! Anyway, later in the day, Robin explained to us that sometimes, humans take their garbage and dump it anywhere. She reasoned that perhaps a strong wind blew it through the portal, or it may have fallen from a moving vehicle and rolled here. Either way, it's gone now! No offense, but can't you humans do a better job of disposing of your unwanted trash? That's one thing you have to admit about BirdWorld, we birds keep it very clean here! Well, sorry about the lecture, folks, but you have to say, I'm right, right? Gotta go take my flight around the city now, I'd ask you to join me, but you don't have wings! HE HE HE Bye for now, talk to you later! -----------------------------------------------------------------------