"Night Out"

By Bart "Shag" Walls

Amos and Hannah (C) Robert Baer Jr.

Loner, Pin-Pointer, Annihilator and Lita (C) Bart "Shag" Walls

Hannah-"Amos are you ready?"

RRMC: We see Hannah in a red evening gown and Amos in a tuxedo.

Amos-"Amos be all right, but this penguin suit be itchy!"

Hannah-"Amos we have to look nice for our double date tonight."

Beep beep!!

Amos-"Is dat dem?"

A male black Lab opens the door.  This is Loner, he is also in a tux.  
Pin-Pointer, a chocolate Lab follows him in.  She is dressed in a green evening 
gown.

Loner-"Hi, you must be Amos and Hannah."

Pin-Pointer-"It's a pleasure to meet y'all!"

Amos-"It be a pleasure over here too.  You be from Louisiana too?"

Pin-Pointer-"Me?  No, I'm from Memphis in Tennessee."

Hannah-"I've always wanted to visit Memphis!  I've heard it's very romantic."

Amos-"Amos hear that there's no crawdads there.  They got Crayfish."

Loner-"Actually a "crawdad" is a crayfish, different places of the country 
call it different things.  Anyway, shall we be going?"

Amos-"Oh yes, Amos can't wait I guarantee!"

The four walk into a sports car, Loner sits at the wheel.

Pin-Pointer-"Honey can I drive?"

Loner-"Um, remember what happened the last time you drove Pinny?"

Pin-Pointer-"Ok."

Amos-"Amos got idea , why don't you let Amos drive?"

Loner-"Actually, I read in the paper about your car episode.  I'm fine with 
driving."

Amos-"Ok."

Amos sits back in his seat.

Amos-"But Amos bet he don't get the one finger salutes they be giving Amos."

Hannah-"Oh Amos."

Hannah smiles.  The car takes off.  Los Angeles.  We see the four pull-up to a 
restaurant.

Hannah-"Oh my!  How'd you get reservations here?"

Pin-Pointer-"We have a friend who can be very persuasive."

Hannah-"Is he a Rover too?"

Loner-"Actually he's over there with his girlfriend Lita.  Hey Annihilator!"

The large Great Pyrenees Rover comes over.  He kneels down a bit so he can see 
the others face to face.

Annihilator-"What do you want?"

Amos-"So you is th' dog who got us these reservations?   Amos is thankful!
Hannah and me don't normally go to things THIS fancy."

Annihilator-"Hey, no problem.  You're one of my heroes next to Lt. Fydo, 
Grunt and Numbia and Poncho !"

Amos-"You hear that Hannah?  Amos be world famous!"

Hannah-"That's wonderful dear!"

Lita-"Annihilator, get back over here!"

Annihilator-"Oops, sorry guys.  I gotta go!"

Annihilator jogs over to her.  A waiter comes over to them and seats them.

Waiter-"Your menus,  would you like to see the wine list?"

Amos-"Whine list?  Who be whining?"

Hannah-"No Amos.  wine, like champagne."

Amos-"Oops, Amos's mistake."

Loner-"No thanks we're fine."

Waiter-"Oui oui."

The waiter walks away.

Loner-"Hmm, the swordfish sounds good."

Pin-Pointer-"Hmm, oh look Loney!  They've got jumbalaya!"

Hannah-"I think the chicken sounds good to me."

Amos-"Hmm, they's got a lot of food here.  Hmm 'Ez Car Got'?"

Loner-"Escargot, it's snails."

Amos-"That odd, why would a body want to eat snails?  They looks hard to eat 
to Amos!"

Amos looks on the menu some more and sees a rather offensive dish.

Amos-"What the.?  Someone git Amos that waiter!"

The waiter walks over.

Waiter-"Your salad."

Amos-"Hey waiter, why do you have gator on here?!"

Waiter-"It is a delicacy sir, it is fried and covered in a heavy cream sauce."

Amos-"How could you?!"

Waiter-"I'm sorry sir, if you have a complaint about the food, I'm not one to 
talk to.  I'm just a waiter."

Hannah-"Amos calm down.  We promised we'd have a good time."

Amos-"Oh, you know I can't resist dose blue eyes.  Amos will calm down.
And.hmm 'Prawn Soup'?  What's that?"

Pin-Pointer-"It's what you would call 'Crawdad Bisque' back home."

Amos-"Oh!  Amos know what he be havin' den!"

Waiter-"Very well, and the rest of you?"

Loner-"Sword fish."

Pin-Pointer-"Jumbalaya for me."

Hannah-"I'd like the roasted chicken."

Waiter-"Thank you, enjoy your meal."

The waiter leaves again.  Amos examines his salad.

Amos-"What dey be givin' Amos plants fer?"

Hannah-"It's a salad honey.  It's an appetizer so you don't get hungry waiting 
for your meal."

Amos-"Oh , Amos see!"

Pin-Pointer-"You guys should try the house dressing, it's magnificent!"

Amos-"Why would the house need to dress?"

Loner-"Um Mr. Amos, she means this."

Loner hands Amos the salad dressing.  Amos sniffs it.

Amos-"It's got an odd smell to it."

Hannah-"It's for you salad Amos."

Amos-"Oh, Amos see that's why it's called salad dressing."

He puts some on.

Amos-"Salad was nekked before but now it's dressed ..as much as you can dress 
a bunch of plants."

Pin-Pointer-"Amos you're hilarious!"

Pin-Pointer begins laughing.

Amos-"Dat's odd, Amos isn't even trying to be funny ."

Later.

Waiter-"Your food."

Loner-"Thanks."

The waiter once more leaves.  Amos takes his spoon and takes a taste of his 
soup.

Amos-"Dis taste all wrong for crawdad bisque!"

Hannah-"Honey, remember, it's crawdad soup."

Amos-"Well Amos gonna teach these guys how to make some REAL crawdad bisque!"

Amos gets up and walks to the kitchen.  Pin-Pointer looks at Loner.

Pin-Pointer-"You should go make sure he doesn't get into trouble dear."

Loner-"But why me?"

Pin-Pointer-"There'll be something VERY special for you when we get home if you 
do!"

Loner-"Is it blue?"

Pin-Pointer nods.  Loner gets up.

Loner-"Fine.  Excuse me ladies."

He walks back to the kitchen.

Loner-"Mr. Amos ?"

Amos-".now you be doin' dis all wrong!"

Loner looks around the corner and sees Amos talking to a chef.

Loner-"Amos, what are you doing?!"

Amos-"Amos be instructing this guy how to make Amos's Old Fashioned Crawdad 
Bisque!  You want some?  It tastes a lot better dan what he be serving!"

Loner-"I'm sorry sir."

Chef-"Don't worry about it mac!  This recipe he showed me is great!"

The chef takes a slurp.

Chef-"AHHH !!!  Now that's good!"

Loner-"Amos."

Amos-"Yes Loner ?"

Loner-".you really are something else!"

Amos-"Well, thank ye!"

The two go back to their table.  The manager walks up to them.

Manager-"Mr. Amos, the chef in the back told me of your "Crawdad Bisque" and I 
took a taste.  It was delicious!  Would you mind if I paid you for the recipe?"

Amos-"Paid in what?"

Manager-"Why, money of course!"

Amos-"No way, Amos not need money!  All he needs is his woman, his crawdad 
bisque and his hammock!"

Manager-"I'm willing to pay VERY generously."

Amos-"No thanks."

The manager storms off angry.

Hannah-"What's his problem?"

Pin-Pointer-"Got me!  Maybe he's got a case of hemorrhoids or something."

Loner-"Actually I'd say he's jealous of Amos!"

Amos-"Jealous of Amos?"

Loner-"Yeah, and it's just because of a recipe for crawdad bisque."

Amos-"Well, Amos just didn't want the money.  He can have th' recipe if he be 
wantin' it!"

Hannah-"I don't think he wants it anymore dear."

Amos-"Oh well, his loss!"

The four begin laughing.

Th' End